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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/25/2006 10:10:39 PM

Varicolored

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/8/2006
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Responding for my mistress, LadyAngel, and I, she and I would not tell anyone that marriage is a bad idea, but, we are in agreement that marriage is a relationship between equals. A slave is not their master's equal. A husband and wife are equal. That being said, the relationship between a master and a slave can be, in some respects, far deeper than the bond between husband and wife.

I would not want to marry Mistress. I am her slave. Her property. I couldn't be her spouse. It's not how either of us sees things. If that is what works for you and yours, however, follow what you need for you.

(in reply to lily84)

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/25/2006 11:25:41 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 1969slave
i was married, but one of the conditions to becoming his slave was that we divorce so i could serve him as a true slave and not as a wife.

Wow, I would think that being married is the perfect position from which you can be his slave, but am sure I don't understand the mindset from which you made your choice.

From my personal perspective, I don't need to be married again when in a committed/long term relationship, but if I were to take on a slave who needed it to feel secure, where I loved him and felt we had long term potential, I might consider it. M

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/26/2006 2:16:53 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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Well, there is a reason that in Spanish the same word for "spouse" is used for
"handcuffs". Or in American Slang the "old ball and chain"!

-Vendaval-

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/26/2006 9:15:31 AM

jezzabelle

Posts: 391
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Southeastern, MA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Varicolored
Responding for my mistress, LadyAngel, and I, she and I would not tell anyone that marriage is a bad idea, but, we are in agreement that marriage is a relationship between equals. A slave is not their master's equal. A husband and wife are equal. That being said, the relationship between a master and a slave can be, in some respects, far deeper than the bond between husband and wife.

A marriage is a relationship between equals if the couple decides to make it that way. If you look at traditional wedding vows, and this is copied from a site that I found that lists many different more traditional wedding vows...."With this Ring I thee wed, with my Body I thee worship, and with all my worldly Goods I thee endow."

The Form of Solemnization of Ceremony includes different vows for the man and woman, with him promising to "love and protect" and her promising to "serve and obey".

As with any relationship, it's the two (or more) people in it that determine how the dynamics are. Whether it's Master/slave, Mistress/slave or husband/wife, it makes no difference.

(in reply to Varicolored)

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/26/2006 10:38:49 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Varicolored

Responding for my mistress, LadyAngel, and I, she and I would not tell anyone that marriage is a bad idea, but, we are in agreement that marriage is a relationship between equals.

For some, this is a fact. But I see marriages (vanilla) every day that indicate otherwise. In spite of our modern attitudes, there is much that goes on in many marriages that make Me wonder if there is a formal D/s or M/s dynamic. I throw the idea out when I see the iron fist extending to the short ones in those same families.
Vows and personal agreements can be suited to whatever the people want. A carefully worded pre-nup can be added to the union.
It is not for Me, but I do not discount the idea of marriage between Master/Mistress/slave if it works for another couple.

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They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/27/2006 6:55:28 AM

lily84

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/18/2004
Status: offline

Hi folks ,ty for all ur nice useful information .
Well, i really love MistressLorelei 's idea about separate wedding .It sounded so sweet ,dear .Perhaps i'd like to try it one day ,who knows ,lol.

Anyway ,guys ,another thing 's if choose to get in marriage life ,it 'll be still my doggy who has to do houseworks as he did normally ,yeah? Hmm.., honestly ,for bdsm lifestyle ,thats his task ,of course ,but for normal life ,i might be a bad wife then ?I think its really hard to do both positions of mine completely. Ohh ,thats my question now ..hm..
Ms L,

(in reply to Vendaval)

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/27/2006 11:26:20 PM

disretion7

Posts: 74
Joined: 3/19/2006
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Dear lily84,

Never a fan of BDSM, my wife used to do it on me in exchange for vanilla sex. As we aged, so did the mutual benefit.

