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RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 5:08:36 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

John is 16 years older than me and it's perfect. He sees me as young (god I love him ;) and fresh and and interesting and I find him incredibly sexy, powerful, dominant and having gained the acumen that men of a certain age with a well traveled life of vast experiences have. His knowledge of the world is as much of a turn on for me as is the fact rather than rushing to get to the "good part" he will warm me up for hours before the finale.

. Depending on whether he is holding a cane or a vibrator it can be either a very good or a very bad thing.

I have always found those rather edgier older experienced men with a certain amount of power to be hugely fucking hot and a turn on for me. Oh yes.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 21

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 8:02:08 AM

onlineDDwhore

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/15/2010
Status: offline

age doesnt matter just personalities do my dominant is much older than i am but it hasnt caused issues

< Message edited by onlineDDwhore -- 9/2/2010 8:04:34 AM >

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 22

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 8:20:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

My mother in law was my father in law's second wife. Over 20 years younger. They had very few friends in common, very different tastes in music. Most of all, at a time when he retired, she was still active and had to give up her business to be with him. But then she became his caregiver and spent her 60's, when she was still active, as a full time nurse. By the time she recovered from both the loss of him and the stress of caregiving, she was old and ill.

She has expressed many regrets about the direction her life took.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 23

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 9:02:13 AM

FamilyofM

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/15/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

The number one reason a domme usually rejects me is because of age, it is difficult to deal with but that is the truth. Among my age group there are few women who are at the very best learning their dominance. There seems to be a trend that they adopt a persona rather than own up to who they really are, this is the majority as I see it from the site and from experience.

So when looking for a domme I don't ever truly look at age, I see similarities and like minded interests that form the foundation of a good relationship. I try to put my best foot forward and show that I am different from those in my age bracket, not at all impetuous or in a state of sub frenzy. There are a good number of preconceived notions I think that go along with being with a younger man, they get attached, needy, things along those terms, so people are reluctant to accept me as a sub for fear that I will be a burden in their lives.

While of course that isn't true I see where they are coming from with those feelings and being the person I am I accept it and move on. Pouting or asking why not gets you nowhere and proves them to be right.

I just took a look at your profile. You are the same age my sub was when we met and yes I was indeed reluctant. I was not even going to reply to his email and then I get a message "I am yours". I of course thought this was madness and wanted nothing to do with him. FAR too young. But, the most amazing thing occurred and I often feel he is my soul mate. He truly is almost the other half of who I am. W/we have so very much in common it still surprises us. I enjoy his company more than anyone else and he is very mature for his age as I presume you are too.

I do want to again thank all who have posted here, I've had a lot to think about but as many have said, I will simply go with my feelings and not worry about the future. W/we are having a wonderful time enjoying our time together and I should be thankful for that.

Take care everyone. Thank you all again.

(in reply to SubPet715)

Post #: 24

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 9:04:16 AM

SubPet715

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FamilyofM

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

The number one reason a domme usually rejects me is because of age, it is difficult to deal with but that is the truth. Among my age group there are few women who are at the very best learning their dominance. There seems to be a trend that they adopt a persona rather than own up to who they really are, this is the majority as I see it from the site and from experience.

So when looking for a domme I don't ever truly look at age, I see similarities and like minded interests that form the foundation of a good relationship. I try to put my best foot forward and show that I am different from those in my age bracket, not at all impetuous or in a state of sub frenzy. There are a good number of preconceived notions I think that go along with being with a younger man, they get attached, needy, things along those terms, so people are reluctant to accept me as a sub for fear that I will be a burden in their lives.

While of course that isn't true I see where they are coming from with those feelings and being the person I am I accept it and move on. Pouting or asking why not gets you nowhere and proves them to be right.

I just took a look at your profile. You are the same age my sub was when we met and yes I was indeed reluctant. I was not even going to reply to his email and then I get a message "I am yours". I of course thought this was madness and wanted nothing to do with him. FAR too young. But, the most amazing thing occurred and I often feel he is my soul mate. He truly is almost the other half of who I am. W/we have so very much in common it still surprises us. I enjoy his company more than anyone else and he is very mature for his age as I presume you are too.

