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How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 3:20:45 PM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

Hello Mistresses,
I was just curious as to how much general information you decide your sub/slave need's to know ..
ie; you go on holiday do you tell your sub/slave ?
ie; you will not be needed this weekend etc
This is mainly aimed at those who are not within a 24/7 dynamic..

What i'm trying to ask is basically if you do not need your sub/slave for whatever reason/time period do you let them know so they can plan "other" thing's or are they alway's on a sort of "standby" to serve you...

Many thank's...

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

Post #: 1

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 3:42:05 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I'd rather we plan things together and spend time together,
but alas, knowing that isn't always possible,
I do like to consistently keep in contact though so that we both know what the other is doing.

< Message edited by Proprietrix -- 4/22/2006 4:29:08 PM >

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 2

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 3:55:00 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

How much do you tell your girlfriend/boyfriend.

Yes I've noticed it common now to have these D/s relationships without the actual "relationship" part, but what most people think after watching a few programs on TV and visiting some colorful websites, is that this is still a relationship.

Unless the arrangement is purely on the bassis of the D/s part, then its like any other. You meet, you grow fond of eachother and you spend time together.

Most people watch too many movies.
And frankly the communities, online and off are suffering greatly for it. Just read the threads in this forum for more than a few months and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Its a farce.

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Post #: 3

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:00:01 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

No matter what level of relationship it was, I would have the simple courtesy to let my sub/slave know my plans. If I was going to be away from them for a time but wished them to be on "standby" as you put it (cute), I would inform them of that, and in fact use that to enhance our D/s status/relationship, 'cause why not? In fact, that could be kinda fun, right off the top of my head I can think of a dozen directives for my submissive while I'm going to be away.... <evil grin>

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 4

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:00:16 PM

MsDominiquenz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

I wouldnt dream of wasting a subs time, just as he wont waste mine.
I think its only fair that the- not -live- in slave/sub is aware of the Mistresses movements, it does depend on the type of relationship and the role that is played in each others lives, but connection maintained for the possible instructions is nice.

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Post #: 5

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:07:43 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear 12 12 NEVER HEARD OF IT.... i'd like to know what slave has to know when so and so is comin or going
only reason mite be safety,or is the slave you talking about not living for the top
WHO KNEW?.....

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 6

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:26:28 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

Its good to see some people who realize that they're submissive is a person, and usually a person of dear feelings, and as such deserves the right of being considered.

Other than that, you're just playing a game. And that game means nothing.

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Post #: 7

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:31:00 PM

darq

Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline

It just seems like common sense to let your submissive/slave know if you're not going to be around for awhile. Otherwise they'll end up feeling abandoned, scared, wondering if they did something wrong ... You come back and there's this whole insecurity thing going on and no one serves well when they're feeling insecure about their situation.

(in reply to KarbonCopy)

Post #: 8

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:37:15 PM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

dear 12 12 NEVER HEARD OF IT.... i'd like to know what slave has to know when so and so is comin or going
only reason mite be safety,or is the slave you talking about not living for the top
WHO KNEW?.....

The question is a hypothetical one jamesthehumanrug i only gave some examples off the top of my head..

Merely enquiring as to how much information (ok i'll say it this way) Mistresses/Dommes ALLOW thier respective sub/slaves to know about thier plans etc... whether it be personal or otherwise

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

Post #: 9

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:48:07 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

I'd stop wasting your time and ask your significant other.

Dom/mes are all different, so are all relationships. If people cant understand this totally far out concept, then its a sad future we look upon.

Do me a favour, go find me two exactlyt he same snowflakes. I'll wait here.

Now scoot.

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Post #: 10

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:49:25 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Why wouldn't you let him/her know? Unless you specifically wanted your sub to feel abandoned or insecure, I can't imagine not telling him/her.

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 11

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 4:55:54 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dave1212

Hello Mistresses,
I was just curious as to how much general information you decide your sub/slave need's to know ..
ie; you go on holiday do you tell your sub/slave ?
ie; you will not be needed this weekend etc
This is mainly aimed at those who are not within a 24/7 dynamic..

What i'm trying to ask is basically if you do not need your sub/slave for whatever reason/time period do you let them know so they can plan "other" thing's or are they alway's on a sort of "standby" to serve you...
Many thank's...

I think I'm confused.

If you aren't 24/7 then why would you be on stand-by? You'd have scheduled times that you scened or interacted. It is only polite to let the other person know if those scheduled times need to be changed and furthermore it is both people responsibility to work on meeting established schedules for interaction.

