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"Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:05:54 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I have an issue on that OTHER site, and I bringing it here to the folks I know.

I own a personals group. I don't have a ton of rules, but among them is that your post CANNOT be a trolling for sex post, and it must be in good taste.

This has created a whole skeleton of contention lately, for various reasons. I was asked just what IS "tasteful"?

Well? I know what I think, but how about you all? Any helpful hints or examples so I can explain to the yobbos what fails and what wins?

I do NOT care about what folks have in their profiles, just in the ads they post to my group. See post below.:_


Crabby old bat Hib

~~pls leave this here, mmkay? kthx mods!

Edited for clarity.

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 8/20/2010 11:18:25 AM >

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:08:30 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Before I answer, what do you mean by "list"? And by "post", do you mean their email or their profile?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:11:58 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Tasteful as in not posting threads to complain how negative and not real everyone is?

Tasteful as in not posting your first line as: all women are cunts and should be shut up?

Tasteful as in not posting your cock and or assorted dangly things?

Tasteful as in not offering to be a sperm donor to a million women on a kink site?

Tasteful as in not asking strangers to give you masturbatory material?

Tasteful as in writing a somewhat interesting and honest personal about what you are seeking?

Tasteful as in not having a blank profile?

Tasteful as in not showing photos of other women, all your toys in your closet and only sunsets and puppies?

Tasteful as in having some semblance of a sense of humor?

That kind of thing?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:16:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Tasteful as in not posting threads to complain how negative and not real everyone is?



I have had this guy send me a nice email. Both times he did so I looked at his profile and his journal and it is filled with listing women he has deemed as "fakes", complaining about this site, etc....

I emailed him back that I found his journal really negative, and he was genuinely surprised someone would read it like that. I just couldn't be involved with someone that put this much effort into finding "fakes" here

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:17:05 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		My Fetlife GROUP, I should have said. Since it is a personals group, I am moderating the posts---so what folks have on their profiles is not what I care about.

A post that will be deleted says "I am looking for a cumdump for the weekend." To me, that is BAD TASTE, and goes against the no trolling.

A post that discusses the person, ie "I am a dom in SE Michigan, in a poly group, we attend xyz parties regularly, and we are interested in abc" is okay.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:19:35 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Tasteful as in not posting threads to complain how negative and not real everyone is?



I have had this guy send me a nice email. Both times he did so I looked at his profile and his journal and it is filled with listing women he has deemed as "fakes", complaining about this site, etc....

I emailed him back that I found his journal really negative, and he was genuinely surprised someone would read it like that. I just couldn't be involved with someone that put this much effort into finding "fakes" here



UTTERLY in agreement. And if he had posted that to my group, he would have gotten commentary.

But he wouldn't have gotten pulled for being icky.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:21:09 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Soooo "I am a dom in SE Michigan, in a poly group, we attend xyz parties regularly, and we are interested in bukkake, forceplay and hard use (for example)" may MEAN the same as "I am looking for a cumdump for the weekend." but be more tasteful... because it is more "literate"?. Methinks tasteful is like beauty - in the eye of the beholder.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:23:05 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo "I am a dom in SE Michigan, in a poly group, we attend xyz parties regularly, and we are interested in bukkake, forceplay and hard use (for example)" may MEAN the same as "I am looking for a cumdump for the weekend." but be more tasteful... because it is more "literate"?. Methinks tasteful is like beauty - in the eye of the beholder.


HAH!! No, actually that would not do it at all. That's an example of a post where the person would get a nice note about editing for content, instead of just being summarily yanked.

and HEY!! Will someone answer the question?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:26:41 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		He might enjoy being summarily yanked... (wonder if that translates into American).

I did try to answer... tasteful is in the eye of the beholder. Your yuck is my tasteful is her icky saccharine....

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:26:45 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Thanks for the clarification, Hib.

As you probably already know, My opinion on this is fairly conservative.  The word that leaps to My mind in this instance is "overt".  I really don't have much fondness for hearing how wet kink X gets someone's pussy or how hard someone's dick gets during kink Y.  Sure, that's a part of all of this for many people, but can't you find a little more class in the way you say it?  I don't find it all that difficult to use a little innuendo and still get your point across.


