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RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 10:13:07 AM   
Goddesshesykhia


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline 		I would have to agree. Most of the emails that I recieve also are exactly like the ones you describe. I don't really let it get under My skin. I just nicely delete them.

Lady H


_____________________________

Regular love has two ways to go. It can either feed
you or destroy you.

A D/s love goes both ways. It destroys you and feeds
you all at the same time.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 10:26:18 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		i know it may come off as rude, but it's easier not to reply than to respond just to pretty much tell someone.. UM if you can't read my profile then don't contact me.. or to tell them.. well, you're not in my age bracket. or sorry. i prefer european males for servitude.. enjoy your search.

then you get the pissed off people that send mean ass letters after they've never received a reply. so even ignoring doesn't help sometimes.  i just take it with a grain of salt..lol i just got a kick out of a male submissive that emailed me the other day to say i'm "unamerican" because i don't train american submissives..

amusing.




_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Goddesshesykhia)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 1:10:22 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

It's harder to reply to tell someone they don't fit the bill because then they feel dejected and will often get on the defensive. I've noticed it's just better to not reply at all because inevitably someone will fee rejected and start to become attacking (which just further makes me glad I chose to ignore them)



I couldn't agree more.  This is a pet peeve of Mine.

One common request I hear from male submissives is that they want to hear back one way or other, even if it's "no thanks."  Having heard that, I used to be very conscientious about getting back to almost every submissive who replied.  Unfortunately, some folks don't handle rejection very well and sent Me some absolutely hateful, very uncalled for, over-the-top e-mails in response to a simple, polite "no thanks."

Now I am inclinded to just not get back with them at all.  In almost every case, My profile stated that they were not what I was looking for, so there really was no point in them replying in the first place.  I have now adjusted My mail controls so many of the people who are not prospects go directly into My bulk mail folder.  They don't get a reply because I don't even see their mail.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:40:24 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Your original question. How important is adherence to your profile?

Extremely important!!!!

I have specific information that I wish to have mentioned within the first email communication. I place this info in my profile because I feel it is important to know upfront.

If they do not include this in the email... I don't reply. It is of my opinion that when a person skips reading my profile & writes that dreaded one line or even a small novel without these indicators, they are in fact only interested in fulfilling their own agenda & have little or no regard for me or my personal wishes or desire.

Sure, maybe they just got their fingers engaged before their brain & pop off a short reply or forget to add those indicators... I look at each profile of the people who write me. If I gather a strong sense of sincerity there or find something they have said interesting I will write them a small note stating that I was looking for specific information in their email & it was not there... please go back & read over my profile & most recent journal entries. If they still have interest to communicate after this, provide the indication that you have read my profile within the next reply.

I am also one that believes no reply is the best reply when it comes to emails as well as profiles that I have no interest in. You are quite right about how some people will turn nasty when they are declined.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:50:15 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Like SonnetMarwood, I took My pic off My profile and got rid of all the garbage.

Now, My pic is reserved for the serious contender.

It's been a pleasure to receive some of the solicitous and sincere emails I've been reading lately.

Good luck to you,

TexasMaam

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 9:52:03 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Oh, yes, and I took My profile down for awhile, too.  It was very specific and for the most part, subs who emailed me obviously read and understood it.

I may put it back up, eventually, but I'm not inclined to at this moment in time.

Good luck to all,

TexasMaam

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/22/2006 10:23:26 PM   
DreamyDivaDom4u


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		Good evening Ladies and Gents,

As a novice Domina myself, I found this thread to particulary interesting.  I had originally thought that I had somehow failed in communicating my desires and expectations.  It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in shaking my head wondering...."what was he thinking?....."

On the other hand, I've enjoyed some nice conversations with boys who not only did not meet my current specifics but also did not contact me in a manner I expected.  So.....I guess I'd have to answer that although desired....its not really that "important" that they strictly adhere to my profile.

