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Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 7:51:16 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have a question to ask the Masters here. I've never owned a slave nor do I intend to so I'm not sure what to think of this situation.

I have a good friend who's been with her Master for 10 years now, they are both in their early 40's. They have lived together for 2 years. She works outside the home, pays him rent but she also performs all the chores like most slaves do. She has stuck with him thru some rather bad times (his divorce, his neck surgery, etc.)

She called me the other day to inform me that she was having surgery and would need to be off her feet for about two weeks, depending upon how she heals. I told her I could come and help her out for some of that time but not all of it. I said to her "Why doesn't your Master fill in for the days that I can't be there?" He owns his own company and makes his own hours. She hestiated for a moment and said "I asked him already and he said it would upset our M/s dynamic if he were to stay home and take care of me. He instructed me to ask some of the slaves in our group if they could come and help out."

I was taken aback by this as to my way of thinking a Master/Mistress always takes care of their property, particulary when its something as serious as medical problems. So I guess my question is this, Does a Master have an obligation to take care of a sick slave or would that actually upset the M/s dynamic?

~Lashra
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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 7:53:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I was taken aback by this as to my way of thinking a Master/Mistress always takes care of their property, particulary when its something as serious as medical problems.

Some doms think it's not right for a slave to ask questions, or for a master to give oral sex, or to give a slave a safe word, or to let the slave sleep in the same bed.  Whatever works for them.

quote:

 So I guess my question is this, Does a Master have an obligation to take care of a sick slave or would that actually upset the M/s dynamic?

For ME, actions have nothing to do with the dynamic.  The same action can be from any orientation.

And, no a master does not have any obligation to take care of a sick slave- he should be more than able to hire or recruit someone else to do it if he feels he cannot or should not.

However, if he wants things to get done as they were before, AND wants his slave to recuperate to full health, he needs to find a way to deal with that- whether it's recruiting someone else, doing it himself or some other solution.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/25/2006 7:55:38 AM >

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 7:55:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

he said it would upset our M/s dynamic if he were to stay home and take care of me.


How sad for her, that in her time of need her Master won't be there for her.  That is a telling testament to the nature of their relationship.  He should care for her, in her time of need.  I think it has very little to do with lifestyle, and everything about the type of person he appears to be.


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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 7:58:23 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		basic human compassion would dictate that at a minimum, IMHO

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 7:59:05 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Sounds like he has some issues he needs to work through.  If I had a devoted slave... for 10 years, too!... darn straight I'd take care of her when she was sick and post surgery!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I have a good friend who's been with her Master for 10 years now, they are both in their early 40's. They have lived together for 2 years. She works outside the home, pays him rent but she also performs all the chores like most slaves do. She has stuck with him thru some rather bad times (his divorce, his neck surgery, etc.)

She called me the other day to inform me that she was having surgery and would need to be off her feet for about two weeks, depending upon how she heals. I told her I could come and help her out for some of that time but not all of it. I said to her "Why doesn't your Master fill in for the days that I can't be there?" He owns his own company and makes his own hours. She hestiated for a moment and said "I asked him already and he said it would upset our M/s dynamic if he were to stay home and take care of me. He instructed me to ask some of the slaves in our group if they could come and help out."

I was taken aback by this as to my way of thinking a Master/Mistress always takes care of their property, particulary when its something as serious as medical problems. So I guess my question is this, Does a Master have an obligation to take care of a sick slave or would that actually upset the M/s dynamic?

~Lashra


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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:10:11 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		WHAT??

What's he going to do if no one can take care of HIM for that time? Is he going to say she can't have the surgery?

*grrrr*

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:11:32 AM   
babyblues


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		from my own experience of having 3 C-sections.....i don't believe he ever brought me so much as a glass of water, nor would i expect or WANT him too....they idea of Him waiting on me gives me the heebie jeebies - i would much rather do it myself.....
 
in fact, i recently converted our video tapes over and was watching one from in the hospital, the same day as my surgery....the camera was set up in the corner to get candid moments...you could see me struggling around the bed, fixing the sheets and covers and then i step aside and HE lays on the bed....i laughed when i saw it, the perfect example of our relationship, caught on tape....
 
and you know what? post-surgery, in obvious pain, newborn baby to nurse and all....i wouldn't have it any other way....i can totally relate to what your friend's Master has said...

