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Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 1:56:27 AM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		For several years as a slave I was convinced that I choose to remain a slave due to some mental illness of some sort. At one point about 2 years ago I wrote a journal post about how I viewed my commitment to slavery as a symptom of having an odd sort of Stockholm Syndrome. I battled with this idea vs the idea that I was just " Internally enslaved". It took a long time for me to realize that the definition of internal enslavement closely paralleled the definition of Stockholm Syndrome.

In order for a " Master" to internally enslave a slave they aim to develop practical techniques which use detailed examination of a slave's thoughts, emotions, physical comfort/ well being and past experiences to establish and maintain a solid and inescapable state of ownership. This is achieved through control of the slave's psychological states. The slave comes to think of their very life being a gift from the Master and seeing him as having the right to revoke that right. The slave comes to rely on their owner for the very basic necessities in life.

Whereas, Stockholm syndrome is a psychological shift that occurs in captives when they are threatened gravely but are shown acts of kindness by their captors. Captives who exhibit the syndrome tend to sympathize with and think highly of their captors. When subjected to prolonged captivity, these captives can develop a strong bond with their captors, in some cases including a sexual interest.Psychiatrist Frank Ochburg, widely credited with Stockholm Syndrome's psychiatric definition, describes it as "a primitive gratitude for the gift of life," not unlike that felt by an infant.According to the psychoanalytic view of the syndrome, this tendency might be the result of employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will enable—at the very least—the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a good parental figure.

It is said that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I can see that the widely accepted methods of training a consensual slave is with a goal of achieving " Internal Enslavement". Once a slave is internally enslaved they no longer have the mental ability to walk away from their owner. They simply do not even see the possibility of existence outside of their Masters control. They rely on their Master to provide everything for them and be their everything. They feel gracious for every small gift they are given and they lose all feelings of entitlement. I.e. I do not have the right to eat, sleep, live, breathe, move, work, learn, feel, or serve unless my Master gives it to me. They are helpless... just as an infant waiting to suckle from their mothers breast. Thus, a slave feels thankful and grateful for the basics of life; food, water, shelter, affection,etc.

Both syndromes produce a victim who firmly believe that the relationship is not only acceptable but also desperately needed for their survival. They both develop involuntarily. Both syndromes develop in an attempt to exist and survive in a threatening and controlling environment and/or relationship. The more dysfunctional a situation becomes the more dysfunctional our adaptation and thoughts become in order for us to be able to survive.

It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness. It is a main goal within the realm of M/s and seen as being an accomplishment. A slave who reaches a state of " Internal Enslavement" is seen as having transcended basic slavery and being fully enslaved.

I can look back and detain the smallest things that drew in intensity until huge things finally seemed small. These things brought me to that place of Internal Enslavement/ Stockholm Syndrome. Lucky for me I was able to recognize, through introspection and the study of psychology what was happening inside me. For years I struggled to break free of the belief that I couldn't exist outside of my collar...and one day I finally took that step because surviving was no longer important to me. I just wanted the hurt, anger, guilt, and frustration to end. Little did I know, removing myself from the situation that caused the mental defect would be the first step toward recovery.

Stockholm syndrome is treated by first removing the victim from captivity and the second is time and patience. In time the victim will begin to see how they fit into the free world and will move through the process of grieving.....

1. Denial and Isolation : When I first left my collar I wanted to withdraw from the world and hide. I couldn't believe that this was where my choices and life had left me. I felt so alone and wanted to be even more alone. I wanted the world to stop turning and life to cease.

2. Anger: I went through several days when I felt so much anger and frustration that I couldn't even begin to think clearly. I was angry and hurt that I had to give up and give in and that he had driven me to that point. Hatred swirled within me and reason and logic were not to be found.

3. Bargaining: The next thing I did is start trying to convince myself that I shouldn't have walked away. I started telling myself that if he would do certain small things that I could accept other things. I started telling myself that if I saw certain things happen I could give it another chance and telling myself that things were not really as bad as I made them out to be. I started convincing myself that I didn't need to be happy that just being complacent was really the best that people could honestly hope for.

4. Depression: This is where I am now. I feel numb; anger and sadness reside just below the surface but mostly I am just numb. I am tired of thinking and feeling and I just exist where this loss is concerned. I know I am not alone, and no longer wish to hide forever from the world. I no longer question my decision and second guess myself making bargains with myself about settling in my life for less than I deserve. I know that the final stage of grief lies just beyond the bend and for now I ride out this wave.

5. Acceptance: It lies ahead waiting to embrace me in it's arms. I just have to find the strength and the will and make that leap...I know it will happen when it is time. For now I am in the second stage of recovery from my defect; I removed myself from the situation. Now I give it time and patience and slowly my eyes open and see the world, and my place therein in a whole new light.