Always.....DreamyD

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 12:25:54 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		when someone requests to know either way i do oblige. they know that they aren't what we are seeking, however, that does imply that they've actually read what we want/expect/require. they were just taking a stab in the dark and you can't blame them for that.

it's the ones that blatantly don't read then when you reply they rip you a new one and when you ignore them they rip you a new one.

i don't feel guilty in one bit not responding. if someone cannot read and respond in kind then i can ignore in kind.



_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 12:34:39 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		oh god.. the novels are the WORST!

it's almost worse than a one liner.. because at least the one liner is only ONE FUCKING LINE.. some of these guys will take the time to write you ALL this crap that you simply did not request to know upon an initial contact (and more often than not it's a HUGE laundry list of their kinks or it's some typed out fantasy)..

for the sake of being prudent i won't post the email i got today, but it just made me sick. first off it was a big cuckolding fantasy email. then he includes all of these photos of like cuckolding scenes and pics of "big black cocks" (as he so lovingly put it).. and cum and just ugh.

i'm like you can take time to do ALL this shit but your stupid ass can't even read my profile enough to include the points i asked to be touched upon? i could have responded, but why bother?

after being ignored the first time and this was his second approach (which too shall be ignored).. then obviously he doesn't *get* it. so i'm wholeheartedly expecting some "fuck you" emailsfrom him  in the future. sometimes i will have people contact me a second time apologizing for not having adhered to my specifications to the letter and then i respond accordingly.

what gets me is when  someone DOES follow my protocol and i'm still not interested then they get pissed because "i followed your protocol, so why don't you want me?" like merely adhering to what i've said will like instantly get him into my stable?

i may reply to everyone that approaches me in a manner which i've specified, but damn it doesn't mean i HAVE to take them. they are the ones that get pissed when you reply back to say "thank you, but i will have to politely decline and wish you luck on your search"

next email back is like "fuck you bitch, i never wanted to serve your ass anyway"




_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 1:37:13 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think that we all get emails like that. I tend to get more when I forget that I have the collarme window open and leave my computer for a while. There tends to be a flood of the kinds of emails you describe when there aren't that many other Dommes online...especially between the hours of midnight and 4am on weekends after these worms have already struck out in the bars.

There are ways to send those that don't meet certain paramteres (age and orientation immediatly come to mind) that immediatly put them in your junkmail basket. I look at these when I'm bored for amusement. One liners abound laugh and move on.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 4:15:56 PM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

my profile is rather clear in what i expect.. and i know i expect a lot- but it's because i can. and if i male doesn't wish to serve in any of the capacities outlined in my profile.. well then good luck and godspeed. i say i dont want men UNDER a certain age, i say i don't want a cam slave.. i dont want a submissive pussy licker or submissive sex *partner*.. i dont want this or that.. yet they still approach.. OR they  approach in a manner not expressed in my profile which is rather clear & evident.


Yes, your profile is crystal clear - I've read it.
Imagine how much worse it would be had you not taken the time you obviously have to write such a detailed profile.

quote:

but a question to the Dominas..

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding? and why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?.


I'd say about 9 out of 10 messages I receive I delete on the spot.
I too have taken the time to clearly delineate who and what I am, what I offer, what I seek. I even made it easy for those who are not accustomed to the etiquette I require, by outlining clearly the approach I require.
I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I hadn't - but them I've been at this for 22 years and have a good idea of how online wankers operate.
Why do tyey do this? I suspect there a a number of reasons.
Passive-aggressive "sub" - hopes you'll reply by chastising him ( a "freebie")

Only sees submission through the end of his dick - loves the pics and hopes you'll take him on 'cause you're attractive.

Stupid - couldn't understand the language you used and in his wee little mind that doesn't matter. You're a Domme and he's a sub so it's worth a shot.

He's a collector - I now suspect there are many men who have no intention of ever providing service, but only collect messages from Dommes here. Material for them to read later and wank over.

