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Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 1:55:34 PM

Voodali

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Now I know that you're not all here looking for partners, but for those who are, and have been for quite some time, or to those who once were in the position of seeking, and have found, which philosophy do you live by, and why:

1. You have to keep on kissing more frogs until one turns into the prince/princess/shoe-licking gimp of your dreams. (The logical approach ?)

or

2. Only when you truly let go of your desire for a partner will a good one appear. (The spiritual approach ?)

Post #: 1

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:03:15 PM

LadyRian

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My former love/sub turned out to be a cane toad in disguise. I'm grateful to have survived the experience.

Even though I haven't been here very long, I'm one who believes that I will most likely have to kiss quite a few frogs in order to find one I'd like to share the lily pad with.

I've always been the logical sort.

< Message edited by LadyRian -- 10/1/2010 2:04:40 PM >

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:07:50 PM

leadership527

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Neither of the above. I personally prefer to experience my life as it happens. Some of that life involves people brushing up against me. Some of those people I like. I'm more interested in seeing what I have than finding something I don't have.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:08:01 PM

kiwisub12

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I went out and found some very nice men and i kissed t hem(i won't call them toads - because they weren't) before i met my Sir. He was the one who did it for me , and the others had to go. If i waited for one to fall in my lap, i'd be still waiting..............

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Post #: 4

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:22:10 PM

lovingpet

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A little from column a and and little from column b for me. I found that most good things in life find us when we are least suspecting them. I have also found that if you never take a chance, you nearly always miss out on those good things when they do present themselves. Persistence and patience go hand in hand. It is when we try to turn persistence into insistence and patience into perfection that we will come away from life empty handed and disappointed. I don't need Mr. Perfect. I need Mr. RFMEWAHF (right for me even with all his flaws

). I have also found that the most homely frog can sometimes be a far better companion than a lethal prince. It really depends on what you want, expect, and believe is possible.

lovingpet

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:23:17 PM

thatsub

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Your logical approach seems to be an active search and your spiritual looks like a passive one. It's nice to think that Mr or Ms Perfect will come to you all by themselves, but sometimes you got to realize that fairy tales are just tales and take life reins into your own hands.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 2:28:43 PM

MistressRosalyn

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Personally, I find that listening to the voices inside my head tends to put me in the right place at the right time.

But I agree with lovingpet, if you stay at home, you will never be able to meet Mr Right, so you have to put yourself out there a bit and at least be WILLING to kiss some frogs.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 3:43:23 PM

DomImus

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I don't think either of those approaches consistently bears more edible fruit than the other. I've kissed just as many frogs who just happened across my path and I have hit the jackpot more than once in bars where most people think all the frogs reside.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 4:15:45 PM

littlewonder

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I did both when I was single.

I let go of searching. I let go of expectations but yet I didn't pass up opportunities to put myself out there amongst the single crowd and I gave others a chance and went out on dates.

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Post #: 9

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 5:00:23 PM

DarkSteven

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I have enjoyed kissing the frogs!

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 5:03:32 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

1. You have to keep on kissing more frogs until one turns into the prince/princess/shoe-licking gimp of your dreams. (The logical approach ?)

or

2. Only when you truly let go of your desire for a partner will a good one appear. (The spiritual approach ?)

Greetings Voodali,

My philosophy is a little different from the viewpoints you've expressed. It's my belief that some measure of practicality, hopeful anticipation, and patience is necessary. Where things often go astray is the definitions we've associated towards what is best versus what we can reasonably find happiness with instead. Desire in itself for a companion isn't bad. It's the attachment to a preconceived outcome that creates a negative state. Wherein happiness looks like a,b,c with little room for anything that falls outside the parameters mentioned. Oftentimes what is best arrives in a guise we'd rarely expect or readily receive. I would describe my approach as holistic with a definite emphasis on synergy.

