RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/8/2010 9:34:34 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I am sorry you had a bad experience. I had a terrible marriage with someone who should not be trusted, and he was abusive. He set my life back about a decade. I understand making bad choices, and having to live with them... it really sucks...

At the same time, we are all responsible for our choices, and if tossing out the term wannabe keeps people safe, go them! Labeling someone a wannabe because they are curious about the lifestyle, dress up in fetishwear, go to clubs, and have no interest in lifestyle relationships seems a bit severe to me. You think that is valid, fine! I don't. It does not keep me safe because people are labeled a poser, wannabe, fake for showing up at a club dressed in fetish clothes.

I am not into public play, going to munches, etc etc etc. I select my mates on the entire package. I think if others did this it would keep them safer. What ever happened to getting to know people in the context of their lives? I keep myself safe by using this standard.

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/8/2010 11:06:24 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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the term wannabe is completely pointless, ill agree. it protects no one and achieves nothing - and yet it exists, for whatever reason, probably a term that has been coined over the internet by those whove encountered them.

and yes, im very prepared to take responsibility for my choices, infact thats all part of the healing process for me.

i suppose the eternal optimist in me hopes that maybe one or two newbie subs will read threads like this and go 'aha! - its made clear' - or in my case i can recognise what that man was doing and forgive myself a bit. its the self forgiveness thats hard sometimes - forgiving youreself for being that dumb lasts much longer.

it didnt take me ten years to get myself back, im sorry that man took such a chunk from you, but i suppose it wasnt until i accessed this on the internet that i was able to finally identify what he was doing, that it had been Ds, albeit decidedly toxic. so i suppose up to a point what im saying is that this kinda thread might just speak volumes to someone who might otherwise be struggling with some stupid choice they made. sometimes understanding what happened helps you to put it to bed and start forgiving youreself.

x

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/8/2010 11:11:17 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

its the self forgiveness thats hard sometimes - forgiving youreself for being that dumb lasts much longer.

I remember my process of healing. I was soooooo good to him, and I couldn't find anything to fault myself for in the relationship. I realized that I had put up with the way he treated me and therefore I was responsible in that way. It was a huge epiphany for me at 23 years old, and I never forgot it. I felt blessed that I "got it" when I did, so that I never had to repeat the same mistake, and I never did.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 23

RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/8/2010 10:48:56 PM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
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wannabe is just another conjured up word for fake, I am not so much into made up words.
If you are you can use a whole new range of words that again box more people.
wannabewhite
wannabeblack
wannabebi
wannabedom
wannabe whatever
They want to be real but are not=fake
or are we gonna call the real ones reallies???? or genuwhines?

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/9/2010 5:20:07 AM

marlyn111

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/5/2010
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I find it interesting being new here, what people have to say regarding both definitions and how the asshats disappear over time. I have had my share over the last few days. To the point where I nearly left the site again a few hours after joining. But I have been very fortunate that there has been more genuine advice than idiots. I find it comforting to know that the longest I remain here the less grief I shall receive from wannabees. Thanks!

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/9/2010 7:49:14 AM

AlwaysLisa

Posts: 1088
Joined: 10/6/2006
From: Washington State
Status: offline

A wise man once told me..."labels belong on soup cans". We as human beings want to identify, categorize and label everything we come into contact with, and since people are constantly evolving, learning and changing, this becomes a fruitless venture. The label you stick on someone today, may not be accurate tommorrow.

jmho.

Lisa

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RE: Wannabe vs. Want-To-Be - 8/9/2010 10:31:01 AM

lally2

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Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marlyn111

I find it interesting being new here, what people have to say regarding both definitions and how the asshats disappear over time. I have had my share over the last few days. To the point where I nearly left the site again a few hours after joining. But I have been very fortunate that there has been more genuine advice than idiots. I find it comforting to know that the longest I remain here the less grief I shall receive from wannabees. Thanks!

lol

- in the end you actually develop a sense of humour about it. we had a thread a while ago with people briefly comparing asshat approaches.

my favourite so far is 'If youre not looking, remove youre profile and stop wasting peoples time!' that was it, the sum total - it makes me laugh every time.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Post #: 27