Such a thing as a "boring" submissive?

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Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 10:35:21 AM

anniezz338

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Have you ever been with a submissive you would term boring and what made it boring? What gets boring in a relationship and what gets boring in the just meeting and getting to know you phase? Any opinions would be appreciated....thanks

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 11:03:36 AM

DarkSteven

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I'm not sure what you mean.

Is she boring during play? Or boring outside of it?

I'm a pretty boring man myself, so if she was boring outside of play, we'd likely get along fine. But I can't figure out how a sub would be boring during play. If that's what you mean, please clarify.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 11:08:37 AM

sexyred1

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I could never be boring; I am too much of a smart ass on one hand and intense and deep on the other.

I am an amalgam of many things; I like that in others.

Yikes, that sounds kind of conceited, doesn't it? I am not really; just the facts.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 8/22/2010 11:09:21 AM >

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 11:31:56 AM

anniezz338

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lol...I guess it's all subjective anyway. Just boring, like not vocal, repetitive stuff, personality not hot enough....just stuff that bore Doms.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 11:55:43 AM

DarkSteven

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Okay. So go for a quietly-inclined Dom.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 12:06:19 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Have I ever been with a sub I found boring? Well, no, because if they bored me in the getting-to-know-you phase, I wouldn't have been with them. What makes a sub boring is going to be highly individual. For example, my idea of "boring" is someone who thinks a Sunday afternoon in front of the TV watching sports and drinking beer is a good time. Or someone who spends hours reading and talking about the latest celebrity gossip.

However, my idea of a good time is reading Shakespeare or other classical literature to each other or discussing the merits of Advanced Dungeons&Dragons version 3.5 vs 4.0. I daresay the types of things I enjoy would bore plenty of people to tears, but it works for me and my partners. Find someone who likes the same things you like and you won't have to worry about being boring.

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 8/22/2010 12:07:40 PM >

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 12:09:53 PM

DarkSteven

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Um, OP, it just hit me... is your post saying that when you begin to talk with Doms online, they insist on sex talk? If that's it, stick to your guns - they're wankers. As Sylvere said, if you're not compatible before the sex talk hits, it ain't gonna work.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 12:10:47 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Yes. Oh dear heavens yes.

It lasted less than a year. I tried, honestly I did, but I just couldn't deal. There has to be a level of something I can't really define to keep me interested over time, and it does NOT come out later on if the person is shy. Sometimes shyness means that they don't have a blessed thing to say.

Not a fault in him, just an incompatibility for both of us. I am convinced that there is someone out there that is also a sports fan, who will find him wonderful.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 12:29:04 PM

myotherself

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As a sub, I've been with doms who've bored the crap out of me. I'm sure it's worked the other way round too. None of those relationships ever got off the ground.

And online I've been accused of being a fake more times than I can count (last time - about an hour ago, lol) because I won't provide a stranger with free wank-fodder chat.

Take a step back - think about it as being in a compatible relationship. If you don't find each other interesting on a friendship level, then it's not going to work on any level, including D/s.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 12:47:47 PM

Twoshoes

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3 things: personality/relationships/play

There can people with boring "personalities".

Personally, I find certain types of people to be boring in terms of relationships; it's usually the quiet I-don't-want-to-disappoint you types that scare me away. Also, for me no "slaves".

It's because the only thing I can feel for them is empathy/protectiveness and then I become boring too. After awhile, I can't stand myself and they can't stand me. This applies to my vanilla relationships aswell. I value 'interesting' over everything except 'trustworthy'.

So if you value stability, a clear path and security above being interesting, then find yourself someone who is good at providing those things. There is nothing wrong with you either way.

Specifically for purposes of 'play', there's brats, subs which like to test limits (they call it "put in their place"), people who like violent sex and being physical overpowered, etc who will never be boring. Refer to this thread for examples. You could say they are not "true submissives", but there was another thread recently discussing labels for submissives and reaffirming the validity of different individuals.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 1:51:53 PM

DesFIP

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Jettison the word boring. Substitute the word compatible. Some dominants want subs who act up occasionally, giving them an excuse to 'punish' or use force play. Others dislike that intensely. Neither is right, neither is wrong, what matters if they're with someone who is compatible.

If you're asking should you act up to keep your top interested in you, I'd have to suggest you talk with him.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 3:19:44 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

lol...I guess it's all subjective anyway. Just boring, like not vocal, repetitive stuff, personality not hot enough....just stuff that bore Doms.

"Stuff that bore Doms"...???? There is most likely nothing that bores Doms as a category. Take out the word "Doms" and insert "men" instead... stuff that bore men.

Is there anything that universally is boring to all men? Nope, not even shopping. Doms are not another species, they are men who prefer to be in charge in a relationship. Do you have them up on a pedestal??

Cali

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 3:29:22 PM

Twoshoes

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Shopping is fun, paying not so much...

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 3:44:58 PM

mstrjx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

Shopping is fun, paying not so much...

Depends on what for. Some things are worth the investment.

Jeff

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 4:12:39 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Is there anything that universally is boring to all men? Nope, not even shopping.

Uh, CalifChick, I'm pretty sure that she wasn't referring to the gay men....

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 4:17:18 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

Shopping is fun, paying not so much...

Depends on what for. Some things are worth the investment.

Jeff

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 4:21:02 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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Hi Annie,

I am probably boring to many. Honestly, I'm a chronic homebody who likes her life quiet and peaceful. To someone who likes to bar hop and go go go, I'd bore them to tears. I've also been known to hardly say a word to anyone for days, especially when I'm in the middle of a book or an art or web project. Compatibility makes for excellent companionship

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 4:46:44 PM

mstrjx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Hi Annie,

I'm a chronic homebody who likes her life quiet and peaceful. I've also been known to hardly say a word to anyone for days. Compatibility makes for excellent companionship

< Message edited by mstrjx -- 8/22/2010 4:47:39 PM >

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 4:50:51 PM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

Shopping is fun, paying not so much...

Depends on what for. Some things are worth the investment.

Jeff

Way to suck up even more than I did, Jeff. There better be some sort of mails resulting from this.

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RE: Such a thing as a "boring" submissive? - 8/22/2010 5:13:02 PM

mstrjx

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Nope. I don't often get mail. Traded some earlier today giving advice, which I enjoy. Not often of a personal nature. I's imtimidatin'.

Jeff

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