I do want to again thank all who have posted here, I've had a lot to think about but as many have said, I will simply go with my feelings and not worry about the future. W/we are having a wonderful time enjoying our time together and I should be thankful for that.

Take care everyone. Thank you all again.

Your personal experience really bolsters my own feelings for finding a like minded person regardless of age, thank you for that.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to FamilyofM)

Post #: 25

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 9:14:10 AM

LadyDoriBelle

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/1/2010
Status: offline

My pet is 4 years younger than me and though it is technically not a large number; I have always dated older people. It took awhile getting used to the age difference, but in the end, it has proven to be worth while. It was just hard to see someone younger than me having life experience beyond the norm and seeing him understanding how the world works.

(in reply to SubPet715)

Post #: 26

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 10:47:36 AM

D0M1NANT

Posts: 32
Joined: 3/18/2010
Status: offline

My last girl was only 18 when W/we met. She approached Me 2 weeks after her 18th birthday and asked Me to train her into the lifestyle. She took to the training naturally.. It turned out she had known she was a submissive since she was 9 and had been actively studying the lifestyle since she was 13. She begged for My collar 6 months later and I was glad to have her. I turned 41 2 weeks after her 19th birthday, and some did have a problem with the age difference. But that was THEIR issue, not O/ours. I believe that age is a number imposed by society to decide how a person should act at certain stages of their life, nothing more..

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 27

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 11:01:29 AM

LadyDoriBelle

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/1/2010
Status: offline

I agree, society does force the age issue. I had and some times still have to work through the reprogramming.

(in reply to D0M1NANT)

Post #: 28

RE: Age differences... - 9/2/2010 6:39:32 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Master has just turned 39 (even though He keeps saying He's nearly 40!) and i am 54. We have been 24/7 since June 2004, are still very much in love and very happy together. Appearances aren't important to either of us, and i wasn't exactly fair fit and forty when we met, so deterioration isn't an issue LOL! That said, most people take me to be at least 10 years younger than i really am which i can only attribute to never having had kids! That was an issue well discussed when we first met as they are just not possible. He had a previous g/f with 4 ... so He was well over that! Master still looks like the rock guitarist He is with long hair, but the white ones are taking over His beard, so we don't look the full difference in age that we are. That said, i am only about 5 years younger than His parents, but they have accepted me as the person who has brought more happiness to their son than anyone else. i really feel part of the family and no one makes a fuss about the ages. i even call His Dad "Dad", His Dad looked a bit surprised the first time, so we talked about it. i explained that my own Dad is long dead, Master naturally refers to him as Dad all the time, and so it feels natural to me. Dad's quite happy ... and gets all teary when i make him Dad's day cards.

Luckily so far, no problem with lubrication though i keep warning Him that eventually it will happen and i won't just go soggy at the sight of His erection LOL! We keep a tube of lube handy anyway for anal, so it won't be a big deal when it happens. And as for chin hairs ... well, it's one of His favourite nightly activities to don an LED headlamp and grab the tweezers ... makes me go all spacy, though not if He goes after the dark mustache ones, ouch!

Things in common? Way more than either of my 2 hubbies, similar tastes in foods, music (though my taste is broader than His, we cope), films, TV, things to see (He doesn't mind fossil museums and cemeteries!) and we both adore our furbabies. We are now travelling together full time, and that's a real problem for a lot of couples, but we are very happy ... just wish for more money!

So, i believe it CAN happen, and can be for the long term as long as the compatability is there. We already know that in the future, physical infirmity will strike me long before it does Him, and He accepts that eventually He will be looking after me rather than vice versa. We joke about Him getting me a "gopher" (motorized transport) and hotting it up! Already He will get up to get something to save my legs ... we just joke about not wearing out the young one too soon! We both know what happened to my Mum is likely to happen to me ... which is why we are doing the travelling now while i can. And He's already thinking about how He could modify the entry to the van to include a little lift in the future! So we are very grounded in reality ... and determined to cross the bridges as they arise and to make it work.

Of course, now all I need to do is to attract a young fit sub who can handle the whole situation and put his strength to good use in return for the Domination he needs!

Good luck OP!! In many ways, Your situation is more "natural" with the Dominant being the elder!
Maam Jay though this post was mostly from violet[A]!

