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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/31/2010 12:09:40 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I tend to be submissive in all aspects of my life. When my progeny were younger I *had* to be assertive because I was the only parent who was willing to give them rules and enforce them. (Add in that they are naturally dominant and it made for interesting parenting!) I've taken leadership classes so I know the nuts and bolts of being a leader, and can do a good job of it if necessary, and if I'm given the task of catering a party of some kind, I will make decisions and lead the volunteers toward accomplishing that task in a timely manner. But it's still done from a submissive mind-set. I see things from a submissive perspective. I don't work toward that, it's just who I am.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/31/2010 7:57:23 AM

kuppykake

Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

In the vanilla world, most people think I'm the one in control for the most part. They'd be shocked if they knew it was the other way around! To most people I am outgoing, and highly determined to get what I want. Does this affect my submission? Yes, slightly, but not too negatively.

(in reply to sublizzie)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 8/31/2010 11:06:25 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

i am submissive normally i had a managers post for a while and hated it while i could do it and people thought i was good inside i was a wreck and was so glad when an opportunity came up to leave. we play online still occasionally when we relied on it master had another online sub as well and she was constantly trying to submit to me as well she wanted to be owned by us both i hated it when she tired an dhad no idea how to handle it he used to often have to im her to tell her to stop. i wont submit to anyone only master and i wont do sub things for others but being sub is deep in me and it stays all the time but i am a very strong person jsut not a dom bone in me

(in reply to kuppykake)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/2/2010 4:52:29 AM

Owlet

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/2/2009
Status: offline

For the most part I'm very submissive in everyday life. Some of this is due to being shy and some of it is because I genuinely like to please people and make them happy. The only time I'm truly pushy is when it comes to my Master's health, and I can get really aggressive about it. For example, "You need to take your vitamins," "You probably shouldn't eat that," "Don't forget your meds!" If those simple statements don't work I move on to pouting, beguiling, and bribing with favors. I want to make sure he's here to boss me around for a good long while!

(in reply to cloudniner)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/2/2010 9:13:57 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When my friends have first found out I am a submissive, they tended to think that I should be a domme, why? Because people build their image of what a submissive is on a sexual stereotype. We are not stereotypes, we are people...

What are the qualities they thought would make me a dominant person? Well, I appear uber confident, I am more than willing to initiate contact with people (although at times this hides the fact I would rather watch people any day), I will step up if no one else will to take the reins. I would rather someone else do it, but I am willing to when I want to accomplish something

Once my circle got to know me, like come over and socialize, etc, and found out how much i love to entertain them, make sure they are comfortable, etc, they started seeing that other side to me, and it made sense to them... also, my best girlfriend told me the other day "I can't imagine you with anyone other than a take charge kinda guy, you definitely need that".

If your friends can't see you as a submissive, perhaps they are thinking of it wrong, perhaps they need to think of it in relational terms, what sort of man would be best for you... I bet if they thought of it that way, they may tend to see you differently...

I do have a large personality, and people often defer to me, but I need a man with a larger personality... the type of man that when he tells me to do something it makes me melt, because that is my nature in relationship to HIM.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to cloudniner)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/2/2010 3:38:50 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

What julia said. In spades.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/4/2010 7:04:22 AM

asilentscream

Posts: 17
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

I don't know if it's really ever a good idea for a submissive to act submissive in general vanilla settings. When people are perceived as submissive it seems like people often like to try and take advantage of them, and based on most of the posts here, I get the idea that people doing that to most of you would be making a big mistake. Definitely a good thing.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/4/2010 2:23:19 PM

oldbabyface

Posts: 56
Joined: 7/13/2010
From: West Midlands, UK
Status: offline

Submissive? Only when I'm first trusting.

The rest of the time I'm calm, tactful and in control of me, in short I'm usually assertive.

_____________________________

Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible.

Francis Bacon

(in reply to cloudniner)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/4/2010 2:36:27 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I do not have any clue how one would.... act.... submissive. It is not a light switch.

You just are. It is a natural and organic process that has undefinable qualities.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to cloudniner)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/4/2010 3:21:18 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
It is a natural and organic process that has undefinable qualities.

