Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Trying to learn


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Trying to learn Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Trying to learn - 9/1/2010 2:21:04 PM   
tinariky


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/25/2009
Status: offline 		hi
i'm male sub..don't lucky yet to ba salve...and 've a little quesiton
it's about orgasm control...i precisely talk about myself..i've the problem of fast cumming..i wonder if a Domme could control totally that...i mean She telles me when or not i've to cum...i think that's really difficult...and You know that's the best thing i would do in this life if i arrive to...
tarik

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Trying to learn - 9/1/2010 3:11:06 PM   
Kicia


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Another thing that hasn't been mentioned is the *small* stuff-pinch his bum when he walks past you (not for any reason-just because you can. If you feel like doing it hard then go for it!), stop him for a quick (or not so quick) kiss (or bite) whenever *you* fancy one, 'accidentally' drop things and tell him to pick them up so you can watch him bend over...

Not every scene has to last for ages-ten seconds or so can also be hot!


He may not find the bum pinching very dominant, since I've been doing that the entire time we've been together Although, maybe deep down he does think/feel that and I've never known haha! I never thought of those things being dominant, but now I CAN see there is sort of in control sense to it, and definitely like all of the above as well.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Trying to learn - 9/2/2010 6:22:11 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kicia

He may not find the bum pinching very dominant, since I've been doing that the entire time we've been together Although, maybe deep down he does think/feel that and I've never known haha! I never thought of those things being dominant, but now I CAN see there is sort of in control sense to it, and definitely like all of the above as well.

Haha! Well trade the pinch for a smack or a good long grope then-this stuff's all pretty flexible

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Kicia)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Trying to learn - 9/2/2010 8:28:37 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Kicia,

Do you think you could report back after a while, to let us know how you're both getting on?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Kicia)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 2:50:46 PM   
Kicia


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2010
Status: offline 		Earlier this week I did the shower thing - made him bathe me, wash my hair, and condition it, while I teased with a grope here and there. Wasn't much that evening as it was late and we had work in the AM, so rewards came easily though it was also definitely for my please. Also learning I dont have to do much for it to be enjoyed. The last 2 evenings he's cooked dinner while I relax and wait for him to bring it to me. I will check back in as well  to let everyone know how things are going. I told him to make a name if he'd like, so he can leave thread feedback as well.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 3:28:01 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kicia

My husband wants me to be more dominant than I am (I've always been much more of a submissive type, I guess you'd say). I like being nice and loving rather than forceful and dominating and tend to laugh at myself while trying to act that way because I feel so different. I've tried things here and there but feel as though they're not adequate (he says as long as I put forth an effort he is happy with knowing I'm trying), and he's given me advice as well on what to do yet prefers if I come up with something totally different so that he's not expecting it. The biggest issue I have is finding ways to get myself more into it and doing things that I am comfortable with as well. Was hoping to get some beginner ideas that I can sort through and find what I may enjoy doing.



Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them.

I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate.

Focus.



_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Kicia)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 3:28:30 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Sounds good.  But the thing is, are you enjoying it?  'Cos that's the fundamental thing.  How's the selfishness coming along?  I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Kicia)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 3:29:43 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Heh.  Sometimes, I love it when two posts cross.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 4:29:01 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them.

I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate.

Focus.

Dear god, lighten up, Focus! Did you read the rest of the thread? Did you see her responses, how she's getting into it? Give the poor woman a chance before you rain all over her parade and start calling her partner selfish.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 4:50:36 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I thought that was just Focus doing his cheerful-Aussie-blunt thing, myself, VC . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 5:00:16 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		That's not cheerful Aussie blunt, that's downright insulting.

Would he say the same thing if it were him introducing a vanilla sub to kink? I doubt it.

Why is it not ok for a sub to bring up the idea? Why is it automatically selfish?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 5:44:30 PM   
MrKicia


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/3/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for the warm responses.  They have been extremely helpful and fun.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 5:45:44 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Lol I LOVE your username! Glad you two have enjoyed

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to MrKicia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 5:46:14 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

That's not cheerful Aussie blunt, that's downright insulting.