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to LadyDoriBelle)

Post #: 29

RE: Age differences... - 9/3/2010 8:40:18 AM

FamilyofM

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/15/2010
Status: offline

I am happy that at least no one mistakes us for mother and son, unless he were adopted. He has blue eyes, I don't. Reading all the replies has been very informative. Though I can see it does seem to lean more toward older man/younger woman.

Thank you again everyone.

Cheers!

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 30

RE: Age differences... - 9/3/2010 9:27:07 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

My Master is eight years younger than myself (I am 32, he is 24). But we fit together better than many men I have dated the same age as myself or older. He has often told me I have ruined him for younger women, because he never knew an older woman could be as amazing as I am. We have very similar interests and passions, our kinks are almost perfectly aligned, and we have similar life goals. We have been together for nine months now, and while that is not very long in the grand scheme of things, I have been more content and happy in this relationship than any other in my entire life. He 'gets' me in a way no one else ever has. I definitely have more life experience, but he's very open to absorbing everything I can teach him about what life offers. :) Being open-minded is the key for us.

I occasionally have issue getting wet, mostly due to having very sensitive skin that dries in the air VERY quickly. But on the few occasions that happens, we either use lube or he simply works me over a bit longer, drawing out foreplay until I'm sopping. When he really gets me going, I flood. It's not an issue now, and I cannot see it ever being an issue even if it was more frequent. Lube is a wonderful thing, and not all pre-menopausal women just get wet at the snap of a finger, lol.

We're both realistic about our personal challenges and drawbacks, neither of us views the other as perfect. I take care of my Master just as he takes care of me, whenever we are in need of it. We consider ourselves 24/7 lifestyle, as I always submit to him and take his lead. But he also listens when he knows that I likely have more experience with a particular life challenge and appreciates my insight and intelligence. Final decision remains his, but he always listens. :)

(in reply to FamilyofM)

Post #: 31

RE: Age differences... - 9/3/2010 9:51:15 PM

OwnedFreedom

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/17/2009
From: My place?
Status: offline

I personally feel that age is just a number and such its a man made thing so it automatically has flaw. Age is but a form of control with good reason for somethings, but others are just lame

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Watch in Awe;Fly in glory

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 32

RE: Age differences... - 9/3/2010 10:11:33 PM

inkSecret

Posts: 83
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FamilyofM

I was just hoping to hear from any people here who are in relationships where there is a rather large age difference. My sub is half my age. It is not a problem for either of us though I do find myself at times wondering what the future holds as he matures. If there are folks out there in such a relationship that has stood "the test of time" as it were I'd love to hear from you. What you feel helped keep things on track, or whatever it is you may wish to share. Many thanks to all who comment. Cheers!

All relationships have their obstacles

His youth and your age will have it's own obstacles, but at the same time will avoid obstacles

One obstacle is that he may feel distant from you because of age. If he has a social life it'll be difficult to click together in cultures
But if he doesn't really care about his culture or you care about his a lot, that won't be a problem

When I was sixteen, I was actually with a woman who was fourty years old and we had this problem
But we still had things that brought us together.
And I was never really in touch with my own peers anyway.

What might be a problem is if he becomes too energetic for you.

_____________________________

Stop asking questions only you can answer
There's no standard to adhere to
We dominate and submit as we choose

You can't ask us
What's right for me?
We're not you

Decide your level of involvement
Find yourself
It's your decision

(in reply to FamilyofM)

Post #: 33

RE: Age differences... - 9/4/2010 2:06:44 AM

sarahcupcake

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/27/2009
Status: offline

my last ex was 38 when we started and i was 21. personally i don't think age is an issue, i happen to always have gone for older people. i think i feel more secure with them, they tend to be more interesting, they do more and they don't want to just go out wiv the sole purpose of getting trashed. i think the most important thing is the person themselves as opposed to their age.

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 34

RE: Age differences... - 9/4/2010 4:30:35 AM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

My first Dom, husband, father of my children (all rolled into the same man) was over 20 years older than me. We simply thought age is a number and what you make of it. He wasn't what we conisder to be middle age when he passed away. Which is really here nor there except for me to say that I've been attracted to older men, but maybe not so much older now that I've gotten older. But age has never been an issue to me ... it is what it is. I have neighbors down the street .. he just turned 82 and she just turned 60. They've been together for over 40 years .. kind of unique I know, but they certainly beat the "age difference - it will never work line".

