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Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 8:54:58 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Ever since it was first put around my neck, it ment the world to me.  Himself taking it off literally had me breathless with anxiety, with him  usually reassuring me "its just being cleaned".  Yet i'd sit there anxious as all get out.  Impatient,  wanting it back on, wishing that the dang cleaning would hurry up.  i think it was off my neck 2 times in the first year. 

18 months later.  Well.  It dawned on me that its just a mere symbol.  It doesnt mean all i thought it ment.  On, off - its all the same very thing.  i always thought it implied ownership, consent - that with out it, everything stopped.  With out it, i'm not his slave, he's not my Master.  Heck, i'd even go to say that with out it even Him and i were done.  Like a tide - it washed everything away.

But its not true, its just a mere symbol.  This new perspective, well i just find it interesting.  i'm actaully sitting here looking at it, contemplating putting it back on.. or not.  Himself knows this.  Heck he even gave me a brand new lock. As i so brattily checked to see if the key on his key ring was still the right key.  i suppose the new lock is to curb my new found curiousity of  "lack of meaning".  On off i go!  It goes against everything i know.  What do you mean........... it doesnt mean anything??????    i have yet to make emotional sense of it.  Granted i've the whole logical understanding of it as Himself explained to me awhile ago. 

Almost like a wedding ring.  You can take the ring off.. but you're still married.  The ring neednt be there to uphold the ceremonial agreement.  This new knowledge pretty much fascinates me and i was wondering what others think about collars, their meaning, if they're just symbols.. ect.

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:11:40 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Your post just reminded me that I didn't put my collar on yet today.

Yes, I love it and I love the feel of it around my neck. Well, except for sleeping then it bugs me and I have permission to not wear it. I agree that it's just a symbol though. I am owned by my Master in my heart and I don't really need a collar or anything else to feel that fact.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:15:45 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Lol, you slay me, yet it is something to ponder.

You had best hope he does not email my Master, Scooter, because mine is solid polished stainless steel, requires tools to be removed and is virtually impossible for the one wearing it to do so.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:22:09 AM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

You had best hope he does not email my Master, Scooter, because mine is solid polished stainless steel, requires tools to be removed and is virtually impossible for the one wearing it to do so.


Oooops that's torn it twicehappy they had better watchout ..~grins~

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:23:56 AM   
pgqosk


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita
Yes, I love it and I love the feel of it around my neck. Well, except for sleeping then it bugs me and I have permission to not wear it. I agree that it's just a symbol though. I am owned by my Master in my heart and I don't really need a collar or anything else to feel that fact.


I think this is the right feelign to have about a collar. It is a symbol, and it is in the heart AND MIND that a Dom owns that which his submissive has bestowed upon him. I think it is also very much a useful tool during play too... but that is off the subject.   LOL

Steven--

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:30:07 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Riot for the short time I been around here... I have watched you grow slowly.... I am enjoying it.

You right the collar in of itself is a Mere Symbol... but what it symbolizes is what is priceless!

Too many hold on to the collar has a meaning as the focus!.... when the focus should be on the devotions the commitment, the very things that brought the collar into being in the first place.  good to see you are directing and focusing yourself on what is going to make your relationship work and not a mere item that symbolizes it.


editted for wording errors

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 4/23/2006 9:31:15 AM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:33:16 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Mine has never been removed since placed on me.  It is a symbol, yes, but I would certainly feel naked and awkward without it. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:46:58 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dave1212

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

You had best hope he does not email my Master, Scooter, because mine is solid polished stainless steel, requires tools to be removed and is virtually impossible for the one wearing it to do so.


Oooops that's torn it twicehappy they had better watchout ..~grins~


I am confused, what out for what? Large magnets? A tool and die maker? (Lol, my Master is one)......   grins back

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to dave1212)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 9:50:19 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		To us symbolic interactionists, it's a very significant thing. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 10:35:22 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

Lol, you slay me, yet it is something to ponder.

