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Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 2:45:37 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		As I glance over the available male submissive population, it occurs to me that although some (well, ok, most) of the ones that are eliminated are due to the typical reasons (focused on their own fetish fulfillment, too sexually tunnel-visioned, etc..),
there are a few whom I have passed over based on a kind of socio-economic status. Not that they are poor.. not at all.. just the opposite. It's almost like I see some of them and I think "That'd be a good sub. Too bad he's from the other side of the tracks."

These are the ones who have obtained their doctrate degrees, have served a 2-digit number of years under a very wealthy Mistress in the House of whatever, have an income that makes my jaw drop, and now they're getting ready to retire and want to settle down and spend their hefty retirement on making a Mistress happy.

Here I am, a NOT wealthy lady (just making ends meet), in one of the poorest states in the nation, renting an apartment, never went on to get my Master's in my field, haven't donned a piece of jewelry in the last 2 years, and raising a teenager whose convinced he's part of some illusionary gang.

I'm sure part of it is all perception, but I see the above described submissive as "out of my league". Even if by some chance of fate this person walked into my life, I think it would be very awkward for me to try to Dominate him. He would be used to a lifestyle I couldn't provide.

(On the other hand, I'd know for damn sure he was truly surrendering to me and not trying to use me for money, lol)

Have any of you ladies ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? Or is it me?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:01:51 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I'm sure you already know this on some level, but if you judge your worth or someone else's worth by their financial level, you may cut the right person out of the loop for whatever criteria you've attached to the dynamic. Not everyone is motivated solely by financial terms. I know I hate anything financial and only work at the job I do because it means I don't have to live an uncomfortable lifestyle. But if money didn't have to exist, I'd be just fine without. I guess that's why I'd have such a hard time with one of the financial dominants; well, one of many reasons I guess.

At the same time, comparing one's intellectual achievements by one's successful education is a never ending odyssey into despair. I was lucky to attend a prestigious university and then go back to school. But to be honest, some of the most brilliant people I have known had so much less formal education than I have. I guess it helps that I'm a Socratic (I truly believe I know nothing). I see avenues to learn new things under almost every rock and from every person. I see everyone as brilliant, if you give that person enough opportunities to show why they might be.

As strange as this seems, I think I started to find true happiness when I stopped comparing myself to other people. I'm not the smartest person in the world, or in my apartment where I live alone. Neither am I the wealthiest. And to be honest, I don't want to be either of those titles. I've been content writing my novels, one after another (finished my latest this evening, by the way, which means I'm having trouble putting sentences together in a logical order right now), and if I can make a few people smile and happy as a result, I've done my time here in a way that makes me happy.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:07:26 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline 		Hmm.. well Ma'am,

Although I'm not a Dom/me, I have been in Your situation a fair number of times. It's kind of hard to describe how I have handled that... But, in most cases, I found myself looking for a reason to contact Her, despite my personal views of how I would appear to Her. 

One example, was just the other day... I happened to notice a Dominant who didn't know how to prepare a certain meal. Since I do have a little bit of culinary exp; I contacted her with some advice. While I never recieved a response from her, it DID provide an opening to talk. Did I happen to find this Woman out of my league? Yes.. that goes without saying. But, I took a chance.

One never knows what the dice will turn untill they roll them.

Hope this helps

*Bp*

< Message edited by blackpearl81 -- 4/23/2006 3:11:19 PM >

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:08:13 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		In a word... Nope.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:16:54 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Wow.  3 sub men in the ask a Mistress forum.  Oh well, here are my 2 cents worth as well.

From what You have described, it's not so much a matter of them being too good for you, as I usually hear the term "out of your league" used, but rather that your lifestyles differ.  They differ in a similar way that a masochist will never be happy with an entirely non-sadistic Mistress.  You do not have something in common, something which you consider to be make-or-break.  You do not see yourself being able to live with someone of such a different lifestyle.  This does not make him better, or worse, just different.

I would say you are playing basketball, he is playing hockey.  When your teams meet, it may be fun to watch, but not a lot of meaningful results will come of it.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to blackpearl81)
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RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:21:11 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Thank you so much for writing this, I hope some more folks reply.
 
I have been talking with some one I am very attracted to, and enjoy very much, and who enjoys me too, then yesterday I made the mistake of googling him, and found out he is a multimillionaire, well I cant explain it but all of the sudden I am really nervous, and getting all weird, I mean I make a decent living and all, but it just really freaks me out.
 
