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Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 9:50:04 PM   
dbl


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline 		I have heard rumors that there are Dommes who like Virgins,  I guess I'm simply asking to satisfy my curiosities.   What is your opinion on Virgins?  Is it somehow appealing in the sense that they are "untainted" by other females and can trained from scratch?  Or is it a turn off should you require a sub who knows how to please you and have efficient experience? 

I enjoy that I have remained a Virgin for so long, and am not necessarily willing to just give it away.  At the same time I seek to have a D/S relationship, I tried the whole Vanilla thing, did not work.  I imagine in a D/S relationship not solely about sex it wouldn't be to big of a deal, however would it be more logical to just have sex with a Vanilla girl, just to get that out of the way?
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 9:56:19 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		In fantasy, the idea of having a pure and untainted virgin to defile is extremely appealing.  Promiscuity is a huge turnoff for me. Purity is hard to find, and ever so attractive. Of course, a boy needs to be more than just a virgin to be desirable.  And of course, in reality, someone isn't necessarily a whore because he has past experiences.  I just have no desire to hear about them ad nauseum.

Bear in mind, though, if you're waiting for a special Domme to deflower you, you might be waiting a while.  I sincerely hope not, but you might.

(in reply to dbl)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 9:59:13 PM   
dbl


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Joined: 9/7/2010
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quote:



Bear in mind, though, if you're waiting for a special Domme to deflower you, you might be waiting a while.  I sincerely hope not, but you might.



I am not waiting on that, in fact one thing that really appeals to me is the idea of a Domme to intentionally keep me from having sex, as to maintain my so-called "Purity"

(in reply to Voodali)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:12:09 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		Sorry I just have to say...OP you are so cute and wholesome looking!

I hope you find the woman of your dreams <3

(in reply to dbl)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:14:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Frankly, the virginity thing doesn't matter much to Me.  It's so far down on My list that it probably doesn't even hit the radar.  LOL.

However, if you look at it from a certain perspective, it could be quite an appealing quality specifically to those Dominants who do not wish to have intercourse with their submissive.  It could be a plus from the chastity angle, too. 

Personally, I'm in a closed poly fidelity situation.  I don't engage in casual sex, so I might see it as a positive.  However, the person themselves and other compatibility factors are much higher on My priority list.


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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:15:37 PM   
dbl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Sorry I just have to say...OP you are so cute and wholesome looking!

I hope you find the woman of your dreams <3


:3  Thank you, I hope I do too

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:20:10 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		It has its pros and cons. Overall I see virginity as a good thing in a potential partner, though as I mentioned, it's not without its little issues.

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:20:51 PM   
dbl


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Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Frankly, the virginity thing doesn't matter much to Me.  It's so far down on My list that it probably doesn't even hit the radar.  LOL.

However, if you look at it from a certain perspective, it could be quite an appealing quality specifically to those Dominants who do not wish to have intercourse with their submissive.  It could be a plus from the chastity angle, too. 

Personally, I'm in a closed poly fidelity situation.  I don't engage in casual sex, so I might see it as a positive.  However, the person themselves and other compatibility factors are much higher on My priority list.



Yes I imagined that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill, I always figured it was something to keep secret in the Femdom community.  The chastity angle is always a plus, I just imagine being a Virgin is uncommon for alot more people these, and even moreso the BDSM community.  So if a Domme actually enjoys it, I most certainly am going to enjoy it too.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:31:08 PM   
xkittenx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dbl

... I enjoy that I have remained a Virgin for so long, and am not necessarily willing to just give it away ...



I saw that and seriously expected you to be in your mid 20s at least. hehe

Seriously though, I don't think sex is something to be taken lightly by anyone, virgin or otherwise. Its kind of a big deal but I'm sure you already know that so I won't bother explaining THAT any further.

I've been with two virgins and I'll be honest; I didn't feel at all that I was somehow training them from scratch. They'd seen too much porn for that. My biggest frustration was trying to explain to them that every time we had to stop and try a new position, that just meant they had to get ME going all over again and at that rate I was NEVER going to finish. (By finish, I mean orgasm. Yes I know this is different for everyone.)

Having sex with a vanilla girl to get it over with won't change the fact that you're still going to be sexually inexperienced, by the way. If you've made it this far, you may as well save it for someone you actually WANT to have sex with.

< Message edited by xkittenx -- 9/15/2010 10:32:05 PM >

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:39:26 PM   
dbl


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:



I've been with two virgins and I'll be honest; I didn't feel at all that I was somehow training them from scratch. They'd seen too much porn for that. My biggest frustration was trying to explain to them that every time we had to stop and try a new position, that just meant they had to get ME going all over again and at that rate I was NEVER going to finish. (By finish, I mean orgasm. Yes I know this is different for everyone.)



Yes this was my concern, I have seen plenty of porn in my day, but that is not going to prep me for sex, if anything it will make it worse due to the many misconceptions and fallacies in porn.  I assume that as a Virgin, I'm going to completely suck ass at all things sex related, and I don't have a dominant nature so perhaps I have no place to say anything, but I imagine it would be a turn off to not have someone who skilled and efficient in what they're doing.

