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Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 9:04:36 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		OK, in my 1500 some odd posts I have never, once, started a rant thread. I think I'm due and I am trying to live up to my screenname here after all.

I can't count how many times people have been bashed, ranted against, raved against, etc., for coming on the forums and being flabbergasted at the reception for 'expecting' some tolerance for their kink only to be told, quite unequivocally, that BDSM is no different from vanilla and one should not expect better treatment here than there. OK, fine. I can buy that actually. We have people coming on here calling complete strangers whores, wannabes, posers et al.  What I don't get is the double standard. Suddenly, when someone comes in ranting against 'nillas, they are the DEVIL INCARNATE. Personally, I have nothing against minions of Satan but that's just me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the fact that 'nillas are the way they are the very reason many BDSM folks are in the closet, don't come out, hide who we are from friends, family, SO's family and friends and several million other people? I mean which is it here? Are we more tolerant or are 'nillas more tolerant? Are we less tolerant or are 'nillas less tolerant? If living a life which includes BDSM is exactly the same as living a 'nilla way of life why are so many people hiding from 'nilla society but feel perfectly at home with BDSM folks? Why do so many fear losing their jobs, their children, their friends and family's if everyone is all the same? If it's all the same, no one is better or worse than anyone else, why do sites like collarme exist? 

I've seen things like. "How dare you be intolerant of XYZ. How dare you say YKINOK." If it's not a double standard, what is it? Does BDSM as a 'community' seek some sort of ideal of acceptance so we hem and haw whenever anyone actually exhibits intolerance while at the same time many preach at how intolerant we are? I think we send a mixed message here. On the one hand.. BDSM folks are intolerant just like 'nilla folks .. get used to it. On the other.. how dare you be intolerant!

Nope. I just don't get it. Anyone here that does get it and can 'splain it to me?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 9:27:33 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Celeste,

Considering you've never ranted, that was a good one!  Coherent, well thought out clear message.

As to my explanation, we're all human.  We would all like to think we are tolerant, but at the end of the day, we all have to draw the line somewhere.  Most of us draw somewhere before snuff, children, animals, etc, but some do not.  Therefore, I think SOME intolerance is necessary. 

Each person on their own can decide what they tolerate and what not.  I tolerate just about anything, I just may not want to see it.  Others say that scat is wrong.  Or Prodommes, or whatever.  How can I say my intolerances are OK, yours are not?

Most of my intolerances run along the site guidelines and along legal guidelines, but I hardly think we should have a rule - if it's legal, it's OK. If it's illegal, it aint.  So why is it OK to hate consentual murder, but not OK to hate scat?

I think we not only need to be more tolerant sometimes, but also more tolerant of other people's intolerance. 

Just the opinion of one of the many humans on this site.

Yours,


benji

PS: I really do understand your motivation for this one. 

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 9:28:15 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		Celeste: if you get the answer you seek please let girl know...

girl will say that she used to hide her being a slave from the "Nilla" world, but as of Jan. 1, 2005 she hasn't been scared to admit she is a slave. hell, you shoulda seen the look on the customs officer's face when girl said "yes Ma'am, i know who He is, what He has in His suitcase and yes i'm fine with it."

omgoddess her face dropped, she went beet red and turned mumbling something under her breath. it was priceless to see the look on her face, but girl did not do it to shock her, just to inform her that girl knew who the Dom was, what He had and that she was expecting nothing less.

this was a few years ago mind, but ever since Jan. 2005, girl has been more open about being a slave, heck even one of the guys at work knows she is a slave and chuckled when she came into work one day wearing her collar. he then reminded her because of the type of work girl does she can't wear it on site, but that she was welcome to wear it to the office.

guess it depends on the person, day, month, time, moon phaze, week etc as to how things work ...... just girls opinion....

again please let girl know when you get the answer you seek as she is very interested to see what is said.

*edited to add* now that girl is looking for a new Master, she hasn't worn her collar into work and  has been asked why by the guys at work, so she told them. girl told her step mother in Jan. 2005, and was told "i don't want you coming around here any more.....lol, is ok though at least her family knows. her cousin in Conneaut, Ohio knows she is a slave and that she is going to Erie PA to meet up with a Dom and His alpha slave, his only concern was girls safety....go figure, he was more accepting and concerned than her step mom was....oh well so be it.*

*rubs sleep deprived eyes and looks at the coffee pot, pondering a cup of java to stay up and peek through the posts on the boards.* *ok now girl is going to stretch her legs, have a smoke, a cup of decaf. tea and then find this thing called "sleep," if she can.*


< Message edited by cariad -- 4/21/2006 9:34:04 PM >

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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 9:34:56 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Let's see... i've been accused of being intolerant... so when I try to show tolerance.. I too get the... "how dare you tolerate that!!"

