Safety

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MISSTHESCENE -> Safety (8/5/2010 5:10:09 PM)
Hello, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Morgana. I am a former pro-domme from the Baltimore area. I used to have a play place and I had several trusted submissives/clients. Unfortunately, I had to give that up. I am now at a place in my life where I would like to get back into the scene as a pro-domme. Despite the fact that some may think of pro's as a "hooker with a whip", that is not (usualy) the case. Sex is never involved. Whips? maybe... In fact, some prefer the professional relationship as oppssed to the personal. I have had both. The first does not cause drama. Anyway, my question, sister dommes is just this. How can I protect myself from psycho's? I used to have a friend stand guard outside of my play place with a safety signal. Lost her too. I will be meeting these clients in a hotel. I am dominant, but mortal. Please help. Thanks M.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Safety (8/5/2010 8:01:03 PM)
I really hated working from hotel rooms. Your creep/bullshit detectoe will have to serve you, short of hiring an actual bodyguard. Most psychos reveal themselves in the initial interview, thank heavens.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Safety (8/5/2010 8:01:25 PM)
Welcome to the message boards, MISSTHESCENE. I'm not pro, though a few here are and will probably be able to discuss this with you much better than I could.

LadyPact -> RE: Safety (8/5/2010 10:42:23 PM)
I'd suggest that you repeat the methods that were successful for you the last time. You had a 'friend' that was willing to keep within earshot in case something went wrong before. If it was helpful to you, repeat it. I'm not a pro, but generally use a hotel as a stepping stone between public and actually allowing someone to come to My home. (I used to joke that I should have tried to find a way to write off hotel fees on My taxes.) For Me, it's a simple matter of bringing My husband or My sub with Me. I don't see why it couldn't work the same way.

ladycynaptic -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 2:44:35 AM)
mortal? [:o] just be a good people reader... learn to discern voice and speech patterns. I've been able to spot possible flakes, law enforcement "checking up", and normal clients on the phone... generally if someone is really into BDSM they'll display it in how they address you. Be picky. I would say avoid working out of hotel rooms [ugh] - but do what you have to. I always text someone a license plate number or take other precautions. I dunno... hotel room would scream sketchy to me, so even try to establish a web presence and have something guys can look up, so they can get to "know you" a bit.

SolangeRichards -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 6:37:59 AM)
When feasible, why not rent the room yourself on a charge back basis? This allows you to control the meeting place rather than the client. You could agree to meet in the hotel lounge for instance rather than disclose the room number in advance. If the guy is the type to ring the danger buzzer you can kiss him off in a public place. It's a bit more cumbersome I admit, but handling a problem in a public watering hole beats getting trapped with a nut in Room 237 of the Overlook Hotel....

SnowRanger -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 5:00:55 PM)
Welcome Ms. Morgana! The public meeting place for the inital meeting is always a good idea. Having somebody out side the door is not always feasable. How about a call buddy? Call the up and say, for instance, "I am in room 237 of the over look hotel. The session will go for two hours. If I dont call back by then CALL ME!" It's kind of like filing and closing out a flight plan. Respectfully, Mike SnowRanger

thishereboi -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 5:21:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger Welcome Ms. Morgana! The public meeting place for the inital meeting is always a good idea. Having somebody out side the door is not always feasable. How about a call buddy? Call the up and say, for instance, "I am in room 237 of the over look hotel. The session will go for two hours. If I dont call back by then CALL ME!" It's kind of like filing and closing out a flight plan. Respectfully, Mike SnowRanger Yes, but when you think about it, all that does for her is insure that they find the body quickly and maybe, possibly catch the guy. The safety aspect was on of my main objections, when my ex wanted to try it.

MistressLonita -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 5:23:18 PM)
I am not saying that all pro-dommes are bad. I would not advertise it. I have seen it in action, and from what I have seen, there is just no way out of it. Sex will eventually be the outcome at some point. I know the way my state feels about this kind of thing. *MistressLonita*

thishereboi -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 7:18:20 PM)
quote: Sex will eventually be the outcome at some point. Not true, but if you say it enough times online, you will get someone to believe you.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 10:09:42 PM)
I only knew one 'pro' as it were but he was male. He however also used the 'friend' system. He and the other dominant, sometimes a female sometimes a male, both also into the 'pro' side of things, would always meet the client with him, confirm arrangements and so on, and be at or near the meeting place. If not directly at, then usually with a system of some sorts for checking in. I know there was always at least one 'interview' before hand, sometimes more than that.

