RE: What is cuckold? (Full Version)

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KneelB4You -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 5:45:35 PM)

I'm not sure if this was covered above, but as someone who has thought about this subject fondly for nearly two decades, I wanted to point out a potential "third way".

[The first being the one that seems most prevalently written about on the net, wherein the wife/female partner is more or less passive-aggressively egged (goaded?) into taking other lovers, for the sole satisfaction of her cuckold's fetishistic desires. Which strikes me as a kind of an extreme "topping from below". Some wives/partners might be indulging in a little whore/toy fantasy fulfillment of their own, but I think ultimately she ends up resentful that she was manipulated by her partner.

The second (mentioned above) being kind of the reverse, wherein the vamp-lady (to invoke a stereo-archetype) occasionally takes on a "toy" for the evening. He could be strong and aggressive or young, naive and impressionable, but at the bottom line he is basically an object for her that evening, which is discarded and forgotten.]

Without passing judgment (though perhaps one might read some between between those lines!), the way I imagine it most fulfilling would be something akin to the following. Mistress and slave are in a committed relationship. He is precious to her and vice versa. But she has the prerogative to take other lovers whenever she feels like it. However, she typically doesn't take a random attractive boytoy off the shelf of her nearest bar or club, as this is not as fulfilling for her and also can end up leaving the "mark" feeling used (though if he's an obvious player, that may be understood from the get-go in which case everyone is fine). That wouldn't feel like good karma. Rather, in this scenario, she decides to spend the night with (or invites over, making slave sleep in the guest room) some "friend with benefits" who knows and enjoys the score. Alternatively, if she has switch tendencies she may have struck up a relationship with a Dom friend. And when she gets that itch, if her friend is in the mood as well, she might have her slave deliver her (in some sexy submissive outfit perhaps) into his hands for the evening. Or a weekend on occasion. But she always comes home to her cuckold. He may find the red lines across her backside humiliating - his domme subbing to someone else - but at least she is home.

In any case, I agree with the comment(s) above that often this can start out as, or devolve into, a fetishistic obsession on the cuckold's part. In that event he is no longer having a relationship with *her* but rather his idealized fetish. I think both parties have to remain conscious of keeping the relationship first, with this the added "spice".

Disclaimer: I've never done it. Everything you've just read may be false. :)



Proprietrix -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 5:53:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelB4You
this can start out as, or devolve into, a fetishistic obsession on the cuckold's part. In that event he is no longer having a relationship with *her* but rather his idealized fetish. I think both parties have to remain conscious of keeping the relationship first, with this the added "spice".

Insightful!



Cuck123 -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 6:38:18 PM)

First, i would like to give my respect to each Mistress Who has posted in this thread.

Next, i would like to add my view on cuckolding.

The traditional definition of a cuckold is simply a man who's wife is unfaithful.  If reading Shakespeare, for example, that's all it means.

Today's meaning has evolved from that definition, however.  Specifically, the difference is that
1) the woman's extra-relational sexual activity takes place with the knowledge of the man, and
2) the man is expected to remain faithful (if this were not the case, it would be a swinger situation).

From that simple definition sprouts many permutations and degrees of cuckolding.  What i'd like to focus on here (this being a BDSM board) is cuckolding in the D/s sense.  Again, i'd like to boil it down to what i believe should be a simple definition.

In a D/s cuckold relationship, the Domme has the unconditional right to engage in extra-relational sexual activity, while the cuckold remains devoted and faithful to Her.  She always decides the specifics.
 
The specific activities involved, the cuck's absence or presence, and any degree of involvement, are at the complete discretion of the Mistress.  It is about Her right to the freedom She deserves, never about what will excite Her cuck.  If many of T/their specific interests coincide, fabulous.  However, if he has all sorts of fetishes involving being cuckolded (watching, cleanup, etc.) but Her only wish is to have sex with Her bull elsewhere, not invlove Her cuck, and come home as if it never happened, She has that absolute right and he needs to accept it.  If She is the one desiring fluffing of Her bull, cleanup, or whatever, and the cuck finds it horrifying, he has to understand what he needs is to become better trained.  It is about HER, not him, always. 

What is in it for the D/s cuckold?  What is his reward?  In his love for his Mistress, he has made the commitment that Her pleasure and happiness is where he derives his happiness.  For him, that is more than enough!




MsMacComb -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:02:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

if you're refering to the "hot wife" scenario.. it's cuckolding none the less.. however like i said before.. more often than not it's the wife being encouraged by the male to take lovers.