Sort of damned if we do.... damned if we don't... so I decided i'll be damned if I care any more. I don't care if someone likes my post or not. I don't care if one understands me or not. If they want to tolerate me... kewl... if they want to be intolerant of me... alrighty then... so be it... one thing.. if anything at all... I have learned from the good folks on CM.. is this... WTF... life goes on... and so will theirs... so all though I have my little kwerks (yes purposely misspelled).... I have on line people I know..(sorta like friends)... and off line friends... that like me just the way I am... even if they just simply tolerate me.... they accept me.... and I tolerate and accept them as well... Just asked Owned.. that girl drives me nuts... but I Wuvs her anyways.... LOL

Interresting post Bita... going to get more interresting too.. I can tell....

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 4/21/2006 9:39:37 PM >

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 9:54:00 PM   
crazypatient


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have to say, I guess I expected more tolerance here than I have seen... I'm trying to understand a world that seems to be what I've always looked for... that seems to fulfill all my needs and fantasies... I mean, I have been accused of expecting it to solve my problems, but it's not that, it's just that in the 'nilla world I'm told not to value what other people think... and I'm supposed to make my own decisions... and maybe that's just against my nature.   maybe I'm just more comfortable being told what to do, being told that it's okay to ask what to do when I'm not sure...  and also needing to please... most of the doms on here seem to understand the sub's need to please, and appreciate it... while in the rest of the world, that is considered weakness and indeciciveness...  if he is to control me, he must take some responsibility, as well... not that I cannot do the same... If I serve a man, I can certainly comfort him... use the things I know to provide him with farther information... long before I ever found this world, I thought that I'd be more comfortable doing research, getting information, and then presenting my man with what I've learned so that he can decide... cause decisions make me so nervous... I've broken into tears at not being able to decide what to get when out to eat... such decisions just make me uncomfortable... do doms consider that wrong? is it wrong?  or can it be good in this world...  They say that you can have the choice between freedom and safety... I think I want safety.   I'm sure I want safety. 

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 10:11:01 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Excellent points and OP, but I know that I, for one, don't have an answer.  I also agree that it seems completely logical to be involved in a lifestyle that is not tolerated or barely tolerated by many, and knowing what that feels like -- not act the same to each other.

*shrugs*

Came as quite a surprise to me, but definitely not the way it is.  Not online or real time.  However, I guess expecting logic from human beings is probably.........illogical of me  anyway.

Blessed be.

_____________________________

Harmony
Proud to be owned by Pyro

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 10:36:24 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Celeste,

Considering you've never ranted, that was a good one!  Coherent, well thought out clear message.

*Yes, I think so too. - susanofO


Most of my intolerances run along the site guidelines and along legal guidelines, but I hardly think we should have a rule - if it's legal, it's OK. If it's illegal, it aint.  So why is it OK to hate consentual murder, but not OK to hate scat?

I think we not only need to be more tolerant sometimes, but also more tolerant of other people's intolerance.  -

*Yes! I think so too. Maybe no revelation to some here, but -
What I've seen happen in observing threads is that sometimes someone is simply asking a question - I watch threads sometimes and if more people have answered that person in a way I perceive as "harsh" I sometimes toss in something that might be perceived by them as "soothing" (and is also my opinion, if I even have one on the topic in question). I see other people do this, too.

I also think how people perceive comments is based on where their own head is "at" at a particular time (their emotional state), their basic personality, and their goals in using this CM site. How someone is perceiving a comment may have not much to do (sometimes) with how it was intended to be perceived by someone else.

Tossing in a comment that is my opinion to an OP's topic that  perhaps will be perceived as  "soothing"  (if I do it) is (usually) an attempt to show that maybe even though people who are human and so can be intolerant of other people's views, that people exist that are tolerant of the hope that some won't feel "wiped out" by what could be perceived as intolerance to the essence of their question (or whatever an OP was stating).
 
Depending on how "tuned in" I am feeling to other people (like anyone I spose, some days I feel energetic and others I feel less "peppy") and how much time I have to read threads, I know there are days when:
 
 I see some "trend" of communication in a thread, and just think to myself: "Ouch?!" . Sometimes I don't do anything about it by writing back (because I am short of time, or have no opinion, or both).
 