(in reply to xkittenx)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:40:12 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xkittenx
I saw that and seriously expected you to be in your mid 20s at least. hehe

OK.  I saw that and had to look at the age on the profile.

At 18, the age is going to be a much bigger issue than the virginity thing.  Just My personal opinion, but that is going to be a much larger hurdle.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to xkittenx)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:44:31 PM   
dbl


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Joined: 9/7/2010
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quote:


At 18, the age is going to be a much bigger issue than the virginity thing.  Just My personal opinion, but that is going to be a much larger hurdle.


Yeah, I noticed at my age a lot of women feel like they're cradle robbing.  At the same time I have had a few discussions and the age apparently isn't too big of a deal, which I'm glad cause it was a big concern for me at first too.

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:45:39 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I can see the plusses and minuses in a virgin. It doesn't really matter to us, though - a willingness to learn and to make us happy is FAR more important than any experience or lack there-of.

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:45:57 PM   
xkittenx


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dbl

I assume that as a Virgin, I'm going to completely suck ass at all things sex related, and I don't have a dominant nature so perhaps I have no place to say anything, but I imagine it would be a turn off to not have someone who skilled and efficient in what they're doing.



Some of the most fun I've had during sex was with people who didn't know what they were doing. On the other hand, some of my worst sex was with "experienced" partners. Don't assume you're going to be terrible at it just because you've never done it before.

What SweetDommes said. ^^ A willingness to learn how to please is going to be far more important to most women, especially dommes.

< Message edited by xkittenx -- 9/15/2010 10:47:45 PM >

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/15/2010 10:50:15 PM   
dbl


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:


I can see the plusses and minuses in a virgin. It doesn't really matter to us, though - a willingness to learn and to make us happy is FAR more important than any experience or lack there-of.


Yeah I'm glad I'm not lacking in that area

quote:


Some of the most fun I've had during sex was with people who didn't know what they were doing. On the other hand, some of my worst sex was with "experienced" partners. Don't assume you're going to be terrible at it just because you've never done it before.


Of course, I try to remain optimistic and confident about sex, but I don't wanna get to cocky.  (I love puns)


< Message edited by dbl -- 9/15/2010 11:09:56 PM >

(in reply to SweetDommes)
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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/16/2010 8:19:04 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~

Chalk me up as one of the dommes who LOVES virgins. I love to start from scratch and teach exactly how I like things done - no bad habits to break, no preconceived notions to evict from the sub's mindset, nothing but what I want. I never tire of it.

That being said, I do expect for my sub to be completely available to me in all ways, including sexual. I understand not wanting to "give it away" but you should feel the same way about giving away your submission. If you trust the woman to be your dominant, then you should trust her enough to give her your virginity. If you've chosen well, then having sex with your dominant will be a natural extension of your relationship and you won't feel like you're sacrificing anything. I'm also the sort of person who doesn't have casual sex. For me, sex is less about physical gratification and more a sacred bonding ritual between my partner and myself. While I may be in the minority as far as the sanctity of sex is concerned, I'm sure there are plenty of dominant women who don't engage in casual sex. Find one of them, and build a solid relationship with her.

Have fun and good luck.

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/16/2010 9:52:05 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I was gonna say something clever about white dresses and dragons...but that is just one of -my- fantasies.  

OP, Welcome and well met!  Being discerning of your sexual experiences is, IMO, a good thing that shows strength of character.  :)


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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/16/2010 10:27:58 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Dagnabbit, Otter! Now I have Do Virgins Taste Better stuck in my head. All your fault.

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 9/16/2010 10:37:22 AM >

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/16/2010 10:46:49 AM   
dbl


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I was gonna say something clever about white dresses and dragons...but that is just one of -my- fantasies.  

OP, Welcome and well met!  Being discerning of your sexual experiences is, IMO, a good thing that shows strength of character.  :)


Thanks for the welcome :3

quote:


That being said, I do expect for my sub to be completely available to me in all ways, including sexual. I understand not wanting to "give it away" but you should feel the same way about giving away your submission. If you trust the woman to be your dominant, then you should trust her enough to give her your virginity.


I don't value my virginity way too much, giving it away is not that big of a deal, I'm going to expect a majority of Dommes to want some form of sexual contact, cause I do too.  And when it happens, it happens, not a big deal.  I just think of it as a Trophy for a Domme to have, if that makes any sense.  I just figure that if it should go to anyone, it should go to a Domme, since I find it hard to be in any normal relationship with a Vanilla girl.  I'm not about to let my being a virgin get in the way of finding a Domme and making her happy; I just wanted to know what a Domme thinks about it, since I feel like I'm deceiving them if I'm not going to tell them about it, and if I do tell them I don't know if they find me as appealing as they did before.


Thank everyone for the help!  Answered alot of questions I needed answered.


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RE: Opinion on Virgins - 9/16/2010 6:32:45 PM   
JustifiedAncient


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/15/2010
Status: offline 		I like virgin Dommes. Gimme a nice sorority girl with furry handcuffs who thinks Lifestyle is a brand of condom and whose only experience with bondage is the Anne Rice Sleeping Beauty series and maybe duct taping freshman cheerleaders to the goal posts in high school.  Yummy.

(in reply to dbl)
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