RE: Do you act submissive most of the time?

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/13/2010 9:14:08 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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quote:

ORIGINAL: asilentscream

I don't know if it's really ever a good idea for a submissive to act submissive in general vanilla settings. When people are perceived as submissive it seems like people often like to try and take advantage of them, and based on most of the posts here, I get the idea that people doing that to most of you would be making a big mistake. Definitely a good thing.

i couldnt act subissive i am submissive i cant pretend otherwise but i am also strong and confident and yes try to take advantage of me it would be one huge mistake

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 9/13/2010 9:36:39 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I'm curious as to why the op thinks joking and witty banter isn't submissive. It is here. It makes him smile. If cajoling someone into a better mood isn't qualified as people pleasing, then what is?

I think that view of sub's as sitting quietly in the corner until called for is what is causing the op's confusion. Find a dom who enjoys banter and it will be solved.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 7:36:06 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
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I am not submissive at all in real life. I really, really hate it if I'm not running things and making decisions. It drives me nuts to not to be in control and taking the responsibility for many things at once.

I am, however, submissive to my Owner (if and when I find her). I enjoy being dominated by that certain someone special, who lets me know who the real boss is.

I don't like 'Dommes' who think that a guy with a brain and a strong will can't possibly be submissive. I've been 'blackballed' by a single pseudo-Domme who thinks that male slaves must be quiet as mouses and cannot speak or offer opinions unless ordered to by Her.

Sorry, honey, you may not understand, but, yes, I am a slave. Just not to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When my friends have first found out I am a submissive, they tended to think that I should be a domme, why? Because people build their image of what a submissive is on a sexual stereotype. We are not stereotypes, we are people...

What are the qualities they thought would make me a dominant person? Well, I appear uber confident, I am more than willing to initiate contact with people (although at times this hides the fact I would rather watch people any day), I will step up if no one else will to take the reins. I would rather someone else do it, but I am willing to when I want to accomplish something

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 7:44:26 PM

sexyred1

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How would one act submissive most of the time, even if one was a quiet, passive type? There are times in life when you need to take charge of things, even mundane things.

As for me, I could not be less submissive on a daily basis; I am in sales and you have to be aggressive in order to be successful at that career.

I am also assertive about getting things done in my life; even when I was with someone, my daily outside life is handled by me and I am only submissive when inspired by someone in our private time together.

And then of course you have online interactions where invariably, some "dominate" upon being rejected, spews the predictable, "you are not really submissive, you are not acting submissive" nonsense.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 10/22/2010 7:45:05 PM >

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 7:45:14 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

Do you act submissive most of the time?

In a word, no. Submission isn't natural or even comfortable to me most of the time. I made a choice to submit and defer to DB. It isn't some "from within" thing for me. The fact that I love and respect Him makes it a little easier, but it's definitely not the norm for me, whether with friends, family, business people, etc. It's a decision that I made 7 years ago and remind myself that I agreed to it, and therefore, cherish the fact that He embraces me, knowing that it "went against my grain," but I did it anyway.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 8:06:39 PM

MMsCandy

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Nope i do not act submissive (nope not even with M) and it's not an inherent part of me, IOW: i am not very submissive.

I am his slave but that has to do (for us) with an Owner/property dynamic not a Dominant (though my owner is dominant) submissive (which again, i am not) dynamic.

In my daily life (work for example) i thrive in management positions (and thankfully i have that). M knows what my skills are that i am very good at getting what i want - so as a result i take care of a lot of the things he doesn't want to deal with. A bogus bill for instance gets automatically put on my plate because he knows i can handle it well and get results. I get a huge kick out of verbal banter and debate. I have no problems telling anyone they're wrong, if they happen to be in fact wrong. I can stand up for myself just fine.

I was by no means easy for M - i really wasn't and i give the man some serious kudo's for "taming" me to him. But he kept that FOR HIM ONLY.

Now, with M, i know my place, i know who i am to him and he is the only person on the face of this earth that will ever get of me, what he gets of me - he earned the right to the authority he has over me.

The only way i have ever been able to really explain it is that we are not dominant and submissive, we are more like dominant and dominant - he just happens to smoke me in the "dominant" department, i have no NEED (opposed to a want) to be the "top" position in my personal relationship but honestly if M had NOT picked up the reigns to lead this relationship, I would have and we probably would not have lasted very long. Instead, he was the type to need the control in this relationship and to NOT allow it to me, which when it came down to needs, suited me very nicely.

So, i got lucky ;)

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 8:31:24 PM

CollarSubGirl

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Sadly, I'm a fraidy cat and too easily confused. I try to be sneaky, stealthy and such but I just epically fail most days. But then again it's just me.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 8:31:49 PM

purepleasure

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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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No

My day to day life mandates that I control most situations that concern me and my well-being. I submit or bottom by choice.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/22/2010 10:37:22 PM

sweetsub1957

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~FR~
No. I don't act submissive....I am submissive. That being said, in my job I am a supervisor of others, as well as being subservient to my own supervisor. I take charge of situations that I need to in my life to remain a healthy human being, yet in social situations I admit that I'm quite excruciatingly shy at times. As far as submitting goes.....I submit to ONE.

~sweetsub~

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/23/2010 9:00:22 PM

mummyman321

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From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudniner

Here's the thing with me. I don't think anyone I know in daily life would guess that I like to be submissive. I have a job where I have to continually convince other people to do things for me, and I'm very good at it (particularly if the "others" happen to be men). My flirting style involves witty banter and inside jokes, not acting demure. I'm wondering if this is true for any other submissives as well?

I think you will find this is very common. Many subs are Dom(me) in their vanilla life. For me I am extremely dominant at work. I manage 18 - 25 people any given day. Being able to let go and give that control to someone else is a way for me to relax.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/23/2010 11:47:57 PM

DMFParadox

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My button just says 'ok'. So, ok then.

But I WANT a 'DOMINATE THIS POST!' button. I want one bad.

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RE: Do you act submissive most of the time? - 10/24/2010 7:53:41 AM

strippedwarrior

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Joined: 10/26/2009
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Simply, No. Long, my job requires me to be authorative. I don't show submissive mannerisms day to day, or what I would view as submissive tendancies. Much of the time I am responsible for a number of individuals, not only thier taskings, but also for thier development. Besides the daily office work inherent to the military, on tour my job entails life and death decisions for myself and others.

When I give my dominance over to another, handing them the reigns takes the weight from my shoulders. I can be free of responsibility and serve them fully without thought for myself, beyond keeping myself in such a state as to serve them fully.

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