But other times, I'll wait and see what happens - and come back to it later to see if I still say: "Ouch!" to myself  - depending on the "trend" I see - and then I might toss in a (hopefully) "soothing" comment (If I have one).
 
Other days I read things, and even if others might consider them abundantly "direct" , I find them valuable, and think: These (or this) is great food for thought (and maybe I go think about it more, if I think some of it might apply to me or my life).
 
Sometimes reading threads *can change my entire opinion on some topic, and prompt me to want to learn more about it, regardless of the "trend" in "direct" or "dimplomatic" communication.
 
Usually, if *That happens if I've been reading threads where I've perceived the commenters, on the whole, have made an effort to understand the question, regardless of their perception of the personality of the commenters (or the OP).   

*That happens on most threads I've read, btw. I can always ignore the ones where it doesn't - but I think it's great somebody is posting a thread on the overall topic of Tolerance. 

If somebody IS really "intolerant", let us not forget there is always, of course, the option of just saying nothing at all to them. And everyone's personality is different.

And, as you state Benji, nobody is "100% tolerant" all the time - everybody's got opinions, due to being human. - susanofO 

Just the opinion of one of the many humans on this site.

Yours,


benji

PS: I really do understand your motivation for this one. 


< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/21/2006 11:35:50 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/21/2006 10:38:49 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have only been here a couple of days and I have already noticed some intolerance towards people trying to understand their situation. I have to admit I was a little intolerant of the intolerance. I have this big bad streak of always sticking up for the underdog... I don't know why Im like that but I am...lol. The fact of the matter is that someone is always going to have an opinion about how we live our lives, and judge us for it. It does not have to be a vanilla person, we can find it in people that are into BDSM too.

For example I have found that some doms and subs think masochism and sadism have to be done by sick people. I have emailed back and forth with doms that were weirded out by the fact I like more pain than a warmed rump. A few have kinda judged me about it, but oh well.


Thanks for your rant Celeste (or bita if you prefer).

(in reply to harmony3709)
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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 1:22:44 AM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		I think it is ridiculous to try and call this Alternative, BDSM, etc, etc....thing a community. It invites putting some sort of boundaries, labels, rules etc onto it.
If it is a community, then that by definition sets boundaries of what and who is in or outside of the community "city" limits.
As if there are dividing lines of human desires and emotions, ways of thinking.
It is an endless degree of all the shades of what we are. This area of it is supposed to be more widely accepting of the diverse and the supposedly perverse. But even in that diversity are the shades of conformance to a particular perversity. Oxymorons all around.
Ever smaller tribes throwing stones at all the others.
The only thing I despise here is those that throw stones.
Invite someone into your glass house, or don't.
Otherwise. Shut the F@#^ up.
Even evil people have evil friends.
What are you? Don't be so fast to feel you are wonderful, as you bask in the kind words and support of others. Who are they?
What is it that you are superior to?
I still seek what I desire.
I envy the so called vanilla who have found the one that fulfills their desires. I am happy that they are happy. I throw no stones. I am happy for the Master and slave that are bound together.
If One finds a moments joy to piss in the mouth of the one who finds bliss to receive it. I am glad they found that moment.

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 3:45:20 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Kinky people are not more tolerant than vanillas, except when they are. And vice-versa.
 
Like benji said, we're human before anything else. If I'm tired I may see a post and want to rip into them. If I'm in a good frame of mind, I may very well see the same post and have some empathy for the person or situation.
 
The one thing I have the most intolerance for is stupidity, which should not be confused with ignorance.
 
And one last thing: disagreeing with someone, even with great enthusiasm, does not neccesarily constitute intolerance.
 
Level

< Message edited by Level -- 4/22/2006 3:46:32 AM >

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 3:47:54 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I've seen things like. "How dare you be intolerant of XYZ. How dare you say YKINOK." If it's not a double standard, what is it? Does BDSM as a 'community' seek some sort of ideal of acceptance so we hem and haw whenever anyone actually exhibits intolerance while at the same time many preach at how intolerant we are? I think we send a mixed message here. On the one hand.. BDSM folks are intolerant just like 'nilla folks .. get used to it. On the other.. how dare you be intolerant!

Nope. I just don't get it. Anyone here that does get it and can 'splain it to me?

Celeste

I thought about this some more. I like this topic. I haven't seen a whole lot of blatant intolerance but maybe part of the reason is:

In general, I  think stating there is any bound-together "BDSM community" at CM simply because it's a website for those interested and-or practicing bdsm activity in their lives is a MYTH that can run close to idealism and trying to "fit other people inside another's conception of what is "fitting".

