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disobey - 8/28/2010 9:14:48 AM   
RHbabygirl


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/31/2009
Status: offline 		What you do when your sub see another dom without your permissiom?
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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 9:32:51 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		see as in visit as just friends or see as in play-with?


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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 9:37:50 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		For me I would be punished as we have an agreement that I will ask for permission before catching up with any of my bdsm friends.  When he gave me this rule he  explained that it was extremely unlikely that he would ever say I couldn't see my friends but more that this was a reminder for me of our D/s relationship.

Note that I am only talking about seeing other bdsm'ers as in friends, not sceneing as we are monogamous


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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 10:08:08 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		That's never a concern in our relationship, because I don't play with people with out Daddies permission, and even if it was to see them as friends, Daddy allows me to speak to and visit whomever I want.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 10:30:48 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If my sub were to do that, it would indicate that she no longer respected me. I might punish her but more likely would just release her.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 10:43:34 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		. . .  if she is dating other people without permission, I think it would be delusional think she was "my" sub.   She is community property.  I was silly enough to fuck her and think she was mine. 


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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 11:19:03 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think we would be finished, not because I was seeing someone else but because I lied.

Being I'm completely monogamous, the likelihood of this would be impossible. I can't even bring myself to even think of such an idea let alone actually doing it.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 11:38:35 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think we would be finished, not because I was seeing someone else but because I lied.

Being I'm completely monogamous, the likelihood of this would be impossible. I can't even bring myself to even think of such an idea let alone actually doing it.

She didn't say she lied about seeing the other guy, just that she did it w/o permission.
I knew a sub once that thought "it is easier to get forgiveness than permission" . . . she was very wrong.


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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 11:39:00 AM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RHbabygirl

What you do when your sub see another dom without your permissiom?


What do you mean see another dom? Are we talking a casual cup of coffee or playing?

I would not be with someone who tried to keep me from my friends, even those involved in the lifestyle.

Now if I were to play with someone else without my owners permission that is lying and cheating both of which would mean our relationship were over.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 11:44:22 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think we would be finished, not because I was seeing someone else but because I lied.

Being I'm completely monogamous, the likelihood of this would be impossible. I can't even bring myself to even think of such an idea let alone actually doing it.

She didn't say she lied about seeing the other guy, just that she did it w/o permission.
I knew a sub once that thought "it is easier to get forgiveness than permission" . . . she was very wrong.


I thought the question was hypothetical.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 12:13:08 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think we would be finished, not because I was seeing someone else but because I lied.

Being I'm completely monogamous, the likelihood of this would be impossible. I can't even bring myself to even think of such an idea let alone actually doing it.

She didn't say she lied about seeing the other guy, just that she did it w/o permission.
I knew a sub once that thought "it is easier to get forgiveness than permission" . . . she was very wrong.



Without permission is still lying to me.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 12:21:29 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		It's a sure bet that I would immediately be dumped.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 12:22:49 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		This is one way of him releasing himself, since our dynamic depends on his willing obedience. I'd move on.

I'm pretty easy to get along with and have mutual self-actualization and fulfillment as the main goal of my D/s relationship. So if my slaveboy had discussed it in advance with me, he might have gotten my permission. If he didn't, there was a reason why, that centered around his best interests. So that means we'd have to have had a core disagreement about what was best for him, and he deferred to his own best judgement instead of mine. Usually a pattern of disobedience over time would be cause for release, but this is different. Instead its one incident of disobedience that is basically telling me that he has released himself. So what's left for me to do? He's released himself. I move on.

I cannot make someone be my willingly obedient slave. He's got to actually be obedient, of his own volition. If he can't, he doesn't fit my needs.

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 12:42:29 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RHbabygirl

What you do when your sub see another dom without your permissiom?


In the case of my Master, He has been very clear on this: if I want to see any BDSM friends, I ask. If I were to see another Dom without permission he would see it as a breach of trust and He would release me.

Fairly early in the relationship, I made a mistake about that regarding his preferences and he clarified that. I will not repeat the mistake.

I won't get a second second chance.

I don't need to see another dom.

If this is not hypothetical, why would you, provided he isn't just a long time friend?



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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 1:47:00 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Sub here. If I decided to see another Dom (other than platonic friends) without getting permission, the relationship would already be over because it would mean that I no longer respected him. As I am monogamous, it wouldn't happen anyway. Also, I'm with littlewonder. To me, going behind someone's back in a relationship (ie. seeing someone else without discussing it/ getting permission) is lying, and that is a deal breaker for me. 

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 1:59:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In clip's case, doing so means that he has released himself and I am no longer his Mistress.  It's that simple.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 8/28/2010 2:00:07 PM >

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 2:14:29 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RHbabygirl

What you do when your sub see another dom without your permissiom?


When there is a mutual agreement in place between myself & a lady to not engage in any sexual activity with anyone other than one another & if she were to violate this agreement by way of engaging sexually with another then I would unquestionably fully reject her from remaining in my life & household. I would indeed do so without a possibility for her to ever reconnect with myself on any level, period. End of story!

I do not ever object to maintaining friendship(s) with others as long as the agreement(s) in place are honored in a manner that are reflective of trustworthiness. If not then naturally a sincere discussion would ensue.

Basically the premise from which I operate is a mutual bond of trust. Without trust there is not a reasonable meaning present that would allow another to engage with myself on any level, let alone a sexually intimate level that would be violated by way of abusing the trust offered. Violating trust leads to lack of respect.

Therefore without trust & respect there is no reason to engage with someone who enters into an agreement based on mutual trust and respect & then unilaterally decides to violate such a bond. Consequences for such an act of betrayal will surely burn like a fire that is inextinguishable at the center and circumference of any bond of trust.

Take care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 8/28/2010 2:19:19 PM >

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 2:28:58 PM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		agrees with LadyPact

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 2:37:06 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

This is one way of him releasing himself, since our dynamic depends on his willing obedience. I'd move on.
-*-*-
I cannot make someone be my willingly obedient slave. He's got to actually be obedient, of his own volition. If he can't, he doesn't fit my needs.


THIS. Plus what LP and Zevar said, and there's some wisdom from the girlies too *nod nod nod*..

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RE: disobey - 8/28/2010 4:02:48 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RHbabygirl

What you do when your sub see another dom without your permissiom?


I don't compete.

If she needs to see someone else, she'll be doing it 24/7 as far as I'm concerned....

Focus.

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