You had best hope he does not email my Master, Scooter, because mine is solid polished stainless steel, requires tools to be removed and is virtually impossible for the one wearing it to do so.


LOL  good luck!  <chuckles>  Yes, he's looking for a more permament one.  He's never been 100% pleased with my collar as he knows that with bolt cutters i could quite easily take it off.  heh (never tired it though....)  Yet, if its just a symbol, why am i wearing it?  i dont need a symbol.  And on top of that, why does it please him that i wear it?  i dont quite understand the who ha about it anymore.  Why would it please him if i am wearing one that :"never" comes off.  Or one he cant possible see me ever able to take off.  (yes he's thought of it, before i found my curiousity of on.off)  Perhaps, he enjoys seeing the symbol?  Could anyone possibly explain that to me?  Though i know everyone is different.. Any chance a few other Dom's out there could explain why it pleases them to see a a collar around their sub/slaves neck?  i suppose i could equate it to wearing a ring when married.  Why wear a ring?  Though i wouldnt quite understand that one either.... maybe i'm just feeling snotty today? 



(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 10:44:50 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

Riot for the short time I been around here... I have watched you grow slowly.... I am enjoying it.

You right the collar in of itself is a Mere Symbol... but what it symbolizes is what is priceless!

Too many hold on to the collar has a meaning as the focus!.... when the focus should be on the devotions the commitment, the very things that brought the collar into being in the first place. good to see you are directing and focusing yourself on what is going to make your relationship work and not a mere item that symbolizes it.


editted for wording errors


Thank you Knight, i'm glad you are enjoying it.  i suppose this post actually answers the question.  If its a mere symbol, why wear it?  Because what it symbolizes is priceless.  Yes i do focus (sometimes i think too much) on my relationship and Himself - which oddly in turn directs my focus to me.  As in, "i need to change this to do better" or "changing this would please him"  Usually tho i focus waaaaaaaay to much on him.  Which is what most of my pissiness is about.  i have noticed that whatever mood i am in, always (unfortunetly) directly relates to Himself.  <sigh> Generally i wish that it wasnt so.  i think i depend way too much on him for everything so in turn i try not too.  heh.  Everything i do, is becase of that man - good and bad alike.  <sigh> i wish it didnt. 

- back to your regual schedule programming of collars

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 10:47:00 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

quote:

Lol, you slay me, yet it is something to ponder.

You had best hope he does not email my Master, Scooter, because mine is solid polished stainless steel, requires tools to be removed and is virtually impossible for the one wearing it to do so.


LOL  good luck!  <chuckles>  Yes, he's looking for a more permament one.  He's never been 100% pleased with my collar as he knows that with bolt cutters i could quite easily take it off.  heh (never tired it though....)  Yet, if its just a symbol, why am i wearing it?  i dont need a symbol.  And on top of that, why does it please him that i wear it?  i dont quite understand the who ha about it anymore.  Why would it please him if i am wearing one that :"never" comes off.  Or one he cant possible see me ever able to take off.  (yes he's thought of it, before i found my curiousity of on.off)  Perhaps, he enjoys seeing the symbol?  Could anyone possibly explain that to me?  Though i know everyone is different.. Any chance a few other Dom's out there could explain why it pleases them to see a a collar around their sub/slaves neck?  i suppose i could equate it to wearing a ring when married.  Why wear a ring?  Though i wouldnt quite understand that one either.... maybe i'm just feeling snotty today?


Although I believe it's only a symbol of what we share, I do prefer that she wear it all the time because the outside world can't see what we share, they can't see what's in our hearts but they can see the symbols of our love and devotion to each other. Twice isn't the only one that wears a "collar" here. Her's is just a more obvious one. We all wear symbols of our devotion. Scooter and I wear our wedding rings, but beyond that, he wears a silver rope that symbolizes our bond in the lifestyle just as my silver choker says the same about me.
 
