Now that I've caught the Buick....

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Now that I've caught the Buick....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Now that I've caught the Buick....

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 1:01:44 AM

Beatmehrdr

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I now can sympathize with the dog that finally caught the car he was chasing, and now doesn't know what to do with it(yes Josh, it does happen). I've met a dominant Woman here via CM, and we've corresponded, and I'm meeting her this week for dinner. Now, originally, I tried to schedule our date during the week, so that there would be no pressure about what we would do after dinner. If there was no chemistry, or the chemistry was one way only, W/we'd both have to go to work the next day, so there would be an out if things didn't work out. Now that W/we're meeting on a Friday, I'm wondering if I should have another activity planned after dinner or not. On the one hand, I'm trying to make a good first impression, and if she wants to see how good I am at entertaining, I want to be ready. On the other hand, I don't want to create a situation where she feels under pressure, especially if she only wanted dinner. Any ideas?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 1:22:00 AM

MsMacComb

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

If it was me I would prefer a quiet meal in a place with great ambiance where I could talk in a comfortable manner with my new "friend". Somewhere with no kids, a bit of privacy between tables, soft "white noise" music and just a relaxed evening.
You may consider checking into a couple of entertaining events ( movie, concert, gallery opening, dancing etc, locations, scheduales etc) and just casually mention those as options if dinner goes well and you both feel energetic enough to go out. Be prepared with alternatives should she desire but don't plan anything for sure. She agreed to dinner and I assume nothing else was discussed. Don't make her feel pressured but do let her know that you thought enough of her and the date to have checked into a few things. Good luck.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 1:28:59 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Isn't SHE the domme? She'll do what she wants to do.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 5:30:44 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

Isn't SHE the domme? She'll do what she wants to do.

Only with his consent will she be able to do what she wants to do. Just because she is the Domina does not mean that she can automatically "do what she wants to do", in my opinion. This is a first meeting, it should be decided and agreed upon by both parties.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 5:42:46 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I doubt she would have a problem with frank honesty. If you simply ask her, she'll probably respond.
"Should I make any plans with my friends for after dinner or should I make myself available for you for the entire evening? I'm kind of new at this, so I don't mean any offense."
I can't see why she'd be upset about a statement like that.
Have fun and good luck!

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 10:14:13 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

"Should I make any plans with my friends for after dinner or should I make myself available for you for the entire evening? I'm kind of new at this, so I don't mean any offense."

Excellent! I always make it quite clear, at the time of the arrangement to meet, that dinner is dinner. It's a chance to talk and spend time in each other's company with no pressure.
If this Domina has lead you to believe there might be something more, then Proprietrix's suggestion would certainly open the gates for further conversation and clarification. Or perhaps you both want to extend the evening in which case you should have a couple of vanilla back up plans as suggested by MsMacComb.
Have fun, be your respectful and gentlemanly self, practice your smile and your engaging conversation, and good luck!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/25/2006 10:36:17 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Thanks for the explanation. (I wasn't aware that his consent was required; but now I am enlightened.)

I meant that he doesn't need to worry so much about what she's going to want to do. She'll do what she wants to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Isn't SHE the domme? She'll do what she wants to do.

Only with his consent will she be able to do what she wants to do. Just because she is the Domina does not mean that she can automatically "do what she wants to do", in my opinion. This is a first meeting, it should be decided and agreed upon by both parties.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/28/2006 1:13:58 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Thanks for the explanation. (I wasn't aware that his consent was required; but now I am enlightened.)

I meant that he doesn't need to worry so much about what she's going to want to do. She'll do what she wants to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Isn't SHE the domme? She'll do what she wants to do.

Only with his consent will she be able to do what she wants to do. Just because she is the Domina does not mean that she can automatically "do what she wants to do", in my opinion. This is a first meeting, it should be decided and agreed upon by both parties.

I knew what you meant and you're welcome.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/28/2006 1:30:02 PM

ladiespet77

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

If it were me, i would Not be planning to go out with my freinds afterwards...lol....I mean comon man...even if dinner is All there is to the evening for me that sounds like a Great night out..Meeting a Domme,talking,having dinner,and seeing if You had Some of that chemistry.......Would You want her to Know You had plans afterwards and she was an apatizer to Your Real night out and the main course with You buddies...lol.....i dont know ......Have a backup plan for after dinner in case She does want to go out afterwards...if Not go home....

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/29/2006 4:49:34 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I doubt she would have a problem with frank honesty. If you simply ask her, she'll probably respond.
"Should I make any plans with my friends for after dinner or should I make myself available for you for the entire evening? I'm kind of new at this, so I don't mean any offense."
I can't see why she'd be upset about a statement like that.
Have fun and good luck!

"Frank honesty" as you put it of that sort would have me telling him if he wants to be somewhere else so badly then I'd like to reconsider. I go for the play it by ear if you like one another knowing a jazz club or somewhere else to go that she might enjoy to go even if it's just for coffee is a good idea. But backing her into a corner before meeting you and asking what in my mind amounts to "so exactly how much time should I plan for you?" is grounds for finding yourself with an entire evening to kill by yourself.

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/29/2006 5:28:22 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

For a first meeting, I like to avoid places where my attention is distracted. I don't like clubs, movies, galleries or anything else. I like conversation and communication.. that's why I'm there. I'm happy and content going to a little quiet coffee shop after dinner if I still want to be in someone's company. No fuss, no one to bother us, still public and you don't have to worry about a crappy movie on the big screen where basically, you're still two strangers who just happen to be sitting next to one another.

I would NOT ask her how much time to set aside for her though.. I would automatically set aside the whole evening, expect a few hours for dinner and consider any time after that a perk to getting to spend more time with her. If you find that dinner didn't go so well, you can always bow out afterwards and see your friends next weekend.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Now that I've caught the Buick.... - 4/29/2006 9:28:58 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Hope this isn't too late to help, since you posted 4/25 (wish I'd read this thread sooner).

All I can tell you is what worked for Me. At our initial meeting, bobbi and I met strictly for 'a coke' to see whether we hit it off.

As it turned out, we were both immediately stricken by the 'omg I can't believe I met this INCREDIBLE, ATTRACTIVE person ONLINE for cryin' out loud! incredulous magic carpet ride, a carpet ride that's lasted nearly five years now!

We decided at our 'lunch/coke' date when we would get together next and we discussed a little of the activities that me might enjoy doing together.

Our next meeting was so memorable! The day was idyllic: a picnic in crisp fall weather at a nearby state park, followed by a nice drive and then a tour through a museum not far away.

I still remember every single moment of that day. The choice of where we went and what we would do together were his. He prepared the picnic basket, he chose the Museum, it was a complete and total treat.

Every time we've been together since then has been a total treat.

Don't push it before hand by asking if she wants you available for more than dinner, and don't insult her by making any reference to having other plans with someone else after dinner, for goodness sake!

Go to dinner and enjoy the meal, find out whether you click.

After dinner and some lengthy conversation, simply tell her you did not want to push for anything more involved on this first meeting, but wow now that you met her you wish you had!

Offer the rest of your evening to her, and if she has no suggestion, ask if she'd care to go browse a bookstore or a record store with you to select some small souvenir of your first meeting.

Good luck, beatmehrdr! Kudos for doing your homework, first!

TexasMaam

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

Profile

Post #: 12