On an one-to-one level, I think trying to see if someone's conception of what's "fitting" might match your own I think is fine, of course (for people seeking partners).  

I see bdsm as sub-culture - but I see where the impression there is some kind of "collective mind" hovers on some threads. My impression a few times has been that perhaps its squashed someone's curiosity (but maybe they quickly "got over it", who knows? The fact people don't know if  or how quickly they do is a possibility that might give some people pause, though).

I know I like it when I see people give others the 'benefit of a doubt' re: Interpreting what it is they are saying. I think asking people to clarify what that is sometimes helps (and if the other is "defensive" sometimes that's seen as insulting by them. Maybe they Are (either person) in a really vulnerable frame of mind. Or: Maybe another person really IS an "idiot" (but maybe not forever IF people can and do change, as a result of what is perceived as "open-mindedness" (or lack thereof) on the part of others.

Sometimes, in some threads I've seen, someone trying to answer an OP's query might seem to some as trying to fit that person inside their own box of what they see as "fitting" but - since everyone really (I believe) IS unique, most of the time I try to see it as people trying to simply teach eachother something and express their own selves at the same time.

I think because personalities Are all different, and poeple's "vulnerability level" can vary (depending on what is goingon with their lives) people can sometimes mis-perceive what another might be stating and That (I think) is when feelings can be hurt and people really can start to view others as "intolerant".

In order to make a judgment about whether that is what's really ahppening or not, I do think peopele may have to know someone pretty well (or be an extra good at "reading people" - and there are people who I think are good at that, too) If somebody is NOT in a really vulnerable mind-spot, and-or has a healthy ego (self-esteem), I don't think they're really going to care anyway what somene else thinks of their perceived "tolerance level". They'll still seek whatever it is they came here to seek (knowledge, friends, partners, all three or ....). 

Poeple all being unique, to me, means they are going to have their own "preferences" (as is their right). Maybe those preferences are perceived by some as "static.", based on what they write (or wrote) at one time or another; if that's the case, maybe it's not always a fair assumption of someone else without knowing them a bit better. 

Why someone's apparent out-look, based on what they write on these boards, would be restricted to the writer's life experiences (including their observations of other people) surprise anyone?
 
I think on any website people have a right to self-identification: On this site there are people identifying as: Masters, Mistresses, submissives, slaves, heterosexuals, bisexuals, homosexuals, "leatherfolk", transgendered people, poly, monogamous 
and the list goes on.

There are thousands of people on the CM site, from all parts of the world, with different needs, desires, personalities and expectations. I think anyone who expects a  "BDSM collective" in terms of expecting 'everyone' to adhere to their particular viewpoint (if it is static) on all topics is unrealistic in the extreme. It negates the entire idea of being "open-minded."

There may be a (slight) caveat here: Those seeking a partner (but even then I'd hope conversation where poeple investigate eachother's views wouldn't be viewed as a "threat"). - susanofO

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/22/2006 5:01:28 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 4:14:44 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Its been said before sweetie and hold true here.... people are people. D/s people, BDSM people, vanilla people.... all just people. No two are exactly the same.

There are things I like, things I dislike, things I am tolerant of and things I am not. That is the standpoint I take when making comment and giving my opinion because it is MINE, from my viewpoint and coloured by who I am.

Maybe where I on the other side of the coin, with a need to please and be found pleasing then I would bend a bit to popular opinion, but I'm not. I really couldn't give a monkeys about how I'm viewed, some will like blunt and straigh forward, some will find issue with it.... their problem not mine unless I let it be.

Nice rantlett for someone so out of practice BTW

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 4/22/2006 4:22:40 AM >

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 4:17:10 AM   
pgqosk


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline 		Celeste,

I have always been a believer of what someone once mentioned to me was kind of the BDSM lifestyle motto, "Your kink is not my kink... but your kink is OK". I have always believed that the lifestyle is fairly accepting of most everything, including non-lifestye practitioners. To think that people in the posts on this site bite into those talking of "'nilla folks" is just not the lifestyle I am used to, or that I believe in. I don't think anyone should be telling another how to think or feel about any given thing... unless it is advice about an obviously self destructive behavior... and is given to try and help.... but not to hurt or criticize. But then maybe I am too much of an idealist?? LOL

Steven--

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 4:48:56 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Kinky people are not more tolerant than vanillas, except when they are. And vice-versa.
 
Like benji said, we're human before anything else. If I'm tired I may see a post and want to rip into them. If I'm in a good frame of mind, I may very well see the same post and have some empathy for the person or situation.
 
