Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives profiles?

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Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives profiles? - 10/13/2010 5:49:37 PM

behavingbadly

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i'm sorry if this is a stupid question i'm new to the lifestyle.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 5:53:24 PM

littlewonder

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what do you mean by wishlists?

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:03:26 PM

DesFIP

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Exchanging bdsm checklists is something you should do after you know there's basic compatibility. You need more than a common interest in electric play to be good together.

And female subs here get enough mail asking if they like being caned or used as a punching bag that we aren't likely to invite more such by listing our interests.

Because I can guarantee you that if you make it prominent in your profile that you want to be fisted, you'll have a line of guys wanting to make it happen.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 10/13/2010 6:04:17 PM >

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:04:53 PM

LadyPact

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Well, you've posted it at least twice, in two sections. Don't be surprised if a Mod deletes at least one. I really don't see this as a BDSM related topic, so it's not really a 'lifestyle' question.

The answer is fairly simple. People put in their profiles the things they want to add.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:21:54 PM

Saltypepper128

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I would guess a wishlist of things you want to do/done to you?

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:24:17 PM

strangedesire

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You mean wishlists on amazon and such? Dominant women will occasionally post that kind of thing on their profiles in hopes that someone will either send them a present to curry favor, or will get a kinky thrill out of buying her presents. I'd guess that this very rarely works, if ever. It's a weird crossover from prodomme websites - I hear that ladies with regular clients do occasionally get gifts from them.

There's no precedent for putting such a wishlist in a submissive's profile, and as it probably won't lead to anything, there's no real reason to either.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:31:08 PM

littlewonder

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I never had a wishlist because when I was single I was simply looking for a man who had the qualities I was seeking for a long term committed relationship, not someone who would buy me things I wanted in life or things I wanted done to me. None of that mattered to me. His personality mattered to me.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:42:21 PM

pachel

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probably because it seems when one does, a Dom comes along and says that subs should only be concerned with pleasing their Dom and not worried about what the sub wants. Some subs do post what they like, what they want, and what they expect though.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:49:31 PM

Killerangel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Exchanging bdsm checklists is something you should do after you know there's basic compatibility. You need more than a common interest in electric play to be good together.

And female subs here get enough mail asking if they like being caned or used as a punching bag that we aren't likely to invite more such by listing our interests.

Because I can guarantee you that if you make it prominent in your profile that you want to be fisted, you'll have a line of guys wanting to make it happen.

If you are talking about listing kink interests OP, no...I do not list them for the reason stated above. I got tired of men focusing on kink/sex when I was looking. I figured if I liked someone enough I'd let them know pretty quickly what my BDSM interests were and that I didn't need the extra focus on it in the beginning from men who were only concentrating on that aspect.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:49:56 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strangedesire

You mean wishlists on amazon and such? Dominant women will occasionally post that kind of thing on their profiles in hopes that someone will either send them a present to curry favor, or will get a kinky thrill out of buying her presents. I'd guess that this very rarely works, if ever. It's a weird crossover from prodomme websites - I hear that ladies with regular clients do occasionally get gifts from them.

There's no precedent for putting such a wishlist in a submissive's profile, and as it probably won't lead to anything, there's no real reason to either.

I'm so glad you posted this. Between the two threads, I was starting to think that I was pretty dumb for automatically assuming that by "wish list", the OP meant a list of gifts that the Domme might want to receive.

ETA - Maybe the OP should clarify, since people answering the threads are coming up with various definitions of what she means by "wish list".

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/13/2010 6:51:04 PM >

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 6:58:53 PM

behavingbadly

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i meant a wishlist of items. i'd appreciate clarification why dom/mes think they deserve things like that?

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 7:05:15 PM

strangedesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: behavingbadly

i meant a wishlist of items. i'd appreciate clarification why dom/mes think they deserve things like that?

It has nothing to do with deserving. People will try to get what they can. Posting a wishlist doesn't hurt anyone (unless you have a "buy me a present and then I'll have sex with you" scam going on) so I don't see anything terribly wrong with it. It's tacky, though, and it makes people think that the domme is only in this for the money. Personal choice, I guess.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 7:07:05 PM

LadyPact

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That part, I can't help you with, OP. I don't have a wish list of gifts on My profile. You might be able to get the answer from asking the person(s) who you noticed such a list on their profile. Those who have such a list on their profile would be where you could find the answer.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to behavingbadly)

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 7:19:34 PM

littlewonder

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:Because they can?

There's a fetish out there where some subs, usually male subs, want, need to buy their Dom/me gifts, spend money on him/her. It's their kink.

Then there are also the Dom/mes out there who use this as their profession. You buy gifts or give him/her money and in exchange he/she will play with you.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 7:47:47 PM

tazzygirl

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Wish List

10 million dollar bank account ~and

6 feet tall ~and

one foot on a banana peel one foot in the grave ~and

Me in his will

hmmmm....

That about does it!

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 10/13/2010 7:48:22 PM >

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 8:33:40 PM

ReginaMirus

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Uhm, because they have entitlement issues? I dunno.

Instead of guessing, why don't you just ask them?

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 8:33:51 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

6 feet tall

Why? Why would a woman want to be taller?

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 8:47:15 PM

tazzygirl

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Naaaa... HE has to be six feet tall. Hot, in my opinion, doesnt start until the 6 foot mark.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 9:19:56 PM

DarkSteven

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The wish list on subs' profiles is usually me.

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RE: Why don't you ever see wishlists on submissives pro... - 10/13/2010 10:06:55 PM

dreamerdreaming