If you don't, don't be surprised if they then have to change the schedule at the last minute or without notice too.

Soon you won't be doing anything together.

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 12

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 5:13:51 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Well, but there are a lot of people out there who are not 24/7 but who are closer than scheduled play weekends and so forth.

Agreed that it's only polite to let them know if you're going to be gone... but personally I'd rather make it part of the D/s interaction and have fun with it <g>

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I think I'm confused.

If you aren't 24/7 then why would you be on stand-by? You'd have scheduled times that you scened or interacted. It is only polite to let the other person know if those scheduled times need to be changed and furthermore it is both people responsibility to work on meeting established schedules for interaction.

If you don't, don't be surprised if they then have to change the schedule at the last minute or without notice too.

Soon you won't be doing anything together.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 13

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/22/2006 5:18:13 PM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I'd stop wasting your time and ask your significant other.

Dom/mes are all different, so are all relationships. If people cant understand this totally far out concept, then its a sad future we look upon.

Do me a favour, go find me two exactlyt he same snowflakes. I'll wait here.

Now scoot.

I think you are missing my point as i do not have a "significant other" ie unowned/uncollared and i also understand if you are within a 24/7 type relationship then you would obviously know what each other is doing ...
I am merely asking out of curiousity as peoples opinions vary as to what they consider thier sub/slaves are required to know..

thetammyjo, i should have said "if you are not within a 24/7 " it may have been a little clearer..

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to KarbonCopy)

Post #: 14

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 8:45:41 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

My situation differs from many here in that My sub has family obligations and is therefore not available 24/7.

Because we each have lives that are full and busy and independent of one another, I have many occasions where I do not tell him where I am or what I'm up to and he does not ask.

In turn, he keeps Me abreast of his plans and activities, for the most part. I do not impose Myself upon his family time and he is free to come and go as he pleases.

However, if I was ever to meet a sub who was 'the one', and with whom I would want a fully committed relationship, I would expect that he always tell me of his whereabouts, because I will double check regularly.

I would not tell him of My whereabouts all the time, though. I have always kept a facets of My personality, interests and activities a closely guarded secret.

I will indicate, however, that I'll be 'out of pocket' and will advise for how long, in general terms.

Yes, it's a double standard.

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.....

TexasMaam

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 15

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 8:53:54 AM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

Thank's TexasMaam, That was the sort of answer i was looking for ..
Just a shame i did not originally word the post better ~Grins~

Many thank's to you all for your input...

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 16

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 8:58:25 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

lololol

You worded it just fine!

I began reading the thread and realized several posts were wandering pretty far from answering your original question, so I decided to simplify My response and direct My post at giving you a direct answer to what seemed to be a fairly direct topic...

Good post!

TexasMaam

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 17

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 9:02:22 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

...and just for the record....

Many times I will inform My sub that I'll be 'out of pocket' "this weekend", or "during lunch today" just so I know he'll be squirming over the uncertainty.

....when in fact, I may be getting My nails done over lunch, or I might be so busy on the ranch working cattle or mowing weeds that I leave My cellphone at home, turned off. I'll let him wonder where I am, who I'm with, am I with another sub gone off for the weekend somewhere, omg where IS SHE????????

Yeah.

Sadistic, ain't it?

; )

TexasMaam

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 18

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 9:13:56 AM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

...and just for the record....

Many times I will inform My sub that I'll be 'out of pocket' "this weekend", or "during lunch today" just so I know he'll be squirming over the uncertainty.

....when in fact, I may be getting My nails done over lunch, or I might be so busy on the ranch working cattle or mowing weeds that I leave My cellphone at home, turned off. I'll let him wonder where I am, who I'm with, am I with another sub gone off for the weekend somewhere, omg where IS SHE????????

Yeah.

Sadistic, ain't it?

; )

TexasMaam

Thank's for your reply...

Wow Soooooo cruel ~sniggers~

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: How much information do you give your sub/slave - 4/23/2006 1:53:56 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

My current dominant owner believes in giving very little information. Like the other day, she told me to go out and get her a pack of cigarettes. When I came back, all of the furniture was gone, the mail had been forwarded elsewhere and she was nowhere to be found. Now, if I was one of those "gotta know everything slaves", I'd be all concerned and try to figure out what happened. But this is her way. She prefers to keep me out of the loop. And I can live with that.

It's been about ten years now. I'm giving her a few more days and then I'm going to start getting worried. I mean, she's probably run out of smokes by now.

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 20

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