why so serious?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

why so serious?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> why so serious?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

why so serious? - 10/12/2010 5:46:07 PM

Saltypepper128

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

So I've been poking around on this site off and on for the past few years and one thing that has always bothered me is how everyone posts exactly what it is they're looking for out of someone. It feels like its all business on this site. It seems like no one actually wants to waste their time goofing around with a stranger because meeting that special someone will only happen if you put time and hard work into you're profile and your screening process. I actually read one that said goofy/funny emails is the fastest way to get blocked. I feel like I'm going shopping when I browse these personals. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just one of the weirdo trolls on this site?

Post #: 1

RE: why so serious? - 10/12/2010 5:47:21 PM

Saltypepper128

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

Oops I posted this in the wrong section. How do I move this?

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 2

RE: why so serious? - 10/12/2010 5:54:04 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Yeah, you did post this to the wrong place.

But despite that, why not just keep your profile the way that you feel best represents you? If that means that your profile is goofy and silly rather than serious, then so be it. The person that you're looking for will probably be more attracted to a silly profile anyway. They probably won't be the least bit interested in a really serious profile.

Bottom line: Be yourself.

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 3

RE: why so serious? - 10/12/2010 6:24:33 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

When you have one chance to make a good impression with someone who has the potential to be very important to you, wasting it by being goofy is probably not a great idea. On the other hand, showing a sense of humour is very sexy. The problem is not crossing that line. Apparently, there are a lot of people who don't want to risk mistaking where the line is.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 4

RE: why so serious? - 10/12/2010 7:29:31 PM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

I hate being serious. It makes me pessimistic.
Definitely want to avoid that.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 10/12/2010 7:42:12 PM >

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 5

RE: why so serious? - 10/12/2010 7:42:03 PM

IMaSlave86

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/26/2007
Status: offline

You pretty much are shopping if you're a male slave...something like 90% of the Dommes on this site require tribute/are hookers

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 6

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:05:02 AM

Saltypepper128

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
there are a lot of people who don't want to risk mistaking where the line is.

I guess so. I just thought that with the anonymity of these sites people would be more prone to fun, not less. It's like when most people go to a social gathering in person they try to meet people and have fun. Here it seems like a business meeting. Heres what i like. Heres what i don't. Do we match interests? No? ignore. Its like that episode of southpark about facebook. I feel like it takes a lot of the spice out of making small talk. Sorry, i'm ranting. I'll stop. I didn't mean to offend anyone if i did so please don't stab me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IMaSlave86
You pretty much are shopping if you're a male slave...something like 90% of the Dommes on this site require tribute/are hookers

Sorry man... that's pretty lame but people taking advantage of other lonely people is nothing new.... Just sucks that individuals are now turning this website into a wallet liner

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 7

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:08:42 AM

Saltypepper128

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I hate being serious. It makes me pessimistic.

It makes me feel bored and old.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
Definitely want to avoid that.

Definitely, definitely want to avoid that.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

Post #: 8

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:14:33 AM

TheRaptorJesus

Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline

I have no tolerance for goofing off.

_____________________________

What if your God... were a motherfucking DINOSAUR?!

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 9

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:17:29 AM

FelineFae

Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline

As said, if being funny is how you want to represent yourself, than that is what is right for you. Be glad you know this about yourself.

Lots of people really stress out on what they put into their profile information. Sometimes it shows up in the way they word things. It just happens that way, i don't know if they mean it to sound that way to the readers. Some people that are really easy-going offline aren't comfortable online and vice verse.

_____________________________

FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
: Disclaimer :
Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
Granting of Fae-Wishes VOID where prohibitededed.
Individual results may vary.

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 10

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:24:05 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

be yourself. the person that fits for you will be looking for that representation. if they don't like it, then they obviously arent the right fit.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 11

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 12:35:57 AM

Saltypepper128

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

I feel like my message was misinterpreted here. I'm not asking why people don't like me, I'm used to that. I'm asking why the norms are so different here from what they are in regular live social gatherings. It's like people just skip over the fun parts of meeting someone new which i feel should be very important in developing a lasting relationship. I would estimate that if you asked 100 people (females in particular because those are the only people I am usually asking) what they were looking for in a companion, I would say that atleast 80% of them would say that they want someone fun or funny, and yet here they are trying to skip right over the playful banter/joking around. Maybe I'm reading too much into things. SOMEONE STOP ME!!!!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 12

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 1:33:38 AM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

sp, you get 100 to 500 emails a day, and see if you dont find a method to weeding out the crap you get in your inbox. Do you know how much time it would take to get to know everyone who messages you personally? there arent enough hours in the day.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 13

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 1:54:13 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

OP, the reason that it might feel that way to you is because the women on this site (either side of the kneel) just don't have the time to goof around with every new person who sends email to her. It really is the sheer volume of the matter. The women on the site are going to invest their time in what they feel they are using the site for. That might be looking for a partner, just using the forum, or any one of multiple other reasons. While some people are here just for fun or down time, that's not going to be with every person who views their profile or sends an email.

quote:

ORIGINAL: IMaSlave86

You pretty much are shopping if you're a male slave...something like 90% of the Dommes on this site require tribute/are hookers

Aren't you just a ray of sunshine?

