RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to the lifestyle?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to the lifestyle?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to the lifestyle?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 11:57:11 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I love dobermans!!

~~

~fr, again~

I am totally creeped out when some folks say that their kid is a "dom in training" like it's a good thing. They could just be bossy little bastages!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 12:27:16 PM

SeductiveAngel55

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline

If he or she were ok with me introduceing them to the lifestyle afterall by law 18 year olds are considered as adults.. But in my opinion they would have to be very well learned and very comfortable with me introduceing them to this lifestyle.. I would not push my kids no matter what age they were onto this lifestyle it would have to be of there own chooseing to want to be a part of it.

SeductiveAngel55

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 1:46:25 PM

pogo4pres

Posts: 593
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love dobermans!!

~~

~fr, again~

I am totally creeped out when some folks say that their kid is a "dom in training" like it's a good thing. They could just be bossy little bastages!

My daughter is not necessarily "bossy", but rather we have thrust responsibilities on her as she has gotten older. She is somewhat bossy with her brother but has to be, given he is 11 /12 months older, 8 inches taller and about 100 lbs heavier, but mentally about 5-7 years younger. He of course does not like this, so I end up being the frigging referee all the time. If she comes to her mother or me we will make sure she get the usual "beginners lit" and let her go from there.

Fatherly,
Some Knucklehead in NJ

_____________________________

"All life is pain highness, anyone that says different is just trying to sell something" The Man in Black (Dread Pirate Roberts)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 5:26:32 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love dobermans!!

~~

~fr, again~

I am totally creeped out when some folks say that their kid is a "dom in training" like it's a good thing. They could just be bossy little bastages!

Same here. When I hear people say this my mind automatically thinks "bully" or "bitch".I cringe when I hear people say that about their kids like it's a good thing. Imo I don't see anything at all positive about it and they're trying to fit their children into their kink which is just....frightening.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 6:26:22 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love dobermans!!

~~

~fr, again~

I am totally creeped out when some folks say that their kid is a "dom in training" like it's a good thing. They could just be bossy little bastages!

I agree. It is somewhat akin to personification of animals. When some people attribute characteristics to their pets, as if they are human. Same thing with their children, a comment like "dom or sub in training" is a rather narcissistic way to look at your kids, to make them in your own image.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 6:53:57 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh good, I was hoping others would see what I meant by that, even if they didn't agree! WAY after the edit expired I was thinking about my wording.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 7:01:18 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I agree. It is somewhat akin to personification of animals. When some people attribute characteristics to their pets, as if they are human. Same thing with their children, a comment like "dom or sub in training" is a rather narcissistic way to look at your kids, to make them in your own image.

Hold on a second. Sure, sure... it's possible for parents to channel their children onto paths that are more about the parent than the child. In fact it happens in vanilla contexts all the time. But it's also possible that a parent would size up their child and say, "Yes, dominant nature" and be correct. I'm pretty certain that I'm correct that my older son is dominant and my younger is submissive at least right now in their lives.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 7:04:14 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Sorry Jeff, I maintain my opinion that dom/sub traits should not even be thought of in regards to your children. Why on earth would you or anyone else be interested in your children's sexual predilictions unless they decide to discuss it with you?

(in reply to leadership527)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 7:41:22 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

Because not everyone sees dominance and submission as being sexual. I don't. Granted, I'm sexually submissive but that's because I'm submissive in every other aspect of my primary relationships. For me it's not about being sexual or even kinky, it's about being me. If I look at my adult children's normal behavior and see "submissive" or "dominant" then I'm looking at how they view the world, just as with any other behavior that a parent sees in their child. It's part of their personality, just like this is part of mine. I shouldn't realize that one is very musical or analytical? How is their natural demeanor any different?

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 7:41:54 PM

MistressZ2010

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline

Good question,In short if my daughter let me know she was interested in the life style then yes I would be at least honest and explain things and see what happens next.......I know when I was at that age I did what I wanted anyway ,but I like to think my daughter could ask or tell me anything about anything......My first experience in the lifestyle I walked in only knowing it excited me but had no real idea,and paid for that with a flogging I will never forget,and to be open I was very ashamed of what I was into.Now bring it on ,I switch as well so I know both sides and find guidance is worth its weight in gold

< Message edited by MistressZ2010 -- 8/16/2010 7:43:30 PM >

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 8:51:07 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Wow. I wish my parental people were as not interested in my sex life as the majority of posters.