MaamJay -> RE: Safety (8/6/2010 11:51:11 PM)
Most proDommes I have met have their own establishment, and usually have someone else in the house - either another Dominant, or maybe a house "slave" doing chores who could respond instantly. In the event that this isn't possible, then I would suggest: a) arranging a safe call person - someone whom you call at a prearranged time with code established which says "get Me out of here" without that being obvious to the other party in the room with you ... doesn't have to be a bdsm person, safe calls are good for any single person to arrange! b) obtaining sufficient information from the prospective sub that would enable the police to come after them should anything happen to you or you activate the safe signal ... that should be passed on to your safe call in advance eg drivers licence number, car numberplate etc c) hiring the room yourself and building that into the fee so you are in control of it, don't disclose the room number ahead of time d) meeting the sub downstairs initially for that chat/interview ... it may even be possible to let the hotel security person know you are meeting someone new and would they just keep an eye on things (you could play it that you had a bad experience with a date before and you are trying to move past that but still a bit nervy) ... alternatively, if you don't like the way the interview is going, terminate it by walking over to the security person or desk clerk and asking to be escorted to your room as you are concerned the other person might try to follow you e) making sure that in the hotel room there is a minimum of your personal property and nothing with your address etc on it unless it is locked in a safe, in case you get the infatuated stalker type That's about all I can think of ... I am not a proDomme Myself but have used these sorts of precautions in the past when meeting prospective lifestyle subs. Good luck! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Safety (8/7/2010 12:24:24 AM)
Providing your own hotel room is a better choice for another reason. A client supplying the room may have had time beforehand to strategically set up a video camera without your knowledge or consent.

WyldHrt -> RE: Safety (8/7/2010 1:09:39 AM)
quote: I'd suggest that you repeat the methods that were successful for you the last time. You had a 'friend' that was willing to keep within earshot in case something went wrong before. If it was helpful to you, repeat it. This. quote: I'm not a pro, but generally use a hotel as a stepping stone between public and actually allowing someone to come to My home. (I used to joke that I should have tried to find a way to write off hotel fees on My taxes.) For Me, it's a simple matter of bringing My husband or My sub with Me. I don't see why it couldn't work the same way. And this. I'm neither a pro nor a Domme, but I bet that I could find a friend to keep an eye on things if I chose to meet someone new in a hotel room.

COINT -> RE: Safety (8/7/2010 7:21:55 AM)
I do pro work very rarely. When I do, I have my service arm close by, and do it at home, with my male sub and fellow provider of force to The State is for extra safety.

ladycynaptic -> RE: Safety (8/7/2010 11:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLonita I am not saying that all pro-dommes are bad. I would not advertise it. I have seen it in action, and from what I have seen, there is just no way out of it. Sex will eventually be the outcome at some point. I know the way my state feels about this kind of thing. *MistressLonita* Pssshh... I've been pro Domming for over 8 years and it's never turned into sex. What do you mean "there is no way out of it"? Out of what? Being a pro Domme is not like being a prostitute controlled by a pimp who keeps her on heroin or something. It's usually someone who likes Domming and wants to turn it into a career or something along that line. There are plenty of ways "out of it" - like simply stopping?

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Safety (8/7/2010 11:55:28 PM)
The man you need to talk to

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Safety (8/8/2010 12:08:25 AM)
And just how does someone who's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally into bdsm will choose to address someone their talking to about bdsm? quote: ORIGINAL: ladycynaptic . generally if someone is really into BDSM they'll display it in how they address you.

ladycynaptic -> RE: Safety (8/8/2010 12:23:45 AM)
I'm sorry, I do not understand your inquiry. Horrendous grammar aside, people who are actually into BDSM will typically provide more detail than someone who is not, ask sincere questions, and not be a rude jerk.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Safety (8/8/2010 1:45:09 AM)
I thought maybe you were hinting that they'd call ya mistress or something if they really liked bdsm lol. And, there's rude jerks everywhere, even those who adore bdsm.[:D] As for horrendous gramma, eh, we can't all be grammaer genuisess, or care to be ,and most people have no trouble understanding me, horrendous grammar or not lol. quote: ORIGINAL: ladycynaptic I'm sorry, I do not understand your inquiry. Horrendous grammar aside, people who are actually into BDSM will typically provide more detail than someone who is not, ask sincere questions, and not be a rude jerk.

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