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misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:27:55 PM

SadistInProgress

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/1/2010
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I don't post much here, but lately I've been worried about a problem in my relationship with my slave and I wanted to ask the opinion of the CM community. He is very adorable and obedient, but he keeps throwing pennies at my boobs. This is a much bigger problem when I'm just lounging around the house in a tank top or my bra and my breasts are more exposed. We're disorganized people and we have piles of loose change lying around. He will just take a penny whenever the urge strikes him and fling it at my boobs like a frisbee. Is this disrespectful? How can I communicate this to him, without seeming like my authority is so easily undermined?

Post #: 1

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:34:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

There is a very simple way to end this. Tell him that this behavior is not acceptable. If he continues to have his fun in this manner, make him aware that you are not willing to engage in activities that you consider fun with him (such as S/m) until he understands that you're not going to tolerate it. (I'm surprised you've ever allowed him to do it more than once.)

Another solution - remove the ability. Tell him that every piece of loose change in the house must be picked up and put into a jar. If he's your slave, put his ass to work picking it up. No loose change around the house equals no chance for him to pick it up at random and toss it at you.

Should either of those not work, let him know that you are more interested in a slave that doesn't act like someone who has growing up to do.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 2

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:34:54 PM

subanthony2010

Posts: 36
Joined: 6/16/2010
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What an interesting post to me. i have to comment as a sub here so my answer may not be what Your looking for. i have to imagine he is doing this because he wants attention from You. The example You gave was You could be lounging around the house which suggest Your paying him no attention, so to me he is doing this to get Your attention the same way a child would throw a little fit to gets its parents attention. Maybe by putting him on time out for a long time with no attention will get his attention that You don't approve of his behavior. While growing up as a child i would throw a fit and my parents would simply sit me in my room and tell me to stay there until my fit ended and i could act in a way they approved of. It worked because i hated being alone. Hope that helps You some.

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 3

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:36:48 PM

zenny

Posts: 275
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline

Heh.. Have you identified the source of the behavior? If it is attention seeking you could shape it into a more acceptable form. If it's because he derives pleasure from the action you could replace it with another behavior as well... I don't know your dynamic and can't really speak on the respect part... but I personally find it quite humorous and think I would if I was having pennies Frisbeed at me

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 4

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:39:58 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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I'm confused.

Your authority IS being undermined because you are not communicating. What he does is not important - the fact that you don't like it is, as well as the fact that you are not telling him.

The place is disorganized. Is this something you don't like? Have him fix it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to subanthony2010)

Post #: 5

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/22/2010 7:45:29 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Whether or not it's disrespectful entirely depends on whether YOU find it so. It seems You do, so it's time for the behaviour to desist. You have had good advice from both of the previous posters. Definitely remove the temptation ... get him to clean up ... BUT I would also suggest adding an incentive for good behaviour. It can be hard to break a habit if this is indeed a bad habit. I am inclined to agree that this IS an attention-seeking device, just not one that gets him a desired sort of attention. Is there something he wants to buy badly? Maybe a new bdsm toy that he would love You to pay him attention with? If so, tell him that IF he keeps the place clear of loose change by putting it all in the jar that when there is enough in the jar You will buy him this toy! At the same time, give him an alternative attention-seeking strategy that IS acceptable and respectful to You. Perhaps kneeling at Your feet in a particular position of supplication? Or kissing Your foot or hand as a preface to saying something like "Ma'am (or whatever he calls You) may i have Your attention please?" And then stating his request once he has Your attention and permission. Whatever it is, YOU have to then make sure You respond positively when he does it, don't get impatient with him for doing as You have said. And don't say "What are you just kneeling there for?" showing You have forgotten Your own cue! This behaviour modification will require You to be on the ball too for at least the next few weeks.

Good luck
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to subanthony2010)

Post #: 6

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 9:13:32 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Well, I certainly know how this would go if it were ME. How you should handle it is, of course, up to you. For ME:

Me: You do understand that in my book, the word "slave" means "total obedience", right?
Slave: Yup
Me: Good, then don't ever throw a penny at me again. If you do, then you are not my slave and I will release you without discussion or review. Is that clear?

If the slave says anything other than "yes master", then the slave is released. If the slave throws a penny again, then the slave is released. Problem solved.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 7

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 9:41:29 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I had the sneaking suspicion that it was a hoax, then I looked at your profile, now I'm fairly sure it is a hoax...

Apparently you are looking for a slave in your profile, it could of course be entirely possible that in the 21 days since you signed up, you might have met the slave, moved together, have a stable relationship in an unorganized house and he throws pennies...