MsMacComb

quote:

An empowered and dominant female may prefer to be "used" by multiple males, in a variety of ways.Thats her choice and if its her call it doesnt lessen her or her role in bed or in life.


i dont see where i implied that she can't. i said:

quote:

in a hot wife scenario like you described.. oftentimes it's the husband/cuck that wants to see his wife get fucked by bulls.


oftentimes implies that more often than not from the cuckolding relationships where the female has other lovers.. usually from my experience it's the husband initiating it. it's like a swinging couple with a twist. but it's still cuckolding. a woman becomes a pawn when she's doing it for the cuckold's enjoyment.. and instead of her own.
 
 I am curious why if a female is enjoying her cuckoldress status and all the perks that go with it why its important to you whom intitiated it? If someone suggests going out to dinner and both people have a lovely meal, its mutual enjoyment. Who's idea it was to go out, who picked that particular restaurant is irrelevant right? I mean both parties had a lovely evening, what difference does it make who suggested it or who suggested cuckolding? If a girl was raised in a strict, religious, repressed environment, upon becoming an adult she may never have even known that such a thing existed much less that its not only tolerated but encouraged by some men. We all learn something from someone else. Sometimes is from another lady, sometimes its from a man. Either way, once she knows of it, embraces it, enjoys and initiates it regardless of ig its cuckolding, hotwifing, wife watching etc its still her that calls the shots.







Proprietrix -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:05:28 PM)

Thank you for your perspective. It's always ALWAYS nice to learn more about the male submissive mind.
(And you worded yourself very well.)



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:07:06 PM)

KneelB4You:

I like everything you said. when i have a cuckolding relationship it works typically like this. sexually i am submissive. i don't take the dominant role in sex whatsoever. i don't get a sexual arousal out of having slaves- i am pleased sadistically when i'm with a slave. it's arousing, but it is more cerebrally than in the sense like.. oh god i'm wet.

when it comes to sex i'm not dominant, that's where my masochistic side lies. so like.. when i'm with a man he HAS to physically and mentally be more dominant and more aggressive than i am. if i happen to have a cuckold at the moment, then i opt to take lovers whom are Bull males- because they know the score. so it's much like what you said in the little fantasy treatise. i have had slaves in the past have a hard time knowing that sexually i bottom, not a respect thing- they just have a hard time knowing that i engage in a lot of edge play so they're more freaked out that i'll get hurt.

i've noticed my cuckolds don't mind the fact that i'm sexually submissive. they enjoy knowing that I control them, my Bull controls them.. and they are totally in their beta position sexually. they don't mind seeing me get totally ravaged or choked, or slapped, or bitten, or stuffed into a vacbed, or a sleep sack. rubber cuckolding games are a little different. typically my cuckold is rubber hooded to give him even less presence in the bedroom. at that moment he's a faceless little fluffing bitch scampering around to do his job. they don't mind my dominant lovers.

whenever i have a dominant lover that isn't into my cucks being there or fluffing.. either i'll call them on the phone while we're fucking or i'll let him hide in the closet :: sssh don't tell anyone :: how sneaky of me i know.. but oh well. it's just a slave in a closet.. no big deal.

either way my slaves are denied me. they can watch very closely what they want most but have the absolutely LEAST chance of ever having.. then when the rough fucking is done and all of the rubber is off.. i can snuggle up with my cuck.. or send him to wash rubber while i cuddle with my bull. they know they have a place, bulls come and go.. but cuckolds are usually soooooo faithful.

OnyxGoddess
quote:

although i have one question:  i've seen some cuckold sites where there is some SERIOUS hardcore bdsm involvment and the woman claim these men are thier husbands.  Doesn't it kind of negate the "caring loving" aspect of the normal relationship or cause murky situations?


i look at it like this.. but bear in mind. i'm coming from a Bondage & Discipline, Sado/Masochist view of things. so it's going to come off a bit harsher than if i subscribed to the Dominance and Submission side of things.. don't get me wrong.. D/s is part of my training.. but it's not the whole scope of how i interact with slaves.

the more i love someone the more i can hurt them. the more i enjoy seeing them squirm or cry or bleed. i can't hurt people i don't care for or know.  i'd never be able to go full pro because i know i'd probably be tapdancing on people's limits. at least with my personal slaves i know how far i can go.