~ Maggi

< Message edited by Surrenderwithin -- 9/5/2010 2:00:04 AM >

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:39:51 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I definitely see what you are saying, but the intent is unclear.

To wit, you were a slave, now you are not, and you are readjusting to your not-ness. This I gather.

But were you ever content to be a slave? If you were, there appeared to be a moment in time (an event, perhaps) where that contentedness disappeared and you felt that leaving was in your best interest.

I think for some, the mindset that 'If I no longer have value for you, then what value do I have?' exists. Whether this is instilled in you (figuratively, not necessarily specifically to the OP) or whether this is a feeling that grows from within is an important distinction, in my opinion.

Jeff

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 4:20:54 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting post but then I am fascinated by human psychology!
In most Dominant/submissive situations, we don't fear for our lives and our dominant is not our captor but we often become dependent and we are often treated with 'the iron glove technique'.
Could it be, in situations like you described, that 'Stockholm Syndrome' is already a trait ?
Did the parents or one of the parents of this submissive raise the child with an iron glove? did the child become hugely dependent and emotionally imprisoned by one particular parent? Did the child then grow up, break away but subconsciously look for a partner that could bring this trait back out?

I have met submissives that need to feel wretched before they can feel good. Where did this come from? how did it begin?

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 5:37:13 AM   
exploringsiren


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

For years I struggled to break free of the belief that I couldn't exist outside of my collar...and one day I finally took that step because surviving was no longer important to me. I just wanted the hurt, anger, guilt, and frustration to end. Little did I know, removing myself from the situation that caused the mental defect would be the first step toward recovery.


I would ask what positive things were happening within your enslavement and what negative things. Master always emphasizes the positive in life. He wants positive things for me. This is actually one of the reasons I have become so attached to him. I have no hurt, anger, guilt or frustration within our relationship. I mean, there are times I get annoyed or have negative feelings, but they pass when we talk about it. Nothing negative lingers.

So perhaps negativity within your relationship is what caused you to pull away and equate IE with a mental illness, rather than the general practice of IE. I find my enslavement comforting, not mentally distressing.

I sympathize with your efforts to recover.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 6:24:31 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness. It is a main goal within the realm of M/s and seen as being an accomplishment. A slave who reaches a state of " Internal Enslavement" is seen as having transcended basic slavery and being fully enslaved.


Wow... I can appreciate that you are hurting and are probably wanting to view your past relationship in the most negative light as possible in order to distance yourself from it. However, painting M/s relationships with the broad negative brush is really sad.

I am not a slave to him because I have a mental illness. I am a slave to him because I have no other natural response to him exercising authority. He has never sought to make me dependent on him for anything much less the 'basic necessities of life' and yet I can no more walk away from this relationship that he can. Our relationship fulfills all three of us in ways that we have no desire to have any other life.

Internal enslavement is a result of who I am not a result of a mental defect he has contrived.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 7:43:15 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		It is always sad when one sees a potential train wreck in the making but their is nothing one can do to stop it. It is as clear to me now as it was before that your understanding and beliefs of how to have a Healthy M/s dynamic is lacking. It is all the more unfortunate since it result in the train wreck that you find yourself in.

I always find it amazing that people like to put things in stages when people are little more complex than that. In fact, it's more like a path with many lanes that you keep switch from lane to lane as you continue on your given path. I see much denial in your post and anger is rather obvious. Bargaining can also be stated as rationalizing and this is something you are doing in spades. Rationalizing why you made those choices. In fact, your rationalizing seems to be minimizing your own responsibilities on the train wreck you found yourself in. I have no doubt that you feel deeply saddened by what has happen in your life but lashing out at M/s dynamics as whole is not going to bring you to acceptance. But it sure to bring you to bitterment.

yes.. my comments are harsh and many would see as heartless. But frankly, I see way to many that take paths that are ultimately dooms of failure regardless what common sense tells us. It is truly unfortunate what you have experienced and even more unfortunate that you are not alone with such an experience. It is equally complicated by the fact that this is not about weak people or even predators that cause such experiences to occur. Some very well meaning people on both sides of the coin find themselves in such train wrecks. I don't think we can point to one given cause to such train wrecks even though it seems to be the natural reaction to cast blame outward when things go badly.