Or maybe you are looking for another slave (which you didn't mention in your profile that he would be one in a stable) who then throws bigger coins?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 8

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 10:41:22 AM

PeonForHer

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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FR

I hope that anyone coming to this forum in the future to discuss the problem of a slave chucking pennies at her boobs will use the search function first.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 9

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 1:12:30 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

SadistInProgress,

Having not read any of the replies yet, here's my answer. The fact your house is "disorganized" and apparently provides plenty of "ammunition" for your slave to fling at you is irrelevant. Communicate to your slave how this makes you feel and ask him not to do this. Even if your slave believes he is doing this is a playful, affectionate way, impress upon him that you don't like this and don't receive the gesture in a positive way. If your slave continues, you'll have to make a call whether you're willing to put up with this kind of behaviour or not.

Personally, whether I'm on the top or the bottom, I don't go in for punishments, reminders, behaviour modification et al when it comes to this sort of thing. Either my partner respects my wishes or they don't, and vice versa. Communication is the only tool I'd use to solve this problem. If your partner continues even after you've asked him to stop, yes, were I you, I'd find this very, very disrespectful. I can't tell you how to deal with this as only you know whether this is a deal breaker for you. For me, this small act wouldn't be a deal breaker on its own, but if it continued after I communicated, negative feelings would stack up. If my partner were not keeping me happy in other ways (so much so that I was willing to let this "penny annoyance" go), it would eventually add together with something else and cause me to end the relationship.

Elan.

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 10

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 1:47:37 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Have you considered beating the hell out of him? That might work.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 11

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 2:29:28 PM

SadistInProgress

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline

Thank you for the replies. I've scolded him about his disrespect and he apologized for his disobedience. He claims he did it out of affection, but I've attempted to beat that out of him :)

@LadyConstanze - I'm looking for a second slave.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 12

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 2:35:46 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

OP, if you've communicated this to him, and he persists, then it's time to sit him down and have a chat with him about what if means to be a slave and if he truly desires that.

I wonder if he's doing if deliberately for the beatings.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 13

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 2:50:51 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

SadistInProgress,

quote:

Thank you for the replies. I've scolded him about his disrespect and he apologized for his disobedience. He claims he did it out of affection, but I've attempted to beat that out of him :)

I hope you mean the above somewhat in jest. :-) Communication of this sort doesn't tend to work when beating of the non-play variety is involved. If he was doing this out of affection (which, really, I can't see any other way he would be doing this), then a simple misunderstanding occurred. As odd as this sounds, while it wouldn't by my way of expressing it, I'm guessing his flinging pennies at your breasts is a way of telling you you're sexy. Yes, men are most certainly strange beasties at times.

E.

(in reply to SadistInProgress)

Post #: 14

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 2:57:43 PM

Ladynslave

Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay
Is there something he wants to buy badly? Maybe a new bdsm toy that he would love You to pay him attention with? If so, tell him that IF he keeps the place clear of loose change by putting it all in the jar that when there is enough in the jar You will buy him this toy!

MaamJay, I hope you don't mind, but I am sooo stealing this idea.

_____________________________

Women and cats will do what they please. Men and dogs need to relax and get used to the idea.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 15

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 3:17:56 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

I'm guessing his flinging pennies at your breasts is a way of telling you you're sexy.

I've come over somewhat psychoanalytical. It recalls a the phrase 'a penny for your thoughts'. Since the pennies are direct at the breasts, that becomes 'a penny for your sexual thoughts/ nurturing thoughts and/or [because it's located behind the breasts] what's in your heart'.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 16

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 4:02:58 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

PeonForHer,

quote:

I've come over somewhat psychoanalytical. It recalls a the phrase 'a penny for your thoughts'. Since the pennies are direct at the breasts, that becomes 'a penny for your sexual thoughts/nurturing thoughts and/or [because it's located behind the breasts] what's in your heart'.

Perhaps true. However, he could be a more pneumatic thinker. He may just like the way she "bounces" when startled.

E.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 17

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 4:50:28 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
PeonForHer,

Elan, please call me 'Peon'. I feel that we're friends now, despite that irksome Atlantic. 'Peon' still sounds stupid, but a touch less stupid than 'PeonForHer'.

quote:

I've come over somewhat psychoanalytical. It recalls a the phrase 'a penny for your thoughts'. Since the pennies are direct at the breasts, that becomes 'a penny for your sexual thoughts/nurturing thoughts and/or [because it's located behind the breasts] what's in your heart'.

quote:

Perhaps true. However, he could be a more pneumatic thinker. He may just like the way she "bounces" when startled. .

There is that. And congratulations on your phrase 'pneumatic thinker'. That took real delicacy of touch there, Elan.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 18

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 5:06:58 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

quote:

Perhaps true. However, he could be a more pneumatic thinker. He may just like the way she "bounces" when startled. .

There is that. And congratulations on your phrase 'pneumatic thinker'. That took real delicacy of touch there, Elan.

Hahha - at your "pneumatic thinker".

Actually, this is a great idea to try with a bratty sub. A Mistress's problem is another person's inspiration.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/23/2010 5:08:01 PM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 19

RE: misbehaving slave? - 8/23/2010 6:26:31 PM

servantforuse

Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

At the least he is very inmature. He certainly is not really interested in this lifestyle. I would show him the door untill he grows up.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 20

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