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What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/18/2010 9:01:43 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

What does "dominance" mean to you?

The question is broad and can involve the sexual/relationship aspects or even how you relate to random other people.

After I asked someone to describe what submissiveness meant to them, I've tried to answer this question for myself. (I'll put my detailed reply below.)

Something else to consider:

quote:

leadership527
can responsibly connect love with dominance

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/18/2010 9:08:38 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/18/2010 9:48:15 AM

Shadow-tiger

Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline

Here's a funny idea: Dominance doesn't mean a damn thing to me, it's just a word.

And yet it's so much more than that as well. An idea, a way of carrying one's self, a way of seeing the world and getting what you want. As an ephemeral dominance isn't something I worry too much about myself. Mostly because I can never really pin it down, nor can I say 'see what I did there? totally being dominant!'

All I know is that I act the way I act, others react as they act. Not particularly insightful, but I doubt I could really define it better for myself.

_____________________________

Just some guy (profile)
Just a tiny bit evil
My kind of love song

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 2

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/18/2010 11:08:02 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

To me, it means leadership (hence my nick) because I tend to think in social terms rather than relationship ones.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 3

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/18/2010 11:14:50 AM

Inthewoods

Posts: 36
Joined: 4/5/2010
Status: offline

quiet authority and inspiring respect

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 4

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/18/2010 10:48:20 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

cold beer and sandwiches . . . delivered

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Inthewoods)

Post #: 5

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 2:08:37 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

wet patch in my knickers? - prolly not what youre asking -

its hard to define, and yet im getting quite good at picking it up from emails now. it isnt the bombardment of personality and demands storming the gates to my little garden and scaring the pixies away.

i think its about a directness that walks into my garden, gently removes the pixie off the garden chair, sits down and says 'hello, how are you today'

ive been exchanging emails with a guy in australia, we have alot to talk about though with me in the UK, its a total non-runner. even so - he has nothing to prove and no desire to, he just is how he is and he talks how it is and a Ds connection is building between the 12,000 miles between us. its very powerful, though this is and never will be an online relationship, i dont do them. compare that to another guy who is largely kink in the bedroom only and not at all Ds and the 'authority' in his voice, tone, attitude, personality just isnt there - its like talking to any guy off the street.

its indefineable.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 6

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 5:18:00 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

can only describe form what i feel for master.

he knows himself and is comfy and strong with who he is, he never looses temper if he feels he may he will always make sure he tempers it and deals with the reason why be it his fault or another's , is never violent or abusive, (but belting me to space to me isn't abuse just wonderful) he can use even a whisper and i will respond to his voice, i feel totally loved, protected, cherished, his happiness is mine and mine is his, he has a look that says more than any word. he is a leader and leads the relationship similar to what leadership says and has said in the past.

he is someone i can trust like no other in my past. and he has the same trust in me.

what is his dominance his voice his look his strength his self knowledge

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 7

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:08:54 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

that they're the the all powerful, all knowing, wizard of oz, not.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 8

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:12:22 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Like Leadership, for me the lines between Dominance and leadership is oft blurred. One could say that at times Dominance/Leadership was legally enforced by virtue of military rank, and yet with my own merc team I lead by virtue of my abilities and personality and dedication as well as caring for the well-being of my troopers (both male and female). The bonds shared have been forged in blood and fire. Socially, my dominance is purely based on what I am as a person and thus there are those who I am able to dominate and there are those who I am not able to. Those who I can tend to stay with me and the rest I have little to do with, although when I need to deal with them I am able if I so desire to exert my will and achieve the results I desire without making them offers they can't refuse. Basically I live my life as I choose and there are those who love, like, care and/or respect me for what I am or what I do just as there are those who either hate or just avoid me. That is nature and that is life so the status-quo remains.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)

Post #: 9

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:23:09 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

for me it means you take the lead, are assertive and holds a considerable amount of power.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 10

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:27:16 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I don't know anymore, since apparently no one I am meeting possesses that characteristic. It seems to a be a word that many men are using since they think it might get them laid and/or they can pretend to be something they are not, online.

I got a mani/pedicure yesterday, she was pretty dominant.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 11

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:39:21 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

dominance is what i let Him have over me... and when i don't let Him have it He always manages to put me in my place

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 12

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 8:09:43 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

What does "dominance" mean to you?

To quote from Theodore Roosevelt's Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris April 23,1910

quote:

We must ever remember that no keenness and subtleness of intellect, no polish, no cleverness, in any way make up for the lack of the great solid qualities. Self restraint, self mastery, common sense, the power of accepting individual responsibility and yet of acting in conjunction with others, courage and resolution - these are the qualities which mark a masterful people. Without them no people can control itself, or save itself from being controlled from the outside.

Dominance, for me, involves character and integrity. I know some very dominant people who identify as submissive and met some people who identify as dominant who have no understanding of the concept of leadership.

