RE: What does Dominance mean to you?

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/21/2010 11:57:08 AM

bliss4us09

Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
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Maybe better answers to this would come from an Ask A Slave forum. Whether I think of myself as dominant or not, if my partner does it's real.

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/21/2010 12:05:40 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Why? Don't you feel that Dominants are qualified or competent to reply as to what Dominance means to them who wield it?

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/21/2010 12:26:19 PM

Voodali

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Joined: 10/2/2007
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To some, dominance is the ability to waltz into any social situation and get everyone to do what you want. To me, that's stressful, possibly disrespectful, depending on the situation, and unrealistic. To me, dominance is a kink as opposed to a social trait, the desire to lead one attractive person who has given control to me, not to make an attempt to bully or manipulate my way into leading any number of unwilling people. Often, as someone just said, the line between kinky dominance and social dominance gets blurred, and the kinky dominant is expected to lead.

There are dominants who don't lead socially, and there are submissives who do. A great leader, in my opinion, is a servant of the people. Sometimes I find myself being that leader, and sometimes the position is more wisely bestowed on someone else. A group trying to accomplish something does need one, or it will fall into chaos....but it needs one, in my opinion, not several egos vying for the position. There are times to relax, sit back, and let someone else lead, and there are times to realize that one is needed and step in for the good of the group.

In my ideal vision, a good kinky dominant has a certain poise and integrity. Knowing her potential power, she deals politely with people until anything else has been consented to, or, I suppose, if someone has truly merited her disrespect. Her attitude is almost chivalrous. There is no need to engage in pissing contests with other dominants, because she is secure in her power. There is no need to try to force an unwilling submissive to become something he or she doesn't (at least secretly) want to become. I think its more about knowing what she wants, remaining firm in that knowledge, and simply deflecting disrespect and attempts to control her like a fluid martial arts move. Incidentally, I say this is my ideal, not that I have mastered it.

< Message edited by Voodali -- 9/21/2010 1:17:37 PM >

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/21/2010 3:36:28 PM

D0M1NANT

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I agree with a combination of what shadow tiger and inthewoods Bboth say.. I am Me. Period. Always have been. I make no excuses for it and do not apologize for how I am. Anyone who does not like Me is free to go about their business. Dominance is a way of life. It is all about knowing wrong and right and following what is right regardless of what others or even society at large think. It is a sense of acting honorably in all things and once one gives their word, not allowing death itself to be a valid excuse for breaking it. The ONLY thing I have in this world to give is My word. If I give it and let it wilt by not upholding it, how can anyone ever trust Me? O.o Just My two cents..

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/22/2010 12:01:18 AM

Twoshoes

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Well, I didn't limit the question to any specific group.

I just thought I had 0 dominance.
Recently, I've realized it's not something that comes in absolutes.
And while I have neither the skills or the desire to lead large groups of people, sometimes I lead in my interactions with those close to me.

I have a friend who is more charismatic than me by a large enough margin, so I've been sending people asking me for guidance to him on a regular basis, because I don't enjoy the burden of responsibility.

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/25/2010 2:59:02 PM

OneMaster4You

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Joined: 5/5/2009
From: San Francisco
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Domiance is the ability to masterfully guide someone to act in a manner that is conducive to one's desires. A fine line exists between Dominant/Master and bully.

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RE: What does Dominance mean to you? - 9/25/2010 4:02:16 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

Well, I didn't limit the question to any specific group.

I just thought I had 0 dominance.
Recently, I've realized it's not something that comes in absolutes.
And while I have neither the skills or the desire to lead large groups of people, sometimes I lead in my interactions with those close to me.

I have a friend who is more charismatic than me by a large enough margin, so I've been sending people asking me for guidance to him on a regular basis, because I don't enjoy the burden of responsibility.

I think most people have dominant and submissive qualities in lesser or greater degrees. It is normal and healthy to have a multidimensional "personality". I also think that some qualities that are considered "dominant" really aren't dominant. Being "assertive" is such a quality. I do not see being a forward person as being a dominant trait. Just because a person is forward, able to speak up, take a stand... it does not say that this person is in charge of others, or even desires to be.

I think some people believe bullying traits are "dominant", again, I would say that is probably not be the case, because people in charge do not have to bully to be so, and it isn't really a successful way to wield power.

I think of a dominant person as being someone who inspires people to follow them, enjoys being in charge, and takes to it naturally. Very few people fit all three criteria unless they are dominant. For example, I am assertive, people often follow my lead, but I do not feel "natural" about that, nor do I enjoy it...

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