(in reply to sarahcupcake)

Post #: 35

RE: Age differences... - 9/4/2010 8:48:45 AM

sophiesback

Posts: 4039
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

he's half your age, or less than half if i may ask?

when menopause kicks in and hrt's are out of the question, you need lube all the time because you can't just get wet naturally, they take it personally...

when you exercise your ass off, haven't gained a pound in 10 or more years, but your body tone went down the toilet, again, menopause related, you lose their attention...

when you're running neck and neck with them in regards to who is growing more facial hair in a week, you've lost them.

of course, there's also the huge differences in life experiences, music and educational things, the things you enjoy doing, the people and environment that you enjoy being in/around, even the differences in eating schedules and bed-times change things.

i've found that older men tend to hold onto younger women longer than older women hang on to younger men; but that's just what i've encountered.

As a woman who is POST menopause, I have to tell you that you are way off the mark with this. There's this thing called LOVE and if it's real then they're not going to mind that you're having to go have things waxed, or that you have to exercise a bit more. I've lost 37 pounds this year and firmed up ALOT of what I had been letting go because I was so stressed out with my job/health/early menopause. I have never had to lube up because I couldn't get wet. If you take care of yourself, it shows.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Goof
30 Fluffy points

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 36

RE: Age differences... - 9/4/2010 2:30:15 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

Master is 26 years older than I am and I have never had more in common with another human being. We have been together nearly 5 years now (married for more than 2 of those) and, at this point, nothing about our ages has been a problem. I've found if you are truly compatible with someone on many levels, age really means nothing when you look at the big picture. Will he get infirm? Will it be waaaaay before I do? What will life bring? Blah, blah, blah. Who knows?

I know quite elderly folks who are way healthier than younger ones. Assuming that just because someone gets old that they'll get sick and need you as a round-the-clock nursemaid is really kind of ignorant. It might happen but then again it might not. I'm not going to waste this valuable time we do have together happily and healthily to worry and whine about what MIGHT be some day. That's just wrong and wasteful, imho.

Our age difference has enhanced our relationship in many ways rather than ever being a hinderance or an obstacle. I think many other couples can say the same. My advice, for what it's worth, is to enjoy life now - whatever your ages - and don't let the naysayers give you a negative slant on it. It can be - and has been for us - wonderful

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to FamilyofM)

Post #: 37

RE: Age differences... - 9/4/2010 3:38:54 PM

bellesoumise

Posts: 258
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I've been in a wonderful relationship with a woman who was twice my age. It was that relationship that help me understand that there was more to us than an age gap.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FamilyofM

I was just hoping to hear from any people here who are in relationships where there is a rather large age difference. My sub is half my age. It is not a problem for either of us though I do find myself at times wondering what the future holds as he matures. If there are folks out there in such a relationship that has stood "the test of time" as it were I'd love to hear from you. What you feel helped keep things on track, or whatever it is you may wish to share. Many thanks to all who comment. Cheers!

(in reply to FamilyofM)

Post #: 38

RE: Age differences... - 9/7/2010 5:03:41 PM

gonnabear

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline

there is 12 years between me and my Dom. we have been together for 20 years.

(in reply to dangerousbeauty1)

Post #: 39

RE: Age differences... - 9/7/2010 8:37:18 PM

SubPet715

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline

The only problem I have come across is just very recent.

I have not sent a message out to a domme for a few days as I have been busy with work, 12 hour days and the like, anyway...
They message me with adulation on my diction or my new profile photo and when I respond to them i'm often treated as if I am a clingy little kid. My last response to someone saying "nice pic, real cute" was..."Thank you, I wasn't sure about it but reading that from you is a real confidence booster".

I'm not sure what went through her mind but she then responded "A thank you would have been enough" and I was a tad insulted. Because I tried to reply with something to query as to why she responded that way and I was blocked, not really sure why...

My only guess was that she thought I wanted to start something or that I had some plan in mind, people are just odd that way...perhaps i'm dwelling too much on this.
The only reason I put it here was that she was 43, so I may just be nitpicking but it sure did stick in my mind all day.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to gonnabear)

Post #: 40

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