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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:51:47 AM

rednicky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Your views on clubs and bars are a little askew. I wonder where you've actually been. It depends on what a woman does there that tells men how to handle her. I'm not one for bars. Bars seem to be all about drinking and drinking is a waste (to me). But I can't speak for what goes on in bars. Clubs are all about interacting closely with others, usually the opposite sex (or the sex you are attracted to). If it were just about being with friends, you could stay home and drink and play. Save your gas. It's about being social.

And, in a club scene, the attitude is the exact opposite. Men bitch about women being total prudes. pushing them away at times when they no longer want to dance. The only exception with this club that I reference is that all the women seemed friendly and fun. Still guys didn't move.

What was it you just said? lol

Uhhuh And that entire statement was based on what other men had actually experienced, thus not being an assumption or a rush judgement. It's true. And they told me what they experienced. I also never said these guys said 'all' women acted like this. AND I also say that THIS thread has NOTHING to do with that anyway. It has more to do with the second sentence you 'didn't' underline. Selective reading is a bitch.

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:53:29 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

Women who go out looking to get laid are going through hard times, feeling insecure, vunerable......whereas men who go out looking to get laid are predators?

I didn't say that was all women, nor did I call men "predators".. but from what I have observed in my life, yes, women who get picked up weekend after weekend were engaging in risky behavior. Not only could one get in a very bad situation getting picked up by strange men, there is the risk of disease. The women I talked to that engaged in this sort of behavior were usually at a vulnerable place in their lives... and having worked in this environment, I probably talked to more of them in a friendly sort of way than you have... meaning I had conversations where my agenda was to do my job, not pick them up

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:53:39 AM

rednicky

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And dominus, as good as your intention is, I am not talking about bars. And I even said that I couldn't speak for what happened there. So it's irrelevant.

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:55:05 AM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Guys do not want to be rejected-

Funny you say it can be a meat rack. I thought the gay sceen to be way more meat rack then any straight club.

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Post #: 24

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:56:16 AM

Lockit

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So a woman that wants to go out to dance and finds dance partners is expected to do something more than dance or become instant friends or she is a prude because she simply wanted to dance and that is all someone asked for and she doesn't do more after the dance? Asking someone to dance isn't an invitation to anything more than one dance.

Guys who just sit there sit there because women are what? It's the women that might be at fault? Or the men are having a problem for some reason?

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 11:58:18 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

This is what drives me a little batty... this general attitude that if a women is in a certain place... she just wants to get some. She is a bar fly, a queen of the happy drinking hole sitting on her throne, easy mark, lonely, insecure, wounded and there for pleasing males who go in herds to do some mating ritual that doesn't make them lonely, insecure, wounded or a bar fly.

I went to bars and clubs often when I was younger because that was the only thing to do in the resort town I lived in. I played darts, liars dice, shot pool, etc etc etc... I went with friends, I rarely went alone unless I was working in the establishment. I do not think that all women who go to bars do so because they want to get laid. I am talking of a specific demographic, one which I have seen more times than I care to even remember. If you do not fit that demographic, why are you offended by the characterization? T

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Post #: 26

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:00:55 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Women who go out looking to get laid are going through hard times, feeling insecure, vunerable......whereas men who go out looking to get laid are predators?

I didn't say that was all women, nor did I call men "predators".. but from what I have observed in my life, yes, women who get picked up weekend after weekend were engaging in risky behavior. Not only could one get in a very bad situation getting picked up by strange men, there is the risk of disease. The women I talked to that engaged in this sort of behavior were usually at a vulnerable place in their lives... and having worked in this environment, I probably talked to more of them in a friendly sort of way than you have... meaning I had conversations where my agenda was to do my job, not pick them up

I worked in this environment as well. Some women and men did that and for the reasons you stated. Yet many are viewed and put in this category simply because they are in a certain place... just like this place called Collarme. It is that attitude I find problematic.

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:01:05 PM

DCWoody

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@Julia, I was messing mostly....but I do reckon there's a slight double standard in there. strange men, risk of disease.......surely also strange women, risk of disease? :)

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Post #: 28

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:03:33 PM

rednicky

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I'm not sure if we're not making ourselves clear or if you're just not getting it. No one said anything about women being expected to do anything beyond dance if she asks to dance. Especially me. If I did, please quote it. I don't know why you brought up faults. No one is blaming anyone. This whole thread was just asking why so many guys didn't make a move in a friendly environment. And my friendly, I mean, the women here were looking for fun and not out to, say, hurt a mans pride. Even if she is there to just dance with friends, what's the harm in walking up to her and finding out for sure? And if those guys who choose to be wall flowers genuinely 'do' see some kind of harm in approaching.