I am going to face it head on I think, I am going to tell him I googled him and that I am intimidated by his wealth, and just hope that by being totally honest and vulnerable, that it will put me more at ease, and allow me to get past it.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:22:34 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		i've never felt like that in my entire life.

i've never felt like any environment i go to is out of my league. i've never felt out of place at any 5 star restaurant. i've never met a man i felt was out of my league.. vanilla or otherwise.

the males you're describing as the ones you avoid are precisely the sort that i attract and prefer. i want someone that is well-educated, successful in life (and no that doesn't mean financial, but rather someone that has worked hard and actually has accomplished things).. i prefer males that have careers or own their own businesses/firms.  i go after Alpha males. i don't want a sub that is obvious to everyone else that he has submissive tendancies. i want a male that is only submissive to me- and these tend to be successful type A personalities.

nothing is more gratifying than controlling someone that's powerful in his career but yet is a big ole boot licking, strapon taking sissy bitch for me.

i don't feel like they're out of my league at all.. in fact they're right up my alley.


_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:23:00 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Wow.  3 sub men in the ask a Mistress forum.  Oh well, here are my 2 cents worth as well.


Better do a recount benji


_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:24:33 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I understand what you are asking and why. I guess I have been very fortunate in the last 20 years of my life to have had the exposure to such a wide variety of people that I have. Though I was a teen mother and married early I still in many ways feel that I have led a very sheltered life until the last 5 years or so. Though I grew up very poor somewhere along the line I got over the stigma in my mind of what that meant even though much of my family has not. In their minds there is still that whole "they think they are better than us" thought process and though they would deny it they do truely feel that those with more money or a financially better background are somehow better. I am not sure when or where I lost that but I can honestly say that I am totally comfortable with anyone as long as they are a decent human being. That being said, I am still very concious of people being uncomfortable around me. Namely my family for their perceived ideas of who I am....lesbian, dominant, and comfortable around people that are "different" than them. For awhile I tried to not discuss certain things and hide my true self, it didn't work. Now I have just come to accept that they may never "get me" and thats okay. I do. However with all that blab, I do understand why you feel as you do.........men in the place you describe can be VERY intimidating sometimes. I have always worked with the public in some form or other and for awhile had a job that meant I had to approach self employeed people, usually sucessful men in the 40's and 50's and sell them a service. At first I SUCKED! I was so intimidated by their whole demeanor and when things got into tough negotiations I would crumble. Welllll, it took me getting pissed off at myself mostly and one man and his rude attitude to turn me around. After that I realized I just had to play the game their way and be colder and tougher and damn, if it didn't work like a charm. I think that first of all I surprised them because they were just not used to that sort of skirmish and second of all I managed to do it with my very best ladylike southern charm my great-aunt tried so hard to drill into me. I worked with all men and after that they would always find it a game to give me the toughest and usually wealthiest, guys. Also a few interesting tatoo/piercing places and a guy running house of prostitution....thats all a whole other funny story. Yes, I know blabbing again.....needless to say that 15 - 20 years ago I would have totally been where you are in that feeling!

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:25:53 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		My recommendation would be to stop playing baseball and allow a wealthy sub to adore you if that's his calling.  It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Have any of you ladies ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? Or is it me?

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:33:00 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

quote:

Wow.  3 sub men in the ask a Mistress forum.  Oh well, here are my 2 cents worth as well.


Better do a recount benji



Actually, I started my post before yours was posted.  So I was referring to sarbonn, blackpearl and myself.  Besides, you're not even submissive.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:52:43 PM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

...there are a few whom I have passed over based on a kind of socio-economic status. Not that they are poor.. not at all.. just the opposite. It's almost like I see some of them and I think "That'd be a good sub. Too bad he's from the other side of the tracks."

These are the ones who have obtained their doctrate degrees, have served a 2-digit number of years under a very wealthy Mistress in the House of whatever, have an income that makes my jaw drop, and now they're getting ready to retire and want to settle down and spend their hefty retirement on making a Mistress happy...


Why pass on them?
Don't make the mistake of falling prey to classism and don't accept it from anyone else.
Be the best person you know you can be and you needn't worry about someone being "better" than you because they're richer.
I have no doubt that some "subs" who come from wealthy backgrounds have probably been trained by their families to be classist, but not all.
Think of how many more open-mided, socially-conscious, wealthy subs would consider a woman like you to be a breath of fresh air after a lifetime of being surrounded by helpless, limp-wristed princesses?
By overlooking men based on their income tyou are denying them the ability to make the choice of checking you out as a potential Domme.

quote:


I'm sure part of it is all perception, but I see the above described submissive as "out of my league". Even if by some chance of fate this person walked into my life, I think it would be very awkward for me to try to Dominate him. He would be used to a lifestyle I couldn't provide.


