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MastrVran -> RE: Behavioural chart (9/8/2010 1:44:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CalifChick
quote:
ORIGINAL: Gagmadandtoy
Califchick, I fail to see the reasoning behind your post and I can't see it's relivance at all, this post was never intended to be a view over my relationship!
Yes, it is quite apparent that you do not see it. You brought up a topic, with a background. You then narrowed it down to one question. But people may find the topic and the background interesting, beyond the very narrow box that the question fits into. You want only answers to the question, but as I said, you don't get to dictate that.
Sometimes the discussion you don't want to hear, bring clarity for others.
I find it interesting that some people like to treat their subs like children. I didn't say it was wrong for them, it would be wrong for me. I find it interesting that some dominants act like relationship and communication experts, and act like their subs hover in the clue-free zone.
Cali
He asks about a simple idea, which in its basest form is what traits would you possibly want to improve in a submissive? Perhaps her deportment? Maybe service related skills? And by using a chart she gets direct feedback as to how he sees what she is doing to either improve, remain the same or even slip backwards on. Over time this can be beneficial in many ways, it gives a chart such as anyone in Finance would use. It also shows goals and needs being met or not.
Now could you have conversations addressing any or all of these concerns? Sure you could. But maybe for his sub she wants something more visual, a reminder of just what it is he wants improved? Maybe she forgets things easily? Maybe she feels she needs reminders? I know many people have at times tied strings to their fingers, put sticky notes of the fridge, or set up calendars on their computer to remind them of things. For some a nice simple visual representation is reassuring. For others they might see it as someone saying they are not smart enough to remember what he was asking her to do.
Of course if he did start this because she seemed unable to remember from conversations what it was he wanted from her, then maybe she does need the help. Many people get distracted easily. Especially if they have a number of things to keep track of. Also for some being able to look at a record and see improvement is in and of itself a reward. Even if it shows you are failing somewhere, almost no one fails in all areas. But by having it written down and updated constantly, it could give decent feedback. The list is obviously long and could easily encompass all areas of someones life. So with this in mind here is some things you might include.
Any Service oriented tasks. Housecleaning in all its various forms, perhaps broken down into specific parts in case some are much better than others. Perhaps cooking, even grading specific meals which then gives her a written record of what you liked best to least. If you include why it was not a great meal, it might simply be something she can change easily and improve it. Her state of dress, or undress. How she sits, kneels, reclines or any of the possible positions. If she has issues where she has become or never aquired decent posture, this can easily be addressed with this system. It can even include sexual performance in all its splended varieties.
Cleanliness was mentioned in an earlier post and while you the Op may take offense at what you thought might be implied, it does not change the fact that for some this is an issue that would easily work for this.
Now with all this said, for some this is a waste of time. They would not desire it, they would feel compelled to add silly things to this and make it into something it is not. Thats usual for these boards. If it is not the way I do things then it is wrong. My answer is always what works for you is right, no matter what someone else thinks.
Each person is an individual, some would get something very good out of this. Maybe their upbringing was so lax they never developed any of the traits most of us have. Maybe this just works better for them. Who knows. I know that the only test for this is if it works for those doing it. If not, find a different way. However you go about improving someones life and how they interact with each other in better ways is a win/win.
I wish you well in your attempts to improve the life you and your girl live.
MV
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