RE: Victim fetish?

RE: Victim fetish? (Full Version)

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rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 4:54:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance I get the fantasy of rape I dont understand how or why people get turned on about it. But what she describes she wants isnt play, It isnt fantasy in fact doing it safely doesnt DO it for her, she wants some strange man to come up and rape her and expect that because the man is raping her its because she was just so awesome she just had to be raped. Its not how rapists operate. Its not how they work and setting the op straight might just keep her from experiencing this for real. Hun, I never said that. I said I liked the idea of that happening. Actually doing it? No.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 4:54:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SorceressJ quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub quote: ORIGINAL: SorceressJ snip Yes, there is a name for it. Rape. Violence Against Women. You need to be careful, because if you think about it so much that it inspired you to make this thread, you may subconsciously be acting in ways that could, in theory, cause something to happen to you. Google "law of attraction" and you'll see what I mean. snip So are you saying that sometimes, women do ask for it? No, actually, I'm not saying that at all. If I wanted to say that (and get lynched before I had the chance to shoot myself in the head), then that's what I'd have said, point blank. I also have no intention of getting caught up in yet another pointless CM shooting match. Please do not assume that which is neither true nor real where I am concerned. I'm saying that our thoughts, attitudes, and actions help create our realities. That is all, no more, no less. It still seems to me that you are saying sometimes women ask for it there, but I will take you at your word that you don't mean that. Thanks for the reply. To the OP It seems to be a fantasy for many. I have discussed it with friends, but normally it is about seeing a specific hot guy and saying dammit I wish he would throw me down and make me like it. But, like has been said, some fantasies are best left in the fantasy department of our minds.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 4:58:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky And poise, I'm reading that thread. I've talked to my bf about it. We even tried acting it out. I just didn't get the same feeling. Sure, I got a little excited but nothing more. But I think the 'nothing more' part stems to something deeper. He's never really gotten me to do 'more'. quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky Perhaps 1 of your versions of narcissism applies to me. And I really would like to elicit the feelings of vulnerability, desirability, and fiery lust in a safe environment. I just don't know how. If it's within a safe environment, it's no longer real and I don't feel vulnerable. As far as desirability goes, I like the idea of a guy who's got many women to choose from but still goes for me. It's something about me that does it for him. In a relationship, that's not what happens. He doesn't have his pick. It's just me. And the lust stems from taking a risk doing sexual things to me, his girl of choice. If a boyfriend does it, there's no risk. We are together. If Dom does it, there's definitely no risk. He does what he wants to me. If a stranger did it, biiig risk. But it's worth it to him. I'm worth it to him. I don't now how to maintain these same feelings that require instability in a stable environment (i.e, in a relationship with something you love that loves you back, in a car you know, in a home you live, etc...). quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky I don't mean those fake, arranged encounters where you ask someone ahead of time to do these things to you. I mean for it to really happen. But maybe this happens rarely and the stories about it happening are really not something that happen everyday. Anyways, is there a name for this? Is it a common fantasy? Whether you're into it or not, has anything ever happened to you where some guy has done something completely inappropriate and unexpected after seeing you or working along side you? This is where you say you want THAT Edited to bold and underline ops requests to be assaulted or the enjoyment of being assaulted real life

rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:01:33 PM)
I surely said the idea of that is hot in a prior post. Someone then brought up the possibility of acting it out. I said the idea of acting it out doesn't do it for me. Just the 'idea' of the real thing. The 'idea' of acting it out with someone turns me off, because it comes off as fake. The idea of it really happening is a fun one.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:04:23 PM)
The really happening part is what you dont seem to understand. You dont seem to understand the consequences of what would happen real life if your sexually assaulted you dont seem to care either You want the reality of being raped, that reality is a very nasty unhappy reality

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:14:09 PM)
You could always I suppose, see if your bf would be willing to have a trusted friend just snatch you an make off with you an sexually assault you, all the while you don't know it's him, or know that it was arranged. quote: ORIGINAL: rednicky I surely said the idea of that is hot in a prior post. Someone then brought up the possibility of acting it out. I said the idea of acting it out doesn't do it for me.

rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:18:39 PM)
Guys, I don't want this in real life. But I 'do' like the high feeling I get when I think about it actually happening. Maybe that'll clear things up a bit. If I knew another way to get this same feeling in a safe environment around a person I love, I'd totally go for it. But I don't know of any such way.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:20:26 PM)
And I hope for you your fantasy never becomes a reality, but the way you talk about it is like you truly really want for it to happen in real life.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:25:25 PM)
I might be missing something, but I took her at her word it was a hot fantasy for her. Fantasy being the key word. The written word is tricky sometimes.

rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:28:31 PM)
The main reason I would never allow myself to actually partake in something like that is because victimization has 'never' gotten a good review. And I mean ever. Not just within this forum. "Yea, I was raped but you know what? It wasn't that bad." Same with molestation. Just from that, I know not to pursue something like this. I don't get mixed signals from this. Just one: don't do it. So I won't. I doubt I'd be the first to actually say I was raped and I loved it. It's not that I'm not listening to those who tell me over an over again that doing it would be a bad idea. I just already know it would be, which is why I said it was fantasy and nothing more (at least i thought I did).

juliaoceania -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:29:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I might be missing something, but I took her at her word it was a hot fantasy for her. Fantasy being the key word. The written word is tricky sometimes. I think it is the subject matter that is tricky, I understood what she meant from her first post. I understand that people who have been actually raped would have trouble with this subject matter. It really would be advisable if they hit the little "X" up there in the corner, rather than shame someone who is sharing a nonconsent fantasy in a way that is not politically correct. A lot of what we do isn't politically correct... like a lot of people have a hard time with partners striking each other, for example

frazzle -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:32:04 PM)
nm made a hash of the quotes thingy

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:33:07 PM)
and Juilia if you read her posts or went back in her history you would know she has a history of starting threads she knows isnt going to be received well so she gets negative attention.. She isnt talking about this as a fantasy nothing of it comes across as i just get hot about this... this is her saying the fantasy of it really happening is something that really gets me hot... and i might want to try in real life ... hence all the repeated saying HEY the fake arrangement part doesnt do it for me.

LadyRian -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:34:33 PM)
Here's my opinion on this; Op, you and I disagree on what I think might be a major point- you've stated that you feel that "you're worth it to him" to behave that way. Well, many of these guys think women are completely worthless, except as sexual objects for males. And if this is how much you want to be worth, I think you're selling yourself short. JMHO.

frazzle -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:36:12 PM)
i dont recall the quote and i havent worked out the quotes thingy. but she said it wasnt realistic enough. and she has been raped but it wasnt that bad!!!!!! Well hun arent you the lucky one.

rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:37:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance and Juilia if you read her posts or went back in her history you would know she has a history of starting threads she knows isnt going to be received well so she gets negative attention.. She isnt talking about this as a fantasy nothing of it comes across as i just get hot about this... this is her saying the fantasy of it really happening is something that really gets me hot... and i might want to try in real life ... hence all the repeated saying HEY the fake arrangement part doesnt do it for me. apparently this chick has it aaaaallll figured out [8\|]

juliaoceania -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:37:26 PM)
I read through about the last 100 posts to see what people are so up in arms about, and I am going to be honest, I just do not see what y'all are so worked up over. She sounds young, maybe slightly immature, but I do not read her the same way you do. I do not believe this thread was started out of a desire to be malignant. She started a similar thread in the health forum, if you care to look at it. She hasn't attacked anyone. She hasn't flamed anyone. She hasn't posted anything targeting a broad group of people. There are plenty of posters who annoy me, I get that she might annoy you... perhaps that is even more reason not to hit her threads?

rednicky -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:39:08 PM)
I feel like you're not even trying to listen to anything I said now fraz.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:42:06 PM)
Im sorry Ive never encountered someone who talked about something at length that DIDNT want it to happen to them or to try it, Your posts read even though you say over and over no i dont, i dont want that, like someone whos really thought about trying to make it happen in real life. And glorifying ACTUAL rape is what Im up in arms about, not play rape not arranged play but actual real life assault on women.

frazzle -> RE: Victim fetish? (9/11/2010 5:43:08 PM)
She states "playing" at rape etc, doesnt fill her fantasies. She thinks someone who stalks/rapes someone sees hers as something special. Sorry she needs a reality check. A rapist/stalker, isnt doing it because youre the next Marilyn Munroe, you just happen to be there.

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