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RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 2:51:00 PM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		erm....ok i was gonna delete this..i think they should add a delete button i mean there's reply quote edit fwd...the delete button is missing pleaaaaaaaaaase somebody..anybody..helluuuu??


< Message edited by MissyRane -- 4/24/2006 2:56:44 PM >

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 3:37:31 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		great sex I can get easily........one liner emails I get hourly.........if someone wants to get into my life they are going to have to catch my attention, hold it, make me laugh, make me think, make me want them..

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 4:34:03 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		There's that lovely saying...

"You have to get between my ears before you can even hope to get between my legs"

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 4:45:32 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		 
To the OP:  I am just catching up after a very busy few days.  Keep looking in your local community.  Be patient.  Online is fine, and maybe it will put you out there, but you have had some excellent advice throughout this thread.  I am also glad to read that you have re-thought the advice from Lone Goddes (and others since).  That sort of reaction would definitely make Me take a step back and wonder at just how submissive you really are if you can't take some constructive advice in the spirit offered. 
 
I am surprised that no one has addressed the post from KarbonKopy
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Join the rest of the world in crying in their beer because they cant find a good woman. Seriously, you think you're the only one in the world that has trouble finding someone?

Might I suggest finding someone to be with the old fashion way. Stop looking for a Domme, and look for a mate.

Someone to be happy with. If you like a dominant woman, find an empowered woman. Just because they're not a lifestyler, doesnt mean they never will be. And if they wont, keep looking, its the name of the game.

WHat do you think this is? honestly? the only place in the world where people live like this?
Thats completely foolish thinking patterns.

We're all everywhere, recognized or not.
Just go ask all the guys out there, or women for that matter, and ask how many people they went through to find someone they could spend their life with.

And ask how many havn't.


Now get another beer, keep crying and see how far it gets you.



Although this might be an option, I have to say, if one is firm in his/her submission as a preferred lifestyle, it is not as likely it will be found by searching "vanilla".  Date vanilla, by all means, and practice your courtliness with as many ladies as you like.  It is not a bad thing.
But...It is hard enough for most submissive boys to figure out that this is what they want and need.  At least they can feel somewhat safe in sharing this with others who are on the same page.  Empowered Women regardless, there are not too many who will take to the fullness of a D/s lifestyle and feel comfortable incorprating it into their vanilla world.  And the boy has the added pressure of then trying to introduce these needs and desires to be told he is sick or perverted.
KK, what is your problem?  You have been royally pissy on these boards for longer than lately. I don't know what happened to make you so angry and bitter, but I, for one, am tired of listening to your cynical anger.
Right... tell the boys to find empowered women by dating vanilla, so we can listen to yet another who thought he could manage a vanilla marriage and now is trying to get support for cheating.
I really don't care if you are annoyed with Me or not.  I am thoroughly sick of your attitude.
Sorry in advance to the Mods, if this is too much of a flame.
 

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 4/24/2006 4:47:52 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to KarbonCopy)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 5:31:15 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline 		Very good GDG.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/24/2006 5:31:42 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
KK is rarely a ray of sunshine, thatsforsure.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 66
Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 12:41:34 AM   
Beatmehrdr


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

just a thought, but perhaps you should try to broaden your search area. i'm not sure if you're specifically only looking in nyc, but nyc does have a preponderance of professional dominas.



I did some checking once--there are more ProDommes in New York than Starbucks.  So order that vanilla Chai with some CBT, OK?

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 5:40:19 AM   
joshslave111


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		awww again...i can't do the pro Domme thing.
It's not so much an issue of money as it is...well...in the back of my mind i'd always know that it was me who was calling the shots, that the Domme really didn't want me..but my money and anyone with cash will do.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 6:10:24 AM   
StrictWhip


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/23/2006
Status: offline 		Someone mentioned befriending a Dom or Domme you were not necessarily going to serve and by networking, you might find someone.  I suggest befriending another sub as well.  You will have someone to attend functions with (since your local groups don't allow single men).  Also, a lot of times when someone says "I just can't; I can't, I can't, can't can't"...what I hear is "I just won't; I won't; I won't, won't, won't." 

The idea of developing some useful talent or skill that is not related to sexual prowess is a great idea! 

Also, you may want to do a little introspection and determine if you are really submissive, or just a kinkster. 

And last but not least......I wonder if you are expecting instant sexual chemistry from the Domme's you meet and if that isn't a little unrealistic.  You don't have to serve immediately.  Go out with them in a vanilla setting a few times.  There may be things in the initial meeting that intimidate you at first, but once you become a little more familiar with that woman, you may find that very characteristic very appealing.  Give it a chance. 