Seriously, there's really no proof of the comment and it's just conjecture. Usually when people make a statement like this, they are either a) searching for Dommes that are rather young (18-25), b) can't connect with lifestyle Dommes because they aren't good relationship material, or c) are only looking a pictures of Dommes that look like porn stars.

Try going to your local munch and asking how many of the Dommes have profiles on CM. It may quickly disprove your 90% theory.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to IMaSlave86)

Post #: 14

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 2:06:44 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saltypepper128

I feel like my message was misinterpreted here.

Spend some time here (the forums) and you'll find that's what generally happens

I'm not asking why people don't like me, I'm used to that. I'm asking why the norms are so different here from what they are in regular live social gatherings. It's like people just skip over the fun parts of meeting someone new which i feel should be very important in developing a lasting relationship.

I think you'll find this with most online interaction. People post a profile in order to attract a certain type of response. I think so much gets lost in translation online.

I would estimate that if you asked 100 people (females in particular because those are the only people I am usually asking) what they were looking for in a companion, I would say that atleast 80% of them would say that they want someone fun or funny, and yet here they are trying to skip right over the playful banter/joking around.

I'm definitely one of those women who's interested in someone with a sense of humor. That being said, "playful banter/joking around" usually translates better for me offline. Think of a profile as a brief (or in some cases, not so brief) glimpse into a person's mindset. Some are more serious than others and many want instant gradification...be it a relationship or a quick meet and beat. I think the fine art of getting to know someone has been lost in the process.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things. SOMEONE STOP ME!!!!

Yeah, maybe just a bit...but then, so do I sometimes. I won't stop you if you don't stop me

BTW...welcome!

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 15

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 2:12:47 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

I love to laugh and joke around! But there's only so much time in a day, and I spend much of my days laughing and joking around in person. So sometimes when I come here, it is nice when I get a deep, contemplative message from someone- or see a thread that makes me think about things in a new way.

So if someone opens with a serious message, it may get my attention in a very positive way. But then if I find our senses of humor don't match up well somewhere along the line, or if they really do seem like they don't laugh or smile easily- then yeah that would be a huge turn-off, if I were here seeking a D/s match. That's when I'd reach for the knife, and carve a smile into their face. It bugs me if people can't smile easily.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 16

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 3:02:24 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Something else to consider is that a sense of humour can be misinterpreted online - and not in a good way, because there are no physical cues to show how it is being received. Its actually easier to "play it straight" and get your point across, than to use humour and run the risk of being misunderstood.

and i have had fun with other posters - but it takes a bit of time for people to be comfortable with your posting style, before they know wheither or not you are kidding or trying to be funny. Being an alien in a strange land, people in rl think i'm a bit weird anyway, until they get to know me, then they realise that i really am odd. And thats ok!

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 17

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 3:12:33 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Saltypepper128

Maybe I'm reading too much into things.

Dingdingding, we have a winner. Just because a profile is serious doesn't mean that the writer is unwilling to laugh with you.

There's no nice way to ask this, but are you sure you're actually funny?

I've never felt like any jokes I made were unwelcome in women's inboxes. Maybe you're pissing them off some other way (if you're actually sending warm messages and being brushed off, rather than just assuming you'll be brushed off because of some vibe you get from a profile...)

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 18

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 9:43:52 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I never got how people are always focused on "the one" before they find it. How the hell does anyone know who is the right match unless you take the car out for a spin? I would have passed on at least two of my best relationships if I had been focused on finding perfection and not meeting, dating, and having fun with them for a few weeks or months. If you are a fun loving, joking, silly type, don't change that superficially to suit some ideal for a stranger that would not fit your personality. Be who you are, those that you don't attract are not right for you.

(in reply to Saltypepper128)

Post #: 19

RE: why so serious? - 10/13/2010 10:34:11 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

Funny.
Many claim they are. Few cause convulsions.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> why so serious?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094