Respectfully,

disretion7

(in reply to OnyxGoddess)

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/28/2006 2:32:52 PM

ratiug

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline

I am in a marrige that has lasted 24 years. From my perspective power is one aspect that is always in play in any relationship whether the partners choose to recognize it or not.

Recognizing it and playing (D/s play) can add significant and incremental intensity, excitement and intimacy to our otherwise Vanilla or even routine relationship. (My wife is learning to dominate me and is becoming profient!

It's like toothpaste that has been squeezed out of the tube.....It is hard to put it back once it is out.

:-)

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/28/2006 7:08:28 PM

StlMistressK

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Ok, heres My two cents worth, and as it is My oppinion... Respect it.

I am a Dom, and I am married... This is fine. I am NOT married to, nor would I ever, marry a slave. Two Doms should marry, two subs, a Dom and someone outside of the lifestyle perhaps... Y/you see where this is going? As I was taught, it is ok for Your slave to love you, it is even ok for You to love Your slave. It is NOT ok for either to be IN LOVE with the other. There are some areas and branches where that may be acceptable, however, I was not raised in one...

Mistress K

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/28/2006 8:26:04 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle
A marriage is a relationship between equals if the couple decides to make it that way. If you look at traditional wedding vows, and this is copied from a site that I found that lists many different more traditional wedding vows...."With this Ring I thee wed, with my Body I thee worship, and with all my worldly Goods I thee endow."

The Form of Solemnization of Ceremony includes different vows for the man and woman, with him promising to "love and protect" and her promising to "serve and obey".

As with any relationship, it's the two (or more) people in it that determine how the dynamics are. Whether it's Master/slave, Mistress/slave or husband/wife, it makes no difference.

I think this is perfect, and I love these vows, which is why I'm looking for a male wife, lol.

M

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/28/2006 8:44:21 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: StlMistressK

Ok, heres My two cents worth, and as it is My oppinion... Respect it.

I am a Dom, and I am married... This is fine. I am NOT married to, nor would I ever, marry a slave. Two Doms should marry, two subs, a Dom and someone outside of the lifestyle perhaps... Y/you see where this is going? As I was taught, it is ok for Your slave to love you, it is even ok for You to love Your slave. It is NOT ok for either to be IN LOVE with the other. There are some areas and branches where that may be acceptable, however, I was not raised in one...

Mistress K

I think these areas and branches are called 'D/s relationships' by others who think it's okay to be in love with their slaves and/or to marry them. If it works for you, wonderful.

Me... I'd be happy to have a submissive who I was in love enough with to want to marry him as well as own him.. If I were to marry a Dom, I am quite certain he wouldn't be too happy reciting vows, kneeling while wearing white lacy panties.

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/29/2006 5:06:20 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave52001

hello
iam a sub from kansas city mo. i cant under stand why a godess would even think of marrige a slave contract is far greater than a marrage contract.

slave52001

In fact, I do use a contract. And I am, personally, not interested in marriage. However, if there is ever a problem, the most I would expect My contract to do is protect Me in court if a whiney slave decided to leave and then take issue with anything. I am not abusive, so that wouldn't come into play at all. But it is amazing what some people can come up with when they think they need to get back at another.
A slave contract is only as good as the slave who signs it.
YMMV

Got bad news for you Dusty if you check in the current events section I think it outlines the 2 recent cases where slave contracts were acutally held up as premeditated abuse. 1 case in a husband/wife relationship and the colorado case was a couple with a live in slave. They have to pay her $60000 in back pay for nannying and housekeeping performed as well as over $150000 in "damages". The husband is still in jail for "abuse" of this woman for marking her. The children last I heard were in the custody of the grand parents with supervised visitation (in a room with 1 way mirrors and cameras) with their children.

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RE: what do u think about bdsm in marriage? - 4/29/2006 5:22:00 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Lets see. BDSM and marriage… bank account all tied up… Dominant personality riding your ass… feet are killing you… busting your ass at work… sure, why not.

Smiling Loki

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Post #: 33