RE: Do you or have you -

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sexyred1 -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 11:38:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Of course people judge others based on their photos and the words accompanying them. How could you not? That is all someone has to go on in this medium. There is no voice, no eye contact, no aura surrounding a photo; only the photo itself and the words. Why is this wrong? If you want to project a certain attitude, you do. If it is the wrong one, change it. To me its wrong because your judging someone before you know them. Just as if your child was in school for the first day and a teacher judged them, judging sometimes stays with the person. I believe its wrong to judge someone before you know them whether its internet or not. It's better to have an open mind, not a closed one and say, I don't like the photo so I don't like the person. To me, my opinion, its wrong. Sorry, I disagree with your analogy. This is completely different from a child in school. We are discussing adults using photos to present a view of themselves on a kink dating site. What you are not grasping is often times judgement is really preferences. You have every right to have a preference. If someone doesn't like redheads and they see my photo, they have a right to not be interested in getting to know me as a person, correct? I don't care to change their opinion or judgement; it is what it is. I could have been their ultimate soulmate but who cares? They did not go for it. I don't feel judged or horrible that I am not their type; I am the same way. If I don't like a photo, I judge it as being uninteresting to me. If for some reason, I have further contact with that person and they end up being an intriguing person, then my opinion may change, but it all comes down to preferences. I always shake my head when so many threads are started with the intention of judging preferences as not being open minded. A preference is not being open minded, it is a preference. My preferences have nothing to do with being open minded.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 11:44:28 AM)
That's so true, Sexyred. There are some folks that are just...not appealing. And some that totally ARE. I am sure that you have found that the more attached to someone you get, the better looking they get! But if there is NOTHING, then time doesn't change that much. Doesn't mean they are horrible people.

sexyred1 -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 11:48:04 AM)
Oh, absolutely, LadyHib. I have fallen in love with men who at first glance, I said were not my type at all. Later on, I was insanely attracted to them. On the other hand, I have met hot guys who were so obviously assholes that I could not summon up the least bit of attraction for them other than fleetingly. And of course, not being attracted to someone does not make them any less of a good or bad person.

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 11:51:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Oh, absolutely, LadyHib. I have fallen in love with men who at first glance, I said were not my type at all. Later on, I was insanely attracted to them. yep, and once that was the case he was off the market [&o][&o][&o]

LaTigresse -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 12:20:59 PM)
I absolutely do make a judgment call based upon photos! If a woman has a profile photo of herself laying naked and spread eagle on the bed with her bits out for all the world to see, I do not want to be in a relationship with her. Similarly with words like 'worthless cunt/pig/whore'. If their surroundings are filthy but they say they are an expert at some sort of organizing or housekeeping, I will laugh and pass them by. If they say they are looking for a woman dominant but have a photo of themself sucking a cock......I will roll my eyes, hide them, and pass them by. Judgmental US mutt and totally okay with it[:D]

