Age differences...

Age differences... (Full Version)

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FamilyofM -> Age differences... (9/1/2010 12:24:02 PM)
I was just hoping to hear from any people here who are in relationships where there is a rather large age difference. My sub is half my age. It is not a problem for either of us though I do find myself at times wondering what the future holds as he matures. If there are folks out there in such a relationship that has stood "the test of time" as it were I'd love to hear from you. What you feel helped keep things on track, or whatever it is you may wish to share. Many thanks to all who comment. Cheers!

switch2please -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:37:00 PM)
B and I have only been together for a year and a half now, but it's going well. We have a surprising amount in common and our personalities seem to complement each others'. We also have a fairly equal power dynamic outside of the bedroom. We met when I was 19 and he was 39. Now he's 41 and I'm 21. We tease each other about the age difference, but don't think about it too often - sometimes I don't want to be reminded how close in age he is to my parents, and he doesn't want to be reminded that I'm not too much older than his nieces. The age difference is not the focus of our relationship. Of course there are some ways we can't relate, but that's true of any couple.

mstrjx -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:47:37 PM)
In my last relationship she was 10 years younger than myself. The largest difference I have had was when I was 38 and she was 19 (which I will gladly admit was a mistake). I have no idea what the future holds. I might one day decide that I'm over the hill and I'll just slink off and take the hill with me so none of you will ever have to be 'over the hill'. Call it my last good deed for the lot of you. Jeff

daddysliloneds -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:50:16 PM)
he's half your age, or less than half if i may ask? when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally... when you exercise your ass off, haven't gained a pound in 10 or more years, but your body tone went down the toilet, again, menopause related, you lose their attention... when you're running neck and neck with them in regards to who is growing more facial hair in a week, you've lost them. of course, there's also the huge differences in life experiences, music and educational things, the things you enjoy doing, the people and environment that you enjoy being in/around, even the differences in eating schedules and bed-times change things. i've found that older men tend to hold onto younger women longer than older women hang on to younger men; but that's just what i've encountered.

Twoshoes -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:52:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally... Heh, nothing like getting rejected repetitively to make you take something personally.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:55:48 PM)
What is hrt?

daddysliloneds -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:57:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss What is hrt? hormone replacement therapy for when there isn't enough estrogen and the like.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 1:58:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally... Heh, nothing like getting rejected repetitively to make you take something personally. it's a proven hormone thing, not some macho thing, so why take it personally?

sunshinemiss -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:06:32 PM)
Thank you, ds.

Twoshoes -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:15:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds it's a proven hormone thing, not some macho thing, so why take it personally? I know it's a hormonal thing. It wasnt more than 6 years ago that I thought women were a waste of time and couldn't care less why they wanted my attention. (I'm 22) I'm just noting that nothing seems to be able to bruise a male ego as quickly as recurring rejection. I should note that while I sympathize with the situation, it scares the hell out of me. Does that make more sense?

FamilyofM -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:22:11 PM)
quote: he's half your age, or less than half if i may ask? when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally... when you exercise your ass off, haven't gained a pound in 10 or more years, but your body tone went down the toilet, again, menopause related, you lose their attention... when you're running neck and neck with them in regards to who is growing more facial hair in a week, you've lost them. of course, there's also the huge differences in life experiences, music and educational things, the things you enjoy doing, the people and environment that you enjoy being in/around, even the differences in eating schedules and bed-times change things. i've found that older men tend to hold onto younger women longer than older women hang on to younger men; but that's just what i've encountered. (in reply to FamilyofM) He is exactly half my age and was a virgin to boot. So far no HRT and no need at all for lube unless W/we play with toys. Facial hair, gotta laugh here, that is becoming a bit of a poblem. Surprisingly W/we have very much in common, it is at time very eerie. He broadcasts thoughts and I receive them, it continues to happen. W/we enjoy MUCH vanilla time together. So I will enjoy it while it lasts as nothing is promised or set in stone. Take care, Mistress Michelle

heartfeltsub -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:25:58 PM)
I was in a D/s relationship with a Dominant who was 34 and I was 46. We eventually broke up because of the differences in our ages and what we wanted out of life. He went through a period of time when he wanted a baby and that was not something my body could do. We are still friends, but the age difference and being in different places in our lives, I'm closer to retirement age, etc. did have an impact.

Twoshoes -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:41:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub We eventually broke up because of the differences in our ages and what we wanted out of life. Yes, that would often be the issue with this type of situation. heartfeltsub, I sent you a cmail answering your request for clarification on another thread awhile ago!