The one thing I have the most intolerance for is stupidity, which should not be confused with ignorance.
 
And one last thing: disagreeing with someone, even with great enthusiasm, does not neccesarily constitute intolerance.
 
Level

Level makes a good point here about disagreeing not necessarily being equal with intolerance. I think the majority of folks in the "style" try their best not to criticize other's kinks, but if the topic strays away from that, then it does open up the playing field. For the most part I have seen discussion go from bad to worse with regard to lifestyle eticate, definitions and such, but rarely have I seen total non-acceptance of someone's kink or techniques. Certainly we all have opinions and some are more vocal than others. Granted, in many cases it may be more prudent for the poster to just "click on" and not comment, but sometimes the comments if taken in context could be useful as well (sometimes, not always). But as Level also pointed out, he as well as many of us simply are not tolerant of stupidity, and I might add, whining. If someone posts a stupid question, and yes there really is such a thing if it's just posted to get a rise out of everyone and not really get an answer, then certainly, intolerance surfaces quickly. If a topic is well presented and actually is M/s, D/s, or BDSM related, odds are it will get the best response. May not always happen that way, but I agree it should.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 5:22:33 AM   
Loch


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/15/2004
Status: offline 		Considering that the last person who threatened to have my children taken away from me simply because she knew I was in a BDSM relationship was a well-known published submissive writer who was out as a lifestyle slave... !!!

I'd say at this point that I don't trust Nillas nor BDSMers one more than the other.  I've come to find people are people first, kink does not make you more nor less tolerant.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 5:24:33 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Kinky people are not more tolerant than vanillas, except when they are. And vice-versa.
 
Yes, I think so too. - SusanofO
 


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 6:17:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for started this thread Celeste! It should prove interesting to follow. While I agree with you, during my short time following these various discussions I have seen some suprising posts I also think that most of the "noise" appears to come from the same few sources. It's rather like going to a party and seeing the one person that truely believes he/she is the "best, smartest, most attractive, wittiest...etc" person there. They inadvertantly have a few people around them that haven't the ability or backbone to think for themselves and are willing to listen, however most of the rest of the people tend to avoid them and just hope they will run out of steam and leave. Usually, for whatever personal reasons, they tend to avoid coming right out and telling the obnoxious oaf what they think of him/her and just talk about them quietly behind their back. However, on here we are less bound by social restraints and feel more free to express our point of view however rudely. Myself, I try to behave the same online as I would in person and let the idiots babble their way into a pit of their own senseless words......however on occasion I get a bit playful and enjoy baiting just for fun.....sadistic batich that I am. My own intollerances as far as lifestyle are fairly simple and basic I think. I believe that whomever is involved in whatever should be a consenting adult human......beyond that........whatever floats your boat or ruffles your panties or.....whatever

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RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 6:32:54 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Whether vanilla or BDSM, we have one thing in common; we are humans,with all the good points as well as the flaws inherent in our humanity.
I agree with Level that a difference of opinion does not necessarily mean intolerance.  I see your OP as more of a rant against those who do not understand the art of good debate, and I certainly can agree with that!  (there, does that make me more tolerant now? <grins>)


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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 6:48:51 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Every facet that has stepped out of the norm due to intolerance has developed their own intolerance for everyone else and eventually for facets of each other.
 
We are as Raven said, at the end of the day woefully human, colored, guided and directed by our upbringing, beliefs, perceptions, as soon as man stood upright and had the cognizant ability to decide, intolerance began.--IMHO, it will not go away--I try, I find I am more intolerant with closed mindedness than someone who chose a different path---I do not suffer fools well--never have, never will--
 
but I also believe in the right to an opinion, expressed as such, not dictated--stated, for I have seen where My eyes have been opened at times as well as the right to ask for knowledge, no matter what it is.
 
A good post Celeste--a good thought provoker for the day.

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Mistress Hathor


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Double Standards of behavior/Mixed Messages - 4/22/2006 7:09:00 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I think there is a difference between tolerating other people’s kinks and the way they choose to live their lives and tolerating gross overgeneralizations based on inaccurate ridiculous assumptions.  I try to minimize the assumptions that I make and when I do make them, I try to ensure that they are made in an educated manner.  Too often I see people make a lot of ridiculous assumptions about what people say, write or do.  They assume based on their own narrow view of the world rather than just asking for more information to understand the other's perspective.  That is something that I have little tolerance for in myself and in others.  I don’t come here to be accepted or even liked.  I come here to share ideas and mostly hear other people’s ideas.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 20
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