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RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 3:30:38 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline 		lie or cheat

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(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 6:57:12 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are?

I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse. However I am a realist and was curious as to what your thoughts and experiences on the topic were.

Loki


using trust against you

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 8:07:42 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Off  Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back..Tempting

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 8:12:10 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Off  Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back..Tempting



Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do.

Smiling
Loki

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 10:00:22 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Off  Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back..Tempting




Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do.

Smiling
Loki

Thank you Tempting, been a difficult time...
C

...as much as I appreciate the name 'Loki' and it's association, I wouldn't suggest slapping me   <g>

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AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

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(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/26/2006 10:07:59 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'd have to say the most dishonorable thing I could do is to betray a friend.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are?

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/27/2006 4:41:23 AM   
shimmerUK


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are?

I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse.


I agree with you. Lying is a the worst thing. Abuse can be a judgement call, but lying is more a black and white case.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/27/2006 12:25:59 PM   
BrianSenior


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with many different takes on this topic, from the idea of child abuse (I would put that on top as well- I did not see the question being like that as it was addressed to Dominants, and knowing that it does not take a Dominant person but instead a sick minded person) to lies/deception with holding communication to Me is the same as a lie as well. I agree with most that have been posted. ~BK~

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/27/2006 8:01:49 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Off  Topic....I noticed Cerckl...welcome back..Tempting



Slaps TemptingNviceSub back on topic then wonders if that was the honorable thing to do.

Smiling
Loki
...LOL...ow?...hehehehe....Tempting

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/27/2006 9:20:31 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Not everyone who aspires to or uses a title is worthy of that title,
far from it.  The obvious answers have been stated; murder, rape, child abuse,
hurting someone weaker or less able to fend for themselves.
 
I would add, deliberately destroying another human being's self-confidence
and self-esteem, dehumanizing them until they loose the will to live and
dying seems more mercilful than living.
 
Thought provoking question Loki.
 
Thank you,
 
-Vendaval-




quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld
What do you feel the most dishonorable things a Dominant can do are?

I would like to think that Dominants are honor bound and above lying and abuse. However I am a realist and was curious as to what your thoughts and experiences on the topic were.

Allow me to clarify it with “Within a D/s relationship.”

Loki



_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/28/2006 8:28:01 AM   
rapture2778


Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		agreeing with Celeste...outside of the moral "no-no's" i see pretending to be something you aren't or don't understand...many proclaim to be something that they really have no clue what it means to be...they think if they can "front" that they understand the lifestyle, it will increase their chances of getting laid!  i also think not being consistent is a "let down"  if i am expected to remember the rules, he should be "observant" enough to follow through with them....

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/28/2006 8:46:41 AM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		I may be far afield in respect to the timbre of this discussion, but I can't see honor as a relative term.  In my mind, to consciously betray one's values, mores, principles is to dishonor oneself.  There is no lesser or greater dishonor, as far as I can see it, there is only the issue of whether one will live with or without honor.
Timothy

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/28/2006 10:59:02 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Breaking contracts, pretending to be someone other than who they were  & lying about things. 
Honor to me is based on the integrity of someone. Someone who lies or does not honor their word or contract brings shame to their whole house.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/30/2006 8:33:57 PM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline 		Here is my list of what i would consider the most dishonorable things that a Dominant could do, with-in the D/s relationship:
#1. Lying to one's submissive
#2. Not keeping one's word
#3. purposefully going beyond a hard limit
#4. Injuring the submissive, either physically or emotionally because of any sort of activity that had happened. (i.e. if the submissive was spanked and it was not a hard limit for them, but there was serious physical damage)
#5. abandoning the submissive without contact or release
#6. not respecting limits
that is just a short list, there are more. but i think y'all get what i was trying to say
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

What do you feel the most dishonorable things, within a D/s context, a Dominant can do are?



Top of my list, setting aside your own morals, ethics or values as subjugation to another.  I've seen it far to often where a Dominant will buckle under to keep or get a submissive/slave which, in my mind, means they are not a dominant at all. I've also seen many instances where a Dominant will back peddle in their beliefs or morals just to smooth things over and still churning waters in dealing with a fellow Dominant, not because they believe a differing stance, but because it's easier to do so. That, to me, is dishonorable as well. If your belief in something is strong, it doesn't mean you can't or won't listen to other opinions and perhaps take on a differing belief because a sound argument has changed your mind, but to take on something which is not your own, which you don't believe ... I wonder where the dominance hides at times.