I don't look for similarities, but rather seek to discover how the differences (especially those I find challenging) may be an appropriate complement for my person. I don't think this requires one to kiss a barrage of frogs or sit idly by waiting for tomorrow to fall into ones lap. However, it is my sincerest belief that we manifest our desires when we're actively engaged in bringing them into fruition. While I may seek to attract someone I must be worthy of the man I wish to walk beside. The two go hand in hand and it's that coalescent union that I find most appealing. As such, the outcome is largely dependent on my ability to radiate the love I want to call my own.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 5:17:04 PM

BentUnit

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I'm done and finished with kissing toads and chasing princesses.

I'd rather be in my own company (in RL and on-line) rather than settle for second best just to say I have someone.

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Post #: 12

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 5:39:29 PM

Voodali

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Interesting responses.

I'm aware that there are more than just these two options, but I chose them because they are, in a sense, opposite approaches, and because when I have asked people how they found their perfect match, they usually present me with how they used one of those approaches. There are those who wrote out detailed lists of wants and needs, performed rituals releasing these qualities into the Universe and received their ideal partners shortly thereafter. Maybe these folks needed clarification in their own minds. (One of them was using Santeria, so that may have influenced things, though his gorgeous dream boy turned out to be a little psycho later on.)

Then there are those who knew what they wanted, tried and waited and hoped for so long that they finally just said "fuck it", and began living only for themselves, and then, when they least expected it, the partner appeared. In this case, it looks like the Law of Attraction was being hindered by the negative energy of their intense wanting.

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all recipe, and for me, the jury is still out as to whether fate, God, karma or the Law of Attraction have anything to do with it.

I think in my case, because of the arid climate, frogs are kind of rare, and I need to focus more on snakes. Anyway, its hard to catch a frog long enough to kiss it unless you first confuse it with a flashlight.

< Message edited by Voodali -- 10/1/2010 5:46:48 PM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 5:41:06 PM

Voodali

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Joined: 10/2/2007
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Maybe I'll try the "be the person you want to attract" approach next, and cut my hair, wear assless chaps and a body harness, grow a pair, and go behave chivalrously and subserviently to some lady at a bar. At the frog bar.

< Message edited by Voodali -- 10/1/2010 5:44:57 PM >

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Post #: 14

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:08:03 PM

BoredAsHell

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i'm not looking for anyone. i wasn't looking for anyone when the last person i was with came into my life. i'm going to roll with whatever happens and let nature take its course. i'm just living for myself and my kids, anyone who comes into my life will just have to accept things as they are.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:11:21 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

Now I know that you're not all here looking for partners, but for those who are, and have been for quite some time, or to those who once were in the position of seeking, and have found, which philosophy do you live by, and why:

1. You have to keep on kissing more frogs until one turns into the prince/princess/shoe-licking gimp of your dreams. (The logical approach ?)

or

2. Only when you truly let go of your desire for a partner will a good one appear. (The spiritual approach ?)

A little from section a and a little from section b> I look for people I believe will be compatible and who have similar interests before I worry about whether or not they are the sub/slave for me

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:11:22 PM

RedMagic1

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Don't seek a life partner. Seek friends. Make solid, take-to-the-bank friends who happen to be of the opposite sex. Just as superficial people often have superficial "friends," honest and genuine people tend to be close to others who are honest and genuine. Expand your social circle, and then get your pals to set you up.

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Post #: 17

RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:34:05 PM

StrongSpirit

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I have a third plan.

Stop looking for a prince/princess and start looking for a man/woman.

People focus on crappy things like height, breast size, etc. As long as people focus on the shallow things, they keep kissing toads with crowns on their heads instead of the good people next to the toads. Then they complain about kissing toads and expect sympathy.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:56:13 PM

subforherMaster

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Ditto of littlewonder.

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RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? - 10/1/2010 6:58:54 PM

Icarys

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

I have a third plan.

Stop looking for a prince/princess and start looking for a man/woman.

People focus on crappy things like height, breast size, etc. As long as people focus on the shallow things, they keep kissing toads with crowns on their heads instead of the good people next to the toads. Then they complain about kissing toads and expect sympathy.

Truth.

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