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RE: i am a newbie with questions - 8/18/2010 2:57:36 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w

Jeffff, you were right and i should have approached this conversation in a more respectful way since i would like the same approach.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Since this posting, we talked and i covnveyed my feelings and the pain i'm having today. This is definitely a lessons learned and in my desire to please Him, i overlooked myself.

Try to think of it like this. I do understand the desire to not have to deny him, I am the same way. However, you're not failing by using the safe word or telling him no. He doesn't really want to harm you and if you deny him the information he needs to keep from doing that, you're setting him up for failing.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)

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RE: i am a newbie with questions - 8/19/2010 9:45:15 PM

sindrive2010

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline

I want to be a sub for my dom but i am having a hard time letting
go of my dom side. In the bedroom sexauly i am submissive but
out of the bedroom im more dom. How do i let that go to be a good
sub for my master?

(in reply to Jeffff)

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Post #: 22

RE: i am a newbie with questions - 8/19/2010 9:51:25 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sindrive2010

I want to be a sub for my dom but i am having a hard time letting
go of my dom side. In the bedroom sexauly i am submissive but
out of the bedroom im more dom. How do i let that go to be a good
sub for my master?

Per your profile, you're both new. I don't think this is an issue of what you should do as much as an issue about what the two of you should do. See if there's a local group that you could meet people at.

Also... if you make a new thread with your question instead of hitching a ride on an existing thread, it'll be easier for others to find it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sindrive2010)

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Post #: 23

RE: i am a newbie with questions - 8/20/2010 3:06:11 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

next time use your safe word if i say stop or no i dont usually mean and he knows it so he wont take notice unless i use a safe word. i can take a lot of pain on my nipples and will take a couple of days till i dont feel them sensitive against clothes and if its cold i make sure i wear a couple of tight tops. i also feel like i have let him down if i use it and it took a while to learn that it is ok i still feel bad if i use it and need a lot of cuddles etc if i have done so you are not unusal in thaat

(in reply to Jeffff)

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Post #: 24

RE: i am a newbie with questions - 8/21/2010 5:30:16 AM

subwaythru

Posts: 4038
Joined: 3/31/2010
Status: offline

Begging a Dom to stop is not the same thing as using one's safeword. You must use this word if you really mean it. If your Dom is truly experienced, I cannot understand why this was not discussed and then discussed again, well before any activity commenced at all. And once that safeword is established, for whatever reason-- surgery or whatever your reason, that safeword is law.

Pushing is for limits that are available to be pushed --- but as a very wise Dom told me, when it ceases to be fun, when the attentive Dom observes that real damage is going to result, and/or when the safeword is used, the activity stops. Immediately.

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miss s

(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)

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Post #: 25