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 12:25:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Of course people judge others based on their photos and the words accompanying them. How could you not? That is all someone has to go on in this medium. There is no voice, no eye contact, no aura surrounding a photo; only the photo itself and the words. Why is this wrong? If you want to project a certain attitude, you do. If it is the wrong one, change it. To me its wrong because your judging someone before you know them. Just as if your child was in school for the first day and a teacher judged them, judging sometimes stays with the person. I believe its wrong to judge someone before you know them whether its internet or not. It's better to have an open mind, not a closed one and say, I don't like the photo so I don't like the person. To me, my opinion, its wrong. Sorry, I disagree with your analogy. This is completely different from a child in school. We are discussing adults using photos to present a view of themselves on a kink dating site. What you are not grasping is often times judgement is really preferences. You have every right to have a preference. If someone doesn't like redheads and they see my photo, they have a right to not be interested in getting to know me as a person, correct? I don't care to change their opinion or judgement; it is what it is. I could have been their ultimate soulmate but who cares? They did not go for it. I don't feel judged or horrible that I am not their type; I am the same way. If I don't like a photo, I judge it as being uninteresting to me. If for some reason, I have further contact with that person and they end up being an intriguing person, then my opinion may change, but it all comes down to preferences. I always shake my head when so many threads are started with the intention of judging preferences as not being open minded. A preference is not being open minded, it is a preference. My preferences have nothing to do with being open minded. And if that works for you its wonderful. Of course we're all entitled to the opinions we have. So I have mine, so do some of the others, none of us rule the opinion but mine is valid as well as yours. Mine works for me, a child doesn't have to be under the age to still be considered a child. An adult would understand the analogy. To be called a slut because someone looks at your picture is different then someone not liking red hair. So to each their own on how they view someone. I still stand by my opinion of thinking I was wrong to view some I didn't quite know. Just as I am wrong to pass by a novel because I don't like the cover. Just as I would be wrong to judge someone with red hair if I didn't like it. For me, and me alone its a wrong emotion, for you it might not be, for me, it is. So therefore, of course you can disagree and put your thoughts about it out there, but mine are very and completely valid to me.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 12:32:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus That's so true, Sexyred. There are some folks that are just...not appealing. And some that totally ARE. I am sure that you have found that the more attached to someone you get, the better looking they get! But if there is NOTHING, then time doesn't change that much. Doesn't mean they are horrible people. And I guess thats why you cant judge a book by its cover. I've had the best gentleman photographs approach me, and when conversations begin it's a different ball game. So my theory on the picture again is repeated, if you immediately take the hot model, and just assume you can never approach them, well you can. Or if you look at a woman and think shes this or that, without engaging further you might just miss out on the best opportunity of a lifetime. So again, I feel wrong for ever judging some of the people on a photo alone, but will still continue to do so because my mindset as Toppingfromthebottom brought out and Sappa as well, if you look and see a complete mess in the photo, why move forward. However, what happened with me is, I may have judged someone unfairly not because it was a cock shot, or a woman spread eagle, it was just a photo, nothing to it. I'm not saying I did this, but if I ever did, I would think it was wrong of me to have missed the opportunity to find a lovely person behind the photo, to which I have, and so I would want to apologize for being so wrapped up in the mindset of eyesight alone.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 12:53:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I absolutely do make a judgment call based upon photos! If a woman has a profile photo of herself laying naked and spread eagle on the bed with her bits out for all the world to see, I do not want to be in a relationship with her. Similarly with words like 'worthless cunt/pig/whore'. If their surroundings are filthy but they say they are an expert at some sort of organizing or housekeeping, I will laugh and pass them by. If they say they are looking for a woman dominant but have a photo of themself sucking a cock......I will roll my eyes, hide them, and pass them by. Judgmental US mutt and totally okay with it[:D] Me too, and I guess up until today I never realized how much so. The point is, I would not be bothered either judging any of those, those are absolutely out there screaming, Judge me. I think I may have judged someone who wasn't either of those. For instance (and this isn't the way it was its just an example) A man who has a picture up consistently of a block of wood, is trying to connect with me. I may look at that photo and say, he has no talent, or imagination, couldn't he pick something better then a block of wood. But really he's the most wonderful person. I personally felt wrong for judging someone I speak with now, because I gave them a chance. Before I didn't - to me it was a piece of wood. I judged with my sight alone. Forget the cock shots or the spread eagle ones, those are immediate judgement. I agree wholeheartedly, but the block of wood, now I feel wrong for judging. Its a stupid post, I guess again why I put it on the Random Stupidity forum. It's not politics or religion, or anything else, just my opinion of that damn effin piece of wood, lmao.

Dnomyar -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 1:09:04 PM)
Let a man jump in here. I can honestly say that I have never judged anyone by their photo. I have met several people from here at CM. The pictures they sent me had no bearing on me meeting them. I won't say anything more about the pics I have recieved other than thank you ladies. I do a lot of taking with people before I meet them. Most of the women have been incredible. There have been a few nut cases. Go into it with an open mind and you wont be dissapointed. I really appreciate you women for putting up with me.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 1:21:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Let a man jump in here. I can honestly say that I have never judged anyone by their photo. I have met several people from here at CM. The pictures they sent me had no bearing on me meeting them. I won't say anything more about the pics I have recieved other than thank you ladies. I do a lot of taking with people before I meet them. Most of the women have been incredible. There have been a few nut cases. Go into it with an open mind and you wont be dissapointed. I really appreciate you women for putting up with me. For me I'm newly putting up with you, and I can tell you its a pleasure, thanks for the input, Its valued, and I wished I never did judge, I have a feeling because I did, I may have missed time well spent, because of a judgement I was wrong for judging. There I go again with the dreaded "wrong" word. But being a secure dominant woman, I can admit to my failures, and that certainly was one, and I was wrong. Thank you Dnomyar and it is a pleasure meeting you.

BentUnit -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 2:22:26 PM)
I use judgment attitudes to my own advantage. Since I've pulled down my gallery and became a 99 year old Lithuanian Transvestite the tide of leg humping c-mails has completely stopped. Nigerian scammers don't even bother to send me c-mail.

