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RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:40:00 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea.  I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. 


PeonForHer - post #27:

"How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . "

That's quite a U-turn....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:55:55 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner.

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(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:32:17 AM   
MrKicia


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

No, of course it's not automatically selfish for a sub to bring up the idea.  I get no sense of such selfishness in the OP's partner, either. 


PeonForHer - post #27:

"How's the selfishness coming along? I hope you're nurturing it nicely . . "

That's quite a U-turn....

Focus.


Might want to read that one again. 

Could you please not be so negative in this thread? 


< Message edited by MrKicia -- 9/4/2010 4:34:10 AM >

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:34:30 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy.

I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC.

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(in reply to MrKicia)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:42:26 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The two of you are engaged?!?!??!  

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:46:02 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy.

I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC.



The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:58:11 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner.



Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...?

Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish.

In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same.

And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me.

You really wanna keep this dance going?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 5:13:32 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		In post #27 he was referencing this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

Basically, to get to where my slave and I are now, I had to get comfortable with being more selfish. 


And this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kicia

I have the "need to get used to being more selfish" problem, for sure, and will have to get past that as well.


He wasn't agreeing with you at all, nor being inconsistent, you're just failing at reading comprehension.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 6:06:06 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner.



Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...?

Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish.

In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same.

And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me.

You really wanna keep this dance going?

Focus.


I don't know how cute you and I would look dancing together.  Still, maybe moonlight, a beach, some sweet music . . .

Yes, you were very clear in your post No 26 about who you were calling selfish.  However, I didn't see your post No 26 until I'd after I'd posted my own post, No 27.   That's what I meant about our posts crossing - I found it funny because you and I contradicted one another with regard to that point of selfishness without knowing what the other had said.  You were saying that the OP's sub was selfish; I was encouraging the OP herself to be more selfish.



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(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 6:08:43 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

In post #27 he was referencing this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

Basically, to get to where my slave and I are now, I had to get comfortable with being more selfish. 


And this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kicia

I have the "need to get used to being more selfish" problem, for sure, and will have to get past that as well.


He wasn't agreeing with you at all, nor being inconsistent, you're just failing at reading comprehension.


First Akasha, then Focus.  Neither's a dimwit.  I think I might be writing in ancient Mongolian in this thread without realising, VC. 

_____________________________

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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 9:49:54 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy.

I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC.



The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs>

Focus.



Focus is my evil guy twin!! Look at that face!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:23:31 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I was asking the OP if she'd been able to be more selfish, not her partner.



Whoa, you were asking the OP how she was nurturing her own selfishness...?

Let's see, I was pretty clear in post #26 about who I was calling selfish.

In post #27, it was pretty clear (IMO) you said much the same.

And in post #28, you joked how you love it when (like) posts cross - which confirms you did have much the same thoughts as me.

You really wanna keep this dance going?

Focus.


I don't know how cute you and I would look dancing together.  Still, maybe moonlight, a beach, some sweet music . . .

Yes, you were very clear in your post No 26 about who you were calling selfish.  However, I didn't see your post No 26 until I'd after I'd posted my own post, No 27.   That's what I meant about our posts crossing - I found it funny because you and I contradicted one another with regard to that point of selfishness without knowing what the other had said.  You were saying that the OP's sub was selfish; I was encouraging the OP herself to be more selfish.



To write "posts crossing" is open to interpretation. IE, they can merge as much as clash. And when your post (#27) came pretty much on top of mine, I thought you were joking along the lines of minds thinking alike. Esp since your "selfishness" comment had almost no real context within that specific post....

And..., errrrm..., I'm really hoping someone (*anyone*) is about to knock on my door - I better go check. Shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get back here....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:28:27 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Lol. Don't mind Focus, he's just grouchy.

I shouldn't have engaged him. Bad VC.



The only thing grouchy about me is that you keep saying I am.... <shrugs>

Focus.



Focus is my evil guy twin!! Look at that face!!


And yet I don't get to look at yours.... But I'm really, really, REALLY hoping we're not identical twins.

Gotta go - think I left the neighbour standing at the door (hopefully)....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 3:41:22 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Go look at my profile, Focus, I have my face on there. And NO thank heavens we are only very very similar in temperament!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 4:09:25 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		tickels LH to see what her temperment is. Your to cute to have a temperment.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 8:38:26 PM   
Kicia


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2010
Status: offline 		Today I played around a bit with making him clean the house up for a party tomorrow, while I watched tv, played with the cats, and surfed the internet - normally I'd be equally cleaning. I also just had him get up and take care of some laundry, make the bed, and bring me heated up leftovers from our dinner. I've been going in and out of it, not staying in any "role" the entire day. He told me a few minutes ago that he's enjoyed it today, which is encouraging and talking about it positively in off-time has made me feel like it isn't inadequate, either. Some things I didn't even realize fit right in without me trying.

I've gotten more comfortable so far and am so grateful to all the positive, encouraging responses on here. :)

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 8:58:08 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm glad things are going well! It's good to be a princess. :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Kicia)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Trying to learn - 9/4/2010 9:34:02 PM   
MrKicia


Posts: 155
Joined: 9/3/2010
Status: offline 		I have not pestered her at all or asked for anything in return.  I think she is doing a great job, and i have no complaints.

I have been about half cocked all day today from all of the demands.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Trying to learn - 9/5/2010 4:51:32 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		Glad the million and one simple things are working out well for the two of you.  I also slip in and out of the Domme role during a typical day, Kicia.  I was his girlfriend before I was his Domme and it was a role I enjoyed as well.  Don't worry too much about it, it's normal.  It comes in really handy once in a while when you are having a bad day and need him to be the strong one for a few hours.

_____________________________

Women and cats will do what they please. Men and dogs need to relax and get used to the idea.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

(in reply to MrKicia)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Trying to learn - 9/6/2010 11:01:51 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Personally, I started with sessions of domination lasting for a given amount of time, and then talking them over afterwards.  I really hate feeling awkward and unprepared, and so making sure that didn't happen was a goal for me, as was my getting what I wanted out of it. But I also wanted my partner to get SOMETHING out of it that he wanted, because I know from experience that if people don't, they won't play with you any more. So I found out what elements of it really, really turned his crank. Sometimes it was things I hadn't expected...once it was the way my breasts felt against his back. Well, I've got big boobs, if I'm going to reach around from behind someone to do things to their nipples, I'm going to have my boobs up against his back. That's simple reality. But finding that out meant that I could put that into my calculations of what I'm doing, and made me melt his brain down better. (I REALLY love melting brains down.)

I would also encourage you to think about what makes you feel like the Woman In Charge. It may not be a corset and heels.  It may not be him polishing your toenails. Me, I love reading a book with my feet up, looking into the kitchen, and seeing a naked sub washing the dishes. Sometimes I get up and go pinch his butt. Often I just really enjoy the view. I learned that I have to make comments and let him know I'm enjoying looking, though.


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 60
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