RE: Question for MASTERS only! (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 9:29:19 AM)

As long as you do not expect anyone here to call you "god" Artie......



LadyPact -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 9:55:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
The mistress’s point is unclear to me.


This is an odd way to communicate, but I assume you meant me.  I do not  identify as a mistress of any sort, as I am neither a kept woman nor dating a married man.  I don't personally consider it to be an appropriate title for a female dominant due to its negative connotations which are far more submissive than dominant in nature.

My point was that gender assumptions - like your assuming that I fall into the "Mistress" category - are inherently flawed, even if they might be correct some of the time.  There are quite a number of gay male Masters, and a fair number of biological females, heterosexual and otherwise, who identify as Masters.  So if you are actually asking for the input of heterosexual males who identify as Masters, it is a good idea to specify. 

Not that you can limit who gets to post to a thread on CM based on your personal preferences, but it still helps if you make it clear which demographic you're asking. 



I meant no offense in using the honorific "Mistress" as it is used in BDSM and Gorean communities for a dominant woman. Frankly, it would be rare to use the masculine honorific "Master" for a woman unless one is addressing BDSM doms without regard to gender, as in a paper or book text. Perhaps you intended this. Perhaps not. You did say this which puzzles me:
quote:

I don't personally consider it to be an appropriate title for a female dominant due to its negative connotations which are far more submissive than dominant in nature.
For sure, your perception of the honorific "Mistress" does not match that held generally in the BDSM or Gorean communities. That definition is included below for your future reference.

I suppose I could simply always use the term "master" to stay out of trouble but this is also a mine field with a woman who takes offense with the normally masculine honorific. Here is something I am sure is always true: one cannot satisfy everyone in the online world of CM and so I do not try.

Here is the definition from Wickipedia references seaching on the term Master and BDSM and how it is generally used:

The term "Master" can be gender-independent but is mostly used only in reference to males. There is otherwise no male-specific equivalent. The female equivalent is "Mistress".

A dominatrix (plural dominatrices or dominatrixes) or mistress is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage and discipline, dominance and submission or BDSM.


p.s. Wait, wait...maybe "goddess" would work from now on?

I'm going to save Myself some time and reprint a partial reply regarding a very similar topic yesterday.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I have said this multiple times when this discussion has entered this particular forum before.  I am a person who practices the leather lifestyle.  Unlike the Gorean lifestyle, the title of Master is not one held by men alone.  This is something that is a significant difference between us.  In the leather lifestyle, it is a title that can be held by a man or a woman.  In fact, our protocols have much more to do with experience in living this way.  Not whether someone has a penis or not, but rather how long they have successfully run their M/s dynamics in their authority.  Even amongst Master's themselves, that is what determines whether one is junior or senior to another.  Our protocols specifically state that gender is not to be a factor when showing courtesy and respect for each other.

There may not be as many leather people on these boards as there once were.  That does not make our lifestyle any more or less valid than anyone else's.  I probably hold higher requirements for Myself in the title than a heck of a lot of people on these boards do. 

I was granted My Master's Cap by the leather community in April of 2008 with My husband and My side and My boy at My feet.  It wasn't something that I asked for and truthfully, most people who receive one don't think it is something they deserve.  My leather family and community thought that I did.  I'm not going to disrespect their opinion for some random message board.


Should an OP choose to ask for male opinions alone, that would be her right.  Not that it is a requirement on this board for anyone to restrict their answers.  However, that was not what she asked for.  Perhaps, if she had, I may have indulged her, even in her display of unpleasantness.

The definition that you brought from Wiki is, in fact, incorrect by leather protocols.  Unlike Goreans, we do not use those titles without a qualifying name unless there is a M/s dynamic in place between the parties.  The only person on these boards, for example, who should be calling Me "Mistress" is My own slave. 

Not all of the BDSM community uses the same protocols and the titles may mean different things for different groups.  I have always found that it is better to learn about our differences, rather than to make mistakes in My own lack of knowledge.