If he's so wealthy, he would not need you to provide him with such. What he would need from you is Domination.:)


quote:



Have any of you ladies ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? Or is it me?


Not in that way. The opposite. Uneducated, racist, classist, socially-retarded, politically blind, ill-mannered, not serious about their submission, not spiritual, not offering any services or anything else I can use... This I consider to be "out of my league".:)

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 3:54:18 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		*Pats benji on the head* My bad.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to MarinaBlack)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 4:33:42 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline 		yep i have seen many profiles that specify self supporting but not wealthy.  To intimidating to deal with i suppose as wealth if not newly inherited only comes from discipline in life. nothing worse than a slave with more discipline than the domme lol 

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 4:41:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

These are the ones who have obtained their doctrate degrees, have served a 2-digit number of years under a very wealthy Mistress in the House of whatever, have an income that makes my jaw drop, and now they're getting ready to retire and want to settle down and spend their hefty retirement on making a Mistress happy.


My very first boy met the above criteria, He was a high ranking executive with a fortune 500. When I met him I was sharing a house with 3 other girls and we had to allow a boyfirend to move in to make ends meet and keep the yard done.

It was nice, he was allowed to "keep" (had to lock the others in a trunk and bring me the key) only a few of his exotic and elaborate toys. His pony tail was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Show horses (million plus) that I'd been around didn't have tails this shiney and georgous and the plug was the most finely carved and sanded thing I'd ever seen. Don't still miss the boy but sure miss this tail can ya tell

I had to limit him to a certain dollar amount for gifts such that I didn't feel like I was being bought. Once made him return earrings I wanted sooo badly and donate the money to my favorite charity. He later told me that this kept him focused on serving me instead of buying me.

I've had boys with more money and education than I have...they all look the same on their knees. Personally I think you're missing out on a toy that's very very amusing when used correctly. You already have the thing that they want...no... need, which is the desire and willingness to kick them off their high horse when necessary. These matches are just like any other if you're learning something from each other daily...you have a winner.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 5:23:51 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		theRose4U
quote:

I've had boys with more money and education than I have...they all look the same on their knees.


haha.. amen!




_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 5:55:10 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
yep i have seen many profiles that specify self supporting but not wealthy.  To intimidating to deal with i suppose as wealth if not newly inherited only comes from discipline in life. nothing worse than a slave with more discipline than the domme lol 


Oh, this is so not true. A lot of it depends on nothing more than what family one was born into.
And on the flip side of that coin, the lack of wealth does not equate to a lack of discipline.

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 6:22:23 PM   
MochaMistress


Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

From what You have described, it's not so much a matter of them being too good for you, as I usually hear the term "out of your league" used, but rather that your lifestyles differ.  They differ in a similar way that a masochist will never be happy with an entirely non-sadistic Mistress.  You do not have something in common, something which you consider to be make-or-break.  You do not see yourself being able to live with someone of such a different lifestyle.  This does not make him better, or worse, just different.

I would say you are playing basketball, he is playing hockey.  When your teams meet, it may be fun to watch, but not a lot of meaningful results will come of it.

Yours,


benji



With me its not financial that makes me feel that the sub is out of my league. Its the ones that are painsluts and I'm not a sadistic Mistress. Those are the ones that I pass over. Our kinks dont line up. I'm looking for a precious pet and they want to be abused and used. Nothing wrong with that its just not my thing.  Thanks benji for stating my thoughts so clearly.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 6:27:54 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MochaMistress

Thanks benji for stating my thoughts so clearly.



You're welcome.  It's easy when you're psychic.

Yours, (I know you want it, I'm psychic...  lol)


benji

Edited for accidentally writing psycho instead of psychic.  Anyone mentions Freud and I'll spam you with requests to own you.

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/23/2006 6:30:01 PM >

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to MochaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 6:55:55 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Aloha Mocha Mistress, I see that you are new and I thought I might offer you a perspective that you might not have thought about already. You said :

" I'm looking for a precious pet and they want to be abused and used."
 
Many pain sluts are also precious pets, the pain the majority of pain sluts want is the equal amount to what they are capable of turning into joyful, spinny endorphins.
 
This is a skill and takes practice, the more you practice the better you get hence the more pain you can tolerate. This is also true for dominants, the more you practice giving out higher and higher levels of pain the more intimately connected to the power-dynamic you become, hence more yummy "dom space"
 
I highly recommend that you dont automatically dismiss pain sluts, they can be so delightful and many of them make the most precious of pets aswell.


_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to MochaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 20
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