Celeste

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Honor and dishonor - 4/30/2006 9:03:21 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		The most dishonorable thing a Dom/Domme can do is deliberately not provide needed aftercare.

Lying vs honesty, and other virtues vs faults, are common to us all whether BDSM related or not.

After care is the unique purview of a Dom/Domme.

Failure to provide needed after care, or worse, refusing a sub contact or their physical presence and protection after a scene, is a heinous BDSM 'crime'.

Pawning after care off onto a beta or some other third party is just as offensive.

IMHO,

TexasMaam

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Honor and dishonor - 5/1/2006 2:38:55 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I think honesty and trust is such an hot issue and is constantly coming up in threads because on these issues people don't really trust themselves so why should they trust someone else?

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Honor and dishonor - 5/1/2006 3:53:29 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		From Merriam-Webster...

There were many definitions of this word, this, I find to be most applicable in this context:

8 a : a keen sense of ethical conduct : INTEGRITY b : one's word given as a guarantee of performance

To do anything which compromises ethical conduct or to break one's promise constitutes dishonor.

As a side note:  Lies of omission are still lies and do count.  If a person discusses his or her personal expectations of a relationship, whether a committed one or not, and you pursue the relationship, it does mean that you've accepted those expectations and will uphold them unless you've verbally said otherwise.  In other words, be completely candid and above board at all times.  Ignoring or not discussing another person's expectations and then disregarding them does display a lack of integrity and honor as well.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Honor and dishonor - 5/1/2006 5:03:37 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		Dishonorable?

Kind of depends who you are... some things are acceptable to you that aren't for others...


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Honor and dishonor - 5/1/2006 5:52:00 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		This has been a really good post for me to follow. It touched a few raw spots inside myself and I am a firm believer that if something bothers you its probably something inside yourself you need to look at and address. Celeste and rapture have touched several times on the idea of changing viewpoints and wants to appease someone to get whatever we want. The reason that bugged me was that I think that at times in the past few years I could have been accused of that. And that just bugged the shit out of me because I didn't like that I could be seen that way. Upon further thought I understand why I behaved that way, and am not going to punish myself for it. It's been a really sharp learning curve for me this last year especially. Many times has someone close to me brought up a subject that at first I had a kneejerk reaction of "HELL NO!!" then upon further contemplation about why I reacted like that and considered how I felt once the learned response was taken away. Allowed myself to see things from a different perspective, my attitude changed. I have been working VERY hard to change myself in regards to snap judgments, its not easy as I have a lifetime of it that has only been encouraged by the types of employment I have had.   Soooo, all that being said I guess I can say I have committed that particular sin and may again. However, as in learning to accept myself and my needs and desires without the judgements I was taught from birth. I am also trying to apply that to others and their needs and desires. So yeah, if you asked me about limits or kinks a year or two ago they would have been vastly different from today, and maybe in another two years they would be different again. Now I know I am putting out some stuff about me that might scare a potential submissive however not really expecting any "magic" from collarme AND also saying that I believe that whatever happens between two consenting adults should in fact be consensual will hopefully "unscare" anyone.   Thanks Loki for making me think!!!  

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Honor and dishonor - 5/1/2006 4:01:52 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		A list of what I consider to be dishonorable acts is:

Against others:
- Abuse, regardless of the method
- Rape
- Lying
- Theft

Against me:
- Assault without provocation
- Drug use

Everything else, I will at least try to talk about as to why it happened.  I have no use for drug users, though, and by drug users I mean illegal substances such as coke, heroin or pot.  If it's legal, I don't care as long as point 2 doesn't lead to point 1 in the "Against me:" category.  I brooke no aggression towards me, unless I have earned it somehow, and even then, I won't simply allow someone to beat the hell out of me.  My philosophy on that is, "First one's free, but the second one will cost you."

But, like I said, some people will tolerate things that others will not.  There won't be a real consensus over this idea because honor is a personal thing, not a strict code everyone has to adhere to.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 80
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