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submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 6:46:51 PM   
sensualkiten


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/30/2005
Status: offline 		I am wondering after reading some of the posts on here if there are subs out there like me. I shall have to ask at tomorrows Masters and slaves meeting (MAST)

I desire to serve and obey but that doesnt mean i always succeed. And part of what i need in a Dominant is firm guidance. I need a bit of the Guardian in my Dom. I need some pushing to eat right and things. I can have a very innocent child like view of things. I often feel better when I am watched over by a protective guiding male figure. Part of this is becuase of how i view the world and part of this is becuase i can be a happy little headstrong brat.  i dont cuss people out but i can get snippy. i dont vandalize things but i can sneak candy lol i look at a Dom as the person i can look up to and the person i can count on to help me be the best i can be.

I have an inner honor code and i tell on myself if i do something wrong too. So i dont really play catch me if you can games. I look at the Dom as someone who is protecting me not someone i have to thwart.

Part of me is afraid that everyone on this board is going to intstantly stand up and say if you dont do what your Dominiant tells you all the time you are not submissive. i fear the prevailing opinion will be that anyone who has a brat side is not submissive.LOL but i am daring to post this anyway. besides i do not require anyones opinion to make me submissive. i am just curious. i am searching for myself..

The good side of me is i have served til my heart, body, brain, et al have ached. and i take a mean spanking. and i am passionate about making others happy. :)

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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 7:33:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		This is a good question... I asked something similar on another thread and only got one reply....

Who decides a sub is a sub, or just a bottom?
Is there some test we have to pass?
Or does a sub need to serve a Master/Dom in a 24-7 TPE for a period of time before she can be "deemed" a sub?

I am new to the boards here, and as I stated on another thread I have been trying to be a sub in most of my vanilla relationships without even realizing I was doing it... Can't this be an innate thing? Or do we have to be trained to be a sub? Really curious to know

On Edit, I know my own opinion, I just wanted to hear what the dominants here thought about the question

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/21/2006 7:34:43 PM >

(in reply to sensualkiten)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 7:43:36 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		MasT is in interesting group, I have attended more than few meetings in the bay area.  What I most enjoyed were seeing the various gay relationships as they were often more extreme and varied than us straights.

That said, there are all sorts of submissives and don't get hung up on labels.  Besides, in my experience, the most interesting submissives were always the ones that also required the most work.  But take my thoughts with a grain of salt cause don't forget, I am a pervert.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 7:53:46 PM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		Humanity defies perfection. Don;t expect to be.

The question to ask may well be-"Is what I offer his desire?"

And that is for him to decide,not you.

(in reply to sensualkiten)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 8:05:23 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I wrote an extensive essay about my theory of d/s m/s dynamics, it’s in my profile in my journal and it covers much of what is in your question.


(in reply to sensualkiten)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 8:55:39 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I find this quite helpful.

http://www.westom.com/leather/nine_degrees_of_submission.htm

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 9:36:26 PM   
sensualkiten


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/30/2005
Status: offline 		i have read the nine degrees of submission and i had to make up my own :) its hard to truely fit solely in any one degree.

and julieoceania i honestly believe that it is very possible to be innately sumissive. i had those leanings very strongly as a young child. i think "training" just hones the skills and whets the desires in one that is innately submissive and in one who is not submissive it would fall upon deaf ears.


(in reply to feastie)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 9:48:22 PM   
VikingHouse


Posts: 57
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		The very complexities that affects any interactions between two or more will present its own dynamic. There are girls that have an almost measureable example of inherent submissiveness, don't doubt it, I can and will warrant that it's there.
   Honest communications and explorations of one another will eventually give you enough information as to whether there's a future together.
  Sorry, But, Blue is begging for her dinner.
Gentry

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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 9:53:22 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		About the brat in you? I do not know many people that do not have that brat side...lol.

(in reply to VikingHouse)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 10:01:08 PM   
slaveofdarkhold


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		I understand what you're saying and my feelings are quite similar. I consider myself deeply submissive, but by no means perfect. I want to strive to be perfect for my Master, but that takes two people- I need his guidance, protection, support and occassionally a firm hand because like most people I sometimes feel sulky or cranky or just have a lack of willpower. My Master and I have to work together to overcome it, but it doesn't make me any less submissive, or my desire to serve any less valid or deep.

(in reply to sensualkiten)
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RE: submissive or not? - 4/21/2006 10:50:42 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		It should matter to you and who your involved with. I have yet to see the Great Golden Guide of D/s. What I think is submissive you may not, what you think as dominant I may not. We can look at the generalized idea and roughly gauge ourselves into a category. However, ultimately you are going to identify with what “feels” right for you. I wouldn’t fear others opinions, only your lifestyle circle understand where you’re truly coming from anyway. On that I shall say I am Wulfchyd 9072.0009111293 Dom on the GGG of D/s scale.


Smiling most mischievously
Loki

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to slaveofdarkhold)
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