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how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:05:05 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

ok.. today i just deleted 10 emails from overnight from males approaching me completely in a manner other than described and outlined in my profile.

either they're under the age i prefer (among other things).. or they just give me one liners.. or they offer themselves for cam/phone etc.

my profile is rather clear in what i expect.. and i know i expect a lot- but it's because i can. and if i male doesn't wish to serve in any of the capacities outlined in my profile.. well then good luck and godspeed. i say i dont want men UNDER a certain age, i say i don't want a cam slave.. i dont want a submissive pussy licker or submissive sex *partner*.. i dont want this or that.. yet they still approach.. OR they approach in a manner not expressed in my profile which is rather clear & evident.

but a question to the Dominas..

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding? and why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?

i know if i were sub, and interested in someone in particular, i would read their profile top to bottom and do WHATEVER their profile says for contact.

newsflash subbie bois..

read.. just read..

when someone DOES follow my protocol for contact to the LETTER..

i know i have a good one on my hands..

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

Post #: 1

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:11:01 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Most emails I get are from men who have not read My profile at all. They saw my name on the list and sent me a message without reading anything.

I don't even have protocols to follow! I outline some basic requirements/terms, and ask that either they have a well-written profile, or send me a well-written initial email. I rarely get either. Most are clueless. Most are wankers. Now and then there is a shining light that makes it all worthwhile.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 2

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:19:48 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Well, welcome to the ocean--a sea of unwashed masses---LOL----My profile says very clearly I have a boy and yet I get -2 emails a day from around the world begging to be a slave to Me--yes its irritating, all I can say, is be prepared, delete and move on. Good luck in your search and welcome to the boards.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 3

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:24:51 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?

quote:

Most are clueless. Most are wankers.

That about sums it up

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 4

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:30:31 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

lol well glad to see i'm not the only one!

and thanks for the welcome

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 5

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:36:22 AM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding? and why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?

Pretty much every guy who has contacted me fails to read. I can tell when they ask a question and it was already in my profile. So they should really already know the answer.

quote:

when someone DOES follow my protocol for contact to the LETTER..

i know i have a good one on my hands..

Definitely my experience.

I'm probably going to have to put in my profile, something about how I expect to be contacted though, as I get a lot of guys approach me in sub mode so calling me mam, or mistress, and "may I ask?" and all that. I tend to see that as just being into the internet fantasy stuff rather than dealing with reality. I'm sure different people are different, but for me it's just a sign of a someone who could only want internet submission.

< Message edited by DigitBox -- 4/21/2006 9:38:45 AM >

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 6

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:37:46 AM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

While I'm certain that you get a frustratingly high level of "junk" mail, you are not alone. There is a never ending supply of idiots out there, and virtually all the women, Dom or sub, get to hear from them. It's not restricted to women; I even get the rare message from a dom who has not made it past the first sentence in my profile, though any mail is generally a pleasant surprise.

Previous threads have addressed this topic, and no perfect solution exists. Ignoring them is likely the easiest path, though it does require reading at least part of the message. You can also go into "Mail Controls" and set some rudimentary filters such as age, sex, and D or s.

If deleting them unanswered rubs you the wrong way, may I suggest adding a line to the effect that "messages from those who fail to meet xx% of my requirements will go unanswered." It won't stop the messages, but it will have told them what to expect; that is assuming they read that line.

You could also plant a phrase near the end of your profile, and require it to be the first line of any message. That would at least immediately sort out those who read all the way through from those who didn't. Of course it only indicates a miniumum amount of comprehension.

Tasha

_____________________________

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 7

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:40:05 AM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

I have experienced the opposite i.e. written exactly to their profile, and comment on their forum contribution with humor and respect, yet get replies to the effect that they just do not know what Iam talking about, even to the point of insulting me, tellingme my email is pointless and tedious.

I was specific in my email and comments so it occured to me some profilers are not even familiar with their own profile or their own forum coments. Now that is ridiculous. The kinosphere has us 'profile' bound, with many hung-up on profiles. Yes get as specific as you want and write at the forum, but know what you have written in both cases or it is you who come off as...

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 8

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 9:53:56 AM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

It's true that people of all persuasions often skip reading the profile. A shame, since it's there to enlighten, and save us all wasted time.

While I try to be courteous to all, I have taken to not bothering to reply to those who CLEARLY didn't read it at all, such as might be evidenced by sending a one-line chat come-on.

I don't bother to engage in bickering with people who are negative or have some sort of problem with my preferences.

Still, I believe in a certain amount of latitude when dealing with people in general (as opposed to in a strict D/S relationship). So, if someone is polite and merely misunderstood something I wrote, I reply in kind. If they aren't 100% what/who I might prefer, I don't write them off as a person.

Interestingly, being polite to someone when you tell them no thank you sometimes results in a pissy "you're not a Real Dom" reply.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 9

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 10:49:10 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

Not surprisingly, since I took the photo off my profile, the email solicitations have dropped very low.

Regardless, those that read - and pay attention - and demonstrate that they've paid attention - to what my profile actually says are far and few between.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 10

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 10:51:03 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Odd man out again here.... generally the emails I get are pretty respectful. Granted they sometimes consist of one liners, but even those are respectful. And for the few that aren't, I reply in kind and generally get a heartfelt apology.. sometimes leading to wonderful conversations.

