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Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 5:05:32 PM   
ShahaarSkye


Posts: 8
Status: offline 		I will apologize first off for the length of my post.  I'm not quite sure how explain what I am talking about with clarity in less words.
Earlier this summer I was working at a hospital doing my HIM clinicals.  On the first day I was introduced to the CFO.  After that meeting each time I would see him he would crowd into my space.  (he would stand very close and just intimidate me) Sometimes he would make a comment on my work but most of the time he just gave me that scary look and would walk away.  I know that he was not displeased with my work because my supervisor asked me to consider a position with the facility after graduation.  I have analyzed this to no end.  The only conclusion that I can draw was that he was performing some kind of test?  Is there some kind of sub radar that allows you to pick out a submissive in a crowd?  Or, he could have just been planning to kill me and harvest my organs for profit.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 5:11:28 PM   
bellesoumise


Posts: 258
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I know I saw a Sub Radar on one of those infomercial for $19.99

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 5:18:05 PM   
ShahaarSkye


Posts: 8
Status: offline 		You think they sell one that I can use to find good Doms? 

(in reply to bellesoumise)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 5:21:10 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		a lot of people simply don't have "space intuition"...meaning they don't understand that there's an invisible space that everyone has around them that should not be invaded. Unfortunately a lot of people just lack understanding this.

I wouldn't read too much into it.

Or he thinks you're just a "lowly" student while he's a CFO. Has nothing to do with being dominant. Has everything to do with status. I've seen this happen a lot in intern situations. He's telling you "I'm better than you so stay outta my way and we'll get along just fine".


(in reply to bellesoumise)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 5:29:50 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Or, even more likely in my head... Shahaar was over-reading the entire situation. I find a lot of people read WAY WAY WAY too much significance into the actions of highly placed superiors. The guy might've just been standing around taking an interest in her project.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 7:14:33 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~FR~
Some people just don't have any sense of personal space. More than once I've had to say "Will you please back off and get out of my personal space?" and the person normally will. They may or may not consciously realize they are invading mine, but when I bring it to their attention, they usually back off. Then, on the other hand, it might have been some kind of intimidation tactic.....

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 8:53:16 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		First thing I thought of when I read this was an old interview I saw of Julia Roberts complaining about Richard Gere being a 'close talker'.
I've had similar experiences with some people who just don't have a concept of personal space, or who do it because they're making a poor attempt at hitting on you... and it just comes across as a bit creepy.
If I know the person well enough revenge is often a boney finger poke in the ribs until they get paranoid enough to stay out of my reach.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub Radar - 8/10/2010 9:18:13 PM   
ShahaarSkye


Posts: 8
Status: offline 		Ya, if he wouldn't have been the CFO of the hospital I would have spoken up. As it was, he wasn't coming around to speak to me even. He would just stand there being creepy for a couple minutes and then walk away. I watched to see if he did this to others but didn't notice it. When there were others nearby he didnt do it. I will just chalk it up to general male creepiness and stop trying to figure it out.

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sub Radar - 8/11/2010 8:18:01 AM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Or maybe he's just a jerk that likes to bully folks.

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sub Radar - 8/11/2010 11:00:02 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShahaarSkye
I will just chalk it up to general male creepiness and stop trying to figure it out.
As a male, I just LOVE hearing shit like this. "General male creepiness"??? Huh?

I think I'm going to start responding to posts here chalking things up to "general sub flakiness" and see how far that gets me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sub Radar - 8/11/2010 12:37:31 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		.if he thinks being intimidating, dishing out scary looks and getting into peoples personal space is being a Dom then he's an asshat Dom

seriously though - you were there to learn and gain valuable experience and he's pulling this shit on you?  - well youve learnt a valuable lesson in what not to look for in a Dom

< Message edited by lally2 -- 8/11/2010 12:38:26 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub Radar - 8/28/2010 11:04:40 PM   
yourcumdumpster


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline 		I think there's a big difference between (not-so general, more like occasional and often male) creepy looks, intimidating stance, social ineptness and... being dominant in the bedroom. I can relate to the question, i've often had the same thought process myself but have been proven wrong on a number of occasions. Many people like to take advantage of those with gentle or more subtle dispositions and yet they're anything but a Dom in bed. I've had some amazing life experience in being able to test this in a few contexts. (i.e working at strip clubs, meeting tonnes of different personalities, cultivating conversation and then finding out what really turns them on)

That doesn't mean he isn't a Dom, just that i would agree with those who said you're likely overanalyzing. I think there are more people out there with poor social skills than good whip skills :)

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sub Radar - 8/28/2010 11:40:48 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShahaarSkye

You think they sell one that I can use to find good Doms? 


It's easy to tell if someone is a good Dom, we have membership cards. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub Radar - 8/29/2010 2:16:25 PM   
SebastianK


Posts: 14
Joined: 8/26/2010
Status: offline 		He mostly sound like a boss I once had. He was a bully and would pick out a few members of staff and watch them overly close. After a while he'd start pointing out every little bit he could possibly construe as a fault or flaw and keep going till people started to break down.