I suspect there may be more reasons than I can think of now.


quote:

i know if i were sub, and interested in someone in particular, i would read their profile top to bottom and do WHATEVER their profile says for contact.

Ah, but you have a brain.

quote:

newsflash subbie bois..

read.. just read..

when someone DOES follow my protocol for contact to the LETTER..

i know i have a good one on my hands..




Yeah. At least there's potential.
What we offer is very unique and what we seek is equally unique. Worth muddling through the crap until the real gems present themselves.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 4:23:39 PM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

oh god.. the novels are the WORST!

it's almost worse than a one liner.. because at least the one liner is only ONE FUCKING LINE.. some of these guys will take the time to write you ALL this crap that you simply did not request to know upon an initial contact (and more often than not it's a HUGE laundry list of their kinks or it's some typed out fantasy)..

for the sake of being prudent i won't post the email i got today, but it just made me sick. first off it was a big cuckolding fantasy email. then he includes all of these photos of like cuckolding scenes and pics of "big black cocks" (as he so lovingly put it).. and cum and just ugh....


Thank goodness for the "block sender" option.:)
I use it often.
You know if you ignore the useless messages there are many who will keep writing - filling up your mailbox with trash.
When you take the time to even politely write "thanks, but no thanks" you either get pleas or verbal abuse.

BLOCK SENDER

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 6:35:11 PM   
thegreymistress


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		I myself used the "hidden  word" in my profile to see if they paid attention....I gave up on it, for the most part they do not care. I screen them the best I can since any other method I used only works less than 10 percent of the time. Good Luck  it is definatly a jungle out there

(in reply to MarinaBlack)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 7:59:01 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		MarinaBlack:
quote:

What we offer is very unique and what we seek is equally unique. Worth muddling through the crap until the real gems present themselves.


yeah, i feel the same way. i never get discouraged... shocked, amazed, appalled, freaked out, and flat out frightened sometimes-yes. but not discouraged..lol


_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to MarinaBlack)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/23/2006 8:24:31 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
By formalizing things so much, you run the risk of completely jettisoning intuitive, spontaneous, step-by-step connection building. Why does meeting a person have to simulate a job interview experience? I don't say this as a criticism, but just as an idea.

In your case, you have rather specific things in mind for your slaves/sub --- so the job interview way may be your only logical means.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/24/2006 1:54:36 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

By formalizing things so much, you run the risk of completely jettisoning intuitive, spontaneous, step-by-step connection building. Why does meeting a person have to simulate a job interview experience? I don't say this as a criticism, but just as an idea.


Excellent post. I used to think opposite of this, but you are on the money today.


 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/24/2006 4:55:20 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		The one handed bandit's strike again! lol

I too get females because it states this is also what i am looking for but quite honestly, based on past expereince they turn out to be men playing fantasy games. This is why I request pictures and always more then one. It it looks like its going somewhere I'll request picture of them doing something I suggest; standing in the snow, eating strawberry ice cream, etc.If they can't make the time nor can I.


_____________________________



(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 4/24/2006 4:57:50 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

how important is adherence to your profile?

Very Important.
No adhearence
No acknowledgement

(in reply to Goddesshesykhia)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 5/4/2006 3:11:20 PM   
Mlicious


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'd say most of the emails I get are from subs who do not read the profile. I just delete them. They behave like kids do before they learn how to read, they are flipping through looking at the pictures. When one looks good, they fire off an email. That kind of response informs me immediately that they are not truly subs, or at least not a considerate one, they are just out for what they want or can get. I dont feel bad at all about deleting the email.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how important is adherence to your profile? - 5/4/2006 4:23:29 PM   
WeeIttyBitty


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline 		If they arent who you're looking for, send back a brief (but somewhat nice) 'no thanks' note... Then block them...then you dont get the second attempts or the pleas... or the insults...

(in reply to Mlicious)
Profile   Post #: 40
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