Edited to add...........It has been my experience that many people confuse dominance for topping and assume because they can swing a flogger, they can lead a person. It's best not to assume.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 9/19/2010 8:21:15 AM >

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 13

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 10:37:02 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
One could say that at times Dominance/Leadership was legally enforced by virtue of military rank, and yet with my own merc team I lead by virtue of my abilities and personality and dedication as well as caring for the well-being of my troopers (both male and female).

*chuckles* Yeah, and your positional authority "enforced" by the chain of command was worth how much exactly? I've never noticed positional authority to get you much more than a hearing with your followers. After that, you either lead in a way which inspires or you don't. I've read one too many stories of the green lieutenant getting "accidentally" shot by his more experienced sergeant. I've seen the same thing happen in corporate contexts. For myself, I feel that a box on an org chart isn't even worth the paper it's printed on.... which has interesting ramifications when you think that "master" is just a box on an org chart.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 12:16:17 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

What does "dominance" mean to you?

The question is broad and can involve the sexual/relationship aspects or even how you relate to random other people.

After I asked someone to describe what submissiveness meant to them, I've tried to answer this question for myself. (I'll put my detailed reply below.)

Something else to consider:
quote:

leadership527
can responsibly connect love with dominance

Speaking merely from my experience Dominance is intangible, nonetheless perceived in actions, character, motives, intent and presence. Dominance is not something that can be contrived. Nor can it be bought or sold for a price. Instead Dominance is that which is characteristically evident within the heart, soul and mind yet not identically expressed exactly by all who are Dominant.

Dominance is a silent knowing, an immoveable potency, a fire inextinguishable and a natural internal expression that is uncompromisingly at its heights in each and every action with a calm strength that is unyielding to the fiercest conditions. Dominance is a state of internal assurance that radiates into each and all circumstances with a commanding guidance that instills inspiration undoubtedly.

Dominance is that which is innate in the soul and released with a sense of irrevocable confidence. Dominance is relentless protection towards those who are entrusted into the care of the one who is naturally dominant. Dominance is a way of life that is lived in daily life, unquestionably.

Dominance is fearless in the face of integrity and abides in the presence of the principle of a character mastered into wholeness. Dominance is that which is called into being by a course of natural effects within the one who indeed has embraced the trueness of their being, unashamedly. Dominance knows no return from being what it is, influential unmistakable self-mastery.

Take care!

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 15

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:52:02 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

Guidance, direction, structure, authority, strength, to command respect

pam

(in reply to Zevar)

Post #: 16

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/19/2010 7:57:45 PM

QuirkyAnne

Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline

It's an innate quality that inspires a submissive response for me that I revel in.

_____________________________

Anne

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just STUPID."

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 17

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/20/2010 11:18:39 PM

GingerGirl4USA

Posts: 28
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline

I agree with what is said here..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Inthewoods

quiet authority and inspiring respect

(in reply to Inthewoods)

Post #: 18

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/20/2010 11:59:32 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

It means one shows having the ability to dominate something.

I like Dictionaries.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to GingerGirl4USA)

Post #: 19

RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/21/2010 8:04:56 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
One could say that at times Dominance/Leadership was legally enforced by virtue of military rank, and yet with my own merc team I lead by virtue of my abilities and personality and dedication as well as caring for the well-being of my troopers (both male and female).
*chuckles* Yeah, and your positional authority "enforced" by the chain of command was worth how much exactly? I've never noticed positional authority to get you much more than a hearing with your followers. After that, you either lead in a way which inspires or you don't. I've read one too many stories of the green lieutenant getting "accidentally" shot by his more experienced sergeant. I've seen the same thing happen in corporate contexts. For myself, I feel that a box on an org chart isn't even worth the paper it's printed on.... which has interesting ramifications when you think that "master" is just a box on an org chart.

Actually old mate, the best authority enforced or not by a chain of command is the sort which has your blokes following you because they believe you may actually have a clue and at least trust that you will not leave them to die alone. This dumb ass believes that as the commander I had to be first off and last on a chopper. Anyway I was lucky enough to have a couple of Mstr Sgts who took this green officer under their wing and train me in my trade and was smart enough to learn from them. I knew a really quiet bloke, he only wore a couple of stripes on his sleeve and just did his tasks as required, never got in anyone's face, went the extra mile when necessary and asked nothing in return. I've seen rookies automatically salute him because he exuded the power of command. Ive seen generals salute him too in some awe. he wore a purple ribbon nearest his heart and the first of a number of decorations. (this purple was of course the Victoria Cross (British version of the CMH). As a kid I learned a lot about handling people from him too.. As for me, I'm nothing special. Done a few unusual things, met and know a good number of awesome folks about the world. I simply have my code of conduct, integrity, honour and beliefs. I'm just the fool who draws a line in the sand and defends what he believe to be right and screw the consequences. Making friends and being popular are not what I am on earth for.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 20

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