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Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:15:00 PM   
naughtynick81


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Doesn't it feel odd how women are perfectly accepted or sympathised when they are insecure. Such as being a BBW etc. "You have to accept that I'm a BBW" or else these men who don’t are awful.

Yet, if a man is insecure about his stance as a man for ANYTHING, he is likely to be belittled/told to man up, and basically all the blame is on him with shame.

Why the double standard?

Not that I have anything against BBW's but the insecure factor is a prime example
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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:25:25 PM   
daintydimples


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This may come as a shock, naughty, but not all BBW are insecure. Just saying.

Oh gesh, this kinda throws your premise out of the water. Sorry (okay, not so much).


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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:29:28 PM   
naughtynick81


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Not ALL BBW's may play it that way but a large amount do. Then there are the women on a general basis who would think men only portray them as a once off fuck instead of someone special. The same severity of insecurity in reverse...well

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:46:48 PM   
Termyn8or


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"but not all BBW are insecure"

You must know my si(ni)ister.

T

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:50:49 PM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

"but not all BBW are insecure"

You must know my si(ni)ister.

T


You should do a reality check on sites some time

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 9:51:17 PM   
sunshinemiss


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Doesn't it feel odd how women are perfectly accepted or sympathised when they are insecure. Such as being a BBW etc. "You have to accept that I'm a BBW" or else these men who don’t are awful.

Yet, if a man is insecure about his stance as a man for ANYTHING, he is likely to be belittled/told to man up, and basically all the blame is on him with shame.

Why the double standard?

Not that I have anything against BBW's but the insecure factor is a prime example


You want to back that up?   Perhaps you've never heard the phrase, "put on your big girl panties and deal"?  and you've never heard all the things people blame on women? 

This is one of those arguments that is so vague as to have no merit or validity. 

best,
sunshine

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:00:07 PM   
naughtynick81


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sunshinemiss

Backing it up will mean linking profiles. This will get me in trouble and banned. I am sorry if you are not aware of the obvious trend. Looking at these types of profiles says it all.

ALL profiles? No, but it's not hard at all to find.



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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:07:13 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I guess you must spend a lot of time looking, nick.

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:10:28 PM   
sunshinemiss


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I appreciate when people let me know right up front that something about them will not gel with me.  I figure it's a gift from that person.  Yay!  no wasting of my time.  I guess that is the difference between our perspectives.

*hijack:  hello Hibalicious, you delicate flower you... always a pleasure to see you!

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:14:15 PM   
naughtynick81


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I wonder why there are beauty consultants for BBWs and not BHMs?

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:23:21 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


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Because Men arent socially degraded and destroyed for being fat.....

Fat men can be funny.... Fat women are told to go throw up whatever they just ate and do what ever it takes to fit a size 0 unrealistic idea of female beauty.


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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:25:28 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Because generally men are considered worthy by the size of their wallet and women by their looks.  This is really not rocket science, man.  Go take a class or go skiing or visit an animal shelter or walk along the beach or start a garden or read a book... and let it go.

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:25:43 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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Hi Naughtynick,

It is perfectly ok for you to feel insecure as a man.

Please take a moment to wrap your strong manly arms about yourself, and just give yourself a big loving hug. Then, tell yourself you are special and wonderful, before devouring your favorite comfort food: chocolate covered chocolate fudge brownie ice cream works best. You should then follow that up with a rowdy night of sports, beer, nutscratching, fingersniffing attaboy arm punching - just to keep things in balance.

Hope this helps.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 9/27/2010 10:28:28 PM >

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:27:47 PM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

Because Men arent socially degraded and destroyed for being fat.....

Fat men can be funny.... Fat women are told to go throw up whatever they just ate and do what ever it takes to fit a size 0 unrealistic idea of female beauty.


So this explains it? ROFL

Even that there are countless BBW sites, contest, and large amount of appreciation that fat men don't get?

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:35:33 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81


So this explains it? ROFL

Even that there are countless BBW sites, contest, and large amount of appreciation that fat men don't get?



