RE: How do you become a good Dom?

RE: How do you become a good Dom? (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 8:11:53 PM)
The Loving Dominant by John Warren .... Read it

poise -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 8:20:33 PM)
Alright..who stole his pic and his profile? I wanted to see if he listened to DomImus.[:-]

DesFIP -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 8:28:54 PM)
OP, I would also strongly suggest that you reconsider your belief that a good dominant is without kindness. Because for many of us, an attitude like that would be an immediate red flag. Everybody needs kindness, both to give and to get. The porn about the strict, stern master who never smiles and whips the slaves nightly is just that, porn. It is not a good way to establish a relationship. Life throws us curve balls, if you can't see any reason to cut a sub a break when they need one, don't expect to ever get one.

sexyred1 -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 9:24:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit #4. Don't be greedy or over-estimate your own attractiveness. Submissives are just as shallow as Dominants. If you are a gay man, get in shape. Don't expect to attract someone that is in better shape than you, unless you got a lot of cash and/or an in demand job (Cop, fireman, lawyer, doctor, politician) If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women (90% of women want someone tall - even if they are themselves short. Submissive women usually want someone MUCH taller than them). A tall fat man beats a thin short guy (one study found that women would rather date a violent convict than a 5'0" man). Again, a great job/cash may counter this. The crap that is said on these threads never ceases to amaze me. Total bullshit. Perhaps you have overestimated your intelligence.

sexyred1 -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 9:26:15 PM)
NM

DeusEx1 -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 9:33:03 PM)
You wish to be a great dominant? First then, you need to be in control of your life before you can even begin to control someone elses. If what I read from other posters is true, you are 18 years old. Most likely at this juncture you have no clue as to what you want with the rest of your life or even how to be in control of your life at this point. That being said, don't you think its a bit unfair to even begin to think you can control someone else without first having control of yourself? Do you have stable income? Your own place? Higher education? Do you have career goals? These are things that should be occupying your life at this point in time. Not some fantasy ideal that you cannot make happen right now because you are not prepared to do so.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 9:53:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaverickUnleash I am currently wondering how you become a dominant in a relationship but so far I have not found anything that can help me with that matter. I'm hoping someone could help me along with this. Interest beyond the absurdity of pretense for simply creative fucking, and a lot of time, patience and learning. Jump in and do it. Before trying anything that could potentially kill or maim your ass clapping sex kittens from Gor, do your homework. In my younger days I did a lot of absolutely insane and evil things that could have gone terribly wrong. Thankfully, nothing did, but that doesn't mean one shouldn't keep in mind realities of circulation or locations of vital organs in the body when going full bore with a cane against flesh. That aside, the science of beating people isn't where it's really at, anyway; leadership, influence and filling your own space to a positive affect is.

juliaoceania -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 9:54:26 PM)
At least at 18 he knew he didn't know enough to go out and start running another human being's life. He at least asked... I could think of many "dominant" men in their 50s and 60s that seem clueless, and yet think their age alone qualifies them as experts

gungadin09 -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/26/2010 10:11:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women (90% of women want someone tall - even if they are themselves short. Submissive women usually want someone MUCH taller than them).. Hell, if you're under 5'8", find a short woman and lie to her and say you're over six foot. She'll never know the difference. Aside to the wimmins reading this: My suggestion in no way, shape, or form relates to any other practices that men are alleged to do. i'm sure You don't need to exaggerate anything, Stevie. No doubt You're very well endowed... in terms of "height". pam

ranja -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 1:41:47 AM)
if there is a girl you like... flirt with her... make her feel really good and she might wanna be your girlfriend if she does wanna be your girlfriend then you can concentrate on being a real good lover to her... if you need tips and she does not know the answers read 'the joy of sex' by Alex Comfort... it is the BEST beginner sex book ever, for both sexes If you become her hero in shining armour giving her fantastic sexytime and hopefully mind blowing orgasms... she probably will do absolutely anything for you

crazyml -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 3:20:03 AM)
Solid response, Especially: quote: However what I can offer you is to never allow another to define for yourself what dominance means to you. Finally never feel any shame when identifying as a man who is dominant, do so without apology, aye! I encourage to forge your own path. Never look back. Above all never forsake your willingness to commit yourself to self-examination with the goal of becoming the dominant man that you were meant to be. Note these are solely personal thoughts that are not at all meant to be an answer for your seeking. Nothing more, nothing less. Iron sharpens Iron, aye! Take care! [/font] Quality biblical reference too.

Kana -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 6:26:01 AM)
Get a Master's degree!

Zevar -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 8:26:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Quality biblical reference too. Pardon?

crazyml -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 8:38:57 AM)
"Iron sharpens Iron" is from the book of Proverbs [Ed to correct spelling of "Proverbs" <- Sheesh!]

leadership527 -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 9:06:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaverickUnleash 1. I enjoy having control. Complete control is how I was taught as a life skill. As a one liner, the single best advice I've seen on these boards is: Be the kind of dom that seeks responsibility, not authority." Your post is all about how you want to control things. So what? You and about 80% of the human race want to control things. Food for thought.

usemetopleaseyou -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 9:37:55 AM)
Just grab a sub and play with them as you like. It will make you a better Dom if you can keep a sub happy.

Zevar -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 1:43:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml "Iron sharpens Iron" is from the book of Proverbs [Ed to correct spelling of "Proverbs" <- Sheesh!] Indeed the Book of Proverbs does contain those words. In fact the English Standard Version (©2001) says it like this in context: "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" Take note that I was not intending to refer to Biblical content at all in my reply to the Op regarding " How do you become a good Dom?" I was simply illustrating to the Op how that the character of a man can become sharpened by another Dominant man who has been sharpened by another Dominant man, if he chooses so, of course. Nothing more, nothing less. Take care!

Hillwilliam -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 1:51:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit # If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women I'm 5'7 and have one word for that. BULLSHIT

scharma -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 2:13:16 PM)
No 1 Be who you want to be only then progress to No 2 Make her happy as it will be easy

lizi -> RE: How do you become a good Dom? (9/27/2010 2:32:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit # If you are a straight man under 5'8, your best bet will be overweight women I'm 5'7 and have one word for that. BULLSHIT I agree. My Dom is also 5'7", I sure am glad he didn't limit himself to a certain part of the female submissive population because of his height or I'd have been overlooked. The poster who put forth this silly theory has a history of coming up with utterly unfounded gems every once in a while. OP, you've gotten a lot of good advice here. I commend you in trying to suss out unfamiliar territory in advance in order to try to do the right thing. I'd have to agree with the posters that said to get out and experience things in person, and do your background reading. Good luck!

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