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(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

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(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

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3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

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ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

This is one of those topics that has been covered several many times on the boards. However I actually like the way you have presented this, so rather than shout for proudsub, I am going to answer you.

Well, i am rather new here, and have not read all of the archives, so i do appreciate not being called on the carpet, so-to-speak!

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(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

Appearance matters. I am not one who will say it doesn't. If I can't stand to look at someone, I don't want them up under me all day every day. I am all for realizing the beauty within, and the qualities within, and I believe that most everyone has it all. But when it comes to an intimate partner (submissive), then appearance is a factor. Maturity, intelligence, and social presence are important to me also. I am The Mistress, not The Mommy.

Yes, i totally agree! Appearance does matter -- especially when meeting someone for the first time. O/one looks at all manner of things, including neatness, choice of clothing and colors, grooming, personal cleanliness, etc., etc. But when You meet someone online, You can only judge that person by how they articulate their words, by perhaps a recent photo (or photos), and possibly via Webcam. However, how can anyone be judged on the basis of photos here? Everyone is entitled to persue the type of person who they are most attracted to. i reserve the right to practice this as well.

I have found that it can go either way with no experience/experienced. If the male is sincerely/genuinely submissive then experience, or the lack thereof, is not an issue. It is all about communication, chemistry, and sincerity.

i am certain that You would not consider any involvement with a submissive that admits to having no experiece whatsoever. After all, and speaking as a submissive, what would i do with a self-proclaimed "Dominatrice," who had no experience? And yes, how can O/one become experienced without the benefit of trial and error? Having said that, it is really up to E/each of U/us to learn all that we can about the subject before engaging in an actual session.

I don't consider Dominance, or submission, to be "gifts". We are what we are. We come together and we compliment one another...for a lifetime. If there were a "gift", I suppose the relationship itself would be it. Not one or the other.

Now, as far as submission being a gift, i think this is where i have to step in and say this: when i submit to someone, i ask for nothing in return. This may sound noble, unselfish and to some, utterly absurd! However, this is who i am. If a Dominatrice chooses to honor me with the "gift" (yes, again that word comes up) of giving me a reward for that service, then it becomes a mutual exchange. But i never simply expect to have my fantasies catered to, unless it is specifically discussed with a profressional before a session.

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(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

If this is the case, I respond in kind.

Thank You! But some actually do not! You are indeed the excepetion to the rule! :-)

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3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

I've never thought of it as discrimination exactly. I've always thought of it as my personal preferences. I prefer those between the ages of 35 and 45. I am considering a male at present who is 54. I may go older, but it is very doubtful that I would ever go younger.

Well, i should probably not have said, "discriminate," for this is a very hot topic! And as i have indicated before, everyone is entitled to their own particular choice as it relates to age and appearance. In fact as i become older, i am finding more and more Dominatrices who are over 50. They tend to have the same interests and zest for life than some who are much younger. i personally believe that, if O/one stays in shape by taking care of themselves though diet and exercise, O/one can be beautiful at any age.

Welcome to the boards. Stay with us.

Thank You for Your courteous and detailed reply, LadyBeckett. i shall continue to monitor the message boards; and, by the way, i both respect and value Your opinions!

Sincerely,

philip

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ORIGINAL: MsD

Hello addicted *s* Yes, as you say, we are all different ... after all, whether submissive/slave or Dominant, we are all individuals!

Hello, MsD, and thank You for responding!

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(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

Appearance is important to a degree; it is important to Me that a girl (as that is what I am interested in) thinks enough of herself & of Me to want to present herself in the best possible light. Same goes for intellect, maturity, sincerity. Besides, I am an intelligent, mature Woman & am sincere in My own desires. What good would a submissive/slave be to Me if she cannot relate to/understand Me nor I her? Experience is not so important. After all, what I want in actions & responses might very well be totally different than what she has learned from a previous Dominant. Willingness to submit ... well, how in the world could I dominate one who wasn't willing to submit? *chuckling* Sincerity & honesty are crucial to Me. This is not a game to Me and I do NOT like being "played".

i suppose that this subject is now a moot point, since W/we all seem to agree that submissives of either gender should "present" themselves in the best way possible. You also refer to previous experience, and a submissive has to understand that pleasing one person is not the same as pleasing another. Everyone has specific needs and desires, as should be recognized as such. Yes, sincerity and honesty is a must! And no one wants to be taken advantage of, unless of course, it is within the confines of a scene. *Wink*

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(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

I always respond to polite inquiries. My biggest pet peeve, however, is in direct relation to the male submissives/slaves who seem to not read/comprehend the line in My profile "not interested in males ... PERIOD!" I have, however, had some very pleasant conversations with male subs/slaves who contacted Me for reasons OTHER THAN wanting Me to dominate them or f* them!

While i am not apologizing for the behavior of some males, i agree that if you clearly state, "NO MEN," that should be reason enough for them not to try to contact You.

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3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

My own requirements regarding age are fairly rigid, but I always consider each on an individual basis. Point in fact, I usually look for girls between 24-38 yrs old ... but am currently talking with a very mature, impressive 18yr old *s* Don't know if it will go anywhere as we have only just begun discussions, but she impresses Me with every email *s*

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it
(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it
(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

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ORIGINAL: addicted2it
3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

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(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

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2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

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3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

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ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Another 2004 Thread?
Maybe the reasearch advice is being taken too far. I say, start a new thread, if we have to go that far back. M