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:14:32 AM   
TheProtector


Posts: 35
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		I would be there if it was just a friend, so HELL yes I be there for my slave
As I have said befor now "If I can not take the bad times, I do not want the good ones"

On that note "If you do not ever feel sad, how do you know when your happy"

I am not saying if I take on new slave or something like that when she is there, but I would never let her down.


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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:14:36 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		And you don't find that unhealthy?

When I had my gallbladder taken out last year, I couldn't move on my own without falling over. I couldn't even get up off the toilet without sprawling on the ground, screaming. You  don't think that your own health is a worthwhile cause for your owner? If you don't take the time to heal, you're not going to be of much use later.

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:18:56 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

he said it would upset our M/s dynamic if he were to stay home and take care of me.


How sad for her, that in her time of need her Master won't be there for her.  That is a telling testament to the nature of their relationship.  He should care for her, in her time of need.  I think it has very little to do with lifestyle, and everything about the type of person he appears to be.



Ack, I have to say this is a bit of an overstep.  Having been the recipient of such statements about my own Master (which I found wholley offensive), I have to say no one here has any idea what their dynamic is. 

A Master has no obligation to his slave at all.  It is her privilege to serve him.  If she is incapacitated and can not serve for a period of time, it is his generosity which allows her to seek help from others.  If he told her, "No, you must continue to perform all your duties as normal," then I might have concerns.  But to say he isn't there for her because he doesn't do the laundry? 

How many threads have we seen here, from slaves who were incapacitated, watching their Masters take care of things on their behalf, and feeling like a complete failure as a result? We have seen post after post (there was an entire thread on it awhile back) of slaves saying it was killing them to see their Masters doing all they (the slaves) typically do.  Perhaps this particular slave would not feel that sense of angst if other slaves were helping out, rather than her Master?  She would not feel inadequate by her inability to perform.  She would not see her Master in a light that does have the chance of disturbing her.  Maybe he IS looking out for her own best interests by having her seek outside help.

I say this because only my Master knows my heart and mind intimately.  The decisions he makes for me are always in my best interest, even if it does not appear that way to outsiders.  To that I say, thank God I am owned by one so generous to know what I really need. 

They have been in a relationship for 10 years.  Obviously it works for her.  How then can we, a bunch of anonymous strangers to her, decide he is not taking care of her?   Perhaps she hesitated before saying what she did, was because of concern for her friend's reaction to it, and she didn't want to be put in a position of defending him?  In 10 years, if she does not trust he is caring for her, she has bigger issues than who will cook and do the dishes after her surgery.

Hmm, I guess I have some strong opinions on this one...LOL.  I have a bit of a sore spot when people jump to "What a terrible Master" conclusions without knowing the full picture.

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:20:45 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
And, no a master does not have any obligation to take care of a sick slave- he should be more than able to hire or recruit someone else to do it if he feels he cannot or should not.


I agree with this statement. Since I don't know their personal dynamic, it could be that he believes in a totally different type of slavery than a loving, coupling kind of thing.  Some people like the 1800s version of American slavery. I tried to think about how those Masters handled it when their slaves were ill. Although history is certainly not my forte, I think they had a rather similar hands-off approach. Was the slave's family responsible for nursing a slave back to health? Did a doctor come over to the plantation? (Maybe someone more versed in American history could contribute here.)

Suffice it to say though, if he wants to continue to have her as a slave, he might want to consider having some kind of responsibility in her upkeep. After 10 years of service, he'd probably have a hell of a time finding someone who could replace her.


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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:21:33 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		Gosh i feel so badly for her... i can understand asking for out side help, but i would think he would still be there for her to help her... That really is a shame...

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:22:10 AM   
MasterDesire


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline 		I find it interesting that a socalled Master has no respect for the one that makes him a Master. He forgets so easly that if she had not given her self totally to him without question he would be nothing, It takes two to be Master and slave or sub not just one . I have seen so many times abuse and worse done to the girl or lady becasue she has choosen to live the life style and the so called Master does not have any respect to her for what she has given him. This life is the shareing of the dreams and desires between to people and those two are unique in their needs. Just as there are no two Masters or slaves that live the life in the same manner. But never should a slave or sub be looked down on in her time of need.