MercTech -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 9:57:59 AM)

I've met a few of the perpetually single subs off of CM and from elsewhere. There are a few things I've found that had me headed for the hills myself.

Lists of limits and requirements so convoluted they make the tax code look like a first grade primer.

Physical or mental problems that require a LOT of coping without a redeeming characteristic to make the coping worthwhile.

A tendency to take over and remake everything. Doing "for" someone in excess and doing things that ARE NOT ASKED FOR NOR DESIRED then throwing tantrums when not "appreciated" for everything they are doing.

Refusal to give honest answers about preferences:
Moi Where would you like to go for dinner?
Her Oh, anywhere you like.
Moi What kind of cuisine do you like?
Her Oh, anyhthing.
Moi How about Chinese
Her I hate Chinese
Moi There is a new Mexican resturant I've heard about. How about that.
Her Oh, ick. I hate Mexican
Moi Then, let's just go to Cracker Barrel. Meat and two veg is always ok.
Her Oh they are so greasy.
Moi If you don't let me know your preferences you may well get a tastless cold hot dog from 7-11.
Her Oh, anything you like is fine with me.
.... Obviously not. She could not understand why I just took her home and left. I don't ask questions unless I want an answer. A person willing to leave you guessing over something as simple as resturant choices is going to leave you guessing about a whole lot more important things.

Stefan



poise -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 10:17:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech
A person willing to leave you guessing over something as simple as resturant choices is going to leave you guessing about a whole lot more important things.

Stefan

Olive Garden or bust!
pardon me...Im just practicing on answers



sexyred1 -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 10:24:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MercTech

Refusal to give honest answers about preferences:
Moi Where would you like to go for dinner?
Her Oh, anywhere you like.
Moi What kind of cuisine do you like?
Her Oh, anyhthing.
Moi How about Chinese
Her I hate Chinese
Moi There is a new Mexican resturant I've heard about. How about that.
Her Oh, ick. I hate Mexican
Moi Then, let's just go to Cracker Barrel. Meat and two veg is always ok.
Her Oh they are so greasy.
Moi If you don't let me know your preferences you may well get a tastless cold hot dog from 7-11.
Her Oh, anything you like is fine with me.
.... Obviously not. She could not understand why I just took her home and left. I don't ask questions unless I want an answer. A person willing to leave you guessing over something as simple as resturant choices is going to leave you guessing about a whole lot more important things.

Stefan


I find that entire entry to be confined not only to women, but to men, including vanilla. I don't see it as a terribly horrific reason to run for the hills, but I do find it fascinating when someone is so passive aggressive they cannot take a stance on something so simple.

As for me, since I don't cook, I am quick to reply what type of restaurants I want to go to. :)



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 11:20:50 AM)

~fr~

It's funny, I always ask the subs who want to meet me to choose where to meet! It's such a fun gauge of how well they can follow directions, and respond to suggestions. Of course it's supposed to be all domly for ME to choose, but the truth of my life is that I deal with older people, and choosing what/where to eat is hideously stressful for me. PICK SOMEWHERE. Easy peasy.



Twoshoes -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 12:40:15 PM)

I pick a pancake place.
What does that say about me?

That I like things filled with fruit.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 12:50:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

I pick a pancake place.
What does that say about me?

That I like things filled with fruit.


iT SAYS THAT YOU ARECHEAP BUT KNOW HOW TO HANG ON TO YOUR MONEY SMILE..b



FetishRose -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 2:09:20 PM)

Take me to a Middle Easter/Mediterranean place, and I will gladly go home with you!  [:D]