(in reply to joshslave111)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/25/2006 9:30:41 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you for your advice EbonyFtshGoddess! I think if I lived in a big city it would help alot. I was trained by a couple, yet I can't even find another couple or a Male Dom for that matter. I've been looking for 3 years and someone as perfect as your to worship just don't come along everyday.

sublace


compliment well taken..

i know smaller cities are harder to find dommes or a *community*.. sometimes you have to look outside of your immediate area to find a situation that works for you. i definitely employ that technique. i have never found what i'm looking for in america so i only take eueropean slaves. so you may not find what you want in your area and maybe gotta broaden your search.

with the profile you currently have i wouldn't say you'll attract males per se- more like a cuckolding couple. if that's what you're truly searching for, to be used as a sex slave, then don't change your profile. you're rather upfront just like i am. that would be like my changing my rather specific profile to suit the tastes of those reading it.

someone will come across your profile and think.. gee i want a sex slave. whereas i'd personally keep clicking. but i don't contact slaves anyway so it's sort of a moot point. but were you to contact me first, having the profile you do i'd realize that we probably wouldn't be compatible. but that doesn't mean you should change your profile to suit a certain domme or couple reading it. it's an expression of what you want- it just may take you a bit longer to get it.

good luck on that tho.

< Message edited by EbonyFtshGoddess -- 4/25/2006 9:31:34 AM >

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to sublace)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Finding A Domme - 4/25/2006 7:25:14 PM   
Mlicious


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		I have not been through the entire thread, but this is my take on finding someone in the bdsm community. I have been active in the bdsm community for three years now. The majority of the subs with whom I've been in contact are looking for "the one." One thing I caution you on is that while looking for "the one", dont blind yourself to many opporunties to enjoy the lifestyle, passing up great people and opportunities because they dont fit your ideal. 

Nothing beats attending the local events and being active in your local bdsm community. Treat your online activites as a supplement to your search. Looking for someone in the bdsm community is not unlike networking for a job. Once people in the particular community know you and know what you are like and have to offer, a person may have you in mind when a Domme makes it known that she is looking for a submissive.

In addition, you must exercise patience. This is a relationship you seem to be looking for. Remember that vanilla people are out there looking for "the one" also, and that is without the added bells and whistles of a bdsm relationship. So be realistic about how unique a situation it is that you are seeking.

In the meantime, go out to the parties, build a network of people you enjoy hanging out with at the parties and concentrate on enjoying yourself  when you are attending them. I have also noticed that so many sub males are such loners. Meet people with the goal in mind to make networking connection, not the love connection. You dont have to be with "the one" in order to enjoy yourself in this lifestyle. At a party, you can enjoy serving a Domme by fetching her a drink, be her cup holder, footstool, ashtray... That sort of thing. By demonstrating that willingness to serve, you just may catch the attention of a Domme. 

(in reply to joshslave111)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 7:38:01 PM   
Mlicious


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		The thing is, pro-Dommes are often lifestyle Dommes as well, I know a number of them in my area. Again, do not eliminate the possibilites.

(in reply to joshslave111)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 7:40:56 PM   
Mlicious


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		Ok, StrictWhip did address the networking idea. Subs, especially the males, need to talk to one another and develop friendships, I wholeheartedly agree. When you know people without the pressure of making a love connection, you will likely find that you are enjoying yourself.

(in reply to StrictWhip)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/25/2006 8:10:27 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline 		Slave Josh,

I am in the NYC area, and am aware of several local events and meets that might be of interest of you.  I am sorry if this was already posted and I missed it, but just in case here are some links worth checking out.

Having said that, I know you tried TES, but its diversed and mixed, they host some good events. Do try again if you can. The Eulenspiegel Society (TES)

Also you might try the other sites listed below.
http://www.applemunch.org/
Dom Sub Friends Society
Paddles  This is a Professional dungeon, however every Friday and Saturday night is open for public play. 

I know you are in NYC but just accross the Hudson in NJ there is a few events taking off;

Please note DFP you must be a member to get in, but there is monthly play parties, and even talk of  a "Meet the Mistress Night" in the near future, to be held during a DFP monthly party. Submissive males would have the opportunity to introduce themselves to the Lady of their dreams,
http://www.dfp.com/DFPplayparty.html 

Also check the links on these sites, which have more information.

Until then,
Mistress NINA

(in reply to joshslave111)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/26/2006 7:29:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

Also you might try the other sites listed below.
http://www.applemunch.org/



Hurray!!!!


The Applemunch is still going!

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Interesting Factoid - 4/26/2006 9:39:52 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		Beatmehrdr
quote:

I did some checking once--there are more ProDommes in New York than Starbucks. So order that vanilla Chai with some CBT, OK?


maybe look outside of collarme.

not everyone in the scene would be on here;. as much as i dig collar me and appreciate their service.. hell if i dont find what i want locally.. yeah.. i'll gto other countries to find it.

i do see what you're saying.. and i can respect the fact that many dommes in a particular person's area..... may be all pro.

and if  someone isn't looking for pro that won't satisfy  them.

that's why i recommend joining bdsm societies..not munches necessarily..but go to places where dommes frequent.. and have at it!


.


_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 76
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