He did this with me and I'm not a sub, so that's how much I give for that radar idea.
(I left the job when he started to get to me. No job is worth your self esteem.)

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sub Radar - 8/29/2010 2:44:34 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShahaarSkye

I will apologize first off for the length of my post.  I'm not quite sure how explain what I am talking about with clarity in less words.
Earlier this summer I was working at a hospital doing my HIM clinicals.  On the first day I was introduced to the CFO.  After that meeting each time I would see him he would crowd into my space.  (he would stand very close and just intimidate me) Sometimes he would make a comment on my work but most of the time he just gave me that scary look and would walk away.  I know that he was not displeased with my work because my supervisor asked me to consider a position with the facility after graduation.  I have analyzed this to no end.  The only conclusion that I can draw was that he was performing some kind of test?  Is there some kind of sub radar that allows you to pick out a submissive in a crowd?  Or, he could have just been planning to kill me and harvest my organs for profit.



If it were a "test" of something he sees as desirably submissive in you (and, therefore, assuming he's a Dom), he'd more likely be using a lot of eye contact, to see how you (as a sub) reacts to a Dom's complementing gaze. Which happens to be veeeeery hot when you find it....

The thing is, you don't need to crowd someone to do it affectively. I think what you have is an arsehole working his way into a sexual harrassment suit. The least you should do is advise him (or your supervisor) that you're uncomfortable with his persistent invasion of your space so at least he's on notice.

Bullies mostly initially push to test if there's a push back (skewed predatory natural selection). If there isn't, they sense weakness and push harder and more often.... He's fulfilled his part, what's important is how you respond - or not.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sub Radar - 8/29/2010 3:05:28 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShahaarSkye

Ya, if he wouldn't have been the CFO of the hospital I would have spoken up. As it was, he wasn't coming around to speak to me even. He would just stand there being creepy for a couple minutes and then walk away. I watched to see if he did this to others but didn't notice it. When there were others nearby he didnt do it. I will just chalk it up to general male creepiness and stop trying to figure it out.


Somehow I missed this post....

What I said about Dom-sub eye contact being hot works *both* ways; ie, hot for Dom and sub alike.... Clearly you're not seeing 'hot', you're seeing 'creepy'. I mostly know a sub when I see one, esp regularly, and most subs know an aura of dominance when they see it, too. And you ain't seein' it with him.

The issue you really have is that you apparently think creepy arsehole-ishness (phew) is acceptible for those holding higher positions.... My own principles don't come with such a sliding scale of degree.... But I do expect more of those higher up the "food chain", NOT less! <shrugs>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to ShahaarSkye)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sub Radar - 8/29/2010 3:58:20 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		That's assuming the person you're referring to is dominant towards everyone and not just his romantic partners, of course.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sub Radar - 8/30/2010 4:12:02 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

That's assuming the person you're referring to is dominant towards everyone and not just his romantic partners, of course.


Are you talking to me?

If so, I'm thinking it's something to do with eye contact but mostly that's gone waaaay over my head - which hurts now; thankyou very much...! lol

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sub Radar - 8/30/2010 6:09:45 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

That's assuming the person you're referring to is dominant towards everyone and not just his romantic partners, of course.


Are you talking to me?

If so, I'm thinking it's something to do with eye contact but mostly that's gone waaaay over my head - which hurts now; thankyou very much...! lol

Focus.


Heh, sorry for the headache. You're right, that statement was directed vaguely towards your explanation, while also questioning the premise of this entire thread: that subs would act like subs, and doms like doms in public.

I'm sure some subs would be the ones ordering me around... .

I was just wondering if this would work with people who don't have an "aura of dominance" normally.I'm the type of person who has to get people to like him first, before I am at all capable of influencing them to do something. I can do interesting, inspiring, serious, staring out a window, fun... all sorts of things, but not "I'm in charge".
(Not impossible, but tiring to emulate.) My leadership style is (allegedly) "inspirational". So usually, I can't be bothered to lead anyone, unless I'm on a terribly failing sports team or Canada gets invaded by another bunch of green aliens.

So I really don't see what anyone could possibly pick up on anything D/s-related by just talking to me. Although, maybe just out of the eye contact...

Hopefully, that makes my question clearer (bolded part).

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/30/2010 6:13:57 AM >

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sub Radar - 8/30/2010 6:24:51 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

First thing I thought of when I read this was an old interview I saw of Julia Roberts complaining about Richard Gere being a 'close talker'.
I've had similar experiences with some people who just don't have a concept of personal space, or who do it because they're making a poor attempt at hitting on you... and it just comes across as a bit creepy.
If I know the person well enough revenge is often a boney finger poke in the ribs until they get paranoid enough to stay out of my reach.


Interesting, the first thing I thought of when I read it was Kevie, who spots dommes everywhere he goes.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 20
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