RE: Trying to learn

RE: Trying to learn (Full Version)

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Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:40:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea. I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. PeonForHer - post #27: "How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . " That's quite a U-turn.... [:-] Focus.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:55:55 AM)
I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner.

MrKicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:32:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea. I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. PeonForHer - post #27: "How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . " That's quite a U-turn.... [:-] Focus. Might want to read that one again. Could you please not be so negative in this thread?

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:34:30 AM)
Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy. I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC.

DarkSteven -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:42:26 AM)
The two of you are engaged?!?!??! [sm=jaw.gif]

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:46:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy. I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC. The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs> Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:58:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner. Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...? Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish. In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same. And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me. You really wanna keep this dance going? Focus.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 5:13:32 AM)
In post #27 he was referencing this: quote: ORIGINAL: Ladynslave Basically, to get to where my slave and I are now, I had to get comfortable with being more selfish. And this: quote: ORIGINAL: Kicia I have the "need to get used to being more selfish" problem, for sure, and will have to get past that as well. He wasn't agreeing with you at all, nor being inconsistent, you're just failing at reading comprehension.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 6:06:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner. Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...? Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish. In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same. And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me. You really wanna keep this dance going? Focus. I don't know how cute you and I would look dancing together. Still, maybe moonlight, a beach, some sweet music . . . [;)] Yes, you were very clear in your post No 26 about who you were calling selfish. However, I didn't see your post No 26 until I'd after I'd posted my own post, No 27. That's what I meant about our posts crossing - I found it funny because you and I contradicted one another with regard to that point of selfishness without knowing what the other had said. You were saying that the OP's sub was selfish; I was encouraging the OP herself to be more selfish.

PeonForHer -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 6:08:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious In post #27 he was referencing this: quote: ORIGINAL: Ladynslave Basically, to get to where my slave and I are now, I had to get comfortable with being more selfish. And this: quote: ORIGINAL: Kicia I have the "need to get used to being more selfish" problem, for sure, and will have to get past that as well. He wasn't agreeing with you at all, nor being inconsistent, you're just failing at reading comprehension. First Akasha, then Focus. Neither's a dimwit. I think I might be writing in ancient Mongolian in this thread without realising, VC. [:(]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 9:49:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy. I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC. The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs> Focus. Focus is my evil guy twin!! Look at that face!!

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:23:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner. Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...? Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish. In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same. And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me. You really wanna keep this dance going? Focus. I don't know how cute you and I would look dancing together. Still, maybe moonlight, a beach, some sweet music . . . [;)] Yes, you were very clear in your post No 26 about who you were calling selfish. However, I didn't see your post No 26 until I'd after I'd posted my own post, No 27. That's what I meant about our posts crossing - I found it funny because you and I contradicted one another with regard to that point of selfishness without knowing what the other had said. You were saying that the OP's sub was selfish; I was encouraging the OP herself to be more selfish. To write "posts crossing" is open to interpretation. IE, they can merge as much as clash. And when your post (#27) came pretty much on top of mine, I thought you were joking along the lines of minds thinking alike. Esp since your "selfishness" comment had almost no real context within that specific post.... And..., errrrm..., I'm really hoping someone (anyone) is about to knock on my door - I better go check. Shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get back here.... [8\|] Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:28:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy. I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC. The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs> Focus. Focus is my evil guy twin!! Look at that face!! And yet I don't get to look at yours.... But I'm really, really, REALLY hoping we're not identical twins. Gotta go - think I left the neighbour standing at the door (hopefully).... Focus.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 3:41:22 PM)
Go look at my profile, Focus, I have my face on there. And NO thank heavens we are only very very similar in temperament! [:D]

Dnomyar -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 4:09:25 PM)
tickels LH to see what her temperment is. Your to cute to have a temperment.

Kicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 8:38:26 PM)
Today I played around a bit with making him clean the house up for a party tomorrow, while I watched tv, played with the cats, and surfed the internet - normally I'd be equally cleaning. I also just had him get up and take care of some laundry, make the bed, and bring me heated up leftovers from our dinner. I've been going in and out of it, not staying in any "role" the entire day. He told me a few minutes ago that he's enjoyed it today, which is encouraging and talking about it positively in off-time has made me feel like it isn't inadequate, either. Some things I didn't even realize fit right in without me trying. I've gotten more comfortable so far and am so grateful to all the positive, encouraging responses on here. :)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 8:58:08 PM)
I'm glad things are going well! It's good to be a princess. :)

MrKicia -> RE: Trying to learn (9/4/2010 9:34:02 PM)
I have not pestered her at all or asked for anything in return. I think she is doing a great job, and i have no complaints. I have been about half cocked all day today from all of the demands. [:D]

Ladynslave -> RE: Trying to learn (9/5/2010 4:51:32 PM)
Glad the million and one simple things are working out well for the two of you. I also slip in and out of the Domme role during a typical day, Kicia. I was his girlfriend before I was his Domme and it was a role I enjoyed as well. Don't worry too much about it, it's normal. It comes in really handy once in a while when you are having a bad day and need him to be the strong one for a few hours.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Trying to learn (9/6/2010 11:01:51 PM)
Personally, I started with sessions of domination lasting for a given amount of time, and then talking them over afterwards. I really hate feeling awkward and unprepared, and so making sure that didn't happen was a goal for me, as was my getting what I wanted out of it. But I also wanted my partner to get SOMETHING out of it that he wanted, because I know from experience that if people don't, they won't play with you any more. So I found out what elements of it really, really turned his crank. Sometimes it was things I hadn't expected...once it was the way my breasts felt against his back. Well, I've got big boobs, if I'm going to reach around from behind someone to do things to their nipples, I'm going to have my boobs up against his back. That's simple reality. But finding that out meant that I could put that into my calculations of what I'm doing, and made me melt his brain down better. (I REALLY love melting brains down.) I would also encourage you to think about what makes you feel like the Woman In Charge. It may not be a corset and heels. It may not be him polishing your toenails. Me, I love reading a book with my feet up, looking into the kitchen, and seeing a naked sub washing the dishes. Sometimes I get up and go pinch his butt. Often I just really enjoy the view. I learned that I have to make comments and let him know I'm enjoying looking, though.

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