Heh, I was with you up until this phrase. As far as I'm concerned, the qualities of it are perfectly definable... I call Carol generally submissive because in most situations she will choose to "go along", "accede", "play nice", "not make waves", "be agreeable", etc. over the alternative of pushing for her own desire. In other words, I call her submissive because she submits. Since she submits most of the time and to most of the world, I think of her as "generally submissive" or as "having a submissive personality".

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/4/2010 3:49:19 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Carol wants and needs you. Why?
It is also nice to appreciate some irony.

I could go through the entire dictionary and slap words that somewhat define me but I know it would be a farce. Nothing would ever define me 100 percent of the time. There are qualities far beyond what we think we sense. Hence, undefinable.

An allusion to placeholders but they never hold their place. We are playing a 'game' with Imperfect Information.

Not to negate you but that is how I feel.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 12:24:46 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

Carol wants and needs you. Why?
It is also nice to appreciate some irony.

I could go through the entire dictionary and slap words that somewhat define me but I know it would be a farce. Nothing would ever define me 100 percent of the time. There are qualities far beyond what we think we sense. Hence, undefinable.

An allusion to placeholders but they never hold their place. We are playing a 'game' with Imperfect Information.

Not to negate you but that is how I feel.

Words are for descriptive purpose..No matter how you buck against them..you still fit certain molds.

You are not a unique butterfly...thousands of people have probably come before you thinking the exact same thoughts. You are not and original.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 1:11:29 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

No argument there Pyro. I don't define myself as a "master" any more than I define Carol as a slave. It is merely a label which captures a piece of her essence. I just think it's not that hard to quantify "submissive". It is, however, impossible to quantify a human.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 2:47:57 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

All of us submit to death.

Acting submissive takes more energy than being me.

and Icarys....and whatever you have said to me does not matter. Your intent is as clear as day.

Good Bye. I am done with this subject.

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 9/5/2010 2:48:15 PM >

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 2:57:31 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

All of us submit to death.

Acting submissive takes more energy than being me.

and Icarys....and whatever you have said to me does not matter. Your intent is as clear as day.

Good Bye. I am done with this subject.

None of us submit to death...We don't have the first say so in it unless we choose the time and place.

I don't hide my intent but I doubt you know what it is. Wax on Wax off Danielson.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 3:11:12 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

no, i do not "act" submissive, nor do i "like" to be submissive. i just am...with me it's pretty much a default state, one which requires a great deal of effort (and tremendous anxiety) in order to respond to the world at large any differently.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 3:56:15 PM

PhoenixNoir

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/30/2010
Status: offline

I am a s.a.m so most of the time I serve I don't think most would see me as submissive.But Masters cloths are laid out in the morming, his thing laid out of his shower at night, he always has something to drink near by, ect. Master gets what Master wants. Do I act submissive? No, I act like me. I could never be subservant all the time.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/5/2010 7:40:57 PM

femasoslave

Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2009
Status: offline

No.....I am not submissive in life......I am an introvert and prefer to stay quietly in the background BUT I am comfortable being in charge. I am ONLY submissive to my Master.

(in reply to cloudniner)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/8/2010 1:11:42 PM

Gage46Bstn

Posts: 34
Joined: 11/8/2008
From: Master Greg
Status: offline

A very shy quiet inherently submissive guy is a personal turn on for me as a Dominant. I recognize this as a personal preference and speaks to the part of me that is nurturing as well as Dominant and demanding.

Be honest with yourself - be you It's a journey

_____________________________

There is no more fulfilling, erotic, animal, enlightened and masculine relationship possible between two males than a Master / slave relationship.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/13/2010 8:08:44 AM

lapgirl

Posts: 116
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
It is a natural and organic process that has undefinable qualities.
Heh, I was with you up until this phrase. As far as I'm concerned, the qualities of it are perfectly definable... I call Carol generally submissive because in most situations she will choose to "go along", "accede", "play nice", "not make waves", "be agreeable", etc. over the alternative of pushing for her own desire. In other words, I call her submissive because she submits. Since she submits most of the time and to most of the world, I think of her as "generally submissive" or as "having a submissive personality".

i think this best describes me as well...

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 40

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