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:26:54 AM   
babyblues


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		well, 16 years after the first one and i seem to have survived ok....20 years into our relationship and i am as healthy as the day we met.....the doctors encourage you to get up and move around which is most likely why i healed so quickly....
 
the point is, it is MY job to serve Him and take care of his house, not the other way around....if i am sick i don't lay in bed moaning, i continue on with my tasks....i honestly cannot imagine it any other way
 
Him serving me? no thank you

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:33:05 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Personally, I find it a bit rough but who am I to critisise another Master, Gorean or not.? Agaion personally I prefer some sharing in home duties and one is unwell and unable to do their alloted tasks then it is up to the rest of the house to take up the slack.. For me the dynamic remains the same.... I have memories of my Father, a Charted Aoocuntant and Managing Director of a large tool manufacturing business, in emergencies helping with office work which would have normally been done by one of his juniors.. The work had to be done and his credability rose in the eyes of his staff too.... 

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:42:56 AM   
mathiasdomm


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		If you took out all the qualifiers, details, and the "she said he saids" and judged this as a hypothetical question, it'd look like this:

What is the appropriate role of a master in a situation where a slave can't function normally for medical reasons?

The way I see it, there's only one answer for that. The master should care for the slave. 

The question then becomes "what is in the slave's best interest?"  and that's something we can't know without knowing the slave, the master, and their relationship.  If it would hurt the slave to see Master do laundry, then Master shouldn't do it.  If it'd hurt the slave to know that Master wouldn't do his own laundry while slave was incapacitated, then Master should do it himself or have someone else do it.  There are probably lots more options. 

We don't have all the information necessary to choose the best option.

I find that stepping back from problems is usually the best way to deal with them.  Hope that helps.

-m

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:45:52 AM   
LoupdeMontagne


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I find it interesting that a socalled Master has no respect for the one that makes him a Master. He forgets so easly that if she had not given her self totally to him without question he would be nothing, It takes two to be Master and slave or sub not just one .


I find this idea interesting considering how many slaves are out there without masters. It takes a master and a slave to enter into the M/s dynamic and lifestyle but a master is a master regardless of property, just as a slave is a slave whether they are owned or not. That is their nature.

Do you honestly believe you are nothing without your slave? What a sad state to be in.

Hephaestus
Chambre du Loup de Montagne


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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:46:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babyblues
if i am sick i don't lay in bed moaning, i continue on with my tasks....i honestly cannot imagine it any other way
 
Him serving me? no thank you

On the other hand, there's a limit to which that's possible. 

If you get hit but a bus and become quadripalegic- you simply can't continue with your tasks as you did before.  If you need surgery which REQUIRES you to stay in bed, that's simply how it is. 

It's great that you push yourself to do all that you can do beyond some immediate discomfort or situation- but that doesn't make you a better slave than someone who is told they need to stay in bed or are literally incapable of walking.

Whether your master chooses to take over and care for you himself, or whether he gets someone else to do it is just a matter of relationship preference.  Lots of masters DO like serving, they DO like putting smiles on their slaves faces, they DO like doing things for slaves.  Sometimes the hardest thing a slave can give up is control over their own pleasure.

One way is no better than the other- as long as things get done and everyone is fulfilled.


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 8:52:03 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I say this because only my Master knows my heart and mind intimately. The decisions he makes for me are always in my best interest, even if it does not appear that way to outsiders. To that I say, thank God I am owned by one so generous to know what I really need.


You are lucky to have that.  And it's good that it works for you.

I just don't subscribe to the "Master is right about everything and infalliable" standard.  I think care and compassion, and being a good person in general should transcend the lifestyle.


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RE: Slave having surgery - 4/25/2006 9:03:05 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I do consider myself very lucky.

But I also did not say my Master is right about everything and infallible.  Nor did I say he does not care or have compassion.  I truly do understand your concerns, but I think to read one paragraph about somebody and decide the kind of person he is.  Simply put, we just don't know, and it is a leap to decide otherwise - - good or bad - - with "absolute" statements.

An example:  There was a girl in CM who decided my Master was a horrible person because I drove 2 hours to see him for 10 minutes (and I was simply GIDDY about the opportunity - 10 minutes was better than 0 minutes), and on my way home there was a storm and it took me 4.  He was pleased that I would work so hard for him, and smiled about it.  On the outset - yikes, right?  After she went around telling people I had to drive through a snow storm and he laughed about it (another reason that third party information is not always accurate), he and I had a chuckle over it, since neither of us have ever known it to snow in San Francisco in our lifetime.  But aside from that, any time I have wanted to see him since, if it is raining hard, he says "Another time, dear."  On the outset, that "ordeal" appeared brutal and inconsiderate of my well being.  But he and I know better.

There are many rays of light which shine a myriad of colors from a prism.  Sometimes we become focused on only one.


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