And if I had a daughter, I wouldn't go out of my way to explain BDSM to her. I'd encourage her to be assertive or at least act in such a way in her daily life with the appropriate people. If she came to me with questions, I would answer honestly.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/16/2010 11:57:43 PM

xkittenx

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline

No, I wouldn't introduce my children or really anyone to BDSM. Its not my place.

One of my nieces asked me about it. She's 21 so I didn't have a problem answering her questions and reassuring her that it wasn't wrong to be curious about things. Thats about as far as we're going to go with it though. I have no interest in teaching her how to use toys or accompanying her to any play parties or anything. I figure if she's that interested, she can learn the same way I did.

_____________________________

- kitten 2.0

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/17/2010 6:16:03 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I know we gotta be careful when we talk about young people in any way. However, I always knew what I was, even at a ridiculously young age. This past weekend, a young man saw Ms. Mlicious riding in her rickshaw. He asked if he might rub the feet of the queen. Nobody is going to have to introduce that guy to anything. He already knows.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to xkittenx)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/17/2010 6:37:40 AM

ouchthathurt

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

No I wouldn't, nor did I discuss BDSM with any of my four kids. I did discuss the importance of college, their futures, staying safe and making the best choices for themselves. They are are happy, educated and successful adults. If any one of them are into the BDSM world I don't know about and honestly I prefer not to know. However, that being said, if any of them came to me to discuss BDSM or any other topic, I am always there for them and answer them honestly and to the best of my ability.

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/17/2010 9:19:21 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I would not introduce her to it. If she stumbled on it and had questions i would answere them calmly and rationally no freaking out for this mom. I do believe however 18 is a little too young to know what you are into ( in most cases anyway). If she wantedf to give it a try though i would respect her decisions and find a munch for her to go to to talk to other like minded people. Before she gets into it too deep i would try to make sure it was really what she wanted get her some books on the subject.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to ouchthathurt)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/17/2010 9:29:51 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

FR

I was wondering just how much D/s might mirror the situation for adults with children who may/may not be homosexual. Is it possible that a child could be as unhappily inhibited about his/her dominant or submissive orientation as a homosexual child might be? Do children who want to hurt, or be hurt, get screwed up about such feelings?

It requires a delicate touch, certainly. If I had kids, I think I might use my own mother's tactic. That is, if I spot something that hints at him or her being vexed about something, but about which he's not happy to talk, I think I'd try to leave some info for him to 'find'. That might be a good start, anyway.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ouchthathurt)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/19/2010 6:51:01 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlserves

I was wondering what others thought about this. If you had an 18 year old daughter that had some submissive/slavely traits, yet you have kept them sheltered from the lifestyle... would you introduce them to it, or would you leave them to stumble across it on their own at some point? If you would introduce them to it, how would you go about it? If you wouldn't, what would your reasoning be for not?

I think there's a difference between being sheltered and ignorant. I don't advocate the latter and will candidly admit I kept a lot away from my daughter but her awareness wasn't shortchanged. In terms of BDSM, she's very knowledgeable but I wouldn't introduce her per se, but I did educate her and explain some of the things she might encounter when dating. In regard to the traits mentioned, I think that's difficult to surmise as the parent. Her reactions and personality would be different with the opposite sex and unless she was forthcoming and expressed her desire to relate to him in that manner I wouldn't assume she's "submissive" and most definitely not a slave. And she understands the differences quite well. I think it's commonplace for people to notice behaviors and make erroneous judgments based on their radar. What's more important is that she has a healthy opinion regarding men and is allowed to make her own decisions unaided by her parents. It's an influence that I'd never foist without solid feedback to support it.

~porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 8/19/2010 6:53:59 AM >

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/19/2010 8:20:31 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Reminds me of a mistress i used to visit some years ago, who had a son who knew all about what the mother did. The son married, the mother tried to introduce her daughter-in-law to the lifestyle, in no time the marriage collapsed, their were childeren involved, rotten idea.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to sweetgirlserves)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/20/2010 1:10:29 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I kinda think it's up to the eighteen-year-old daughter to find BDSM on her own. If she came to me for advice, I'd give her advice. Otherwise I'd stay the hell out of her sex life.

Ditto!

CP

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Would you introduce your 18-year-old daughter to th... - 8/20/2010 2:46:53 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

Why do you make it about sex? D/s-M/s is not about sex for me. Who says it would be for an 18-year-old?

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 60