quote:

i like the concept of training/ teaching/ being manipulated/ being initiated

it was a steep learning curb when i first started fucking
it took quite some practise to deep throat properly
it was interesting to learn the joys of ass fucking
and then there was that time when i was instructed to present myself properly...

and then of course there is the more mundane stuff like setting a table, ironing and cooking and doing the books...

ah well, you can't always have sex

quote:

To me what training signifies is that my Master shows me ways for me to please him more, he is a sadist, I am a masochist....he has built up my pain threshold so that it pleases him immensely. He tells me how much I mean to him and how happy I make him. Since I am first and foremost his sub/slave....that makes me extremely happy.

He has taught me what pleases him over a period of time...so I suppose that can be called 'training'. [/quote

femasoslave,

a perfect match indeed but did that training involve a reward/punishment dynamic or simply verbal expression of expectancies.

CP

(in reply to femasoslave)

quote:

I imagine that 'training' in its generic sense is divising and embedding certain behaviour aimed at having your needs met. Again....'needs' being generic...as her well-being is in your interests too.

A related question is: training to what extent? And I suppose that depends on the things you value in your life....e.g. you may place a peaceful existence above constant/regular 'training'.....and perhaps this would lead you to find a partner who has her life in order and all you need to do is shave off a few rough edges....as opposed to finding a partner who needs a lot of work. I would certainly put myself in the 'life's too short' category.....yes there is a need to shave off a few rough edges..always will be as presumably your needs are specific to you...but I ain't got the time/will/patience/inclination...to build someone from scratch.

In terms of 'breaking someone'.....this one always surprises me....presumably you've picked a partner because she can provide a lot of the things you value....why break that? I suppose the answer for some would be in order to establish your authority/power/hold over her.....then you'd have to argue that fear/anxiety are superior activating tools......in the long term....to authority through the positive factors you can bring to her life....

NG,

Congrats on a cogent analysis of the phenom. Indeed life is too short and I can certainly affirm that!

Thanks for that input.

CP

_____________________________

quote:

This is a very interesting topic. I had so much fun thinking about it, that I wanted to throw my two cents in.

I think when a lot of newbies seek out training, they really are looking for somebody to be their professor in BDSM 101. We spent so much of our lives learning in a controlled environment, that people's first instinct is to "go to school", so to speak. Training implies that their will be a structured framework for experiencing something new. Finding a person to serve for the first time without having any practical exposure is an intimidating prospect, but announcing "I need to be trained" makes the sub comfortable that they are not going to thrown out in the water without being taught to swim first. It is also easier to say "need training" than have an open dialog with your new Master/Dominant/partner about going slowly and respecting your limits. This being another skill gained with experience.

As for the training vs. learning word debate, I would tend agree that from the most basic prospective, training and learning are the same, but training just seems a better fit. One of those fun words that captures the magic of dominance and submission better. There is something in its connotation that speaks of power exchange and objectification. Kind of like how having intercourse and f***ing are the same, but can paint a very different mental picture.

This is my first time posting. I hope I get to know all the regulars around here!

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Training ??????????

Where did this term come from? For those that have a fair amount of time in this path we walk..were you ever trained?

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ORIGINAL: Bravado

If I have a schoolboy-style crush on porcelaine, does that make me seem like less of a man? If she was even half as beautiful and nearly as young as the model in her avatar, I'd be plotting a seduction on paper.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bravado

If I have a schoolboy-style crush on porcelaine, does that make me seem like less of a man? If she was even half as beautiful and nearly as young as the model in her avatar, I'd be plotting a seduction on paper.

Greetings Bravado,

It wouldn't diminish your manhood but it would call into question your certainty about my appearance and age. Thank you for the compliment.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

quote:

Greetings CelticPrince,

It's my belief that the term is bandied about for a myriad of reasons. It's application can run the gamut from valid situations that require some form of direct instruction and others that merely call attention an individual's desire to promote their expertise. Whether it can be substantiated is another story. While I have been made aware of the specific protocol and standards of behavior my previous partners found pleasing, I wouldn't place it in the same category as training. It's more akin to behavioral conditioning instead.

Nonetheless I have pursued formal training in different subject areas that I believed would heighten my intellect and provide an additional level of service to the dominant. On most occasions this took place outside of the framework of the relationship and reflects skills I pursued for self growth rather than in response to a directive from the other party. I draw a distinction between instruction received from reputable sources that are noted for their expertise in the subject matter and low key assistance that wouldn't take place in an official capacity. Both avenues have merit and should be included in a submissive's service journal (if applicable).

Namaste,

~porcelaine

porcelaine,

smiles, it certainly appears that you take your acquisition of knowledge to a much more formal level than most...certainly to be admired........I really like that concept of a service journal.

CP

(in reply to CelticPrince)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

porcelaine,

smiles, it certainly appears that you take your acquisition of knowledge to a much more formal level than most...certainly to be admired........I really like that concept of a service journal.

quote:

To me, "training" means teaching a boy to make me happy.
To some boys, "training" means me getting them off for free according to their tastes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

If I were to take a colt or grown horse that had NEVER been handled, one full of spirit, fire, intelligence and sensitivity, and just slam a saddle on his back without any training, reinforcement or conditioning whatsoever, then command him to go where I point him, do you think he would go?