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new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 4:56:43 PM   
Cathrope


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		hello, my name is a Adam aka Cathrope, and not to sound like I'm whinning, but I'm finidng it hard to find any subs to talk to in Minnesota, so I was wondering if someone could check my profile and see what I'm doing wrong.

Thank you

< Message edited by Cathrope -- 8/27/2010 4:57:18 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 5:00:41 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings and welcome. You should list yourself as a switch according to your profile. Since you have a sub side. It would be good also to tell us more about you. Whay shoulsda woman submit to you. What makes you such a good catch? That is my take on your profile?

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Cathrope)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 5:23:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Any Domme will stop reading at this paragraph: "What I'm looking for:

Some one to hang out with but is also interested in being a sub/slave."

And all s types will stop here: "My Sub side.

If i were to be a sub to you, I like being forced to wear nothing, but a diaper, being forced to use it, and be changed."

When you say "Some one to hang out with but is also interested in being a sub/slave.", that's not really clear.  It sounds like you want a girlfriend and some kink in the bedroom. 

Exactly what is it you want?




_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 7:52:39 PM   
Cathrope


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/28/2010
Status: offline 		thanks you for your help and I'll be working on my profile

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 7:57:08 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		The diaper thing is a specialized fetish.  Yes, I do realize the diapers only come into the picture if you are subbing.  However, a female submissive looking for a Dom might wander if you might order her to change your diaper.  In your profile you really don't say what you are seeking.  Do you want a LTR?  Do you want a more casual occasional meet up? 

Anyway, your local munch is a better place to find a partner than online.  At least you can be pretty sure those who you meet at a munch are into BDSM.  Google your state and the word munch.  You'll find several.  That way you can wow her with your personality. 

(in reply to Cathrope)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 9:56:10 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Most of the munches are in the Twin Cities but some meet on the weekends so it's not all that difficult to get to at least one. Getting involved in munches is a great way to get to know people. Volunteering to help with things works well too.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/27/2010 10:33:47 PM   
MistressTonya2u


Posts: 140
Joined: 12/20/2009
Status: offline 		you may also want to specify you are straight.

***I read your journal comment: GRRR!!!!

NO GUYS!!!! ***

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 12:22:15 AM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		Here's my two cents, although I'm afraid it may come off a bit snarky.  Bear with me...it's very late.
Women are different than men.  We react to things, especially written words, very differently.  Whereas a man may find a laundry list of kinks attractive and titillating in a profile, a woman (usually) will not.  Especially as a submissive woman, I am more interested in getting a sense of the person...are we compatible in other areas?  What does he like to do (vanilla hobbies), what's his view on submission, ownership, and what are his goals and dreams for how he would like a D/s relationship to be. 
"If you want to be my sub/slave you'll be forced to wear nothing but a collar, walk on all fours, eat out of a dog dish, be put into a kennel, and go on walks on a leash."....This just makes me go *ick*...and I am not adverse to any of this on occassion, although someone who wants this 24/7 as it sounds like you'd like just screams fantasy to me.  If instead you were to write: "I enjoy a variety of kinky pursuits.  Some of my favorites include puppyplay, some ageplay, and restraints, and I always find the sight of my beautiful girl crawling naked towards me to be highly stimulating" or some such thing, I'm sure you'd have a lot more takers.
Even though this is a kink site, you are still playing the dating game.  We are still women.  Impress us with your humor, your charm, your intellect, etc etc.  If we like that, then we might care to know about your kinks.  But broadsiding us with them just makes us roll our eyes.


_____________________________

Rose-y Pose-y, Puddin' Pie. Kissed Some Dommes and Made Them Cry.

(in reply to MistressTonya2u)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 12:29:38 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FetishRose

Here's my two cents, although I'm afraid it may come off a bit snarky. 


That wasn't that snarky... I informed someone they can't spell or punctuate in another thread!

Good advice in your post.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/28/2010 12:41:02 AM >

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 1:25:30 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline

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(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 2:01:17 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Read my profile. See if it gives you a few ideas. I've gotten some good responses from it. Your desires are different, but the conversational style ought to work a bit better for you than, as FetishRose put it, a laundry list.

Don't start your profile by negging yourself. I know you're going for 'sweet and humble', but it comes across as insecure and possibly insincere.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 11:40:32 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I apologise if I sound harsh however your profile reads as if you are someone who has watched way too many porno's.

You want a submissive who walks on all fours etc.  Do you have any idea what this would do to someone's back if they are doing this constantly? Are you expecting them to be on a leash and on all fours when you are out in public?  At the shops? going to the movies? In the car?

Diapers as Peppermint said are a fetish that appeals to a small group of people.  I do not think there would be a huge number of Domme's who would want to have a submissive wear and use a diaper continually.  Again, would you be wearing just a diaper and nothing else all the time?

Your profile is only talking about what you want - both as a dom or a sub. What about what you offer the other person as a dom or sub?  Why should they talk with you?  Talk about things about you that may interest others, not just the kinks that you want

all the best :)


_____________________________

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Godmother of the subbie mafia
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(in reply to Cathrope)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 12:32:25 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		After reading your profile I was left feeling confused as to what you wanted. Under 'actively seeking' you have listed submissive women, but in your profile text you have listed a paragraph about your sub side. Most submissive women I know don't want to be with another sub. Maybe you'd be better looking for a switch? I don't know.

Diapers appeal to a very select group of people, of course you should include that in your profile if it is important to you, but understand that there aren't as many women interested in that overall. I'd also agree with the others that said to try to nail down what you are looking for in a partner outside of the sex and fetishes. When I was looking and came across a profile that was strictly sex and/or fetishes I tossed it out asap. To me...life is more than just kink.

I do like that your interest list gives a well rounded view of you as a person.
One more thing, when you finalize what you want to say in the profile please check spelling, grammar, and capitalization. It matters. Good luck in your search.

(in reply to Cathrope)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 12:55:12 PM   
peacefulplace


Posts: 157
Joined: 8/22/2010
Status: offline 		As other posters have written, a laundry list of what you like for kink can qualify as a turn off. If you are a switch, it creates a double whammy laundry list of kink. Speaking as someone who used to be looking, both on and offline, if someone seemed to care only about kinky sex in their profiles, I moved on immediately.

When I describe myself to other people inside or outside the lifestyle, the first things I mention are my love of current events, literature, nature, and so on. Even though your profile lists some vanilla interests of yours, I would suggest replacing the lists of kinky interests with enthusiastic writing about why you like the other things you do. Most people cannot be kinky with someone they do not already like and respect as a regular ole person.

Finally, anything that reflects a sense of humor usually gets 'em every time!

_____________________________

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
~~Emma Goldman

One thing is clear to me: We, as human beings, must be willing to accept people who are different from ourselves.
~~Barbara Jordan

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) - 8/28/2010 4:38:57 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Dude, you don't list any human qualities that you seek or that you offer.  You can hire a hooker to trot around nekked on all fours or change your diaper.  Your profile sucks and has no depth, no humanity....  just a kink you want filled.  Go to a dungeon and find a bottom with common interests or pay a ProDomme to get all switchy with you.  You do not appear to be seeking a sub or a slave, those are relationship partner roles.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to peacefulplace)
Profile   Post #: 15
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