As corny as it sounds, somedays I just really like reaching across the bed, half asleep, and feeling that cold steel on her neck.

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 10:58:34 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
Usually tho i focus waaaaaaaay to much on him.  ...  i have noticed that whatever mood i am in, always (unfortunetly) directly relates to Himself. 

It is what a kajira does, RiotGirl. Do not worry about it. That is part of being a kajira.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:03:20 AM   
MistWalker


Posts: 90
Joined: 4/20/2006
From: Memphis
Status: offline 		hmmm,  reminds me mine is supposed to go back on today, but i do agree it is only  a symbol in most cases of a much deeper bond. the collar its self an outward sign of whats shared,whats given/taken for you and all to see im similar myself in the thoughts presented.. my first years i wouldnt take the collar off or have it removed for anything. more ove grown and realized, that bit of leather and steel means no more in reality then the band of silver on my finger.  wich is not to say neither mean nothing. they have very great meaning. but they also do not have to be in place for that meaning to remain in my mind.  though in all honestly i dont like going for very long with out either in place. but some situations do reqire the collar be absent unfortunitly... Mistresess wishes there, as it were mine it would stay on no matter were we went. anyway way..i shall cease rambeling now. 

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:05:47 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I do not often have the opportunity to wear my collar, so on or off it does not make much difference to me.  I enjoy wearing it, but it is what the collar symbolizes that is important and not the actual piece of leather.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:10:11 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel of PhoenixRisen

As corny as it sounds, somedays I just really like reaching across the bed, half asleep, and feeling that cold steel on her neck.
 

Mistress actually does this, sometimes when she is dead asleep. I love it; it is quietly reassuring to me like being held. Though i still have not figured out how she can be on one side of the bed and reach me, across Master, to do this. It is a king size bed and she is a very petite lady. 



_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:29:07 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

Although I believe it's only a symbol of what we share, I do prefer that she wear it all the time because the outside world can't see what we share, they can't see what's in our hearts but they can see the symbols of our love and devotion to each other. Twice isn't the only one that wears a "collar" here. Her's is just a more obvious one. We all wear symbols of our devotion. Scooter and I wear our wedding rings, but beyond that, he wears a silver rope that symbolizes our bond in the lifestyle just as my silver choker says the same about me.

As corny as it sounds, somedays I just really like reaching across the bed, half asleep, and feeling that cold steel on her neck.


hmmm and aaaah.  i sort of understand now.  Himself has also said its like to show others.. or for others, i dont quite remember, but then its not quite as he likes to see it.  Its for him.  So the answer is "to show others what you share and because its nice to see it as a reminder to yourself"?

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:32:39 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:


It is what a kajira does, RiotGirl. Do not worry about it. That is part of being a kajira.


lol i'm not a kajira!

It seems others seem to agree with Jewel's thoughts.  Thats cute Twice.  i can see how she does it, but then i'm really petite too.  Size just means nothing. She can, cos she wants too.  LOL

(in reply to Rule)
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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 11:55:02 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline 		Tal and greetings
 
I have read many posts about collars, some made with velcro.  Not my idea and I make my own collars with locks.  For me a collar is a symbol, a strong one!   A slave should understand the reason for a collar and so should a Master/Mistress.  Yes it is much like a wedding ring but it far more than that. 
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

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RE: Collars as Mere Symbols - 4/23/2006 12:42:58 PM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		A wedding ring indentifies one as married, a collar indentifies one as owned, or more accuratly would identify one as owned if there was agreement about what the definition of "owned" is. Currently the collar has no firm meaning BEACAUSE slave has no firm meaning. If the community or an event sets a standard for what a collar means, that one is not entitled to wear one unless they feel that they as an individual accepts that meaning and conforms to the definition, then a collar would mean a lot more than it does not. Right now a collar means what ever the couple or small group (ie a poly relationship)   wants it to mean.

< Message edited by ICGsteve -- 4/23/2006 12:46:39 PM >

(in reply to Nosathro)
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