my cuckold is still one of my slaves and may have alternate duties. like rubber doll, full toilet, or rubber gimp. but as a cuckold they hold the highest position among all of my slaves, they have the privilege of seeing their Goddess in all her raw primal fuck glory and they get to see the one woman they want so much, but could NEVER have and hold in the highest esteem- get nailed by some nice cocked, strong, muscular, german or scandinavian blonde GOD (hehe my personal favourite type).. but they know i still care.. and love them.. even as i'm calling the Bull daddy and he's choking the shit outta me. i still love my cuckold even when i'm trampling his cock, pissing in his mouth, making him eat dog food or shit in a diaper at the mall.

i know this sounds bizarre..lol but i couldn't do that shit to someone if i didn't care. if they couldn't trust me.. and if they didn't trust that above all else i totally respect them as a partner, a person... and i respect the level of control they give up so i can have my freedom.. all jealousy aside..

so yes, you can still have a loving and caring relationship and still beat the fuck outta someone. i do it all the time.

wouldn't have it any other way

Cuck123:

nice post



PassionateNights -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:10:39 PM)

I'm thrilled to see that there has been a great deal of expansion of the definition of "cuckold". I myself come at it from this point of view. I want my Mistress to have all the pleasure she desires. That means with another lover OR not, frankly it's not my choice..imho. I just want her to have all of her needs met, fantasies fullfilled, etc. Just as if i really could care less if i reach orgasm as long as she does.

If it makes her happy,smile,purr or satisfies her in any way i'm there. As for the comment about fluffing, i have done that as well as part of the role of cuck. I also think that just as many men enjoy the thought of watching two women, many women are finding they like the idea of watching two men together for their erotic enjoyment.....again...it makes her happy....then it makes me happy to do it. Now don;t go thinking this is selfless, i derive incredible satisfaction and pride in knowing she's happy, pleased and that i;ve done a good job.

finally I am an Alpha male.....in to the rest of the world, powerful, aggressive, a natural leader..it's just with her that I am different




MsMacComb -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:16:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PassionateNights
finally I am an Alpha male.....in to the rest of the world, powerful, aggressive, a natural leader..it's just with her that I am different
 

That seems to often be the case. There is so much myth about cuckolding permeated mostly by middle aged white guys that may have serious issues. All cucks are depicted as little wimps with 2 inch penis's, short, timid, passive etc and black males are depicted in one way only. There are millions of variations within cuckolding, S/M as there are in people.



Cuck123 -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:30:17 PM)

Very true.  i have to laugh at some of the stories depicting cucks as losers.  In my vanilla world i am well respected by the 100+ people who report to me, and feared by some of them.  One beauty of submission and cuckolding is the privilege of allowing another side of me to be expressed, a side the business world is not permitted to see.

Actually, i dont like the whole cuckold wimp concept... submitting isnt being a wimp.  It is giving up power rather than being without it in the first place.



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:30:35 PM)

MsMacComb

quote:

I am curious why if a female is enjoying her cuckoldress status and all the perks that go with it why its important to you whom intitiated it?
 

if someone is doing something like cuckolding because her husband wants her to.. that's like forced sex slavery damn near. i know a lot of *hot wives* that entertain that notion just because they don't want to lose their husbands.. or men i know whom have forced their wives to do it because it's their fantasy and rather than divorce they do it.

quote:

Either way, once she knows of it, embraces it, enjoys and initiates it regardless of ig its cuckolding, hotwifing, wife watching etc its still her that calls the shots.


sorry, not always.. in a realistic world perhaps..a lot of women are NOT the ones calling the shots. most women in Mistress/sub are.. most in the vanilla sort of domineering woman roles are.. SOME hotwives are.. but it goes back to the fact that for the part men have cuckolding fantasies and they introduce them to their wives..either their wives are receptive or their wives aren't, but will oblige to appease him.

i know a woman right now that agreed in the beginning and now she's afraid to stop because her husband is gonna kick bricks if she does. how empowering is that? who is calling the shots there?   i'm MERELY speaking about the women whom may have tried to be into this .. be it after a a period of time.. be it after several decades.. or maybe right from the start but then after time they dont feel happy.. they feel USED.

no shot calling there.

they arent happy.. how is that empowerment?

i'm not speaking about women that were introduced to that scene and enjoy it.. believe me.. it's another world when it's the husband's fantasy but not the wives. i've met too many cuckolds that will approach me with a laundry list of types they like to see you fuck, sizes, races, times per week.. how many different lovers..