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Post #: 29

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:09:03 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Your views on clubs and bars are a little askew. I wonder where you've actually been. It depends on what a woman does there that tells men how to handle her. I'm not one for bars. Bars seem to be all about drinking and drinking is a waste (to me). But I can't speak for what goes on in bars. Clubs are all about interacting closely with others, usually the opposite sex (or the sex you are attracted to). If it were just about being with friends, you could stay home and drink and play. Save your gas. It's about being social.

And, in a club scene, the attitude is the exact opposite. Men bitch about women being total prudes. pushing them away at times when they no longer want to dance. The only exception with this club that I reference is that all the women seemed friendly and fun. Still guys didn't move.

What was it you just said? lol

Uhhuh And that entire statement was based on what other men had actually experienced, thus not being an assumption or a rush judgement. It's true. And they told me what they experienced. I also never said these guys said 'all' women acted like this. AND I also say that THIS thread has NOTHING to do with that anyway. It has more to do with the second sentence you 'didn't' underline. Selective reading is a bitch.

Here's your quote.

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:10:13 PM

NorthernGent

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It's as easy or difficult as you want to make it.

It doesn't take a genuis to strike up a conversation and find some common ground.

A sense of humour helps.....

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:14:19 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DCWoody

@Julia, I was messing mostly....but I do reckon there's a slight double standard in there. strange men, risk of disease.......surely also strange women, risk of disease? :)

I am afraid of being with strange men I would encounter in a bar. STDs often impact women differently than men. While long term these diseases are horrible for men too, in the short term some STDs can cause a PID infection, which can be fatal ( I almost lost a good friend to one of these, she was code blue, and there wasn't even much of a warning she was ill). HIV is also more threatening for the person being penetrated than the one doing the penetrating. Life ain't fair, but these risks, as well as hooking up accidentally with a psycho because a woman is too damned drunk to have any sort of intuition working

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 9/11/2010 12:15:07 PM >

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Post #: 32

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:14:22 PM

DCWoody

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@Argument.

I don't think Lock is saying you (red) make such assumptions, just that (as the people you are quoting that she's underlined), some do.

I think.

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Post #: 33

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:16:27 PM

DCWoody

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Fair enough.

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Post #: 34

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:24:13 PM

pahunkboy

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what happened?

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Post #: 35

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:25:25 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Some people dont have people skills. So they dont try to approach people, I dont have people skills so I dont approach people, I dont go to clubs or bars often for this very reason, If im at the bar Im there for some type of something Half off my favorite drinks or its st patricks day.

People tend to leave me alone because i give off the vibe i dont want people near me, Im there to get drunk not get laid.

Maybe these poor wall flowers arent people people... and went to try to break out of that mold but just didnt have the balls.

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RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:26:38 PM

Lordandmaster

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Well I can speak only for myself, but I never get hard for men.

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Post #: 37

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:27:25 PM

rednicky

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You make an assumption about what I mean by handled. What I said about bars is no assumption. A great deal about bars deals with drinking. I didn't say 'being drunk'. I said drinking. You made an assumption about what I meant about it being a waste. Drinking is a waste of money to me. It's not an assumption. It's an opinion and I even say the words "To me". Clubs ARE about interacting. If you deny that, you're...well in denial. You wanna dance with your friends? Save some gas. invite them over to ur place. Put on your ipod. Dance. And everything is free. 'If' of course that's all you want. If that's not all you want and you actually want to be around other people, then there is where the interaction kicks in. That's no assumption. And 'usually' people would rather interact with the sex they are attracted to. You make the assumption that the word interaction is used in a sexual context. Sometimes it's fun to just dance with guys. Men DO bitch about what I stated. That's not an assumption. That's fact. Now the THINGS that they bitch about might be assumptions but those are THEIR assumptions. All I'm doing is quoting them. And, again, the women at THIS PARTICULAR CLUB that THIS PARTICULAR THREAD PERTAINS TO were friendly and fun. That's no assumption. That's an observation. That's how it was. And These men who were there did not make any move to interact (which, again is why anyone is there), with them.

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Well if you would just stay away from my bridge...

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Post #: 38

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:36:09 PM

Lockit

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rednicky, you seem to have it all worked out. Good for you! Enjoy your view, but the simple fact is you wanted to understand something you continue to put limitations on. Categorize to your lil hearts content. Twist your own words... don't say clearly what you mean or you are as clear as we can understand in how you are saying something as a definite and then making it an in general.

People do what they do because they just do! You want to know why they do it, ask them, but be sure to take what they say... like that dance thing and women being prudes... as gospel.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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Post #: 39

RE: How hard is it for (straight) men? - 9/11/2010 12:36:25 PM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Interacting? HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Just how do you do that- when the music is 160 decibels?

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Post #: 40

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