To the OP:
People are single for a variety of reasons.  Vanillas, men, women, kinksters, slaves, Doms, Anteaters, what have you.  It could be by choice, by situation, etc etc.  Having too many limits, or strictures about who to be with is only a very small part of it.
In the past, I've said: I only want to date a kinky, long-haired man, under the age of 30, from Norway or Sweden, over 6'3", who plays in a metal band.  That's about as picky as you can get, and guess what?  I found one, and had a great time.
I've also put myself out there with no particular expectations outside my own personal minimums (employed, honest, good sense of humor), etc, and not found anyone worth my time for quite awhile.
In my experience, the more desperate you are, the more likely you are to find someone who is completely incompatible with you.  You'll find someone, sure, but they likely will not have the qualities you would want.
I have far more respect for people who refuse to compromise on the issues that are the most important for them in finding a mate, vanilla or D/s based.  They might be single longer, sure, while they look for the right person, but they are usually more comfortable with themselves, and will have more to offer that right person.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 3:57:26 PM)

~FR~
Mexican, Chinese, or a great salad bar would be fantastic! Esp the good salad bar. I could make a meal from one of those. [:D]

~sweetsub~

~edited for spelling~



Aynne88 -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 4:14:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Funny, underage UMs in the home and/ or having any of my own are hard limits for me. I must not be a woman! [:D]



No I am with you Wyld. I never had children by choice, I don't like them all that well, and I would not be in a relationship with a man that had them or wanted them. As for marriage, not doing that either. He is the one pressuring me to "settle down". [;)]. So no Bounty, not all women want kids and marriage. That sounds very very constricting and unappealing to me. No offense to those that want those things.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 4:40:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FetishRose

Take me to a Middle Easter/Mediterranean place, and I will gladly go home with you!  [:D]

I wouldn't take you out to dinner in that case-I'd cook for you myself [8D]

EthnicallyExotic!VC



FetishRose -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 4:53:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: FetishRose

Take me to a Middle Easter/Mediterranean place, and I will gladly go home with you!  [:D]

I wouldn't take you out to dinner in that case-I'd cook for you myself [8D]

EthnicallyExotic!VC


It's a date [:)]



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 5:11:54 PM)

Yesssss! The ability to romance women via hummus and baba ganoush strikes again! [:D][:D]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 5:15:59 PM)

I love pancakes and middle eastern food but not at the same meal.

I do not love children, and not having any was the best decision I ever made. Marriage? Doubt it highly.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 5:30:27 PM)

That's ok Hibbie-pancakes are for breakfast the next day! [8D]

SmoothWithTheLadies!VC



WyldHrt -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 6:09:13 PM)

quote:

Moi How about Chinese
Her I hate Chinese

She hated Chinese food? Hard limit! I'd have dumped her ass then and there [:D]



LadyPact -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 6:20:06 PM)

No kidding!  Of course, not everyone gets their choice when they aren't the one in power.  [8D]

(I know I'm not the only person on these boards who has enjoyed left over Chinese food after a good round of play or sex.  Even twice the reason for it to taste better the second time.)

As for picking the restaurant, who cares?  If I have a preference, I'll say so.  If not, the way I see it, I can get chicken darn near anywhere.  I'm more concerned with the company of the meal than where we eat it.



Twoshoes -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 6:33:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
As for picking the restaurant, who cares?  If I have a preference, I'll say so.  If not, the way I see it, I can get chicken darn near anywhere.  I'm more concerned with the company of the meal than where we eat it.

I have to say:
The only times I have cheated with being a vegetarian during the last 3 years has been with chicken.

Then again I eat fish so all I really don't eat is beef and pork.

This probably shoulda went to the "I admit" thread.

Btw, I can provide the Mediterranean cooking option.
That involves lots of olive oil and feta cheese everywhere. [;)]
Sadly I can't mail a salad, only pictures!



girlygurl -> RE: Question for MASTERS only! (9/10/2010 6:37:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: femasoslave

LOL....as I said in my opening.....I am NOT interested in other sub/slave answers!!
I have posted this question in "Ask A Master" for a reason!!!!!


And for that reason I'm posting. I'm silly that way. If you had worded your thread differently it would have never caught my eyes.



posting posting posting posting posting



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