You imply that you are grieving... but what exactly is it that you are grieving? A lost to a bad relationship? Or is it something within yourself? Maybe it's more the grieving of a lost to realizing the expectations you had going into this relationship. I think when we realize that we don't have to give up our expecations of joy, happiness and love in a relationship we find hope for the future. The lost of a relationship is not the end of our dreams and hopes unless we choose it to be. We sit in a room lit by a light bulb because a man chose not to give up on his hopes and dreams even though he found many ways not to make a light bulb work. What matters is finding the one way to makes that light bulb work.

_____________________________

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 8:07:15 AM   
LadyEternity


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/25/2010
Status: offline 		I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. In 2000 I was kept a prisoner for 6 months by a very sick sociopath who called himself a dominant. When I say a prisoner I mean, behind barred windows, locked doors and tied to a bed and gagged when he was not there. No unmonitored phone calls, no computer, and alot of very horrible abuse - the details of which I won't torture any of you with. When I was finally rescued by the blessed, wonderful local police and started working with the D.A. to prosecute, I was diagnosed by the court shrink with Stockholm syndrome. You are very right about the psychological conditioning and the emotions and processes that it takes for a captor/abuser to set up a response in their victim that makes them afraid to seek escape. It is terrifying and horrible. You come to believe that your life hinges on making this person happy. You will do anything for them in response to that belief, even as you hate them to your very depths, your life becomes consumed by the desire to see one smile, receive one compliment, get one small moment of . . . you pleased me, you may live today.

In comparison, I have been my wife's slave for 5 years. Now, I list here as a dominant because that is the role I am seeking to fulfill with others at this time. However, I do belong in complete enslavement to my wife. I am utterly enslaved to her. However, i am not imprisoned by her emotionally or physically. I cannot comprehend leaving her, not because I fear her, or life alone, but because I cannot comprehend happiness without her. My life itself doesn't depend on her happiness, although in some ways our relationship does. I'm not forced to please her out of any sense of fear. I honestly don't and can't believe that even the deepest enslavement when done by a loving Dominant takes away anything from a slave. I depend on my Mistress wife for food, shelter, transport, health care, and right now while I'm in temporary bed rest, I depend on her just to get to the toliet and back. I had to depend on the Abuser for that too, but the ramifications are vastly different. An Owner will want a strong, smart and capable slave, while an Abuser/Captor will want a weak, mentally frail and dependant one.

And like Kyra said, in a strong and healthy M/s relationship, the Owner cannot walk away from the slave anymore than the slave can. Too much time and love and effort is placed into sculpting the slave. An Abuser/Captor doesn't care, he can discard the victim, or even the victim's life and simply replace it with someone else, because there is no emotion vested from the Abuser's end.

Please know, OP, that I went through the same thoughts you did. For a few years I fought my need to be in this lifestyle tooth and nail, convinced after the abuse that I had some sort of defect leading me to seek to be dominated, or to dominate others. I tried to convince myself that it was all abusive and that my need for it made me weak. I was lucky enough to find a kink friendly therapist who helped me over come those thoughts. Then I found my wife. I have been utterly happy with her, I feel cared for and protected and safe. That is the primary difference to me.

If you feel that your situation closely modeled a Stockholm causing situation, then may I please suggest that you find a kink friendly therpaist ASAP?

Lady Eternity

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 9:20:23 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin
Both syndromes produce a victim who firmly believe that the relationship is not only acceptable but also desperately needed for their survival. They both develop involuntarily.


Being a slave isn't the same as being a captive.  One is clearly a victim by circumstance, the other is there through choice in the beginning at the very least. removing the involuntary status you suggest. 

As much as someone internally enslaved may believe their master is crucial to their survival, there have been cases where the death of the dominant has provided evidence that this isn't the case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin
It occurs to me now that world of BDSM, specifically M/s, encourages and supports the idea of intentionally causing another person to develop a mental defect. They take a person who willingly submits their will and forces them to remain by removing their ability to leave and binding them with the chains of mental illness.


You take consent and turn it into force, internal enslavement turns into mental illness, too much of a stretch methinks.  Perhaps this is your personal experience, but it certainly doesn't fall in line with mine.  One of my master's duties is to care for my well-being, including my mental health... your hypotheses negates this. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin
I just wanted the hurt, anger, guilt, and frustration to end.

Perhaps you do see yourself as a victim in this situation, but it has nothing to do with IE.  I can also understand the process of wanting to attach a label to your situation.  Sadly I think you are barking up the wrong tree.

A bird with feathers that floats on a lake isn't always a duck. Stockholm Syndrome and IE do have some similar outcomes, but they are not the same.  The major difference is consent, one uses is, one discards it.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 9:27:25 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		So is the point of this entire post an argument that you are not responsible for your failed relationship because you were internally enslaved which is just like Stockholm syndrome?

If that's what you were driving at, you have a lot, lot of work to do.

