RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally?

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/15/2010 8:30:21 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needs2beused

Only to show that i am willing and happy to submit but no i don't like them

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Do you want to do these "assignments" for him?

Is it this particular man you want to submit to? If so, why?

Or is it that you want someone to belong to, and he's fitting that bill?

There is no commitment here, but you're doing things that don't feel good, and feel too invested at this point. What compels you to do this?

For myself personally, sex didn't even come into conversations between us until we both decided we were committed to developing a relationship together. Keep your head on straight. Ask yourself why you are giving a piece of yourself to this man already, and if it feels right. Figure out what exactly you want, and if he is the right person for you. Because you do have choices.

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/15/2010 8:58:50 PM

almira

Posts: 19
Joined: 1/16/2010
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u need to remember to fall in love/like with the person and not their dominance.

i've made this mistake more than once, and hell i know i'm crazy but if u want a long term thing and not just a play partner, u need to know them as a person first. ask about his vanilla interests and his vanilla life.

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/16/2010 5:34:49 AM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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I don't sense sub frenzy here at all. What you are describing is quite different. But it sounds like this is the sort of reply you are looking for, because you are anxious, scared, insecure about how you are feeling and you want a syndrome to describe it. I simply think you're falling for him. There's nothing wrong with that, and people have been feeling this feeling for thousands of years before the term sub frenzy appeared. I don't think there's anything wrong with what is happening. The fact that he's giving you this sort of assignment, sexual frustration/thinking of him, suggests he wants you to feel this way. That activitiy, when ordered for a submissive, is designed to make you want him more. I liked Jeff's reply, it's something to pay attention to. When some of us fall for a person it's an all or nothing thing. It's in our nature to do so. Holding back, trying to be sane, worrying about Ze Evil SubFrenzi would tarnish something that otherwise could be very intense and pure.

The one point I do agree with what the majority are saying is that you should bring this up with him. Tell him you're falling for him fast and am worried about that and see what he says. His response, and how it makes you feel, will help you learn some important things about his attitudes and abilities, I would think. Good luck!

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/16/2010 9:51:15 AM

SubPet715

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
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I feel as a sub I risk a good deal emotionally, giving someone all that power over me can open me up to potential heartbreaks. When I am with someone I feel close to as a domme its very much a relationship, not unlike any other even though many on the outside looking in would argue with me.

So when I put that trust and power in someone I don't question them or anything they say, to an extent I believe many of the things they tell me. If they aren't being honest or are simply beguiling me into serving them then the potential for heartbreak becomes huge. Plus you need to be open about what you and them want, if love is a possibility, things like that.

As for you, be honest, everyone here tries to find some sort of trick or tactic to find out someones true intentions when its much more forward and effective to just ask. If they did run, or act oddly to that new, then you would at least know...besides if they did act that way would you want to be with them anyway? You would be settling for less and cheating yourself out of what you truly want, never feeling fulfilled and eventually this would lead to bigger problems.

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/16/2010 1:48:57 PM

needs2beused

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I began to discuss this with him last night but there is more i would like to address. I really appreciate everyone's point of view and it helped me step back and see this in other ways which is EXACTLY what i needed!

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Post #: 25

RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/17/2010 10:24:42 AM

lally2

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Joined: 4/16/2009
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i dont think subs risk more emotionally at all - when they find someone who wishes to invest the same energy and emotion or at least similar amounts into it.

it only happens when a sub gets all wrapped up in a guy who is playing games.

i have to say, when i start reading stuff like ' i have to masturbate twice a day without cumming' i start to think 'on-line games'. its easier and lazy to just get a woman to do something like that rather than actually spend time developing the relationship by getting to know each other on a deeper level - you know, talking and stuff.

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RE: Do subs/slaves risk more emotionally? - 9/17/2010 10:40:48 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

i dont think subs risk more emotionally at all - when they find someone who wishes to invest the same energy and emotion or at least similar amounts into it.

it only happens when a sub gets all wrapped up in a guy who is playing games.

i have to say, when i start reading stuff like ' i have to masturbate twice a day without cumming' i start to think 'on-line games'. its easier and lazy to just get a woman to do something like that rather than actually spend time developing the relationship by getting to know each other on a deeper level - you know, talking and stuff.

This.

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Post #: 27