Nick your all about what men dont get that women do...

Heres a news flash... MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.... in more ways then just GENITALIA. Socially acceptable situations are different, Im a whore if I want to be with more then one guy, Im a slut if I sleep with someone on a first day, and Im fat if i weigh over 140 pounds no matter HOW tall i am.

Get over it we are different,


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 10:44:02 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Doesn't it feel odd how women are perfectly accepted or sympathised when they are insecure. Such as being a BBW etc. "You have to accept that I'm a BBW" or else these men who don’t are awful.

Yet, if a man is insecure about his stance as a man for ANYTHING, he is likely to be belittled/told to man up, and basically all the blame is on him with shame.

Why the double standard?

Not that I have anything against BBW's but the insecure factor is a prime example


Odd.  I keep thinking that there are huge industries built around making women buy stuff for their insecurities. Makeup, nails, hair, clothing... In other words, women's insecurities are sold to.

For some odd reason  men aren't as susceptible.  (If you ignore the Cialis spam I get.)


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 11:00:47 PM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

Odd.  I keep thinking that there are huge industries built around making women buy stuff for their insecurities. Makeup, nails, hair, clothing


I wonder who makes these, puts these on, pushes to advertise these? Women?



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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 11:03:40 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


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Actually its men Nick..... Most of the scientists and advertisers are men.... pushing this load of shit on women....... who have to buy it to be pretty.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/27/2010 11:20:38 PM   
naughtynick81


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Are you sure?

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RE: Double Standards...Insecurity - 9/28/2010 12:40:40 AM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

Makeup, nails, hair, clothing... In other words, women's insecurities are sold to.

quote:

pushing this load of shit on women....... who have to buy it to be pretty.

Then there are those of us who don't buy it  
I don't wear makeup unless I'm going out or taking new pics, and even then, it's usually not much; wouldn't waste my money having my nails done (they would be ruined about 10 minutes after I got to work); never have my hair cut beyond a trim and color it myself when I get bored; and go around in shorts, t-shirt and sneaks unless I'm going somewhere nicer than work or the grocery. Even so, I'm pretty to the kind of man I seek, so it's all good
quote:

Doesn't it feel odd how women are perfectly accepted or sympathised when they are insecure. Such as being a BBW etc. "You have to accept that I'm a BBW" or else these men who don’t are awful.

I suspect that it only feels odd to those who choose to make endless 'victim' posts, blaming their lack of success on others and posting assumptions about what it is like on the other side of the fence without the knowledge to back them up. As for being a BBW, I probably qualify but don't care for the acronym. I also couldn't care less about the men who don't find me attractive; I simply think 'incompatible' and move on. That said, I don't think you have any clue about the drive by insults and nastiness that most women here are subjected to in cmail, or you wouldn't be posting about how we are 'perfectly accepted'. A man who says he isn't into BBWs or says 'thanks but no thanks' isn't awful, but one who feels the need to message a female out of the blue and/or call her names for no reason at all is just that... awful. Pretty simple.
quote:

Yet, if a man is insecure about his stance as a man for ANYTHING, he is likely to be belittled/told to man up, and basically all the blame is on him with shame.

Depends on how that insecurity is expressed. If he's bitching, whining, and blaming others, that's exactly what he will hear (same goes for females, BTW). On the other hand, countless males have asked polite questions on how to improve their profile, skills, how to handle a situation, etc, and have been given great advice in reply. Others have posted about intensely personal situations and received tons of concern and support. IME, the wording, combined with the OP's posting history, usually determines how a thread will go.
quote:

Why the double standard?

Have you seriously never experienced a proper 'fat' thread before?? I suggest that you do a search, as I can assure you that there is no universal acceptance of BBWs. You might also want to check out the political forums, to see just how much the men on this site kowtow to the women when discussing real life issues *laughs my ass off*
quote:

Not that I have anything against BBW's but the insecure factor is a prime example

As has been pointed out, not all women above a size 0,6,8, whatever are insecure.




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