Thanks though, this post just gave me yet another reason to think that internal enslavement is nuts.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 10:39:05 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Several thoughts about your post, in no particular order....

Re: Internal Enslavement - I think there ARE many cases like what you have described.  I have read about them on various discussion boards and I experienced it myself in the past.  The owner uses his/her knowledge of the slave's mental and emotional state to manipulate the slave's thoughts and feelings, to the point where the slave simply can not see existence outside of the master.  To me, this is manipulated IE, and not something that would otherwise occur naturally, like kyra has described of herself.  This manipulated IE is not a practice I condone.  When my relationship abruptly ended, it was quite traumatic for me.  He who was my center (at his own manipulating) no longer was.  Poof.  Now what?

But here's the thing. In the last 6 months of that relationship I knew - more and more each day - that I should leave it.  But I "couldn't."  Why couldn't I?  I suppose it was because of my belief that I couldn't leave.  That I shouldn't leave. That a "real slave" doesn't have that choice.  That I couldn't function without him.  That I would "try harder" and take whatever I needed to, and remain, even if totally and utterly miserable.

This was different than the marriage I left, where I actually experienced the bargaining you wrote about.  But my marriage wasn't an IE situation. 

The thing is, though, when all is said and done, the ONLY way for me to heal and move forward, was to look inward.  I remember during my divorce, my therapist telling me "At some point you're going to have to be accountable for your part in this" and my reply was something to the effect of "What?? Fuck you!!  What's my part?  I was the victim here!!" 

It was only months later I sat in his office, crying, saying, "Why was it OK with me to be treated like that?"  The light went off.  Thunder clapped.  OK thunder didn't actually clap.  But it was a really profound moment for me.  That moment changed my way of thinking, going forward.

But in both relationships, the only way I could move forward was to cut off all connection with the other person, and to look internally, acknowledge my allowance of what occurred (which kind of fucked with my head for a bit, because slaves don't "allow" stuff, blah blah blah).  In the end, I chose those relationships.  And for whatever reason, I chose to remain in them for the time that I did.  And I chose to consent to the things that were happening to me.  Period.  That was my accountability.

So what next? You learn about yourself.  You learn what you're willing to accept in the future and what you're not.  You choose future relationships MUCH differently.  You acknowledge the way you deserve to be treated by yourself, and you put yourself in healthier situations.  Because in the end, it all comes down to you.  And me.  It all comes down to, Do I love myself?  How do I want to treat myself?  What kinds of people are healthy for me and what are not?  What relationship would suit me best?  And so on...

There is no "World of BDSM" that advocates behavior types.  There are individuals who make choices for themselves - and in any world of individuals, you will find all walks of life - those that resonate agreeably with you, and those that don't. 

The cool thing is, we get to pick what our path is going forward.

I do wish you healing.  I know it's not easy. But it's doable.


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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 2:07:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		As far as I can tell the op is claiming she got into a bad relationship but it wasn't her fault. Instead the dom brainwashed her.

Sorry honey, you chose him, you need to own your responsibility. Which includes picking someone who prefers to somehow put someone is a state where they feel they have no way out instead of picking someone who makes you recognize daily what a wonderful partner he is and whom you can't ever see hitting the relationship lottery again like this.


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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 2:30:50 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		FR to the OP...funny, i can see a lot of myself and my relationship in your descriptions and definitions. according to you, i would be "internally enslaved." however this was not something deliberately manipulated by my Owner, nor something either of us saw as a laudable goal. rather it was the inevitable result of the intertwining of my nature and his. there is no life for me outside of HIM, and being his. i am dependent upon him for all the basic necessities of life...food, shelter, clothing, external mental stimulation, etc. yes, my life is his. and yes, i am grateful for absolutely every privilege he grants me, including the one to live.

but that is where you and i diverge drastically Surrenderwithin. because this is not "mental defect," this is just slavery. for those not wired to need and desire such a way of life, then yes it would be hell. yes, they need to run like heck and find their way out. but for those like me, it is the most beautiful and only fulfilling way to go about this life's journey.

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:00:28 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline 		Greetings ~Maggi:

I read your very long well thought out Op. I will reply with the following:

It sounds like you did not listen to your instincts and allowed yourself to relate in a manner that is unnatural for yourself. I would not be so quick to term your choice as some form of mental disorder. Instead it sounds like you need to simply respect yourself in way that you chose to ignore/deny which produced your current grief-filled results. Do understand that your perspective on Internal Enslavement is not how all others define the term. Perhaps you will think before you allow yourself to engage in a way that you did in the situation that you spoke of removing yourself from.