For the most part, if they are from this country I reply to everyone, good, bad or indifferent. I'm not discriminating against people from other countries, it's just that I'm looking for 24/7 and just don't see someone from another country as being able to fulfill that... now.... if they come here on their own and contact me then... we'll talk.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 11

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 11:09:17 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

(First, tasha, thank you for pointing out the mail control feature. I didn't even realize it was there. This might be why so many subs ask why they got no response to their email.)

On to the OP...
It is very important to me that subs contacting me adhere to my profile. The first words in my profile are "Read the profile. I wrote it for a reason." If they can't even get that far, I really have no interest whatsoever.
And I fully admit I am a "no response" Domme. I even put in my profile "these are folks whom I do not have room for in my life, and I will not respond to if they message me." and yet.... they message me. (Although I do have to put in a good word for crossdressers and those into the sissy/fem thing. Since I put in my profile that I'm not into that, messages from them have cut down drastically, which shows me that *in general* this particular group pays attention to profiles.)

I have noticed that the more specific I make my profile, overall, the less mail I get. So at least there are some out there reading profiles. Of course, when I put fairly near the top that I have no interest in sex, that takes a big chunk out of wankerism.

I truly believe part of it is just in the medium we're using. For some reason the internet draws incessent adulterous masturbators the way shit draws flies. I think a lot of the dedicated, real time, 24/7 slaves just don't hang out in the profile section very often.
(Although, I'd love to know where it is that they do hang out. I'd be there instead of here.)

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 12

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 11:13:20 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

After I changed my profile I got a lot of messages starting with, you're right nobody reads them

n then blabla...
but then i did get a few where they say they would've read it..

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 13

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/21/2006 6:31:22 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding? and why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?

Right now I am not looking, but when I am, I'd estimate that about 90% either do not read My profile at all before responding, or either read it and think they are so wonderful I'd make an exception for them (which is never the case).

I clearly state the information I need in a submissive's letter of application, but most do not not pay attention and send form letters, one-liners, etc. There are certain things I need to know in order to decide whether to move forward and do not have the time to ferret out this information.

The good thing is that when a submissive who meets My requirements writes, and his letter of introduction contains the elements I have specified, he is like a shining jewel and stands out from the crowd

Lady Topaz

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 14

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 8:39:25 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I would say that 80% of the mails I get have not read my profile.

Another 10% have and it is clear that they have but they have a different suggestion for me. Usually these are folks who live too far away to honestly give me the face-to-face time I would need to get to know them.

The last 10% have read my profile and they don't approach me with a "I want to be your slave" (with a variety of interesting spelling and grammar issues) but instead say something like "Hi, TammyJo, I live about two hours from you and I read your profile. I'd really like to chat for a bit if you have time."

Even if things didn't work out, those are still folks I'll drop a line to or get a note from ocassionally saying "That was a cool comment you made" or other friendly things.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 15

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:02:06 AM

Real0ne

Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline

Everyone here knows my position on dommes being rude and ignoring legitimate emails sent to them.

However, in the case of them NOT following the requests in your profile, fuck em! unless of course your profile has so many if's and's and buts that it would boggle even the most brilliant minds of our time in which case it would be understandable, but things like age really doesnt take a genius to figure out.

Oh but dont feel to awful bad, when i had a profile up the dommes that wrote to me didnt read it any more than the boys read yours! My solution was to take it down and do my own hunting since the last time i checked i know how to read. LOL

< Message edited by Real0ne -- 4/22/2006 9:10:38 AM >

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 16

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:08:31 AM

TeeGO

Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess
but a question to the Dominas..

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding?

Just to add a comment on the flip side. Every new Domme that contacts me always comments on the profile.

The thing that kills me is that the few local emails I received have generally no info in the letter nor in the profile, What am I supposed to do with that? I try to politely point that, oh well. My guess is the thought that ALL subs are just desperate. Finding a fulfilling D/s FemDOM relationship is a dream. But I'll not sell my soul for it and if it never happens I can comfortably live with that.

My point? Proper communication is an absolute MUST. And following specific instruction in a profile qualifies under that umbrella.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 17

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:15:44 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO
Finding a fulfilling D/s FemDOM relationship is a dream. But I'll not sell my soul for it and if it never happens I can comfortably live with that.

I'm currently paying $4.95 per soul if you change your mind.

(Plus shipping of course.)

(in reply to TeeGO)

Post #: 18

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:27:07 AM

Real0ne

Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO
Finding a fulfilling D/s FemDOM relationship is a dream. But I'll not sell my soul for it and if it never happens I can comfortably live with that.

I'm currently paying $4.95 per soul if you change your mind.
(Plus shipping of course.)

Thats not a very good deal TeeGo! Your soul is worth $18.99 here: http://www.buysouls.com/site/484836/product/000-0003

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 19

RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:29:50 AM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline

I get a lot of female submissives trying to serve. I typically ignore them or depending on my mood I'll politely decline. some turn into nutcases and others accept and apologize saying they just had to try.

The most of my hate mail comes from american submissives since I don't really accept american males. they can get a wee bit hateful, even though i've responded with civility. i typically just read and delete email that doesn't adhere..

It's harder to reply to tell someone they don't fit the bill because then they feel dejected and will often get on the defensive. I've noticed it's just better to not reply at all because inevitably someone will fee rejected and start to become attacking (which just further makes me glad I chose to ignore them)

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 20

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