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A question... - 10/11/2010 12:21:57 PM   
Iholdthestrings


Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline 		...but one I'm not sure how precisely to bring up on the forum without mentioning unmentionables.

Ladies, hopefully you can decipher the code here.

I have a smart, well-grounded unmentionable that I made (with hubby's help) a little over 14 years ago.

I'm looking at the possibility of bringing in a domestic/service-only slave.

How do I explain said slave to the aforementioned?

edited to add the following: the poppet is known as girlfriend, she's a non-issue.

< Message edited by Iholdthestrings -- 10/11/2010 12:23:39 PM >

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She tied you to Her kitchen chair... and from your lips She drew the Hallelujah.
---------------------------
If I had an orgasm-trigger phrase, it would be "No Strings Housework". ;)
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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 12:36:31 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		No need for code. You can say the word, child/kid etc. You just have to watch the context in which you are speaking about them.

I think that as parents we are responsible for many things and some things I just think we need to address in an age appropriate manner. What my children, all adults now, know is different than what I would allow them to know earlier on. However, children are not dumb and they see things and give their own interpretation to them at all ages. You should hear my grandson! At four, there wasn't much that got passed him and he forgets nothing! If he can't understand it fully as I do, I limit what he knows or can figure out.

Grandma/mom/dad, why does so and so do all the work? Why do you talk to them like that? Why, what, why, who, how come.... NO Thanks! We are parents first and foremost and after the cute little bundles even to age 18 or 21 are out of the house, then and only then will I bring up things better left unsaid, undone and something I wouldn't want repeated to a teacher, friend or law enforcement.

However if said girlfriend/slave/housekeeper is presented as a friend, is spoken to without orders, shares in the work with the family and is respected as a whole, then I say... there isn't really much to tell the youngsters.


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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 12:43:59 PM   
Iholdthestrings


Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

No need for code. You can say the word, child/kid etc. You just have to watch the context in which you are speaking about them.

I think that as parents we are responsible for many things and some things I just think we need to address in an age appropriate manner. What my children, all adults now, know is different than what I would allow them to know earlier on. However, children are not dumb and they see things and give their own interpretation to them at all ages. You should hear my grandson! At four, there wasn't much that got passed him and he forgets nothing! If he can't understand it fully as I do, I limit what he knows or can figure out.

Grandma/mom/dad, why does so and so do all the work? Why do you talk to them like that? Why, what, why, who, how come.... NO Thanks! We are parents first and foremost and after the cute little bundles even to age 18 or 21 are out of the house, then and only then will I bring up things better left unsaid, undone and something I wouldn't want repeated to a teacher, friend or law enforcement.

However if said girlfriend/slave/housekeeper is presented as a friend, is spoken to without orders, shares in the work with the family and is respected as a whole, then I say... there isn't really much to tell the youngsters.



The issue isn't with the poppet, it's with a possible new acquisition. I'm looking at possibly having to explain the gentleman who's old enough to be My father moving in and going on a cleaning spree. (I realize there's a shitload more to it than cleaning, I'm just saying.)

My son is very smart and well-grounded, as I believe I mentioned in the OP, and as such would probably not freak out or much bat an eye at the disclosure. I'm not talking about discussing kink, but more about explaining that different people have different relationship dynamics, and that people find their fulfillment in lots of different ways. For some of us, that means having someone who can guide them and "be the boss". For others, it's about being that boss.

I dunno... I just feel like something is going to need saying and I want to give enough information without giving more than necessary.

_____________________________

She tied you to Her kitchen chair... and from your lips She drew the Hallelujah.
---------------------------
If I had an orgasm-trigger phrase, it would be "No Strings Housework". ;)

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 12:49:07 PM   
Steelslilbit


Posts: 130
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline 		I'd say in this I'd have to agree.  Another thing to decide is if this service only slave will be living with you.  If not, they are easily described to the child and others as "housekeeper", or just a friend of yours that comes over to help with the housework.  When I was collared to a Master some time ago, His wife (my sister slave) and He had an almost three year old, and I had one about that age from a previous marriage.  It takes some juggling, and a lot of thought and patience, when trying to have your BDSM cake and eat it too.  I didn't live there, but was there all the time, and our munchkins got really close to each other.  There was never any, and I do mean ANY kind of play when the wee ones were awake, and He was more about asking us to do things for Him than TELLING us to.

There really isn't one "right" way to go about it.  You know your child better than anyone as far as what their limits for understanding (and keeping their mouths shut about it).  It's kind of sad but true, your answer ranges somewhere between not telling them hardly anything...to spilling your guts and telling them everything (..... okay, so not everything.  Even at 14, no kid should know THAT much about their parents ^.^).


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If you wanna know you better ask, and if i don't want to answer i won't.

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 12:52:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Whatever you tell him, he will figure it out at some point. If you are comfortable talking about dynamic's of different types of relationships, then understand that he could investigate these dynamic's. Are you ready for the day when he figures a few things out and says... at age fourteen... mom, I know he is a slave, I'm not dumb you know! (That's what mine would have said, but they already knew I had slaves... them... it was a long standing joke.)

It isn't always what we tell them, but what they can learn from someone else or elsewhere. Be ready to address it all, because from my experience as a parent/grandparent, those lil buggers don't mince words or content when they want to know what's really going on and they all want to know what's going on because by age twelve they know it all and must know.