that's explotation and pandering with vows and a ring to make it societally acceptable. it's not the woman controlling the situation. i have NO problem how people meet, hook up or how they get introduced to whatever they're into.

but i responding to another post where she said

Proprietrix
quote:


I really felt, as the cuckoldress, that I was being used. I felt used by the bulls to get their rocks off. And I felt used by the cuck as a mechanism of their living vicariously through me and the bulls. It didn't make me feel treasured and precious and cared for.


that's the sentiment i had in mind when i said if a woman isn't doing it for HER enjoyment.. then yes she IS going to feel used.. shit.. how can you not? without some sort of enjoyment on the woman's part.. a cuckoldress is basically a living fucking porno movie for some asswipe perv. the connection and interaction and understanding have to be there on everyone's part.

obviously she had an experienced a cuckolding relationship where she didn't feel completed rather used (her own words). i have never felt that way. THATS what i mean when i say some cucks will approach me trying to use me as a vehicle to get off. all i'm saying is that type of a scenario is common in hotwives. not saying that was the case with Proprietrix or that she is a hotwife because i dont know the situation,..

but after a few years thats the sort of feeling that i'd say 70% of the hotwives i know.. or cucks with hotwives (but not really mistresses) tell me. you cant say women ALWAYS have the power or call the shots or pull the strings. not when your husband is out prowling for dates for you to feed your fetish and you're fucking men you don't want.

THAT'S the difference between hotwives typically (and don't get me wrong.. as i've said before. there are some hotwives that cuck their husband.. ).. but that's the difference.

if the CUCKOLDRESS is the one initiating, rather than the one being told.. ok you will sleep with other men.. then she usually doesn't have this problem. but many hotwives *never* like it.. and *never* get used to it.

if the Domme or Wife is telling him.. ok THIS is how it's gonna be (rather than the male or slave saying.. this is what i'd like you to do )..odds are it will be on her terms.

OnyxGoddess  is proof that someone can initiate it.. but i bet you anything it's on her terms

but not always the case








MistressLorelei -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:33:03 PM)

When you take the basic definition of cuckold as being a male having an unfaithful partner/wife.. I don't think there are right or wrong ways to cuckold someone.... If the cuckoldress is happy, the cuckold remains loyal and the relationship is thriving... shouldn't that be the measure of how a cuckold relationship should exist?






EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 7:33:35 PM)

quote:

finally I am an Alpha male.....in to the rest of the world, powerful, aggressive, a natural leader..it's just with her that I am different


that's the way it should be. i don't accept males that the rest of the world view as weak. what is their submission worth if they give it freely to anyone they meet? all of my slaves are type As in their personality and careers, but they kneel for me..



Lordandmaster -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 8:11:25 PM)

For the most part, I agree: "cuckolding" is so broad that there are (and must be) many different ways of practicing it, and as long as everyone's happy, that's fine and dandy.

But I can't tell you how many "proto-cuckolds" IM me and e-mail me trying to get me to fuck their wives.  Sending me pictures, telling me what she's "into," all that shit.  And whenever I inquire further, it almost always turns out that it's just their tawdry fantasy; the wife wants none of it.  Every once in a while the wife is willing to participate, but only grudgingly.  When it's something that a fetish-driven husband is laying on his reluctant wife, it's obviously a lot less enjoyable for everyone else.  I think that's what people mean by posers and pretenders.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

When you take the basic definition of cuckold as being a male having an unfaithful partner/wife.. I don't think there are right or wrong ways to cuckold someone.... If the cuckoldress is happy, the cuckold remains loyal and the relationship is thriving... shouldn't that be the measure of how a cuckold relationship should exist?



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 8:15:05 PM)

quote:

For the most part, I agree: "cuckolding" is so broad that there are (and must be) many different ways of practicing it, and as long as everyone's happy, that's fine and dandy.

But I can't tell you how many "proto-cuckolds" IM me and e-mail me trying to get me to fuck their wives. Sending me pictures, telling me what she's "into," all that shit. And whenever I inquire further, it almost always turns out that it's just their tawdry fantasy; the wife wants none of it. Every once in a while the wife is willing to participate, but only grudgingly. When it's something that a fetish-driven husband is laying on his reluctant wife, it's obviously a lot less enjoyable for everyone else. I think that's what people mean by posers and pretenders.


so you see the things i experience but on the male Dome end of the stick

you see how most of this shit is the guys' fantasy. tell me, how many dominant women  or wives approach you because they want you to assist them in cuckolding their husband? all these fake cucks make it harder for real cuckoldresses to find sincere Bulls because the Dom males are all tweaked out by the fantasizing cucks.. or the ones that force/coerce their wives into it



MistressLorelei -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/24/2006 9:15:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

For the most part, I agree: "cuckolding" is so broad that there are (and must be) many different ways of practicing it, and as long as everyone's happy, that's fine and dandy.