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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:29:46 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I say right out in the rules that my co-mod and I decide what is in good taste. We are both 47. We enjoy a little grace and dignity.

98% of the time it is NOT an issue at all. This whole rhubarb started when we nailed some doof who has been repeatedly warned, and still screws with the rules. So of course, IT'S THE MODERATOR'S FAULT!

Whatever.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:38:50 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Well in THAT case good taste is what you and co mod say it is. It's your ball... three strikes and he's out?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:45:14 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		" All you bitches who read this should kneel!"

Tastseful?.......... or should it be "whom"?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:46:37 AM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		I'm still working on "cumdump". What amazing use of the English language. I look at it like this. No one in the world would ever expect me to be such a freak, only because I don’t advertize it on the outside. A little prudence goes a long way. Of course, if you don’t have what people want to hear in your profile, then they probably are going to pass you by.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 11:56:08 AM   
flcouple2009


Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline 		Basically it's your group, whatever rules you make are fine and dandy.  Anyone who doesn't want to abide by those should just find another group.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:01:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: flcouple2009

Basically it's your group, whatever rules you make are fine and dandy.  Anyone who doesn't want to abide by those should just find another group.




Common sense AND hotness in the same person?? :::THUD::::

Yeah, I pretty much DO say that. It takes like, ten seconds to start a group on Fet, so those folks who are looking for AFF:FL should just do it, I say. But, when you are trying to make the nice with the newbs, you want to be sure that you are not just being a stubborn old biddy.

Jeff, I do NOT pick on teh grarmmer and spellingk! Unless they spell Cumdump wrong, then we will mock them.



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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:06:04 PM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		I can see where cumdump would be difficult....

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:14:42 PM   
flcouple2009


Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: flcouple2009

Basically it's your group, whatever rules you make are fine and dandy.  Anyone who doesn't want to abide by those should just find another group.




Common sense AND hotness in the same person?? :::THUD::::

Yeah, I pretty much DO say that. It takes like, ten seconds to start a group on Fet, so those folks who are looking for AFF:FL should just do it, I say. But, when you are trying to make the nice with the newbs, you want to be sure that you are not just being a stubborn old biddy.

Jeff, I do NOT pick on teh grarmmer and spellingk! Unless they spell Cumdump wrong, then we will mock them.




Be careful, you can never be sure which one of us is doing the writing .  Most people can't tell from what is written because we both think so much alike.

The newbies should get one chance to screw up and have the rules explained to them.  After that they get popped over the head as well.  They should know their audience as well.  While there are people who respond to being called a cumdump, there are probably not many into the thought being tossed around that openly in your forum.  I am just guessing if they were, then they would be participating in a forum that is not moderated in this manner. 

BTW she is hot isn't she?  Over my shoulder she also says thank you're pretty hot yourself.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:15:32 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: praetorian1974

I can see where cumdump would be difficult....



It's a pretty common fetish really, along with bukkake. Now if they misspell bukkake... the LULZ!! I am waiting for that day!

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:22:43 PM   
thatsub


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Soooo "I am a dom in SE Michigan, in a poly group, we attend xyz parties regularly, and we are interested in bukkake, forceplay and hard use (for example)" may MEAN the same as "I am looking for a cumdump for the weekend." but be more tasteful... because it is more "literate"?. Methinks tasteful is like beauty - in the eye of the beholder.


HAH!! No, actually that would not do it at all. That's an example of a post where the person would get a nice note about editing for content, instead of just being summarily yanked.

and HEY!! Will someone answer the question?

I think Whenready gave a really good example. Both of the messages are essentially the same, but they present the author in a different way and as such will get different results. Depending on what kind of response (not trolling) the author is looking for, the first message about "cumbucket" might give better results. "Tasteful" is really in the eye of the beholder.

Trolling in my eyes is more of posting something only to disrupt or derail discussion, while not really looking for an honest response at all.




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