CaringandReal
Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sweetnymph1125
see, i have a dilemma. i'm into REALLY KINKY THINGS, a lot of kinky things and Master isn't. so i asked Him if maybe i could talk to doms online who could tell me to do kinky things and whatnot, like a cyber dom or something, and He said no. i only want an online dom-like-person so that i can get all my sexual frustrations out and be more submissive because the kinkier things we do, the more submissive i am. if we go a while without doing anything kinky, like flogging, spanking, etc, i get...bratty and i feel like a girlfriend, not a slave, and Master then treats me like a gf but expects me to act like a slave. but doing kinky things puts me into that slave mindset, that's why i want a cyber dom.
Tough one. :/
Normally, I side with the "suck it up and deal with it" crowd (and sometimes that is a lively crowd of one) but I only do so when the situation strikes me as a suck-it-up situation. What is a suck-it-up situation? Well, sometimes I get a clear impression from a submissive posting that she is, indeed owned, and that her troubles are like, hmm... waves being ruffled on the surface while deep underneath it is perfectly calm and steady. In those situations, I believe it's best for a person to stick with the situation that is bothering them and bow their head to their master whatever his will may be as they will get a lot more benefit from doing so--even if things eventually end badly--than if they declared themselves independent or attempted to break the bond.
Ok, so I'm not getting that particular impression here. I understand that you feel owned and that you and he consider you to be owned, but normally when a slave is owned lock, stock, and barrel, she doesn't consider other doms, cyber or not, an option, even when she's intensely physically frustrated, has been for months or years, and feels ready to explode from need. She may feel critical of her master, she may think she'd be happier off without him, she might fantasize about leaving him, but in actuality, she goes nowhere without permision, and other doms remain these vague clouds off on the edges of her peripheral vision, they are not much of a reality for her, in other words. Why? Because she's getting her control needs--if not all her sex needs--met at home, and control needs are very important to a slave.
Look, part of the nature of being owned, really owned--assuming there are degress of own-ed-ness, lol--is being so totally fascinated by the cobra sinuously weaving before you that it never occurs to you, beyond perhaps a few minutes of mental flutter now and again, that you could possible want anything else, be anywhere else, do anything else...of significance. (There's a song about that. But then, there's a song about everything. Almost.) One of the reasons why ownership is real, why it actually works in a day and age when anybody can freely walk away from anything, is because some people know how to entrance and imprison with nothing but their personalities. Often, someone who really is owned doesn't walk not because she's such a miracle of virtuous submission and not because she is gloriously happy (although that is more often than not the case) but becuase her owner has taken care to keep her mind close at hand, deep in his pocket so to speak. The way you wrote your post is not the way someone in this situation normally writes, and I take my cue from that.
I see two good options before you. And yes, I do see you as very much having a free choice about this, and I think you see yourself that way too.
Option the First: This is the harder of the two. Choose of your own free will to "suck it up," to bow your head to your master's wishes and desires, and see what you can learn from this. No, I don't think that you will be rewarded with more kinky sex or that this situation will get any better for you, but I think there is a wonderful opportunity to learn some very interesting things if you take this route. People are always exposed to very valuable learning opportunities in times of hardship, and this would be a time of hardship for you, of that I have no doubt. But working to overcome your rebellion, working to to submit more--even if you feel as though you are submitting to the wrong person--can teach you more about your strong and weak points than five times as much experience spent gliding happily and conflict-free through life. So if you do this, do it for yourself. Don't do it for him, don't do it to be a better submissive. You're at an age where learning new things comes easy and where you have far more opportunities to learn than you will later down the life road, when you are restricted by obligations, responsibilities, and attitudes that are hard to unlearn. So maybe you could teach yourself something about yourself: like how much you really want to submit, how much are you capable of submitting, even when it is hard as hell to do so.
Option the Second: Admit consciously that you two are sexually incompatible. Admit consciously that he doesn't hold you, own you, at least not in the ways I've described above. That is no failing on either of your parts, it just means you two are incompatible. Join the club--I believe everybody giving you advice here has felt that toward someone else at one time or another in their lives. Cleanly break away from him, with as little pain or grief as possible. And then, only then, start looking for a kinkier master.
If you waffle between these two positions you might find yourself doing something much worse, like cheating on him in a way that will really hurt him when he finds out or turning into a shrew out of sheer frustration. These things will hurt you too. Try to avoid them if you can.
_____________________________
"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo
"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
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RE: new-ish slave with problems, experienced doms and s... - 
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