Good luck... you are far braver than I! lol I still won't do it with an adult son, who is brain damaged and lives with me. It's bad enough he shakes his finger at me like I was naughty when he knows I turned up the music and went to a special place with a MAN!. lol


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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 3:32:23 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Can't you just tell him that this gentleman needs a place to stay and part of the way he shows his gratitude for you letting him in the house, is to help with the housework. When I lived in florida, I stayed with a lady and her kids and part of my rent was housework and babysitting. There was no d/s involved and her kids never acted like they thought anything was weird about it.

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 3:36:41 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL, cuz of who I am and how I operate if my 14 year old daughter asked me: Dad, how come there is a naked lady in high heels with fire engine red lipstick scrubbing the bathroom floors?

I would answer: Cuz you cant get off your lazy ass and quit texting or playing guitar hero long enough to help, and I ain't never seen you put another roll of toilet paper on the roll when the last one runs out.  Any other questions?

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 3:38:43 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOL, cuz of who I am and how I operate if my 14 year old daughter asked me: Dad, how come there is a naked lady in high heels with fire engine red lipstick scrubbing the bathroom floors?

I would answer: Cuz you cant get off your lazy ass and quit texting or playing guitar hero long enough to help, and I ain't never seen you put another roll of toilet paper on the roll when the last one runs out.  Any other questions?


Thanks for the tea out the nose, Ron. ;)

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 3:39:22 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		clean it up, goddammit!!!! I aint the fuckin red cross here.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 4:26:45 PM   
SirGuy68


Posts: 96
Joined: 7/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOL, cuz of who I am and how I operate if my 14 year old daughter asked me: Dad, how come there is a naked lady in high heels with fire engine red lipstick scrubbing the bathroom floors?

I would answer: Cuz you cant get off your lazy ass and quit texting or playing guitar hero long enough to help, and I ain't never seen you put another roll of toilet paper on the roll when the last one runs out.  Any other questions?


BAM!!!! get a job and hire a house keeper!

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 9:32:29 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

clean it up, goddammit!!!! I aint the fuckin red cross here.


Gonna come make me? -smiles sweetly-

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 9:37:39 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KyttynTheMynx

Gonna come make me? -smiles sweetly-


Learn how to write, woman.  You got the words to "Gonna make me come?" in the wrong order.


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: A question... - 10/11/2010 10:43:28 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Youre such a tease...

I mean...I wrote it like that on purpose so you would catch it. Yup. Mhm. Thass mah story and I am stickin to it!

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: A question... - 10/12/2010 12:42:44 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I would if asked.... you needed some help around the house this friend needed a way to supplement his income..he get room and board for doing errands and keeping the house clean... and so voila we have a house assistant.. and then I would answer questions honestly as they come along.. kids ask as they require answers.. dont give them what they arent asking for.


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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
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RE: A question... - 10/12/2010 4:12:43 PM   
Iholdthestrings


Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
Status: offline 		I probably should have included this in the OP, but better late than never...

I don't ever lie to My son. I may not give him every bit of information about every little thing, but I never tell him untruth. I don't abide being lied to, and I lead by example.

_____________________________

She tied you to Her kitchen chair... and from your lips She drew the Hallelujah.
---------------------------
If I had an orgasm-trigger phrase, it would be "No Strings Housework". ;)

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
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RE: A question... - 10/12/2010 4:23:39 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I admire you not wanting to lie to your kids...I don't lie to mine eother, but given that limitation I really see only one option...tell him the truth.

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RE: A question... - 10/12/2010 4:44:21 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		"This is Bob.  He's one of Mommy's favorite people in the world.  He'll be staying with us for a while, and helping around the house."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: A question... - 10/12/2010 5:01:09 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I like that.... percise.. informative.. and truthful..

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

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RE: A question... - 10/14/2010 10:54:32 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Eh, I understand your hesitation but really... this is a non-issue, from what I'm gathering. You've already got the basics; it seems like you've got a good opinion of your son and a respect for honesty, and you've been doing this for a while so the S&M 101 topics are likely far in the past.

The only reason I can see for a call to arms is if you're sketchy about the gent you're bringing in. If so, but you intend to go through with things, then make sure you've got an exit plan and make sure your son knows you do, if not exactly what the criteria for giving your new housemate the boot may be. Details to be determined by you, but you get the idea.

Above all else, don't act embarrassed and don't overcompensate on the 'not embarrased' side of things, either. Focus on making commonsense guidelines that will make life easier for everyone, and make sure your son feels included by setting limits on your new resident's behavior that respect your son's boundaries. Do so efficiently with minimal drama for all parties concerned, and fearlessly. If you can pull that off, shouldn't be any problems.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: A question... - 10/14/2010 1:06:34 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

How do I explain said slave to the aforementioned?


We've always done so by emphasizing the service... Our saplings grew up in a household that had servants, and that was all there was to it. They -also- grew up in a household where the servants tasks were well defined and did NOT include doing the saplings' chores or cleaning the saplings' rooms! *grins*

I would just say "Hey, hon... so-and-so is going to be with us. Xhe's going to be taking care of the house for us and making sure that things run smoothly and are comfortable, and taking care of special projects that I ask hir to work on. (I would add "She's not going to be your personal maid, though -- you'll still have chores, and still have responsibilities that -you- will have to take care of."... but that's just me ).

Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/14/2010 1:08:33 PM >

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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