RE: Trying to learn

RE: Trying to learn (Full Version)

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tinariky -> RE: Trying to learn (9/1/2010 2:21:04 PM)
hi i'm male sub..don't lucky yet to ba salve...and 've a little quesiton it's about orgasm control...i precisely talk about myself..i've the problem of fast cumming..i wonder if a Domme could control totally that...i mean She telles me when or not i've to cum...i think that's really difficult...and You know that's the best thing i would do in this life if i arrive to... tarik

Kicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/1/2010 3:11:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Another thing that hasn't been mentioned is the small stuff-pinch his bum when he walks past you (not for any reason-just because you can. If you feel like doing it hard then go for it!), stop him for a quick (or not so quick) kiss (or bite) whenever you fancy one, 'accidentally' drop things and tell him to pick them up so you can watch him bend over... Not every scene has to last for ages-ten seconds or so can also be hot! [:D] He may not find the bum pinching very dominant, since I've been doing that the entire time we've been together [:D] Although, maybe deep down he does think/feel that and I've never known haha! I never thought of those things being dominant, but now I CAN see there is sort of in control sense to it, and definitely like all of the above as well.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/2/2010 6:22:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kicia He may not find the bum pinching very dominant, since I've been doing that the entire time we've been together [:D] Although, maybe deep down he does think/feel that and I've never known haha! I never thought of those things being dominant, but now I CAN see there is sort of in control sense to it, and definitely like all of the above as well. Haha! Well trade the pinch for a smack or a good long grope then-this stuff's all pretty flexible [;)]

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/2/2010 8:28:37 AM)
Kicia, Do you think you could report back after a while, to let us know how you're both getting on?

Kicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 2:50:46 PM)
Earlier this week I did the shower thing - made him bathe me, wash my hair, and condition it, while I teased with a grope here and there. Wasn't much that evening as it was late and we had work in the AM, so rewards came easily though it was also definitely for my please. Also learning I dont have to do much for it to be enjoyed. The last 2 evenings he's cooked dinner while I relax and wait for him to bring it to me. I will check back in as well to let everyone know how things are going. I told him to make a name if he'd like, so he can leave thread feedback as well.

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 3:28:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kicia My husband wants me to be more dominant than I am (I've always been much more of a submissive type, I guess you'd say). I like being nice and loving rather than forceful and dominating and tend to laugh at myself while trying to act that way because I feel so different. I've tried things here and there but feel as though they're not adequate (he says as long as I put forth an effort he is happy with knowing I'm trying), and he's given me advice as well on what to do yet prefers if I come up with something totally different so that he's not expecting it. The biggest issue I have is finding ways to get myself more into it and doing things that I am comfortable with as well. Was hoping to get some beginner ideas that I can sort through and find what I may enjoy doing. Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them. I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate. Focus.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 3:28:30 PM)
Sounds good. But the thing is, are you enjoying it? 'Cos that's the fundamental thing. How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . . .

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 3:29:43 PM)
Heh. Sometimes, I love it when two posts cross.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 4:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them. I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate. Focus. Dear god, lighten up, Focus! Did you read the rest of the thread? Did you see her responses, how she's getting into it? Give the poor woman a chance before you rain all over her parade and start calling her partner selfish.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 4:50:36 PM)
I thought that was just Focus doing his cheerful-Aussie-blunt thing, myself, VC . . . .

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 5:00:16 PM)
That's not cheerful Aussie blunt, that's downright insulting. Would he say the same thing if it were him introducing a vanilla sub to kink? I doubt it. Why is it not ok for a sub to bring up the idea? Why is it automatically selfish?

MrKicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 5:44:30 PM)
Thanks everyone for the warm responses. They have been extremely helpful and fun.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 5:45:44 PM)
Lol I LOVE your username! Glad you two have enjoyed [:D]

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 5:46:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious That's not cheerful Aussie blunt, that's downright insulting. Would he say the same thing if it were him introducing a vanilla sub to kink? I doubt it. Why is it not ok for a sub to bring up the idea? Why is it automatically selfish? Er . . . I don't know. But if he was being cheerfully-Aussie-blunt, I'd expect him to confirm it. No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea. I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. However, however . . . (and Focus's comment aside) I think that in vanilla partnerships it is possible for the woman to be more automatically tuned into pleasing her male partner than either said partner - or she herself - always realises. It could take a bit of practice to inject that D/s element . . . .

MrKicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 6:01:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Kicia My husband wants me to be more dominant than I am (I've always been much more of a submissive type, I guess you'd say). I like being nice and loving rather than forceful and dominating and tend to laugh at myself while trying to act that way because I feel so different. I've tried things here and there but feel as though they're not adequate (he says as long as I put forth an effort he is happy with knowing I'm trying), and he's given me advice as well on what to do yet prefers if I come up with something totally different so that he's not expecting it. The biggest issue I have is finding ways to get myself more into it and doing things that I am comfortable with as well. Was hoping to get some beginner ideas that I can sort through and find what I may enjoy doing. Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them. I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate. Focus. I agree, it would be selfish of me to force her to dominate me. Honestly Im not trying to force her. Im just as new to this as she is, Im only asking that she try. If it turns out that its something she simply can not do, then so be it, I will just need to curb my wants. We have gotten farther than this before, but I could tell she wasnt really into the role. I found myself topping from the bottom, and it did feel like I was forcing this on her. So I brought up that we should slow down and maybe seek advice, and see if a more slow approach would help. The simplest stuff is more pleasurable when she is "into" it then the most hardcore fantasy that she isnt into. I love my wife, she can be the most creative and in depth person I know, as long as she is enjoying what she is doing. And I hope, not force, hope that this is something, over time that she can slip into. My marriage comes before any femdom fantasy. My wife does go above and beyond all other aspects of our sex life and I have no complaints. My want for femdom is my affliction, not her fault.

MrKicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 6:04:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Lol I LOVE your username! Glad you two have enjoyed [:D] Thank you. I thought it was fitting.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 6:33:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrKicia. The simplest stuff is more pleasurable when she is "into" it then the most hardcore fantasy that she isnt into. That strikes a chord for me. I have a very good feeling about you and Mrs Kicia. [;)]

Twoshoes -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 6:34:26 PM)
MrKicia already knows how to suck up and sound sweet. That's the sure road to success for male subs, I think...

Kicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/3/2010 6:46:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Sounds good. But the thing is, are you enjoying it? 'Cos that's the fundamental thing. How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . . . I definitely LOVE being bathed, the feeling of someone else massaging my scalp and body while I dont have to do anything but enjoy it is amazing and I never thought of it too much as a dominant thing before so I'm glad it can be turned into one. I also must admit I've been enjoying letting him cook the meals those 2 nights while I just sat there and was served dinner, even though I've always done it myself in the past and just requested help on occasion. I think about the selfishness I need to work on on and off, and it seems to be getting easier to see myself doing it without feeling strange about it.

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:25:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them. I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate. Focus. Dear god, lighten up, Focus! Did you read the rest of the thread? Did you see her responses, how she's getting into it? Give the poor woman a chance before you rain all over her parade and start calling her partner selfish. I certainly read the part in her original OP where she describes herself as being submissive. And I ask myself would a fem/sub tend to go the extra mile to please her man, even if it means sacrificing her own wants and needs...? And you're wrong; I wasn't raining on "her parade" at all. I'm not the least bit surprised that she's giving it a go - wanting to please is among the most admirable and desirable of submissive qualities. Focus.

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