But I can't tell you how many "proto-cuckolds" IM me and e-mail me trying to get me to fuck their wives.  Sending me pictures, telling me what she's "into," all that shit.  And whenever I inquire further, it almost always turns out that it's just their tawdry fantasy; the wife wants none of it.  Every once in a while the wife is willing to participate, but only grudgingly.  When it's something that a fetish-driven husband is laying on his reluctant wife, it's obviously a lot less enjoyable for everyone else.  I think that's what people mean by posers and pretenders.



Sure, there are lots of subs with a 'do my wife' fetish  and that is not be the kind of cuckold I would desire.  I think the submissive should be made into a cuckold (if so desired by his Domme), rather than starting with a sub whose only desire is to be a cuckold.  If I have a desire for a third party... Contact would not need to be initiated by My submissive. 



MsMacComb -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/25/2006 12:08:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess
if someone is doing something like cuckolding because her husband wants her to.. that's like forced sex slavery damn near. i know a lot of *hot wives* that entertain that notion just because they don't want to lose their husbands.. or men i know whom have forced their wives to do it because it's their fantasy and rather than divorce they do it.

sorry, not always.. in a realistic world perhaps..a lot of women are NOT the ones calling the shots. most women in Mistress/sub are.. most in the vanilla sort of domineering woman roles are.. SOME hotwives are.. but it goes back to the fact that for the part men have cuckolding fantasies and they introduce them to their wives..either their wives are receptive or their wives aren't, but will oblige to appease him.
i know a woman right now that agreed in the beginning and now she's afraid to stop because her husband is gonna kick bricks if she does. how empowering is that? who is calling the shots there?   i'm MERELY speaking about the women whom may have tried to be into this .. be it after a a period of time.. be it after several decades.. or maybe right from the start but then after time they dont feel happy.. they feel USED.
 

I guess we are talking about somewhat different situations. What you described IS sad and would be very wrong. What I was referring to was empowered women who would NOT put up with any of that macho-pushy-husband bullshit. Perhaps its just the circle of friends and acquaintances that I associate with but none of them (or I) would ever tolerate that. That has nothing to do with consent or cuckolding but sounds more like an overbearing asshole husband whom she should dump in one second flat. :)



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/25/2006 1:51:15 AM)

quote:

I guess we are talking about somewhat different situations. What you described IS sad and would be very wrong. What I was referring to was empowered women who would NOT put up with any of that macho-pushy-husband bullshit. Perhaps its just the circle of friends and acquaintances that I associate with but none of them (or I) would ever tolerate that. That has nothing to do with consent or cuckolding but sounds more like an overbearing asshole husband whom she should dump in one second flat. :)


amen..but i see both.. i have friends like me that enjoy their experiences.. i know male subs that want this from their wife.. and i know women that do it for their hubbies.

that's what i say all women aren't calling the strings.. in most hotwife scenarios.. BUT not all.. yeah.. the dude is pullin the strings..

lol introduce me into your non drama cuckolding couples.. hehe

most of what i hear are from cucks that wish their wife would do it.. either they do persist.. and their wives hate it.. or they do it and they love it.. or they do it and their wives hate it in a short span of time



NINASHARP -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/25/2006 3:52:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuck123

First, i would like to give my respect to each Mistress Who has posted in this thread.

Next, i would like to add my view on cuckolding.

The traditional definition of a cuckold is simply a man who's wife is unfaithful.  If reading Shakespeare, for example, that's all it means.


Yeah that is what I got when I looked up the word.  Which I really didn't see how that related in s/m.  This topic has been quite an eye opener.

Thanks to all.



Oumae -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/25/2006 5:23:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuck123


Actually, i dont like the whole cuckold wimp concept... submitting isnt being a wimp.  It is giving up power rather than being without it in the first place.


Nicely put.

Oumae



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: What is cuckold? (4/25/2006 9:34:45 AM)

Cuck123

quote:

Actually, i dont like the whole cuckold wimp concept... submitting isnt being a wimp. It is giving up power rather than being without it in the first place.


you can't give up something you don't have. i don't go for the *sniveling worm* type male.



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