Would he say the same thing if it were him introducing a vanilla sub to kink? I doubt it.

Why is it not ok for a sub to bring up the idea? Why is it automatically selfish?


Er . . . I don't know.  But if he was being cheerfully-Aussie-blunt, I'd expect him to confirm it.

No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea.  I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. 

However, however . . .  (and Focus's comment aside) I think that in vanilla partnerships it is possible for the woman to be more automatically tuned into pleasing her male partner than either said partner - or she herself - always realises.  It could take a bit of practice to inject that D/s element . . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 6:01:01 PM   
MrKicia


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kicia

My husband wants me to be more dominant than I am (I've always been much more of a submissive type, I guess you'd say). I like being nice and loving rather than forceful and dominating and tend to laugh at myself while trying to act that way because I feel so different. I've tried things here and there but feel as though they're not adequate (he says as long as I put forth an effort he is happy with knowing I'm trying), and he's given me advice as well on what to do yet prefers if I come up with something totally different so that he's not expecting it. The biggest issue I have is finding ways to get myself more into it and doing things that I am comfortable with as well. Was hoping to get some beginner ideas that I can sort through and find what I may enjoy doing.



Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them.

I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate.

Focus.




I agree, it would be selfish of me to force her to dominate me.  Honestly Im not trying to force her.  Im just as new to this as she is, Im only asking that she try.  If it turns out that its something she simply can not do, then so be it, I will just need to curb my wants.

We have gotten farther than this before, but I could tell she wasnt really into the role.  I found myself topping from the bottom, and it did feel like I was forcing this on her.  So I brought up that we should slow down and maybe seek advice, and see if a more slow approach would help.  The simplest stuff is more pleasurable when she is "into" it then the most hardcore fantasy that she isnt into.

I love my wife, she can be the most creative and in depth person I know, as long as she is enjoying what she is doing.   And I hope, not force, hope that this is something, over time that she can slip into.

My marriage comes before any femdom fantasy.  My wife does go above and beyond all other aspects of our sex life and I have no complaints.  My want for femdom is my affliction, not her fault.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 6:04:02 PM   
MrKicia


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Lol I LOVE your username! Glad you two have enjoyed


Thank you.  I thought it was fitting.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 6:33:15 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKicia.
The simplest stuff is more pleasurable when she is "into" it then the most hardcore fantasy that she isnt into.


That strikes a chord for me.  I have a very good feeling about you and Mrs Kicia. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to MrKicia)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 6:34:26 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		MrKicia already knows how to suck up and sound sweet.

That's the sure road to success for male subs, I think...

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Trying to learn - 9/3/2010 6:46:14 PM   
Kicia


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Sounds good.  But the thing is, are you enjoying it?  'Cos that's the fundamental thing.  How's the selfishness coming along?  I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . . .


I definitely LOVE being bathed, the feeling of someone else massaging my scalp and body while I dont have to do anything but enjoy it is amazing and I never thought of it too much as a dominant thing before so I'm glad it can be turned into one. I also must admit I've been enjoying letting him cook the meals those 2 nights while I just sat there and was served dinner, even though I've always done it myself in the past and just requested help on occasion. I think about the selfishness I need to work on on and off, and it seems to be getting easier to see myself doing it without feeling strange about it.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:25:24 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Welcome to the world of the selfish male submissive who'll try just about anything to convince or coerce a woman to dominate them.

I'm sure we all understand you wanting to please your man but don't be forced into being someone you're not, either - you'll suffocate.

Focus.

Dear god, lighten up, Focus! Did you read the rest of the thread? Did you see her responses, how she's getting into it? Give the poor woman a chance before you rain all over her parade and start calling her partner selfish.



I certainly read the part in her original OP where she describes herself as being submissive. And I ask myself would a fem/sub tend to go the extra mile to please her man, even if it means sacrificing her own wants and needs...?

And you're wrong; I wasn't raining on "her parade" at all. I'm not the least bit surprised that she's giving it a go - wanting to please is among the most admirable and desirable of submissive qualities.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Trying to learn Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094