LadyPact -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 2:33:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissSophieM I'm with LadyHibiscus on this. On the other hand, I purposely have edge-play shots up because I DON'T want emails that say: I'm new and all I really want is a spanking and opportunity to peform cunnilingus... Of course there are those who don't notice that my "victims" are really happy in their position and think I'm a murderess. That's just fine because I'm looking for someone who ENJOYS fear-play and is an experienced R.A.C.K. player. . Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! OP, I have to disagree with you to a point. I do judge people and I don't make bones about it. If something isn't attractive to Me, I'm not going to say it is just to coddle somebody about it. If the cock shot gets put up and it doesn't have anything BDSM related about it (rope work, etc), yes I am going to think that person is pretty clueless and tell them that they might be more suited to AFF. The experience level thing above definitely means a lot to Me. I'm not going to bs people about it.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 2:49:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: MissSophieM I'm with LadyHibiscus on this. On the other hand, I purposely have edge-play shots up because I DON'T want emails that say: I'm new and all I really want is a spanking and opportunity to peform cunnilingus... Of course there are those who don't notice that my "victims" are really happy in their position and think I'm a murderess. That's just fine because I'm looking for someone who ENJOYS fear-play and is an experienced R.A.C.K. player. . Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! OP, I have to disagree with you to a point. I do judge people and I don't make bones about it. If something isn't attractive to Me, I'm not going to say it is just to coddle somebody about it. If the cock shot gets put up and it doesn't have anything BDSM related about it (rope work, etc), yes I am going to think that person is pretty clueless and tell them that they might be more suited to AFF. The experience level thing above definitely means a lot to Me. I'm not going to bs people about it. But that's not disagreeing with me. I said the same thing. I don't see where there's an agreement or disagreement in my post. I feel exactly the same. So now I'm seeing it differently, I'm seeing more of a disagree with me on what we agree upon. Or are you disagreeing with me because I felt I was wrong for judging the other shots, and not the cock shots. I don't understand what your disagreeing with me about. I said I felt wrong for judging the other profiles not the ones with cock shots and everything else. So again, I agree, and still don't see anything otherwise, I mean maybe I'm missing something, but I didn't say I don't judge.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 2:55:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: sappatoti Those kind of shots don't bother me. If someone wants to show their genatalia, in whatever manner, that's their business. If the genatalia is unique in some sort of way, I might view the photo a bit longer than if it was the standard "cock with ruler," "cock with beer can," or pussified dildo shot. Again, that's just me. I'm not offended by those types of shots. However, if they're using them to grab my attention, they also better have some bang-up profile text to go with it. I didn't know dicks were your thing, Sappa! [;)] Yeah, some doof with his hand on his dick thinks that he's making a GOOD impression? Sorry. I do appreciate a handsome penis, attached to a handsome body even more so, but I do not accept that as a way of saying "I will serve you well and honestly." Lol, neither did I - learn something new every day!

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 2:58:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: MissSophieM I'm with LadyHibiscus on this. On the other hand, I purposely have edge-play shots up because I DON'T want emails that say: I'm new and all I really want is a spanking and opportunity to peform cunnilingus... Of course there are those who don't notice that my "victims" are really happy in their position and think I'm a murderess. That's just fine because I'm looking for someone who ENJOYS fear-play and is an experienced R.A.C.K. player. . Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! OP, I have to disagree with you to a point. I do judge people and I don't make bones about it. If something isn't attractive to Me, I'm not going to say it is just to coddle somebody about it. If the cock shot gets put up and it doesn't have anything BDSM related about it (rope work, etc), yes I am going to think that person is pretty clueless and tell them that they might be more suited to AFF. The experience level thing above definitely means a lot to Me. I'm not going to bs people about it. But that's not disagreeing with me. I said the same thing. I don't see where there's an agreement or disagreement in my post. I feel exactly the same. So now I'm seeing it differently, I'm seeing more of a disagree with me on what we agree upon. Or are you disagreeing with me because I felt I was wrong for judging the other shots, and not the cock shots. I don't understand what your disagreeing with me about. I said I felt wrong for judging the other profiles not the ones with cock shots and everything else. So again, I agree, and still don't see anything otherwise, I mean maybe I'm missing something, but I didn't say I don't judge. Oh and I guess were the same on certain aspects of the post here, I coddle no one at anytime, anywhere, I stand by what I said, I judged someone I shouldn't have, they didn't have the cock shot, if you read down, I spoke in detail about what I was conveying. I def do judge the eagle spread woman stating "NO MEN" and all the cock shots, and other bullshit. I tell all things as I see them.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 3:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit I use judgment attitudes to my own advantage. Since I've pulled down my gallery and became a 99 year old Lithuanian Transvestite the tide of leg humping c-mails has completely stopped. Nigerian scammers don't even bother to send me c-mail. I just adore you. But of course because when you had up your beautiful picture - You were judged. Not only by men who assumed they could get in your pants, but by women who immediately hated you because your so beautiful. So no one gets to know how gorgeous you are inside, because theyre sitting there judging you from the outside picture. Of which I happen to know is one hot gorgeous effin beauty!