switch2please -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 2:51:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds he's half your age, or less than half if i may ask? when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally... when you exercise your ass off, haven't gained a pound in 10 or more years, but your body tone went down the toilet, again, menopause related, you lose their attention... when you're running neck and neck with them in regards to who is growing more facial hair in a week, you've lost them. of course, there's also the huge differences in life experiences, music and educational things, the things you enjoy doing, the people and environment that you enjoy being in/around, even the differences in eating schedules and bed-times change things. i've found that older men tend to hold onto younger women longer than older women hang on to younger men; but that's just what i've encountered. From the older man/younger woman perspective (I'm half his age): He doesn't have an issue getting it up, and we have a comparable sex drive. He's not as fit as he used to be, but I still find him incredibly sexy. Could I find someone more in shape? Absolutely - but I'm happy with him. The grass may be greener on the other side but if I'm happy now, why should I care? If anyone thinks of anything comparable to growing hair, I'll be happy to respond. We eat about the same foods, but at different times. It works out. We both have insomnia and tend to sleep about 5 hours a night, but we don't sleep the same hours - he gets tired around 12 and gets up at 5, whereas I fall asleep around 4 and get up at 9. It works out. Neither of us has ever been with someone with the same sleeping pattern. We both enjoy blues, classic rock, and some hip-hop. We have similar taste in movies. He's more educated but we do share interests and we can hold a conversation. Of course we don't have the same life experiences, but we can relate experiences. We don't share all our interests - I like poetry, he likes poker - but I wouldn't want to be attached at the hip 24/7. I don't want to date someone so like me that I know their responses immediately, and I'd rather not be with someone who agrees with me constantly. There can definitely be a skewed power dynamic (in a bad way) and younger people are typically easier to take advantage of. I have been taken advantage of in such a way in a situation - in retrospect I'd hardly call it a relationship - with a similar age difference. I understand the hesitance in accepting Dating someone 20 years older - or younger- is not the norm, but it CAN work. I'm not dating him because of his age. I'm dating him because I like HIM. I'm holding onto him just as much as he's holding on to me [sm=friends.gif]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 3:13:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FamilyofM I was just hoping to hear from any people here who are in relationships where there is a rather large age difference. My sub is half my age. It is not a problem for either of us though I do find myself at times wondering what the future holds as he matures. If there are folks out there in such a relationship that has stood "the test of time" as it were I'd love to hear from you. What you feel helped keep things on track, or whatever it is you may wish to share. Many thanks to all who comment. Cheers! Difficult to say. Of the 4 long-term submissives I've had, the first three were 10 years or more younger than I was and the last was 6 months younger than I was. Though each relationship lasted between 18 mos and 32 mos., none of them survived. I have to note that age was not an issue except in what were, for us, minor issues except in one instance...My first submissive was 21 years younger than I was. I was 45 and she was 24. At the time, my kids were 15 and 12 so she is closer in age to them than she is to me...and sometimes, it showed. But...we lasted for 2 years, only breaking up because of her interest in being a femdominant and because she's reached a point in her relationship with her husband that she felt she had to be there in continuous support of his career endeavors and in trying to have a child. With the other two who were younger, our break-ups stemmed not from age differences but other problems detailed on here in other threads. I tend to look at the person more than the age and how I relate to them as well as they to me.

willbeurdaddy -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 3:58:59 PM)
The "test of time" is really not a measure. In Daddy/dau relationships with a large age difference there isnt much of an expectation of a very long term relationship/marriage to begin with. The younger of the two is really just growing and maturing, and part of the role of a Daddy/Dom is to enable and assist that growth to the point where she is independent...much like a real father's responsibility. My first relationship I was 49, she was 27 and that had the possibility of being a pretty long term but circumstances got in the way after 3+ years. We are still good friends despite the major distance. In the second I was 54 she was 21 when we met. That was a more casual and non-exclusive relationship on both our parts and we did not live together but saw each other quite often, probably about 1/4 of the time in the beginning, a bit less after I relocated. That "lasted" 4 years, at least to the last time we were together, and I have no doubt that we will be again. My current lg is 25, Im 59. This is actually our second time together, having met 2 years ago and her living with me for about 8 months until she had to relocate. She just returned to the area and we are working out what makes the most sense...but back to the time thing, I wouldnt expect it to last more than a few years. To me they have met the real "test"...a relationship that satisfied both of us and that evolved to meet needs and circumstances.

SubPet715 -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 8:47:22 PM)
The number one reason a domme usually rejects me is because of age, it is difficult to deal with but that is the truth. Among my age group there are few women who are at the very best learning their dominance. There seems to be a trend that they adopt a persona rather than own up to who they really are, this is the majority as I see it from the site and from experience. So when looking for a domme I don't ever truly look at age, I see similarities and like minded interests that form the foundation of a good relationship. I try to put my best foot forward and show that I am different from those in my age bracket, not at all impetuous or in a state of sub frenzy. There are a good number of preconceived notions I think that go along with being with a younger man, they get attached, needy, things along those terms, so people are reluctant to accept me as a sub for fear that I will be a burden in their lives. While of course that isn't true I see where they are coming from with those feelings and being the person I am I accept it and move on. Pouting or asking why not gets you nowhere and proves them to be right.

Twoshoes -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 8:57:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SubPet715 I try to put my best paw forward and show that I am different from those in my age bracket, not at all impetuous or in a state of sub frenzy. [:D]

SubPet715 -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 9:00:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes quote: ORIGINAL: SubPet715 I try to put my best paw forward and show that I am different from those in my age bracket, not at all impetuous or in a state of sub frenzy. [:D] o_0 Paw? Oh I see...cause i'm a cat... And just like that my quasi serious point is lost in the aether...cause of Colonel CATastrophe

dangerousbeauty1 -> RE: Age differences... (9/1/2010 9:27:14 PM)
Welp..my Husband and partner in crime in BDSM is 20 years older than myself. We don't really focus on the age difference at least not at this time. He is young at heart and I am sometimes wise beyond my years so it meshes well. There are comical moments at times, we have an 18 month old toddler together and more than once when out to dinner or such people have repeatedly mistaken him for Grandpa. We laugh and no biggie to us. Who knows what the case will be in 20 years from now. I wouldn't worry too much about the chronological difference and embrace instead the commonality of the relationship.

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