Internal Enslavement freely enhances what is naturally expressed thus results in beauty in the life of those who find Internal Enslavement to be quite natural. Understand that the grief process is a result of all losses. I am truly sorry to hear of this loss you suffer. It sounds like you are grieving a loss of your expectation in some sorts. A loss that you did not know you would feel in giving of yourself as you did in a way that clearly sounds to not be natural for yourself.

I genuinely encourage you to reassess your motive prior to yielding your heart, mind, soul and body to another. Give only what you are willing to offer and do so without shame! Perhaps then you will find joy and beauty resulting in your choices & grief being but ashes driven to the winds from a valuable lesson learned, aye!

Take good care of you!

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:02:48 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Firstly, how the hell can you equate Stockholm syndrome to anything that is consensual?  You obviously do not know the mechanics of Stockholm syndrome which is triggered by the unpredictable or irrational behavior of an abusive captor in a non-consensual environment, where the captive gets feelings of love or adulation when they mistake their lack of abuse for affection.  I think you have an over active imagination.

Secondly, I believe in TPE/internal enslavement. . . however, I disagree with you and the Internal Enslavement web site that says an owner can create a "solid and inescapable state of ownership".  In all consensual slavery, it is the slave that must take responsibility for their condition and stand accountable because it was and always will be their choice.  I have long said that the next collar I give out, I will make the slave put it on themselves so they acknowledge the reality of our relationship style and roles.  I do not keep the slave, she chooses to stay voluntarily. 
~~~~~~~~~~
I believe in the applied use of extreme BDSM and 'mind fucks' to create danger and risk . . . which 'shocks' submissives and inspires faith when they survive.  Friends over the years have often commented and had discussions about whether or not my slaves loved me because they suffer from Stockholm syndrome.  However, like you, they did not know the definition of Stockholm syndrome.  I may inspire shock and stress to desensitize a slave and inspire faith, creating a stronger bond but, it is not Stockholm syndrome...  it's a just a method using extremes to impress my presence, a point, perspective or lesson as deeply as I can upon the slave I am training.


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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:11:01 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Knight of Mists and kyra pretty much beat me to the punch here, but I would add that this seems like a false dilemma- slaves are either victims of Stockholm Syndrome or victims of devious mental manipulation.

Some women enjoy their service because they admire and adore the men who lead them.

But this also points to one of the things I see regularly in BDSM, which is the tendency to promote our relationships as being exotic and odd, extreme and taboo.

Therefore simply following your Dominant out of love and adoration is dismissed in favor of the dark Svengali model, that wanting to please your man in every way is not extreme enough, not Real and True enough, and it must be recast into something just-this-side of mental illness.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:39:22 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yes AR... to that whole post... yes. I am grateful every single day that Carol and I do not have any BDSM images in our heads that we are trying to create.... no mind control, no "helpless submissive futiley beating her hands against my chest before surrendering in submission", no "force". It's just her and me doing what we do.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AnimusRex)
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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 3:55:50 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		I suppose it's incredibly unhelpful to both the OP and all of you if I add that stockholm syndrome turns me on?

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RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 5:11:28 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

mstrjx

But were you ever content to be a slave? If you were, there appeared to be a moment in time (an event, perhaps) where that contentedness disappeared and you felt that leaving was in your best interest.

quote:



There was a time that I was very content to be a slave. I was happy, well adjusted, and had eyes- wide open. As to where/ when/ specific event that took place... No, that is the point, though. That shift was slow and methodical. It happened so slowly that I never realized it was happening.

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 5:13:41 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Could it be, in situations like you described, that 'Stockholm Syndrome' is already a trait ?
Did the parents or one of the parents of this submissive raise the child with an iron glove? did the child become hugely dependent and emotionally imprisoned by one particular parent? Did the child then grow up, break away but subconsciously look for a partner that could bring this trait back out?


Yes, it certainly could be a trait that you have a natural proclivity to fall into. I think that abusers in general choose thier prey carefully and pick ones who exhibit the vulnerabilities they seek. A person could be inclined toward dependancy and guilt because of many different things. It certainly could be related to thier childhood, core personality, or simply the experiences thus far in thier life.



_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Internal Enslavement Vs Stockholm Syndrome - 9/5/2010 5:16:26 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

So perhaps negativity within your relationship is what caused you to pull away and equate IE with a mental illness, rather than the general practice of IE. I find my enslavement comforting, not mentally distressing.

I sympathize with your efforts to recover.


Of course it is a result of the negative things that were occuring in my TPE, otherwise I never would have arrived at the conclusions that I have. However, I geralize it because I see the same types of things happening in most other IE/ TPE situations I have observed or read about.

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to exploringsiren)
Profile   Post #: 20
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