BentUnit -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 3:31:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit I use judgment attitudes to my own advantage. Since I've pulled down my gallery and became a 99 year old Lithuanian Transvestite the tide of leg humping c-mails has completely stopped. Nigerian scammers don't even bother to send me c-mail. I just adore you. But of course because when you had up your beautiful picture - You were judged. Not only by men who assumed they could get in your pants, but by women who immediately hated you because your so beautiful. So no one gets to know how gorgeous you are inside, because theyre sitting there judging you from the outside picture. Of which I happen to know is one hot gorgeous effin beauty! Actually, Petal, I got very few catty e-mails from the females of this site about my gallery when I had my gallery up. Most c-mails from guys on the other hand thought my sole existence was to provide them with wank fodder and that was from the other side of C.M. where they didn't have too much history here on the forums. I think the guys here (as in here on the forum) had a fair idea from my posting style what sort of response a "horn-dog" c-mail would receive.

MistressLavinia -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 3:37:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: BentUnit I use judgment attitudes to my own advantage. Since I've pulled down my gallery and became a 99 year old Lithuanian Transvestite the tide of leg humping c-mails has completely stopped. Nigerian scammers don't even bother to send me c-mail. I just adore you. But of course because when you had up your beautiful picture - You were judged. Not only by men who assumed they could get in your pants, but by women who immediately hated you because your so beautiful. So no one gets to know how gorgeous you are inside, because theyre sitting there judging you from the outside picture. Of which I happen to know is one hot gorgeous effin beauty! Actually, Petal, I got very few catty e-mails from the females of this site about my gallery when I had my gallery up. Most c-mails from guys on the other hand thought my sole existence was to provide them with wank fodder and that was from the other side of C.M. where they didn't have too much history here on the forums. I think the guys here (as in here on the forum) had a fair idea from my posting style what sort of response a "horn-dog" c-mail would receive. very few - are a fucking few too many. It's because your beautiful and your gallery is a work of art, you are a work of art. To judge you because of a photo is just wrong. And it's all about why I posted this. Yes, go ahead judge the cock shot, judge the woman spread eagle who bitches about Men asking to sleep with her, but to judge someone like yourself, male or female judging is still in my opinion - wrong.

LadyPact -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 3:44:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia quote: ORIGINAL: MistressLavinia But that's not disagreeing with me. I said the same thing. I don't see where there's an agreement or disagreement in my post. I feel exactly the same. So now I'm seeing it differently, I'm seeing more of a disagree with me on what we agree upon. Or are you disagreeing with me because I felt I was wrong for judging the other shots, and not the cock shots. I don't understand what your disagreeing with me about. I said I felt wrong for judging the other profiles not the ones with cock shots and everything else. So again, I agree, and still don't see anything otherwise, I mean maybe I'm missing something, but I didn't say I don't judge. Oh and I guess were the same on certain aspects of the post here, I coddle no one at anytime, anywhere, I stand by what I said, I judged someone I shouldn't have, they didn't have the cock shot, if you read down, I spoke in detail about what I was conveying. I def do judge the eagle spread woman stating "NO MEN" and all the cock shots, and other bullshit. I tell all things as I see them. We are actually disagreeing, though you might be confused because I didn't elaborate. I do put this into two categories. Friend and BDSM interest. It is the latter where I can (and have) absolutely judged on sight. Those areas can include - Old enough to be My father. Young enough to be My child. Old enough to be My grandfather. (Not kidding here. Looked eighty if a day.) Morbidly obese. (350+ pounds) Needing severe dental work. As to the spread eagle shot and then saying "no men". I actually don't see that as an issue. No, most women wouldn't post that shot, but if she did and her preference is other women, it makes perfect sense.

divi -> RE: Do you or have you - (8/16/2010 3:44:46 PM)
I do .. I judge all the time.

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